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    Fr. Joseph Jenkins

  • The blog header depicts an important and yet mis-understood New Testament scene, Jesus flogging the money-changers out of the temple. I selected it because the faith that gives us consolation can also make us very uncomfortable. Both Divine Mercy and Divine Justice meet in Jesus. Priests are ministers of reconciliation, but never at the cost of truth. In or out of season, we must be courageous in preaching and living out the Gospel of Life. The title of my blog is a play on words, not Flogger Priest but Blogger Priest.

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Disassociation from the Family

downloadQuestion

I have been married for thirteen years and love my husband very much.  Nevertheless, I feel that he has given up on me and the family.  His work consumes him and he hardly spends any time with the family.  He has stopped going to Mass and refuses to have anything to do with Mass.  He says he loves me but his actions fail to show it.  I would like your advice.

Response

Has he explained why he sees no value in the Mass? It sounds as if something has happened that has turned him off to it. Often changes in practice are due to anger or to a loss of faith or because something has happened that clashes with the values of the Gospel and brings unwanted guilt. You mention it within the context of his disassociation from the family and his failure to express his love to you.  Dialogue with him about the situation is the first course.  It appears that there may be a secret eating away at him.  Lacking details I am fearful of suggesting various possibilities, but I am sure that you have speculated yourself about what might have caused this change.  Answers might not be forthcoming. Would he be resistant to counseling? Marriages should be happy and nurturing. Unfortunately, something can happen to change that. Continue to love him and to be faithful, even if you have to carry a cross in the relationship. The obligations of marriage always mean sacrifice and sometimes weigh heavier upon one spouse than another. I knew one woman who loved her husband even though he showed little feeling and few gestures of tenderness and intimacy. She gave 100% and he maybe gave 10%. He worked and provided for the family— but he was cold. He refused to change but she never gave up on him. Returning to your situation, I will keep you, your family and your husband in prayer.

Cardinal Müller Gives Needed Clarification

muller

This was probably the most important interview that Arroyo ever presented on World Over. CARDINAL MÜLLER says that the “moral” is the “pastoral”… there can be no conflict… no polygamy… no sacramental spouse and another civil law spouse… the Holy Father’s document must be interpreted within the Catholic tradition. Anything else is heresy! He spells out that any accommodation that would permit the restoration of the sacramental life (without an annulment) would be a “brother” to “sister” relationship. He also said that women deacons are impossible. The biblical title was not a reference to Holy Orders. The ongoing commission is being misinterpreted. Nevertheless, he did say that we may find new non-sacramental charges for women.

You Can’t Overcome Biology

parentarights

Recognition of such couples as parents on birth certificates would be an exercise in utter delusion about the basic reality of human sexual reproduction. It would also further undermine the already imperiled biological parental rights and corresponding responsibilities of fathers.

Document on Parental Rights of Fathers

Slavery in the World Today

slave

I borrowed this link from a priest-friend. It is an incredible story. The article is written by the late Alex Tizon.  Human trafficking or slavery has reached historic high numbers.  It is estimated that almost 30 million people throughout the world are currently reduced to slavery.  As many as 60,000 people might be victims of secret bondage in the United States.

Recommended Family Films

51Woc2j1sjL._SY445_These are movies that we have either shown to teens or are planning to show them.  They are entertaining and provide for important teaching moments.

The Boy Who Could Fly

Saving Grace

A Home of Our Own

The Mighty

The Boy with Green Hair

Spare Parts

Paper Planes

Endgame

The Perfect Game

We plan on showing and discussing THE PERFECT GAME at the Parish Confirmation & HS Teen Retreat this April.

Establishing a Home Altar or Shrine

There are some who put up wood cabinets, either free-standing or in the wall. These can be quite nice but also expensive. The top of a small wall table, mantle or shelf might do as well. The use of a cabinet makes it easier to store additional religious items.

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The home altar is a place for family and individual prayer but is also a visible reminder of our Catholicity. Every home should make room for Jesus and have visible signs of faith and divine protection. What does one place upon the altar? There should be a standing crucifix or one attached immediately to the wall behind the shelf or table. Often there is a statue of the Blessed Mother although one might substitute a statue of the Holy Family.

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If Mary is depicted alone then a parallel statue of St. Joseph might be in order. I am also a proponent that every home should be consecrated to the Sacred Heart. Either a statue or picture of the Sacred Heart should be displayed. Candles are traditional and some would add flowers. There should be Holy Water (font and bottle). Medals associated with devotions could be placed on the altar. The rosaries of family members may either sit upon the table or hooks adjacent in the wall or mantle itself. Various Holy Cards of special patrons could be set there. There should always be a Bible and individual prayer books. Many also include a missal so that if Mass attendance is impossible, the readings of the day can be studied. If a table is used, then a nice linen cloth should cover the top.

Here are a few suggestions that can be purchased online:

Large Standing San Damiano Marble Resin Cross Crucifix

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Holy Family Jesus Mary Joseph Religious Figurine

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Design Toscano Blessed Virgin Mary Statue

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12 Inch Sacred Heart Of Jesus Holy Figurine

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Saint Joseph with Child Statue

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Holy Spirit Holy Water Font

TS180_278_393

Votive Candle Holders (use inexpensive tea lights)

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St. Joseph Daily & Sunday Missal

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The Didache Bible: Ignatius Bible (RSV-2CE) Edition

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Catholic Prayer Books

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8 Oz Holy Water Bottle / 5 oz Stainless Steel Round Holy Water Bottle

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WC607_278_299

San Damiano Corded Wood Rosary / Madonna and Child Hematite Rosary

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Counseling for Catholic Marriages

Catholics with marital problems should have readily available avenues within the Church for professional counseling in the hopes of salvaging their marriages.

More can be done to prepare priests for this kind of work but I think there is also a need for full-time professionals with training in psychology and intervention-counseling. These counselors should be well-versed with the Catholic faith. If they are not on the same page with us about human sexuality and the value of marriage, then they can escalate a problem instead of being part of the solution.

  • When red lights appear in the Pre-Cana preparation, referrals can be made before marriages in the Church.
  • When problems develop within marriages, referrals can be made to facilitate healing or reconciliation.
  • When questions arise about sexual identity and remaining in good standing with the Church, referrals might be made to assist people in coping and to counteract bias from non-Catholic sources.

While there are good independent counselors who charge fees, I would also recommend that there be professionals hired directly by the Church. Their salaries might be shared between parishes as within deaneries. They would work closely with pastors, while preserving confidentiality, to either prevent bad marriages or to salvage troubled ones. Such staffing should be viewed as serious as religious education directors, office managers and bookkeepers. In any case, a public list of counselors vetted by the Archdiocese should be readily available to pastors and the people they serve.

Catholic marriage counseling is necessarily different from that which is offered by those who do not share our understanding of marriage or our views about human sexuality. These counselors need to discern how a troubled Catholic marriage might be fixed. The truths of faith are integrated into our appreciation of psychology. The goal is to have couples living a daily vocation where there is both joy and sacrificial love. Marriage is viewed as a covenant and as a permanent union. Too many quickly jump to divorce as the answer. Catholics should see that as an option generally taken off the table.

Instead of urging an immediate divorce, a separation might be promoted so as to further the conversation or to prevent verbal and/or physical abuse. If a marriage has terminal problems and cannot be salvaged, then the counselor might suggest an annulment. That is where the pastor and/or the officials on a Church Tribunal would enter the picture. However, this is inherently always a sad or tragic situation. It means that avenues to save a marriage have failed.

Right now we have noble efforts like Retrouvaille but there is a pressing need for something more clinical.