Blogger Priest

Question

Last night I went with a few friends for my roommate’s birthday. When we were all coming back, my good friend (a girl) wanted to spend the night and sleep with my roommate. They have been doing this for some time. She did not know how to approach him and so she asked me what she should do. Knowing that what they would do would be an immoral act, I wanted to directly respond but fear got the better of me.

She asked if she should directly inquire of his interest or whether she should just come upstairs in the hopes that he would get the hint. I really did not know what to do. She is a good friend and so I did not want to tell her no; so I told her just to come upstairs.

Now, I feel at fault because I helped to facilitate an immoral act. This is causing me much anxiety. Am I in a state of moral sin? Should I go to confession for this?

Response

Collaboration in sin can be mortally serious.  I cannot give an exact answer in this case. If there is any complicity in their sin, it seems rather remote and thus I would suspect that the matter for you is venial. Your friends are of age and their culpability is weightier. Could you have done better? Yes, most certainly you could have. Friends should be able to speak frankly about their values. If there is mutual respect then this should not be a major issue. Let them know that you love them and that you appreciate that they are old enough to make their own decisions. But do not be afraid to share your values about chastity, the essential link between sexual congress and marriage, and the dignity of persons. Do not hide your Christianity.

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