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NEW MESSAGES/HOMILIES CHRISTIAN REFLECTIONS DEFENDING THE FAITH
Given the deserved nationwide concern about Coronavirus, I am surprised no one has asked about the issue of going to Mass with the congregations. What do you say?
Can priests see people’s souls? Or have a general idea what is going on with that person’s soul just by looking at them?
If a woman requests an appointment for spiritual counseling with a priest, do priests assume the woman is there to temp them or is stepping outside her marriage?
Thank you Nick!
Dear Jeff,
I have been in a similar situation to you and so I felt I should reply to your question.
Apart from being against the constant teaching of the Church, using contraception would be no guarantee that your wife would not get pregnant. As I’m sure you know, all forms of contraception have a failure rate (which can be found online). Using NFP actually has a lower failure rate than some forms of contraception (though it may be harder for you and your wife to use because of the irregularity of periods in pre-menopause and, perhaps, your wife’s condition). Even without NFP, your wife’s age makes her chance of getting pregnant less than 1% (i.e. as effective as any contraception in a younger woman). Again you can find this information online.
Unless your wife opts for the surgery, the only 100% effective way of ensuring your wife doesn’t get pregnant is, as Fr. Joe said, the heroic option of complete abstinence. However, you may find that through prayerful consideration with your wife (and, perhaps, your priest and/or doctor) you decide that using NFP combined with your wife’s age will make the chances of her getting pregnant so low that it is worth taking the risk of continuing with your sexual relations. I’m sure it is all in God’s hands and he will guide you to make the right decision if you give it all to Him. May our Lady and St. Joseph intercede for you.
I will pray for your situation.
God bless,
Nick
Thank you.
Thank you Father. I should have been more specific. My wife has a benign fibroid tumer in her uterus. It is large but she does not have terrible symptoms. It would be problematic if she were to get pregnant. She is 50 years old and is hoping that in menopause she will see some reduction in the size as is common. So she has relied on prayer and natural things such as diet right now. Her doctor said there is no pressing need for sugery. Surgery would be a hystorectomy and that is a major surgery and it has some negative effects that come with it. This is the reason she has been postponing any surgical remedy. We do have a strong, loving and faith-filled marriage of 32 years. We have not been able to get good direction with this situation. I reach out to you because I respect your guidance.
Thanks a bunch……Jeff
I was raised Roman Catholic but converted to Judaism. My question is: is it possible to become a Catholic again?
Fr. Joe,
I need some help. My wife has a cantelope sized tumor in her uterrus and is dealing with it through prayer and natural means as to void major surgery. It would be a serious problem if she were to become pregnant right now. In this situation would the church say no to contraception? There are to many issues with this condition to make NFP a safe option. So the alternative would be abstenace.
During the current Coronavirus situation, the pastor at mass said that we should not be shaking hands at the Sign of Peace. Along the same lines, if a person has symptoms of the flu or Coronavirus they should stay home and would be excused from mass. I totally understand.
It was reported on CNN yesterday that two top infectious disease experts with ties to the federal government have advised people over 60 and those with underlying health problems to strongly consider avoiding activities that involve large crowds.
I’m elderly, with underlying medical conditions causing a weakened immune system with a higher risk of being contagious. It’s not always possible to attend mass without others being seated very close.
I’m trying my best not to catch this virus.
Hi, Father. When I was 16-18, I’ve done something for years that I’ve been constantly regretting and wishing i have never done. Between those years, I’ve been lusting and under the influence of pornography, it feels like I was a space to it. I knew almost everyday I was sinning against God but yet I continued on doing it for my pleasure. Today, I regret all I have done after I started going back to God. I really regret what I did and I’ve stopped being under its influence for a while now & it’s been such a difficult challenge but I pray to God to forgive me and give me strength to free me from sinning. I know that I have sinned so much and I do not deserve God’s forgiveness for all the constant sin and bad things I have done. I’ve been having intense anxiety knowing that God might be mad at me and that the constant sin I’ve done is unforgivable. I’m scared and it’s affecting my mental health because I’m afraid that I will one day go to Hell for the rest of my life just because of mg actions & hormones when I was 16-18. Will God forgive me and accept me besides the fact that I’ve done something against him over?
Hi Father!
I am observing and teaching a little at a Catholic high school and the teacher whose classroom I am in was saying to the students in one class that it is only a sin to go to fortune tellers if you believe it, and that the fortune tellers are only sinning if they believe it. Later on in the day, we had the same class again in another period and I was sitting in the back and the teacher asked the class if they thought fortune telling was a sin and then she kind of put me on the spot and wanted me to tell the class that it was only a sin if you believe in that stuff, so I kinda just said that. But in my mind I disagreed because it’s a sin to go to fortune tellers and horoscopes even if you don’t believe in it right? I think I committed scandal and now I don’t know what to do. Am I obligated to correct the teacher and somehow tell the class on Monday that she was wrong? I’m not the one teaching that class yet so I’m not sure how that would work. I will start teaching that class soon though so should I bring up the subject of fortune telling (we are reading Dante’s Inferno) later on when I am teaching and correct my co-op teacher? Thank you for your help and advice. Oh also, after I said the thing about fortune telling, that teacher said she used to do ouijaa boards when she was young and that it wasn’t a big deal because that stuff is stupid/not real. And now I just hope the students don’t think that I agree with that because I don’t. I’m just not sure if I committed a mortal sin when I told the kids that fortune telling is only a sin when you belileve it (but again, the teacher kind of put me on the spot and wanted me to just tell the kids what she had taught in the previous class)
I am curious to know whether my mom coercing or forcing me into a medical procedure when I was already the age of majority is a sin. Several year ago, my mom and a physician’s assistant either coerced or forced me into having several skin biopsies and a skin excision done. This was because the physician’s assistant suspected pre-melanoma. I was already an adult, which means the medical decision was up to me. Although I wanted to avoid these procedures and suggested to see a different practitioner for a second opinion, my mom wanted the procedures done at the place she wanted and as soon as possible. What my mom and the physician’s assistant did was illegal.
I have been suicidal since the surgeries, and the pain from the scars has been incredibly difficulty for me to live with. Over a year later, my mom and I saw a surgical oncologist who said that no moles at the time of our visit with him necessarily needed biopsies.
Yesterday I saw a different physician’s assistant who offers a non-invasive skin biopsy technology called DermTech. He told me that my skin looked perfectly fine and that I did not need any biopsies at that visit. He has asked for past records at my former dermatology office. From my understanding, once he receives them, he will tell me any further findings about my past biopsies. Subjectively, he told me that from my office visit that my past skin procedures were likely unnecessary. However, these claims cannot be better verified until he looks over my past dermatology records. He said that pre-melanoma can often be misdiagnosed as a harmless form of dysplastic nevi. He shared that any dysplastic nevi he had seen on me were common for someone my age. If a medical professional were to find any suspicious moles, then I would try the non-invasive DermTech option.
Was my mom’s breaking a medical law a sin considering I was forced to have the procedures when it was legally my choice to make? I wanted to seek any alternative treatments while she did not at the time. The medical coercion or force is connected to my suicidal thoughts. Diagnosing any skin cancer has been a very gray area for me. The physician’s assistant I saw yesterday told me in his own words that there can be negative positives and that the training for the lab technicians analyzing the biopsies can vary. What are your thoughts on this matter? Even though my mom said she did what she did was out of love, there were other was potential for other options. She just did not want to take the time.
Although my mom now appreciates a new perspective with yesterday’s physician’s assistant, she said she would still rather undergo surgeries to prevent any chance of a potential cancer from evolving. I respect her decision for herself. As for myself, I would rather try the non-invasive DermTech tape biopsies to avoid any unnecessary scarring that could contribute to my suicidal ideation.
Father Joe,
I was listening to Fr Casey Cole on YouTube. He was talking about confession and said he has never heard anyone confess being troubled because they have too much money.
My husband and I are well off. We are both pharmacists. I work part time. We give heavily to the church and other charities, but we have a decent sized savings account. We use it to pay for stuff for the house so we don’t have to pay interest on a loan, such as the new roof we just had installed. It was also there in case of a tornado or other disaster, or a medical disaster such as a stroke, cancer, etc. We weren’t hoarding money, at least not in my view.
Is having such an account considered sinful?
Also, we recently dug into it to pay for a professional interventionalist to get my brother to agree to go to rehab. I don’t begrudge it. However, he has now left rehab against advice and if we need these people again their services come at a rate of $1500/day plus travel expenses. This could quickly become a bottomless pit.
Admittedly I have struggled with not worrying about it. I am in need of a hip replacement. My hours are about to be cut back at work. Neither of those things will make us destitute, but how am I to know when to say no for further expenses? Jesus wants us to give freely without asking for repayment, but am I to just keep handing out money?
My sister is on unemployment. She hasn’t asked for any money, but when my parents, to whom she is $30K in debt die, who is going to help her? And I hate to say this, but I don’t want to be the next person expected to pick her up out of another hole. She is notorious for bad decisions and poor spending habits.
God has blessed us with a good living. But we are both over 50 and need to be thinking about retirement, etc. We are going to need a new car soon. The heat pump is almost 10 years old.
How far do we take this “give generously” and “the money in your vault belongs to the poor”? Do I have to give it all away in order to be just? Then if the house blows away or my husband has a stroke I rely on the government? I’m not being snarky, I really want to know. Because I am trying to turn my life to God, but some things just don’t sound very smart. However, I don’t want to “smart” my way into Hell. It is worth noting that this is not just MY money. It is my husband’s, too.
Thank you for reading this super long mess, I hope you can make some sense out of it.
I am a practicing Catholic and even spent 6 years in the Seminary before realizing I did not have a call to a Priestly Vocation. After leaving the Seminary I spent many years away from the Church and during this time got married to my non-practicing jewish wife in a Civil Ceremony. I love here dearly and have been married to her for 26 years. We never had any biological children and she has always been supportive of my Catholic beliefs. During the last couple years I have been regularly attending Mass and confession, My wife is now disabled and is in need of my care and support. I have had people tell me that our relationship is sinful as she is not Catholic and we were married in a civil ceremony and I struggle with comments made by people thinking that I should throw a 26 year relationship out the window. Though she has no desire to become Catholic or be married in a Catholic Wedding, I can’t bring myself to walk away at this point in our lives.