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    Fr. Joseph Jenkins

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VOCATIONAL ASIDES: Do You Have A Story?

A number of years ago (January of 2008), when I posted a few reflections about the priesthood and celibate love, I was almost immediately bombarded by the stories and comments of others, particularly those with negative experiences.  I was taken aback by both the pain and the dissent.  There was also anger against me— as if I had no right to be happy or satisfied with my priesthood and celibacy.  There were three stories in particular that I shared with my blog readers and to which there was additional interaction.  The initial stories came from Jim, Becky and Thomas.

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Artwork by the cartoonist Ian Baker.

Jim’s Story

I studied to be a priest. But there was a special girl that haunted my day dreams and my night fantasies. The rector said to give it time and I did. But, after a few years I found it unbearable. I missed Sharon too much. I saw her during the summers and even that was forbidden. We tried not to call it dates even though we knew they were. She was my best friend. We prayed the rosary and even the breviary together. She missed me and yet tried her best to support me in a vocation I thought I had. Nevertheless, I never dreamed about saying Mass or hearing Confessions. All I thought about was holding Sharon’s hand and looking into her eyes.

One day I said I had endured enough. It was not for me. I raced over to Sharon’s house crying. I told her that if I had any vocation, it was with her and that I was leaving the seminary. She fell into my arms and we shared the first passionate kiss either of us had ever known.

Becky’s Story

I loved Joe. I gave more to Joe than a single girl should ever do. He said he loved me but later I found him with another girl. Instead of saying he was sorry, he laughed at me. I was so hurt and angry. And yet, I was surprised when my world did not fall apart. I had thought about being a religious sister, but my relationship with Joe held me back. I went on a discernment retreat and while at prayer became convinced that there was another lover calling me, Jesus.

I cannot say that I have totally forgotten Joe, but I cry no more and know a joy beyond words.

Thomas’ Story

The rector told us that when we heard our names called by the bishop at ordination, we could take for granted that we had a vocation. He said to brush aside all doubts. In any case, it was the 1960’s and rumors were flying that celibacy would very soon be made optional. We got ordained and then nothing changed. I tried to be patient but then classmates started leaving the priesthood and I felt increasingly alone. Then I met Shirley.

Sexual intimacy and marriage was something I often thought about and heard from others, but had never known. Now I could put a face on my desires as a man. Shirley and I did not mean to fall in love, it just happened. I did not want to abandon ministry and yet it looked more and more like the discipline about celibacy would never change. Shirley pressed me that if we waited too long, we could never have a family. But if I left the priesthood, it would break my mother’s heart. I just could not get myself to do it. Shirley never really forgave me and when she married someone else a few years later she sent me a picture of them. On the back she wrote, “This could have been you!” Another man holds her now. Another man shares kisses with her. I have to live with that and the price of my priesthood.

My Assessment of the Three Testimonials

Jim, there is no blame for a guy who went to seminary and eventually discerned that he did not have a religious vocation. The problem is when guys get ordained and then have second thoughts.

Becky, I am glad that you hear a calling to a religious vocation as a bride of Christ. Of course, one should make sure that the calling is genuine and not just something on the rebound. A religious vocation is not our running away from someone or something but a drawing a closer to someone, our Lord.

Thomas, I am not sure what to say? You should not feel sorry for yourself and neither should you feel remorse about your priesthood. Further, the good of your vocation is not something to be preserved merely because of appearances or even because of the potential scandal and hurt to others, including parents. You made a promise to God and even if priests in the future should be able to get married; there is no reason to expect that anything about a change in discipline would be retroactive. Our celibacy is a great gift and it is permanent. Thank God for it. Be a happy priest!

Does anyone else out there have a brief story to tell?  The invitation was taken up by Chuck and the so-called Reverend Tina.

Chuck’s Story

If you really wanted people to share their vocation stories then you would stop being so judgmental and criticizing everyone who shares their stories and views! You and your friends have no right to judge and condemn priests and nuns who left ministry for marriage.

I met Aggie when she was a senior at an all-girls’ high school. I was a young priest and taught math. I fell for her at first sight. We tried to cool matters but we were not robots like you— but passionate flesh-and-blood people. I told the pastor. The bishop tried to talk me out of leaving. But I could not live without her and no one was going to convince me otherwise. When she turned 18, we moved in together and the rest is history. We have three children, two girls and a boy. Would you tell them that they had no right to be conceived or born? How can a man pledge perpetual celibacy when he has yet to meet the girl of his dreams? It is crazy and unnatural. It is no wonder that the homosexuals have taken over the priesthood!

As for being married to the Church, that is utter nonsense! You can’t go to bed with the Church! You can’t hold her naked warm body against your own! You can’t share your dreams with her or even share an orgasm with her. A man, a real man, wants a woman to love. He needs to feel her body and to become one flesh with her!

You know nothing! You are a poor fool left out in the cold! There is nothing like loving a woman and all your analogies fall short. It is about entwined bodies, legs, breasts, lips, arms and hands. It is awkward and yet beautiful. It is sacred and messy.

Despite the twisted minds and morals of so many in the Church, there is nothing sinful or wicked about sexuality. I could still be a priest and have my Aggie, if only sanity and common-sense ruled. Unfortunately, it does not. The men who leave such a corrupted woman-hating priesthood are not to be pitied but praised and imitated.

Tina’s Story

I am going to tell you a story that I have kept absolutely secret until now.

I am 42 years old and have been a Roman Catholic priest since I was 26 years of age. I went to a liberal seminary in the Northeast US. My grades were exceptional and I got along well with everyone. Currently I am the pastor of a small parish and also do regular hospital ministry. The parish is thriving and the people feel that they are being well cared for. So far, there is nothing unusual, but here is the punch: I am a woman and for the last ten years have been married, albeit only in a ceremony conducted by a Unitarian minister.

How could this be? My twin brother took the necessary physicals prior to acceptance into the seminary. My own female features are slight and I wear a slight restraint around my breasts. I am thin and small. My hair is cut short, like that of a man. I was careful of the showers and in the bathroom during the seminary formation. No one caught on. We had private rooms, so I did not have to worry about a roommate finding out and blabbing.

I received acolyte, lector, my candidacy and eventually ordination to the diaconate and priesthood. I hanged out with the guys who were a bit effeminate, maybe gay, and no one was the wiser. After ordination, I even worked in the chancery for a time.

I became a bit lonely as the years passed and began to live a double life. I would go out for a couple of days, put on a wig and dress and started dating. That is how I met Phil. He knows and keeps my secret. We always said that if I became pregnant I would end the charade, but I guess between my age and regular birth control use, babies were not meant to be.

There you have it, both a woman and a married priest, all in one! None of it makes any difference. My work is as good as or even better than that of any celibate man.

My Assessment of These Two Additional Testimonials

Chuck, your anger against me and venom against the Church tells me that you still have a lot of unresolved issues and resentments.  I will try not to take it personally, but I would urge you to reconcile with the faith (even if on the pew side of the Church) and to find genuine peace.

As for Tina, sorry, I do not believe you. Yes, you heard me right; I am calling you a liar to your face. I bet you are not a priest, maybe you are not even a woman? There is no way that such a thing could ever happen. Given the years of formation and the close proximity of the men, you would quickly be found out. I admit it makes for a sensational story, but a story is all it is. No doubt the fake legend of Pope Joan is very much fueling your imagination. What are you really, a wannabee woman priest? Are you a female minister who wishes she was more? Are you an atheist fellow seeking to further ridicule the Church and the priesthood? Come on— come clean— stop telling us tall tales.

Debbie’s Comments

I only have a quick comment. I was unaware that they were talking about ending the celibacy requirement in the 1960’s. Nevertheless, I priest I know recently said that if my son were discerning, there was still the possibility that he could get married someday. Does the rumor ever end? I wonder how many still think that change is coming soon.

Karl’s Comments

A celibate, faithful priesthood most reflects its inspiration, Jesus.

As a consequence of my divorce I have lived a celibate life and have concluded that a married priest has too divided a set of obligations. Not that this is wrong or impossible but my opinion has been reinforced.

A priest who leaves his vocation is no different than my wife who is an adulterer. It is scandalous. They should repent and return to an appropriate ministry, if that is allowed. It is the honorable thing to do.

Every day in my line of work I engage many women, single and married who are attractive on many levels, including beauty; but a vow is a vow and it can be lived grudgingly or it can be accepted and be an opportunity, not always but sometimes. It will never be such if it is kept in hatred.

The priest who has invited these comments is not one that I would classify as judgmental.  I would describe him as faithful to his Church and its tenets.

Debra’s Comments

When I was a child in the 1960’s, you could never tell your parents about a “funny” priest, brother or nun” without getting slapped.

I used to think as a child that they were given a grace that made them “almost perfect” and so I was repeatedly surprised when I saw Father So-and-So drunk or rude or swearing or acting racist. I was caught off-guard. Of course, this fueled my later “Catholic in name only” teen years. When I became more mature, I realized we were all human and returned to Church practice.  Some priests are more imperfect than others.  I decided to support the Church in whole and to pick the parish where I wanted to attend. My faith is in Jesus, not a particular priest or pastor. Priests and nuns should be respected, supported and loved.  But we should not tolerate bad acts from them.  They need lots and lots of prayers.

Mary’s Comments

Whoever questions celibacy or the martyrdom required of priesthood has not met Jesus. When one meets Jesus, one is called to true heroism. Priesthood is not natural – it is supernatural. Priests can change the world.

Dawn’s Comments

The priesthood is “supernatural”…that sounds very beautiful… almost too good to be true. It is sad that most priests fall far short of it. I am not just talking about them giving into sexual temptations, but also about the “not so nice” side of their personalities.

Priests are flesh and blood men. When ordained do their natural inclinations and desires miraculously fall by the wayside? No, such is not the case.  Yes, God is supposed to give them this supernatural grace to resist their own humanness; and yet, they are still human. The devil will never cease to try and undo a priest. They get tired, cranky, bored, and at times almost apathetic. Many of us have experienced this in the priests we have known.  It is so obvious that many have become complacent and simply go through the motions.

I had a priest tell me in the confessional that I was “unlovable” and that I deserved to be treated badly by my husband. Yes, he said this after I poured out my heart out upon learning that a divorce was pending. I have been “dismissed” by more than one priest when seeking regular counseling. I was told to get professional help when I was really seeking spiritual guidance. My nephew who worked in different parishes as a music director was shocked to hear the awful language coming from the pastor’s mouth. Yes I mean the “F” word. Another pastor pushed him out of his job by being downright mean and nasty to him, picking apart his every effort at directing the choir and selecting sacred music.

Many priests of Jesus Christ fall way short of modeling him as they are called to do. True, perhaps a few bad apples do not spoil the whole bunch; but we must try to stop putting them on some sort of pedestal from which as mere humans they are eventually destined to fall.

I for one will never abandon the one true Church of Jesus Christ because of the poor witness of priests I have unfortunately encountered. We must pray for holy priests— that they will remain strong, pure and steadfast in their promises made before God. One thing we should never do is crucify them for falling. We are all broken creatures and given to a wounded nature. Let us continue to pray for and love our priests. Let us forgive those who have disappointed or hurt us in any way. But also let us not put them on the same supernatural level as our Lord.  If we do then we are setting them up to fall from such heights.

Thomas’ Comments

Marriages fail and the Church offers annulments to help people who want to love and live again. If such is the case for them, then how can we be judgmental against priests who want to get married?

Priests are human, too. They are not cold and heartless machines. They are flesh-and-blood men with all the strengths and weaknesses of all men. They are not supermen!

We have a Church where gays and pencil-pushing eunuchs seek to manipulate heterosexual men with normal drives and needs with analogies of a spiritual marriage with the Church and with fear of punishment and censure. They talk about the grace of celibacy as if it is a drug to nullify sexual longing and the need for intimacy. Men are humanized by women. Relationships with women allow men to become adults.

But, we do not want adults, do we? Adults talk back and we want boys who will behave! The Church forces its priests to remain as children, and yet they live in the bodies of adult men. Pedophiles and pederasts are able to sneak into the priesthood because formation programs leave men generally at the maturation of twelve year olds. They relate to children because psychologically the hierarchy wants them to remain in the Peter Pan mode of stilted development.

When a priest messes with a woman, more so than not, she is the one who seduced him. Don’t get me wrong, she need not play the seductress. All it takes is a normal loving woman to knock down the priest’s shaky house of cards. Priests are taught to see women as a threat to their celibacy. They are told to stay away from them and not to have close female friends. If he is caught having dinner alone with a woman or, God forbid, gives a woman a kiss, the fishbowl gossips spread the alarm and eventually the bishop punishes the man. How dare you act like a normal man! You are Church property! You belong to us, body, soul and genitals! You are to have no views but those ideas promoted by the Church! Do not talk politics because the Church will be sued and forfeit its tax exemption! Do not even suggest that the Church could be wrong, or else! You will be silenced! You will be transferred! Okay, you caught Father So-N-So with another clergyman in a compromising situation— tell no one or you will be sorry! Okay, we had to move Father Juvenile again because he got too close to the kiddies— tell no one or you will be sorry! Okay, you were hauled into court— keep your mouth shut and we will reward you with a monsignor title when you are released! Remember, canon law allows the priest to be punished for causing scandal, so don’t do it! Stay away from Susie and keep your mouth shut! Homosexuals we can handle, but not abandoned women and crying fatherless babies! Are you sure you are heterosexual? Things would be so much easier only if, well, only if.

If celibacy were optional, so much of this scenario would change. There would be a new springtime in terms of the dynamics of ministry in the Church.

Billy’s Comments

Given your history of rigidity on such issues, I am surprised that you allowed Chuck’s words to stand without some sort of rebuttal.  Did you take his challenge about censorship seriously? Let me shake the boat some more.

Keeping promises is one thing, but the negative stereotyping of a whole people is something else. I am sick and tired of homophobes saying that there are too many gay priests or that gay men should be kept out of the priesthood. How dare anyone hold such prejudices and still claim to be a Christian!

Is there anything wrong with a gay caste for the priesthood? After all, the Church does not want gay men to be active anyway. It would seem that those willing to be celibate or at least discrete among each other would be the best way to go. There is no longing for old girlfriends or any seeking to satisfy with other appetites the loss of heterosexual sexual intimacy and pleasure.

Fat priests overeat to make up for their sexual repression. Other clergy drink heavily. Are they being true to their celibacy? No! But they are quickly excused. They are also quick to condemn others, even as they are blind to their own transgressions!

Most homosexuals are not pedophiles or pederasts. Indeed, I suspect there are far more heterosexual abusers in the ranks of the clergy. But, they may be better at hiding their scandalous acts. I heard the one case where a priest married a young girl as soon as legality permitted. We can readily presume that the so-called romance had started well into the past. He covered up his crime by making her his wife. Seminaries should give a preference to gay men. They are the most likely to flourish in an all-male environment and will probably remain in the priesthood with greater numbers than men pining away about breasts and vaginas.

It is also true, at least culturally, that gay men have better musical and aesthetic tastes than straights. Most of my friends among the Latin traditionalists are gay. When it comes to dress up, smells and bells, tassels and cloaks, it takes a gay man to do things right. Ritual and chant is like dance and song. The liturgy is the greatest drama. From Broadway to the Vatican, there are thousands of gay men doing what they do best.

So, come on guys, let’s get with it. The priesthood is our playground and the Church is our stage!

Patricia’s Comments

If we were only living for this world then Billy and Chuck scored big points in this discussion!  If there be all there is, then go for it!  Have gay sex! Use contraception! Try to do it all and split your time and dedication between marriage and a church vocation! Have 1.5 children, keep your career, and maintain your personal time and space— sacrifice as little as you possible can! If that is all you “think” and “feel” will make you happy then surrender yourself to your strongest urges.

On the other hand, if Jesus really rose from the dead, left an authoritative teaching authority, gave us commandments and reminded us that this life is an eye-blink compared to eternity; well, then, we will one day have to pay the piper.  I would like to thank good priests for witnessing not only with their preaching but with their celibacy.  They are signs in their persons of another world with a different set of values— forsaking earthly pleasures for the joys of eternity.

Thank God, for the genuine Christian witness of priests and faithful lay Catholics. Embracing our crosses can bring inestimable joy. Sacrifices given out of love will be rewarded and usher forth lasting joy. As a mother I know that my sacrifices bring contentment and happiness when I look at my children. The priests have peace and joy in sacrificing for the flocks— the family of God.

The priesthood is a vocation, not a career. By all means, do not enter it if you cannot respect the beauty of Church teachings and discipline. Everyone is welcome to hang around, to learn and to try to understand; but it is not a do-it-yourself religion. That’s pop culture, folks.

My Quick Closing Comments

The Catholic Church teaches that homosexuals suffer from a severe sexual disorientation and as such, should neither be ordained nor function as priests. However, everyone should be treated with compassion and justice.

A man can be married to the Church. His love for Jesus and the flock should be all-consuming!

There is my two cents!

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The Devil Dances on the Graves of Priests

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I have this mental image of the devil dancing wildly on the graves of priests? Why is this? Do the eyes of the soul see the true agent behind our many troubles? Within a lifetime we have witnessed a terrible collapse of the Church… almost unbelievable scandal, massive defection, the end of a society with Christian values and a priesthood that has gone from being deeply revered to widely scorned. The character John Adams in the musical 1776 sings, “Is anybody there? Does anybody care? Does anybody see what I see? … Come what may, come what may– Commitment!” Many good priests share such sentiments, albeit for the Church. We will continue to love and care for our people. We will pray for the children who were catechized and forgot us. We will do our duty.

The Rights of the Accused: Innocent Priests

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This is an insightful article that every priest AND BISHOP should read from my old friend Fr. Tom Guarino.

Rolling Stone, Alan Dershowitz and Catholic Priests by Thomas Guarino

The Conspiracy:  An Innocent Priest by Msgr. William McCarthy

Sacrificing Priests on the Altar of Insurance by D. Shaneyfelt & J. Maher

Synod of the Family: Revisionist Proposals, part 2

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Cardinal Christoph Schönborn of Vienna echoes a few points that will no doubt be discussed at the upcoming Synod on the Family.  (No disrespect is intended to this brilliant man who was the secretary that helped assemble the universal catechism.)

A stable gay relationship is “an improvement” over temporary relationships.

This position reminds me of what my old professor taught at CUA many years ago. It was wrongly argued that Fr. Charles Curran supported the promiscuous lifestyle that was lived out by so many homosexuals. In fact, he only argued, (while still wrongly), that the Church should support homosexuals who lived out faithful monogamous relationships. The difficulties I saw were the twofold condemnations from both natural law and divine positive law. There is no Scriptural qualification that same-sex behavior is okay if not promiscuous. Today, no matter what label we might impose upon it, we have no authority to change reality or what actually constitutes marriage. How then is a stable relationship better? Is it better concealed? Does it inhibit the transfer of deadly viruses? Is there a value in how it mimics heterosexual bonds? Spiritually, I am concerned about the forgiveness of sins and saving souls. Given that homosexual acts constitute the matter of mortal sin, is one not damned with either one partner or dozens of partners? Jumping from one ledge to another on a mountainside might make an appropriate analogy. One might miss the ledge by five feet or one inch, but the resulting fall is the same. Where is the improvement?

Sharing a life, “they share their joys and sufferings, they help one another. They took an important step for their own good and the good of others, even though it certainly is an “irregular” situation in the Church’s eyes.

The irregularity is not simply in the eyes of the Church. This makes the situation sound like it can be corrected with the quick change of an ecclesial rule or guideline. The problem is too deep for such a shallow response.

A shared life might precipitate a degree of needed solidarity and intimacy, but is that enough? I remember a college reporting to alumni that they had a very loving and supportive community. However, this did not dispel fears that the school had lost its Catholic identity. The ancient pagans had instances of wonderful comradery and unity; however, this affiliation was not Christian. Are we not facing a similar situation here?

I have known homosexuals who struggled with their sexuality and were discrete about their disorientation. They regularly went to Confession and those with partners tried earnestly to make the walk of faith with their special friend. Sometimes they failed. But they respected the teachings of the Church and loved the Lord. I knew men and women who took care of their beloved friend even as he or she was dying from diseases like AIDs or cancer. They lamented militants spitting the host into the face of churchmen like the late Cardinal O’Connor in New York. They retreated with disgust from vulgar exhibitions in rallies and parades. They were faithful to love while knowing that there was something broken in their attractions and genital life. Many joined Fr. John Harvey’s COURAGE and sought to share love in celibate service to others and in prayer to God. I lament that we seem to pamper those who demand approbation while neglecting these heroic men and women.

While a negative verdict from the Church about homosexual acts remains, “the Church should not look in the bedroom first, but in the dining room! It must accompany people.”

The negative verdict arises from the sources of revelation. How should one surmount a consistent teaching from both the Old and New Testaments that later finds confirmation in two thousand years of Christian tradition? Until recently, homosexual acts were criminalized in many places. This assertion about accompanying people sounds nice, but are we all walking in the same direction? I would not want to go to hell with other sinners just to appease the niceties of toleration and good manners.  Would the good Cardinal make the same argument if we were discussing polygamy and mistresses? What about those who promote promiscuity, prostitution and orgies? What about the practitioners of bestiality, pedophilia and pederasty? No, I suspect then he would want to put his foot down. I am left wondering.  Could it be that some churchmen just do not believe that homosexuality is all that serious a sin? Our Lord’s house or mansion has many rooms; what we do matters in all the rooms of his house!  No one should be excused from the need for contrition and repentance. Do we really want to throw away this vital component to heralding the Gospel and transformation in Christ?

Pastoral accompaniment “cannot transform an irregular situation into a regular one, but there do exist paths for healing, for learning.”

This leaves me befuddled. He says the irregular situation remains but there are “paths for healing, for learning.” What does this mean? How will making them comfortable with error bring them to the truth?  Or is he addressing the Church?  Is the Church supposed to learn that we were mistaken about a basic issue of human sexuality? Is it wrong to expect the homosexual or lesbian to embrace a non-genital way of loving? Are not our ears being bombarded by the same deviant sex advocates who are demanding acceptance and approval, not just toleration? When asked about the issue, Pope Francis responded, “Who am I to judge?” What he meant was that only God can judge the individual soul. However, as the Vicar of Christ, he can affirm (as he did recently) what is viewed as right and wrong by our Lord and his Church. As sinners, we all need to grow in the truth and to experience genuine forgiveness and healing.

9 Posts on Milingo & a Married or Celibate Priesthood

  1. BREAKWAY BISHOPS SEEK SUCCESSION THRU MILINGO!
  2. DEBATE ABOUT MILINGO & MARRIED PRIESTS NOW!
  3. Repudiation of MARRIED PRIESTS NOW!
  4. The Church’s Right to Regulate Her Sacraments
  5. Celibacy, Married Priests & Vocations
  6. More about Married Priests, Celibacy & the Vocation Crisis
  7. ARCHBISHOP MILINGO EXCOMMUNICATED!
  8. ARCHBISHOP MILINGO – SCHISM OVER MARRIED PRIESTS
  9. Finishing Up the Archbishop Milingo/Married Priests Debate

These are links to posts from about nine years ago on married priests, celibacy, vocations and the problem of dissent.

RESPONDING TO DR. MILAN KUCERA

KUCERA: Good Grief, such fanaticism from Roman Catholics, if I ever saw such. Open your eyes! There are several dozen thousand married Eastern Catholic priests in the world and in full unity with the Vatican working just fine.

FATHER JOE: Until recently Eastern rite priests in this hemisphere were supposed to be celibate. But this often broken rule was recently made defunct. I suspect as with Orthodoxy, celibacy will virtually disappear (except for monastics). How this will affect Western discipline, I cannot say. But I am not optimistic. The modern diaspora has brought about a mingling of Catholics from the various rites. Something like two million Latin rite Catholics in the U.S. are related by family ties to Eastern rite believers. It is increasingly asked, if they can have good married priests, then why must ours remain celibate? I would argue that celibacy reflects a closer kinship with the model of Christ and St. Paul. Even the Orthodox churches insist upon celibate bishops, acknowledging the higher value of this charism; Roman Catholicism wants to preserve this for all its priests. Celibacy is a discipline, that is true, but it is a discipline with crucial doctrinal implications.

KUCERA: More than that. Until 11th century Roman Catholic priests were often married. There are even six Popes that were married, successors of St. Peter!

FATHER JOE: It is true that the 11th century saw a significant prohibition against married clergy. However, the Church attempted to make the celibacy rule absolute even in the early days of the faith. The problem was the same as now, priests refused to obey. Further, while faith and morals was protected, the popes were not impeccable when it came to their personal lifestyles. The Spanish Council of Elvira (295-302 AD) mandates celibacy in canon 23 upon the three degrees of holy orders. Prior to this, perfect continence was frequently practiced by married priests.

KUCERA: Hardly anything wrong with that, or you speak hypocrisy. The last married Pope (Clement IV) died in mid-13th century!

FATHER JOE: I live out my priesthood with a celibate love. I am in full juridical union with the Church. You cannot claim the same. Indeed, as a lay person you have cast your fortunes with an illicit UK bishop excommunicated by Christ’s Church. Pope Clement IV only took holy orders after his wife died. He was not a married Pope but one praised for his asceticism.

KUCERA: The founder-bishop of Church in Armenia was a married bishop and a venerated saint, Roman Catholic and Orthodox. He was a married bishop, as the New Testament says it should be.

FATHER JOE: Are you making reference to St. Gregory the Illuminator? If do then note that while he was married, he later separated from her to enter monastic life. This seems to reaffirm the value of celibacy.

KUCERA: How precisely is the Roman Catholic Church keeping the order and very specific instruction of St. Paul in 1 Timothy 3:2, huh? It is not. It actually decides time and again to go against the very express wish of St. Paul.

FATHER JOE: The early Church ordained married men by necessity given its quick expansion and the shortage of single candidates. Certain authorities suggest that these married men practiced perfect continence after ordination. This created a tension that was later eased by restricting candidates to single men who could freely embrace lives of celibate loving. It is a case where the Church discipline was modified. Like women keeping silent or covering their heads, the Church could even modify the stipulations recorded in Scripture.

KUCERA: If a man is a married Catholic and hears the call, who are the shepherds in Vatican to say this man shall not be ordained? Is it their priesthood or what? Are they the source of the sacrament?

FATHER JOE: A vocation must be affirmed by the Church. Who are the shepherds? They are the men appointed by Christ to govern the Church. They have every right to make this determination. Christ cooperates with his Church in dispensing his sacraments. Yes, the sacraments and that includes the priesthood, belong to the Church. St. Francis understood this and his communities only ordained as many priests as they needed. Otherwise, the men remained religious brothers. Priesthood is a gift, not an entitlement. No one can demand it. You reject this view because your own ecclesial community has been deemed illicit, having no juridical standing in the Catholic Church.

KUCERA: Saints Peter and Paul provably and invincibly laid their hands upon married men, ordaining them not only into priesthood but also into episcopacy. Come on! A married man being ordained by the Old Catholic, Polish National Catholic or by an Orthodox bishop is just as much a “catholic” priest and within the One Holy Catholic Apostolic Church as any other one. He serves valid and licit sacraments to his flock; and under the circumstances of Dominus Iesus (Vatican, August 2000) also valid and licit sacraments to Roman and Eastern Catholics.

FATHER JOE: Dominus Iesus still claims a truth you apparently reject: [17] “Therefore, there exists a single Church of Christ, which subsists in the Catholic Church, governed by the Successor of Peter and by the Bishops in communion with him.” You claim a lot from your academic pedigree but then you write things that make me wonder about your overall competency. We do not deny that the early Church ordained married men. But the preference remained a celibate priesthood, particularly in those churches closely aligned with the Holy See. The acceptance of married clergy from Eastern rites was a conciliatory move for the sake of Church unity, not a full affirmation or approval of relaxing the discipline. Old Catholic churches are in union with the Anglicans who have a counterfeit priesthood. Like you, they reject papal authority, and not just about infallibility. Like the Anglicans it has moved toward affirming homosexuality and ordaining women. Women cannot be validly ordained and so any sacred orders they had are now compromised and/or dubious. Catholics are now forbidden from approaching their ministers for sacraments, even in the most dire of situations. The Polish National churches are no longer in ecclesial communion with the Old Catholic churches (largely because of their modern liberality). Concessions for Catholics to receive the Eucharist in certain Orthodox churches would not include those faith communities with women priests.

KUCERA: Really, people, open your eyes and stop trying to usurp the sacraments, they are not yours. Every Christian desiring a sacrament and meeting terms for it should be served such sacrament. That is the universal principle of Ask, and You Shall Receive.

FATHER JOE: Nonsense! The sacraments are expressions of the Church’s identity as the great Sacrament or divine mystery. We encounter Christ through the sacraments in the Church. It is vital that those sacraments be valid. The communities you applaud have illicit and in some cases, invalid sacraments. We cannot have everything we want. The task of the believer is to bend his will to that of Christ and to want what God wants. This demands that we walk in the ways of truth. It is this truth that you wrongly compromise.

KUCERA: One day you will stand before your Father in Heaven and you will see your life run its course on his palm. You will painfully and regretfully note all the moments you refused to serve a sacrament that was not up to you to decide to refuse. Truly, have the cardinals in Vatican forgotten they are mere humble servants of Jesus and are cardinals only from His mercy alone, that they deny the call placed in hearts of many young married men by our Father in Heaven? As He has done for two thousand years?

FATHER JOE: Actually, the sacraments are through the instrumentality of the Church. The Lord instituted the priesthood which includes the order of bishop as its exemplar. However, the role of cardinal or elector is a man-made position for the good governance of the Church. The Church always had “episcopoi” or bishops; she did not always have cardinals. There is a universal call to salvation, not to priesthood. There is sufficient freedom in the choice either to get ordained a priest or to get married. God will give couples the grace to be helpmates. God will give the grace to priests to embrace a celibate love. The Church is working with God, not against him. The dissent is yours. You insist that married men must be allowed to be priests or else! You are willing to sever yourself from his true Church so that you can have your way. That is what I perceive as regrettable.

KUCERA: The Church is holy, the men who lead her quite often obviously far from it. I wish there is a huge and steady wave of transfer from Roman Catholic Church to Eastern Catholic Churches and as many ordinations into priesthood of married men in Eastern Rite as possible. I have this in my constant prayers. –Dr. Milan Kucera, ex-novice and married Roman Catholic layman in good standing.

FATHER JOE:

What you leave us with is a curse against the Church instituted by Christ. Concessions toward the Orthodox churches could not be granted to the others you espouse. And yet, even they have separated themselves from the See of Peter. You personally walked away from the religious life and got married. That is your business. But speaking out against Catholic unity is sinful. You will have to account to God for this.

Despite your online attestation, the Catholic Church does not recognize the peculiar David Bell as one of her bishops and his “church” is in schism. This means that his ordinations are also not recognized. Thus, his Roman Catholic Society of Pope Leo XIII and the Igreja Católica Apostólica Brasileira are schismatic communities that have no status whatsoever in the Catholic Church.

Nuncio D’Aniello wrote the following to Cardinal Damasceno on October 8, 2012:

“The Pope Leo XIII community is schismatic and as such cannot receive official recognition from the Catholic Church. Furthermore, bishops ordained in that community cannot carry out a ministry in the Catholic Church as it does not recognize these ordinations. All organizations or associations linked to that society should be treated as one would treat any non-Catholic institution. Having committed the crime of creating a schism, those “ordained” by him will in turn be committing the same crime, incurring a latae sententiae excommunication.”

Letter to the Editor: Celibacy is Misunderstood & a Handy Scapegoat

Letter to the Editor
The Catholic Standard, October 25, 1990

It’s interesting to note that whenever there is a lament about the lack of vocations to the priesthood or when a priest falls from grace (there but for the grace of God…) the cause is attributed to celibacy. The subtle meaning given to celibacy is that it is a negative promise not to do something.

On the contrary, celibacy is a gift, God’s invitation to give oneself as much as possible to God and His work by sacrificing some joys of married life to which God invites others.

But if celibacy is the solution to the problems, a recent study and book by Lloyd Rediger, who is an experienced Presbyterian minister and counselor for 19years, should give pause to the one with the quick solution to the problem.

Focusing on Protestant clergy who are married, he notes that 75 percent of them function “well”; 10 percent of the clergy are guilty of misconduct; 15 percent are on the verge – this, for various reasons: lack of discipline, theology in disarray and the milieu of society in which they have to work.

It is also estimated that between 10 percent and 12 percent of the caring professions, medicine, social work, psychology, etc., are guilty of sexual misconduct.

Deplorably, anywhere from 50 percent to 54 percent of marriages today end in divorce despite all our efforts, and 84 percent of second-time-around marriages are failures. I know of one seminary head who is dealing with 60 priests who thought that attempted marriage was the answer for them but now wish to return to the priestly ministry.
Please pray for vocations and for those who are asked to make the sacrifice it takes to answer the Lord’s call.

 Msgr. William J. Awalt
Pastor, St. Ann’s Parish
Washington

Counseling for Catholic Marriages

Catholics with marital problems should have readily available avenues within the Church for professional counseling in the hopes of salvaging their marriages.

More can be done to prepare priests for this kind of work but I think there is also a need for full-time professionals with training in psychology and intervention-counseling. These counselors should be well-versed with the Catholic faith. If they are not on the same page with us about human sexuality and the value of marriage, then they can escalate a problem instead of being part of the solution.

  • When red lights appear in the Pre-Cana preparation, referrals can be made before marriages in the Church.
  • When problems develop within marriages, referrals can be made to facilitate healing or reconciliation.
  • When questions arise about sexual identity and remaining in good standing with the Church, referrals might be made to assist people in coping and to counteract bias from non-Catholic sources.

While there are good independent counselors who charge fees, I would also recommend that there be professionals hired directly by the Church. Their salaries might be shared between parishes as within deaneries. They would work closely with pastors, while preserving confidentiality, to either prevent bad marriages or to salvage troubled ones. Such staffing should be viewed as serious as religious education directors, office managers and bookkeepers. In any case, a public list of counselors vetted by the Archdiocese should be readily available to pastors and the people they serve.

Catholic marriage counseling is necessarily different from that which is offered by those who do not share our understanding of marriage or our views about human sexuality. These counselors need to discern how a troubled Catholic marriage might be fixed. The truths of faith are integrated into our appreciation of psychology. The goal is to have couples living a daily vocation where there is both joy and sacrificial love. Marriage is viewed as a covenant and as a permanent union. Too many quickly jump to divorce as the answer. Catholics should see that as an option generally taken off the table.

Instead of urging an immediate divorce, a separation might be promoted so as to further the conversation or to prevent verbal and/or physical abuse. If a marriage has terminal problems and cannot be salvaged, then the counselor might suggest an annulment. That is where the pastor and/or the officials on a Church Tribunal would enter the picture. However, this is inherently always a sad or tragic situation. It means that avenues to save a marriage have failed.

Right now we have noble efforts like Retrouvaille but there is a pressing need for something more clinical.