The vocation of priesthood is not like other occupations. Many people have jobs to put food on the table and a roof over their heads, but their employment does not define them. The priestly ministry, on the other hand, quantifies the man called to holy orders. It is for this reason that I always thought the current practice of having pastors retire was rather peculiar. One does not quit from priestly work. Even the infirmed clergyman in a hospital bed prays for the Church and may offer private Mass for the salvation of souls. Retired priests often still live in rectories and work in parishes. The priest literally works until he drops. The Church assures us that the mark or character distinguishing a man as a priest is also taken into the life to come. He is a priest, forever.
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There are friends and then there are friends. What do I mean? The fair weather friend hangs near when days are happy and life is easy; but when troubles come and life is hard, he or she is nowhere to be found. Look at how Christ’s apostles ran away and Peter denied him. Fortunately, they would know remorse and the spirit of the Risen Christ would heal their betrayal and give them courage in the days ahead to follow in his footsteps, even embracing exile and martyrdom. What kind of friend are we to others and to Jesus? Are we a Christian only when it is convenient? Do we make sacrifices for others and to witness the truth of the Gospel? Some collect and deliver clothing and food to the poor. Believers work in soup kitchens and shelters. They visit the sick and elderly in hospitals, nursing homes and among the shut-ins. They tutor young people and assist with those having learning challenges. They volunteer for the Special Olympics and summer camps for the physically challenged. They march for the unborn. They try to make a difference.
When I look at the depth of Catholic faith, I wonder why anyone would ever look anywhere else. Everything we need for spiritual meaning and salvation is here. Nevertheless, some inquirers dismiss the Church and others walk away. Speaking for myself, I would not want to forfeit the Eucharistic sacrifice or presence for anything. Why is it then that so many abandon or refuse to come home to the Catholic Church? I think the answer has to do with people wanting to feel wanted and the consolation that comes with close fellowship and the acceptance of others. Catholicism is a ritualistic church. Like the Jews before us, we have our traditions, priesthood, cultic oblation, and authority. We have formulas for everything. We dip our fingers into the water fount, we genuflect, we sit quietly, we cross ourselves, we pound our chests, we touch our foreheads, lips and hearts, we say, “Amen,” “And with your Spirit,” and offer a hand with the words, “Peace be with you.” There is no unnecessary talking in church. We do our duty, try not to snore during the homily, are careful not to drop the wafer and then head out the door. The first one to get to his or her car and start the engine wins. At least, this is what we imply by our mad race to the door.
The demonic will lie to us, offering a feigned friendship and understanding. Evil is all about seduction, not about well-being and advancement. What is the darkness really saying behind the duplicity and rhetoric?
Going back to our childhood, there were people to whom we looked up. Our heroes inspired and move us. We hoped to be like them. We trusted them and they had a significant impact upon our lives. Unfortunately, heroes also frequently fall from the pedestals upon which we place them. Indeed, we often exaggerate their qualities and achievements, making their falls from grace all the more devastating. The truth is not always well served in hero worship. Men and women are bound to fail us. A boy might think that his father is the strongest man in the world; as he grows up, he is forced to realize that even the best of fathers are still mortal men dealing with sinfulness and weakness. The same can be said about our spiritual fathers or priests. It is only Christ who will never fail us.
Years ago I knew a young man who battled drugs and alcohol. After getting into some trouble and a car accident, he entered a treatment program. He met a nice girl and he seemed to vastly improve. However, he had merely transferred his dependency from dangerous substances to her. An immature personality, he was unable to postpone the objects of his desires and pleasures. He could not save money and moved too quickly with the romantic relationship. Within short order they were having sexual intimacy and he was urging her to cohabitate with him. The girl became increasingly resentful of his dependence upon her and lack of self- control. While she was fond of him, it was questionable what he brought to the table of their relationship. Everything revolved around what he wanted and his needs. He isolated her from family and friends, being intensely jealous. His possessiveness was threatening to suffocate her. They became engaged and she was at odds as to what to do. She felt responsible for him. His relationship with her had become his chief source of security and what gave his life meaning. His sense of being grounded was attached to her and he acted as if he owned her, sometimes speaking and acting violently when he did not get his way. She tried to bear the situation but matters grew worse. Every time things seemed to get better there would be a relapse. His immediate family and friends would take his side and became enablers for his irresponsibility and problems. They regarded his girlfriend as a means to keep him in check, regardless of what it might personally cost the young woman. When she tried to exert herself, he would become moody and depressed. Eventually matters reached a breaking point and she terminated the engagement. It was probably the most loving thing she could do. He was not ready for what they might have together. He had to face his issues instead of using their relationship to compensate for them.
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