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QUESTIONS & ANSWERS

68 Responses

1. 

   Rena, on January 18, 2016 at 4:19 pm said:

   Hi Father, a colleague I’m really fond of at work is going to enlist in the army soon. Before he leaves I would like to get him a gift, and I also worry for his safety. He’s a free thinker, would it be alright to get like, perhaps a small cross or something he could keep with him? There are supernatural occurrences in the jungles and I do wish for him to be protected. I would like to introduce him to Jesus too but idk how I can without appearing annoying as I’m not that close to him. If I get him a little cross or smth from the church bookstore, do I get a priest to bless it? I am not sure if he would take care of the item and so I am kind of hesitant on blessing the item. What should I do? I am from Singapore btw.

   FATHER JOE: Giving him a blessed item would be fine. There is no guarantee what might happen to the sacramental, but in a crisis it might spur faith or give comfort. That sounds like it would be worth the risk.
2. 

   Mary flanagan, on October 21, 2015 at 12:04 am said:

   ia there a minimum number of people required to celebrate benediction?
   Thank you
   Mary

   FATHER JOE: There should be at least two.
3. 

   Randall, on October 1, 2015 at 2:21 am said:

   I am curious, what kind of wine is used during Mass? Is it a particular kind of wine, or whatever the priests can get at the store?

   FATHER JOE: Because of a concern about additives, most churches order approved sacramental wines. They come in red and white… I prefer white. But it is essentially (just) wine with a moderate or low alcohol content. There are a number of different vendors.
4. 

   Louise, on September 16, 2015 at 4:18 pm said:

   My question for you is, of course, complicated, and involves marriage. My husband and I were not Catholic (either of us) at the time that we married in the Protestant church I was raised in. I, however, was baptized, and he was not (but was baptized in the same church 3 years later). Fast forward 15 years and 3 children later, and I converted to Catholicism; a year later he followed. It’s now been 2 years since my conversion, and I have finally be able to admit to myself and our priest that I have endured (and continue to endure) years of physical and emotional abuse. I’m doing all that I can to keep hope that we will heal, but it’s waning. My question is, if it were come to the point of divorce and subsequent annulment, would his being unbaptized at the time we were married qualify the marriage as invalid?

   FATHER JOE: Because you were both non-Catholics, your marriage was recognized by the Church from the very start. Marriage to a person not baptized is regarded as a NATURAL BOND. When your husband was baptized, that bond immediately became a SACRAMENT. I cannot speak to the question of an annulment. All I can say is that your marriage is presumed to be a sacrament and binding… both valid and licit.
5. 

   Cory, on July 23, 2015 at 7:28 pm said:

   I am Catholic and my dream and calling has always been to become a priest. However, I was married and had children, I did receive annulment because my wife had an affair. Is it still possible for me to fillow my calling? Thank you in advance for any help.

   Cory

   FATHER JOE: I hear that some bishops will and others will not accept such men. You have to call around and find out. You may have to relocate. Other issues would be your health and age. Certain dioceses have age limits.
6. 

   Daniel, on July 18, 2015 at 7:02 am said:

   Had a question for a Jesuit priest if you could help me, thank you.

   FATHER JOE: I am not a Jesuit.
7. 

   Elaine, on June 29, 2015 at 5:35 pm said:

   The families of the 9 people recently killed in the South Carolina church chose to “forgive” the racist killer. What does the bible teach about forgiving someone whom has not sought forgiveness or someone whom has not repented? How can I forgive someone for what they did to hurt you? What does the church teach about such a “compassionate’ response?

   FATHER JOE: It is the imitation of Christ. Mercy takes the initiative. Jesus forgave us from the Cross while we were still in our sins. Forgiveness often precipitates conversion.
8. 

   Jenn, on May 6, 2015 at 2:07 am said:

   Father,

   May one simply wear a Miraculous Medal, or does it have to be blessed/the person enrolled first? What about the brown scapular? I have heard so many conflicting things about both–that one must go through an enrollment process with a priest to wear it, or the complete opposite: that such a process is unnecessary to obtain the graces associated with each.

   Any clarification you could give would be wonderful!

   Thank you and God bless you!

   FATHER JOE: Sacramentals should be blessed. However, after such blessings they may not be sold… only personally used or given away. One does not have to be inducted or enrolled to have the Miraculous Medal or to say the accompanying Novena. However, one should be enrolled into the Confraternity of Our Lady of Mount Carmel so as to wear the Brown Scapular. After a one-time enrollment, it need not be repeated. When the original scapular wears out, simply get a new one. It can be blessed by a priest.
9. 

   T, on January 31, 2015 at 1:29 pm said:

   I have a huge mess for you… Sorry this is so long:
   I have never been married, and I was not raised in a church. I have 2 children out of wedlock. I do the best I can with them, and I work very hard to support them. Last May I met a man at work that told me his wife had cheated on him and he was moving on. We started dating and I fell in love with him very quickly. He was raised catholic. He has 2 children also. We loved each other’s children and took parts in all of their lives. Several months later, he wished to end the marriage and get it annulled due to her infidelity. I prepared my home for him and his 2 children and made them space for them all in my house. He asked me to get my IUD removed so that we could start having our own children. I complied, and I was pregnant shortly after. Everything was going as he had promised, and I had never been happier in my life. Then, he left a note on my kitchen table. It said “I promised for better or worse and this is my only way not to burn in hell for eternity.” He left me to go back to his wife. He said the only support he can provide to our child is monetary. I know that this is not what he wants, and I believe his parents are forcing him to do this. However, I do not know how the Catholic Church works. Is it okay to abandon a child and only pay money? Does he have to be in his damaged marriage the rest of his life? I understand this is a huge disaster, and believe me, I have a lot of regret. I am just curious how the catholic church would handle such a situation.

   FATHER JOE:

   If I read you correctly, your question is how does the Catholic Church see the situation?

   First, the more one is given the more one is held accountable. Thus the greater guilt and blame about this situation rests with the man who entered your life. He was a Christian and should have known better. Public morals and social stigma are not what they once were and so do little today to inhibit what the two of you did.

   Second, the Church believes that sexual congress must always be between a man and woman who are bonded to each other in marriage. She frowns upon people having children outside wedlock; however, once conceived the Church urges us to preserve the life of the innocent child so that he or she might be born and have a life visibly among us. You entered this relationship with two children of your own. You were struggling to be a good mother to them. Accepting this responsibility was noble and wonderful. There was also a charity in your heart for wanting to make space in your life and home for this man and his children. Love makes it easier to make such sacrifices. However, the problem remains, this man was not your husband. You had once again entered into an intimate relationship outside of marriage. The Church teaches we should not do this. It leaves the woman with a heightened vulnerability, especially for abandonment.

   Third, this man was another woman’s husband. It does not matter about the state of their relationship. He was not free to love you as he did. He had verbally pledged himself to another woman, until death should they part. Even had he divorced, an annulment would be required (and nullity was not certain) prior to a new relationship. This means that his relationship with you was adulterous.

   Had you ever talked with his wife? He said his wife cheated on him, but was he the only source for this revelation? Could you be sure it was the case? No matter, this would not excuse his infidelity with you. You loved him but you had no right to love him. Men (and women) can also be deceptive, about prior love interests and about what they currently feel. Infidelity, in itself, would not have been grounds for an annulment. Annulments rely upon a certain pre-condition or something that would have undermined either the vows or a person’s ability to satisfy the commitment.

   Fourth, the Church frowns upon contraceptive intercourse and the IUD is inherently abortifacient. Of course, the Church also spurns the sins of “fornication” and “adultery.” You had hopes that it would all be made right. But his letter on the kitchen table put an end to that. He used you to get back at his wife. A man who betrays one woman can just as easily betray another. He was a coward for leaving a note and not talking to you face-to-face. He has gone back to his wife and she may rightly insist that there be no further relationship with you. He says he is doing it to avoid hell, but the truth is probably that he still loves her. Unfortunately, you and your family are the casualties. He has a legal obligation to assist financially the child he fathered. I would argue a moral obligation to love that child but you will be powerless to enforce that. I am so sorry. But you have a beautiful third child and I trust you will not fault the child for the hardness of heart of the father. He is a grown man. His parents could not make him do anything he did not want to do. Damaged marriages can be healed and that is apparently what is happening here. The Church would prefer that he and his wife reconcile and be faithful to each other. No divorce or annulment was ever procured. That should have set off warning bells.

   Do not make excuses for him. There is no more you can do about it. You will have to live without him. I pray that you will find a genuine love that will bring you hope and healing in your life. He was not the one. I will keep you in my prayers. You may not have a church but you could still see a priest who would pray with you and maybe give you a shoulder to cry upon. Life is messy. We make mistakes. We sin. We get afraid and angry. We are betrayed and hurt. We desperately want love and sometimes we look for it in the wrong places. I hope you find what you and your children need.

   You may not know him too well, but God loves you. You and your children are not forgotten. Father Joe
10. 

    Lea, on November 2, 2014 at 1:36 pm said:

    The authorities have never been contacted, as the victim refuses to press charges. The matriarch of the family, my mother-in-law, preaches we are one family, and family sticks together no matter what. She will not turn her back on her son-in-law mostly because he is married to her oldest daughter, and they are extremely close. I’ve been thinking the lack of support I was getting from the rest of the family might mean I was over reacting some how. I questioned my self over and over. I knew by not coming around family functions, my husband will loose all his family. He will be the bad one because he can’t forgive. It’s all very strange.
    Thank you so much Father you have reinforced my thoughts. There is a lot of work yet to be done, but I will continual my refusal to go to gatherings. Thank you so much.
11. 

    Lea, on November 2, 2014 at 4:18 am said:

    Forgiveness help! So sorry for the long back story… We are all practicing Catholics.
    Two years ago My husband’s 32 year old sister told the entire family that their oldest sister’s husband, now in his 50’s, had a year long sexual relationship with her when she was 14, which he admitted to. At the time of the relationship he was 34 and had not yet married their sister. My in-laws decided that the man just made a mistake and we must forgive. Now My 32 year old sister-in-law has been spiraling out of control with affairs, going from one sexually dysfunctional relationship to another as well as abusing alochole. Because of the family’s “no big deal” attitude he remains apart of all family gatherings and because of her reckless behavior over the past two years the family considers her loose and probably initiated the affair so it was probably her fault
    I Consider what he did as child molestion. She confided in me ugly details no one else knows about. He willfully initiated sex with a 14 year old girl.
    I have 3 daughters ages 12,10, &8 and a son that is 5. For the past 2 years My husband and I have refused to attend any family gathering if he was there for the protection of our children. My in-laws are very upset. Because all 6 other siblings still attend gatherings, this has caused a lot of conflict. It’s especially hard because even the victim still comes and brings her children when her molester is there. I can’t wrap my head around that. My mother in-law told my husband that Jesus would want me to forgive. My question: I know I must forgive, but Would Jesus want me to attend family gatherings where this man is present for the sake of making peace with the family? Is it breaking the commandment honer thy mother an father even though it puts a child molester in my children’s life? Is that the only way to truly forgive?

    FATHER JOE: No where in the story is there any attestation that he has asked for forgiveness. Your chief responsibility is to protect your children. No matter how much time has passed, this man purportedly molested a child. He needs both treatment and punishment. Were the authorities ever contacted? You were told the story but the allegations need to be given to the police. Certain jurisdictions do not have time restrictions on such crimes. Indeed, failure to report can also lead to others being prosecuted. Forgiveness is not the real issue here. He deserves punishment.
12. 

    rodriguez, on October 12, 2014 at 2:01 pm said:

    is liturgical correct to play during the homily after Gospel recorded message from bishop re: money;what is going in the diocese of Paterson, NJ is scandal !!! we did not finished campaign,. and bishop serratelli is doing again appeal in very pushing way.. he prep. special instruction for priests how to read and when his letter , but should not be this after communion ?
    gracias ! Mauricio Rodriguez St.Margaret Parish

    FATHER JOE: The same is done here in the Archdiocese of Washington for the Cardinal’s Appeal.
13. 

    Dillan D., on July 29, 2014 at 9:29 pm said:

    Father,

    What is the Church’s teaching when it comes to chronic pain? Does The Church have any specific suggestion? Also, does The Church endorse the view that bodily pain can be a manifestation of sin? For example, a man who lies a lot will get some kind of mouth ailment. Or a man who lusts will experience pain in his loins?

    FATHER JOE: It is okay to take pain killers. Indeed, it is noble to seek the relief of pain in others. When pain cannot be dismissed, we take up our crosses and join our sufferings to the passion of Jesus. While suffering and death are a consequence of original sin; the Church does not associate pain or bodily ailments with personal sins.
14. 

    Gabriel, on July 24, 2014 at 5:26 am said:

    Where does one start? I’m a cradle Catholic. I’m 28 years old and have dealt with impurity since about 12. Though I was raised right and attended a Catholic school I didn’t really grab a hold of my faith until about 21. By then my addiction to impurity was in full force. By the grace of God I made it through a very dark night of the soul. Though I developed an anxiety disorder from my conversion I managed to make it through and change many things about my life. However, after countless confessions and prayers I am still struggling with impurities. Though my actions may say otherwise, I feel that I love my faith very much. I have no issues with the church and I truly wish to make God happy. My confessor has given me advice and penance and I will act upon those. But, honestly I feel hopeless. More than that I feel afraid. I know that temptation won’t magically disappear after confession but it feels like I’m completely helpless. All I can imagine is the disappointment that I cause God. I pray the Rosary with my family. I pray the chaplet often. Nothing seems to help. I know my sins are my fault….I just don’t know what to do. I’m afraid I’ll never get it right.

    FATHER JOE: There are certain sins that may plague people for much of their lives. Weakness of the flesh, compounded by addiction, is typical of such struggles for Christian men. We also live in a world that is saturated with the erotic, making the proper custody of the eyes virtually impossible. The energy of youth does not make matters any easier. St. Paul said that for most men it was better that they marry than burn (see 1 Corinthians 7:9). Culpability is diminished by passion and bad habits. Continue to bring your sins to your Confessor. Do not despair. Saints are not made over night. Your temptations seem more from human weakness than malice. God understands your struggle but do not become complacent. Say your prayers, ask for grace or help, avoid the near occasions of sin and do the best you can. When you fall short, remember that God loves you and he is not finished with you yet.
15. 

    Rb, on April 6, 2014 at 8:03 am said:

    Fr Joe, does one have to be pure to become a priest? What if one is struggling with impure acts? Can one respond to a call if one is struggling with it and goes to Confession?

    FATHER JOE: One has to pledge celibacy as a priest. Men often struggle with elements of sexuality, but by God’s grace, should work toward self-control. Certainly the sacrament of Penance is there to help with God’s mercy. If you are a young man, I would suggest that you give yourself time and patience. If you feel called, the formation will take eight or more years. That is a lot of time to work on such issues and to grow in the faith. Speak to your parish priest about it. Many prayers.
16. 

    Bob, on February 25, 2014 at 5:48 pm said:

    Fr. Joe: I live in a predominate neighborhood of Mormons, nice people yet they consistently bring up the great apostasy of the Catholic Church. What I gather is the Mormons feel the Catholic Church became corrupt during the schism of the Eastern Church and Rome plus claim some woman claimed the Papacy, where they got that idea is beyond me. My latest encounter was about creation and the sin of man. this Mormon quoted the book of Moses. I said; you mean geniuses, he says same book but joseph Smith change some words for clarity. So, I used the internet for the book of Moses, their bible, not the book of Mormon. compared them to the confraternity version the American standard and the king James version.

    Now I consider myself a reasonable man, but I was swearing under my breath, that in the story of creation this Mormon claims that the earth was created first in spirit and the in physical form and God has a spiritual wife, not our Blessed Mother. How do I defend my faith with this kind of false teaching to use a word from their bible ; I “speaketh” the truth.
    Thanks Father for your input.

    FATHER JOE:

    Obviously the Mormons feel that they are in possession of the truth. While some of their religious leaders associate the great apostasy and the “abominable church” with Roman Catholicism, this is not an identification made in the Book of Mormon. The business about a woman pope is a popular fiction that was circulated by anti-Catholics of over a century or more ago. It is a claim from bigotry and ignorance; but likewise, it does not reflect the teaching of the Latter Day Saints. Since Mormonism is not a creedal religion, and they subscribe to progressive revelation, it is hard to pin down what they actually believe. Older works are suppressed and even the wording in their faith documents are tweaked and changed… although subtlety to avoid conflict. Due to an apparent polytheism, we generally do not recognize Mormonism as a Christian religion. However, individual believers and certain churchmen are increasingly moving toward a more mainstream Christianity.

    Quoting Scripture and verse will not get you very far because they have Scriptures outside the Bible (The Book of Mormon and The Pearl of Great Price) to which they give the greater weight. A stark demarcation is made between the Father and the Son. The Catholic definition of creation is denied. They argue that the Lord made the world from pre-existing stuff. Catholicism contends that God made everything from nothing. Error is piled up upon error. All you can do is insist upon the Bible and look to the universal catechism for clarification. Some would exploit the contradictions and changes made to Smith’s writings. But I am unsure about the value of any argument. It might be best to witness by your holiness of life. Catholicism is a religion rooted in real history. Joseph Smith’s so-called revelations do not reflect either good history or religion. Indeed, there is no time that his writings could have emerged except in 19th century America. A basic social historiography works against their source documents.
17. 

    Carol Fox, on January 10, 2014 at 1:36 am said:

    Fr. Joe, I just watched Michael Voris’ report on Fox News. Since Ash Wednesday of last year (2013) I have given up watching all TV, and I think I have been better off because of that decision. I decided that “murder” really is not entertainment and after seeing on your site here that Fr. Eric Freed, of Eureka, CA died by murder…. God rest his soul. Thank you for writing what you said about Sean Hannity if he should choose to leave the Catholic Church. I am a part of the many Catholics that were poorly Catechized in the 1960s. But I knew that God wanted me to learn about Him and really KNOW Him. So I have been reading daily Scripture since 1985 and since then the Catholic Church has been exploding with so many ways in which to learn the TRUTH, with EWTN being the front runner. It has been like putting together a jigsaw puzzle with its many pieces, but with each piece in place, the picture is coming clearer. But more, I have learned that Jesus bathed all He did in love, but He always spoke the truth. I want to learn good Orthodox Catholicism, not the watered down stuff that is now called “Cafeteria Catholicism”. I am sure that the Saints would tell us to not water down our Faith because we are going to need ever ounce, every bit of knowledge and love we can muster because we might just have to die for the Faith. I have been praying the rosary every day asking Our Mother to help me with patience, peace and love. She truly has been. How do we tell the active Homosexuals that we know and have in our family that their souls are at risk of eternal damnation? Tell me, beginning with prayer, how do we talk to the Cafeteria Catholics in our lives?

    FATHER JOE: I think the first step is insuring that we truly appreciate the fullness of Catholic faith with all the various nuances and complexity. The faith is saving and certain but not necessarily simple. Second, we must be motivated by true faith and the teaching Church, not by politics or factions or angry rhetoric or critics who think they know better than the Pope. Third, we have to show how all the elements of Christianity are interrelated. They cannot be extracted piecemeal without damaging the whole. People need to be challenged in love with God’s saving Word.
18. 

    Noah, on December 12, 2013 at 4:52 pm said:

    Hello, I have been looking for an answer to a question about the Bible to which I cannot find the answer. Could you help me? I was wondering… why did Jesus tell the apostles to wait for the Holy Spirit?

    FATHER JOE:

    The power of the Holy Spirit made possible the miracles of Christ. It is by this power the sins are forgiven and people are healed. Jesus raises himself from the dead by his own power, that of the Holy Spirit. The period of waiting reflects the need for certain things to be accomplished but also salvation history, itself. The Jewish nation was the People of the Promise. God had established a covenant with them. Next, God the Father sends his Son. God comes to save his people. Jesus offers the redemptive work of the Cross and rises from the dead. He makes possible the forgiveness of sins and grants us a share in his life. The final element is the sending of the Holy Spirit. Again, God comes to his people, preserving us in the truth, inspiring the authors of the New Testament, giving efficacy to ministry and to the sacraments. Jesus had to first establish a Church and its leadership before sending his Spirit. They had to wait so that they might be made ready for the gift. Now Jesus will not be present in his visible humanity but by the power of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit lives in the Church as the soul informs the human body. The Church is born.

    Acts 1:1-5 – “In the first book, Theophilus, I dealt with all that Jesus did and taught until the day he was taken up, after giving instructions through the holy Spirit to the apostles whom he had chosen. He presented himself alive to them by many proofs after he had suffered, appearing to them during forty days and speaking about the kingdom of God. While meeting with them, he enjoined them not to depart from Jerusalem, but to wait for ‘the promise of the Father about which you have heard me speak; for John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the holy Spirit.’”
19. 

    Bruce Markowitz, on May 17, 2013 at 5:57 pm said:

    I am a new Catholic, my wife is also Catholic. We would like to take a vacation cruise, but the cruise we want runs from Saturday to Saturday and they do not have Mass on the ship. Does the Church have any provision for missing Mass? Thank you.

    FATHER JOE: Some cruises have priests and Mass is offered. Unfortunately, there just are not enough clergy to go around. Do the best you can and enjoy your cruise. You might take a missal along and look at the readings for Sunday while on the trip. There is also nothing stopping you from saying other prayers, like the rosary. Have fun and stay close to the Lord.
20. 

    Dot W., on April 4, 2013 at 10:59 am said:

    Thank you, Father Joe. I was relatively certain that I was correct. I appreciate your confirming that (and will resist the urge to be ungracious and self-righteous enough to say, “Told ya all so!” to the others. )
21. 

    Dot W., on April 4, 2013 at 7:47 am said:

    I am embroiled in a message board discussion with some other Catholics who claim that they needn’t agree with and uphold the current Catechism of the Catholic Church. One said that the Catechism doesn’t matter after one’s Confirmation, that following one’s own conscience is the ultimate authority.

    I say they’re very wrong to deny the authority of the Catechism as official Catholic doctrine. A Catholic must consult sources such as it and one’s parish priest to be sure that your conscience is fully informed. Conscience may not be claimed as trumping the authority of the Church simply because one dislikes what is taught.

    Who’s correct?

    FATHER JOE:

    They should read the universal Catechism on conscience. You are right, of course, because while we are obliged to follow conscience, such needs to be properly informed.

    [CCC 1783] Conscience must be informed and moral judgment enlightened. A well-formed conscience is upright and truthful. It formulates its judgments according to reason, in conformity with the true good willed by the wisdom of the Creator. The education of conscience is indispensable for human beings who are subjected to negative influences and tempted by sin to prefer their own judgment and to reject authoritative teachings.

    [CCC 1784] The education of the conscience is a lifelong task. From the earliest years, it awakens the child to the knowledge and practice of the interior law recognized by conscience. Prudent education teaches virtue; it prevents or cures fear, selfishness and pride, resentment arising from guilt, and feelings of complacency, born of human weakness and faults. The education of the conscience guarantees freedom and engenders peace of heart.

    [CCC 1785] In the formation of conscience the Word of God is the light for our path, we must assimilate it in faith and prayer and put it into practice. We must also examine our conscience before the Lord’s Cross. We are assisted by the gifts of the Holy Spirit, aided by the witness or advice of others and guided by the authoritative teaching of the Church.
22. 

    Paige, on March 18, 2013 at 6:52 pm said:

    Thank you so very much for your response. She does have 2 kids and this was discussed by her before they got off the bus. I will continue to pray about this and will stick up for my Catholic faith if she should bring it up again or want to talk about it even if that means I will lose a friend – but then again I’m not sure I would like her as a friend since our core morals and values differ so much. Thanks again and God Bless you!
23. 

    Paige, on March 18, 2013 at 5:54 pm said:

    I have been reading your posts with much interest and awe. I have a question for you. I have a very close neighbor of mine that just announced to me and several other neighbors that she has had 3 abortions and that she doesn’t regret any of them. Being Catholic, and quite in shock, and honestly sickened, I didn’t know how to respond to her… I know I need to pray for her and especially those 3 souls, but I see her every day at our children’s bus stop and quite honestly can’t even look at her. I am trying with all my will not to judge her and I do know there is no talking to her about this because she is one-sided and does not believe in God or his Judgment. What do I do? I am losing sleep over this…

    I appreciate any advice you can give me!

    FATHER JOE:

    It is hard to tell you what to say because a lot depends upon the disposition of your neighbor. Professor George writes a wonderful book entitled, EMBRYO that speaks about the unborn from the perspective of basic science and reason. However, such requires a certain level of intellectual muscle. Some people simply react to their feelings and expediency, without any serious reasoning or moral discourse. Further, arguments from faith would have little meaning to someone who neither believes in God nor the Gospel of Life.

    You mention that she is at the bus stop. I take it that she has a child or children of her own that she has not destroyed. I think the posture of prayer is certainly appropriate. It is also your right to share your sympathies about the dignity and sacredness of life. However, there is no guarantee as to how she might respond. If she is in denial about her full sentiments and emotions, then there is the possibility that she would become angry. Just as she shared her actions; you have the very same right to let her know your thoughts about the unborn. She is the one who made this a public matter.

    I would say nothing in front of the children. And, I would urge you not to lose sleep over this. It may be that she spoke out trying to rationalize her actions or to dispel the guilt that she refuses to admit. Such is often the case. Motherhood brings with it both a biological and spiritual dimension. She can deny it to herself as much as she wants, but there is a level of attachment that she will never be able to completely sever. I have often thought that such children wait for their parents in the life to come, wanting to be claimed and named. They are real and abortion does not destroy their souls. In this sense, they are still alive and will exist for all eternity.

    How can God forgive such things? If she should one day come to contrition, God can indeed apply his mercy. Even abortionists who have destroyed thousands of children have repented and had their sins forgiven. We must also try to find a place for them in our hearts, even as we face revulsion in struggling to love and to pray for them.
24. 

    GBR, on December 14, 2011 at 5:44 pm said:

    GBR: I am a Catholic and I am pro choice, not pro death, there is a difference.

    FATHER JOE: I would urge you to read Pope John Paul II’s encyclical on the Gospel of Life. You will find that any collaboration or passivity toward abortion is a betrayal of the Good News and is to facilitate the culture of death.

    GBR: As a scientist I simply cannot believe that life begins when an egg is fertilized.

    FATHER JOE: I am associated with Catholic scientists who know their faith and biology who would disagree with you. I suspect that your religious and ethical training was deficient. I would urge you to read Professor Robert George’s book entitled, Embryo. He argues that we must look to the complete human organism and its developmental trajectory. Beginning at conception, “an entity must possess a developmental program (including both its DNA and epigenetic factors) oriented toward developing a brain and central nervous system.” He would argue thus that “personhood” necessarily begins with conception. Beyond the approach of ethics, the Catholic faith teaches that the soul is infused at the moment of conception. We see implications of this teaching in the infallible dogma of the Immaculate Conception. Persons are preserved from sin, not things. Similarly, the corrected translation of the Nicene Creed at Mass stresses that Jesus was made “incarnate” of the Virgin Mary. This term does not mean born but would better reflect conception. God had joined the human family at the initial moment of Christ’s conception by the Holy Spirit. A refusal to respect the life and personhood of the entity conceived is a repudiation of crucial elements of the Catholic faith. Are you sure that you are not moving away from faith into a humanistic atheism which rejects the basic life principles?

    GBR: This would mean that when a woman has her period after intercourse and washes a fertilized egg from her womb, she is destroying life and thus is sinning.

    FATHER JOE: Frequently the egg lost in such a manner is not fertilized. However, if fertilized, there is no moral culpability for a miscarriage. God is the author of life and only he knows how many souls come to him because of the disharmony in nature. Remember, original sin is credited both with our slide into moral evil and the world’s natural evils. Did you have no Christian bioethical training at all?

    GBR: I would love for there never to have to be another abortion. I would also love it if no woman developed cancer during her pregnancy or that no child would develop with birth defects so severe as to not be compatible with life outside of the womb.

    FATHER JOE: Like I said, we can struggle with natural evil, but it is a mystery. The Christian posture is to submit ourselves to divine providence.

    GBR: Should the woman with cancer not undergo treatment thus killing herself and the fetus or should she undergo treatment thus saving herself but destroying the fetus?

    FATHER JOE: There are sometimes cases of double-effect (as when a cancerous uterus might be removed but there is no direct intent to destroy the embryo). However, it might be an occasion for great heroism and witness. I would direct your attention to St. Gianna Beretta Molla (died 1962). She was an Italian doctor, wife and mother. While pregnant with her fourth child, she refused to have an abortion and hysterectomy to save her own life.

    GBR: Should the woman with a fetus growing in her womb that cannot survive outside of the womb be forced to go through the entire pregnancy and give birth to a child that will “die” at birth?

    FATHER JOE: The presumption that a child would later not be viable outside the womb is no reason to destroy the baby in the womb. I know people who survived even though they were less than two pounds at birth. In any case, the direct killing of a person, either children through abortion or adults through euthanasia, is always immoral. As I said before, God is the author and master of human life. We do not have absolute dominion over it. Are you sure that you are a Catholic?

    GBR:

    Another question that I have pertains to the ten commandments.

    The second commandment:

    Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth:

    Is not any Catholic church in direct defiance of this commandment?

    FATHER JOE: Such a change in subject makes me think that you are only feigning Catholic Christianity. Fundamentalist Protestant anti-Catholics often bring up the charge that Catholics ignore this commandment. The gravity is about the worship of false deities. We do not worship statues. Like photographs of loved ones, they remind us of events and/or personages in salvation history. Even the Jews, as with the angels on the Ark of the Covenant or the bronze serpents God ordered on poles, did not follow this absolutely. The incarnation, God becoming a human being, has changed the “economy of images.” Jesus is the face of the Father. Now something of the creature can convey the mystery of the divine Creator. This mitigation or abrogation to the commandments (and why the catechetical list is different) goes back to the ancient patristic faith community.

    GBR: Also, should not the “day of rest” be Saturday rather than Sunday?

    FATHER JOE: Seventh-day Adventists make a great deal of this point and the late Pope John Paul II wrote about the Jewish Sabbath and the Christian Sunday Observance. Now I am certain that there has been some anti-Catholic association or influence in your life. Again, the difference, as with images, goes back to Jesus Christ. On Sunday the Christians would gather in the morning to celebrate the resurrection. John was the first to call this “the Lord’s Day.” The day prior they would worship as Jews but the Jewish Christians were expelled from the synagogues. This left them with only their Sunday Observance. Further, the importance of the resurrection as a re-creation eclipsed the earlier association with creation. Gentile believers also embraced the Sunday Observance. Christ had given such authority to the Church that she could reinterpret such divine ordinances. Indeed, the Sunday Observance gravitated around the great command of Jesus to commemorate his sacrifice, what we call today, the Mass. Were you not taught this in Catholic grade school or CCD? You object to Catholic teaching but apparently do not even have a child’s appreciation of your Catholic faith. Get a good catechism and learn our truths.

    GBR: And, as a woman, I have to say that I feel looked down upon by the Catholic church. I see nowhere in the bible that states that women cannot be priests.

    FATHER JOE: There is no evidence in the Bible that Jesus intended women to be priests, and he was not one to stick absolutely to the social structures of the day. The Church has no authority to ordain women without some indication that this is our Lord’s will. Further, gender is not an accidental of identity. It is an essential component. The priest at the altar participates in the one priesthood of Christ. He signifies Christ, the bridegroom of the Church to his Church, the bride. A priestess given the marriage analogy would signify a type of sacramental lesbianism. There were priestesses in Christ’s day… but they were all pagan.

    GBR: In the new wording for the mass the church keeps “for us MEN” rather than simply letting it state “for us”, once again keeping salvation for men.

    FATHER JOE: The word “men” in this reference is a typical universal usage common to the English language and reflective of the Latin text. It include both men and women

    as members of mankind.

    GBR: These are questions that I have had for many years wand no one has answered them with any real clarity. I do not mean to be rude. I simply question.

    FATHER JOE: Sorry, this does not wash. You could have sat down with your parish priest or participated in a parish continuing religious education program. You did not come here to ask questions but to argue for your dissent. Let us be honest about this.
25. 

    Only By Grace, on December 1, 2011 at 2:30 am said:

    Hello Fr. Joe,

    It’s been a blessing to come across to your blog. I have read your responses to several people who are against the Church and I am happy that you tell them with authority and firmness. Sometimes, things have to be said in accordance to the truth.

    I’d like to hear your response to a comment from Senator Miram Defensor-Santiago about her stans for Reproductive Health Bill (the Reproductive Health Bill is a bill that is in the Philippine Congress that promotes contraception, abortion and birth-control pills simply because the Philippines, apparently for them, is over-populated). I am a Filipino, a devout Catholic and an active member of a Catholic lay ministry in Canada. I am no theologian, that is why I came here asking for your expertise. Here are her statements:

    “The Bible does not say, ‘Go out to the world.’ It sounds very much like God is encouraging us to go out and copulate in public. God said in the Bible, ‘Go forth and multiply,’” she said.”

    “The Bible was not written by God. It was written at least 17 years after the death of Jesus Christ… They are quoting God, but the Bible says that none of them has ever seen God,” Defensor-Santiago continued. “In fact, if you claim to have seen God, you are in urgent need of psychiatric care.”

    Maybe you can shed some light?

    Thanks Father and I hope to read your response soon.

    OBG,

    First off, any promotion of artificial contraception, birth control pills and abortion would obviously be in stark contradiction to the teachings of the Catholic Church:

    Abortion is murder. Birth control precipitated a contraceptive mentality where the child is treated as a disease and not as a precious gift. We can be responsible parents without hating the child or killing children. Artificial contraception and abortion is symptomatic of selfishness and narcissism. The proper response is self-control, sacrifice and a principled defense of the sanctity of life and the dignity of persons.

    We should not speak as if human reproduction is evil and disgusting. Her very words seem to reveal the contraceptive mentality that fuels the culture of death. God is the Lord of life. If these citations are accurate, they show ignorance of the Gospel of Life.

    Opposition to life is not only a confrontation against the Church but against God. Indeed, there is no true Christianity that fails to respect the child in the womb as a reflection of the Christ Child.

    Secondly, assertions are made about Scripture and the commissions we receive from God:

    While it is true that God in Genesis makes us stewards of creation and sends men and women out to populate the earth; the Gospel adds an important admonition at the end of Matthew where Jesus commissions us to “go out to the world” with the Good News: “And Jesus came and said to them, ‘All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, to the close of the age'” (John 28:18-20).

    The Hebrew Scriptures go back thousands of years before Christ. The New Testament is an expression of faith within the Church where the oral traditions and letters were inspired by God. Just as with the incarnation, there is a union of the human and the divine. God used men as his instruments to convey his truths. Jesus shows us the face of God. He is God among us. The quotations reveal ignorance of religious matters and would put one outside the Christian faith.

    Would she deny that we can have a spiritual encounter with God and know his will? Here is what Jesus had to say about this question: “Philip said to him, ‘Master, show us the Father, and that will be enough for us.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Have I been with you for so long a time and you still do not know me, Philip? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words that I speak to you I do not speak on my own. The Father who dwells in me is doing his works. Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me, or else, believe because of the works themselves. Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever believes in me will do the works that I do, and will do greater ones than these, because I am going to the Father. And whatever you ask in my name, I will do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything of me in my name, I will do it’” (John 14:8-14).

    Religious believers are mocked as demented. Do not be fooled. No matter what a person calls him- or herself, attacks of this sort against the Bible and against the claims of religion are descriptive of atheism. Critics who claim these things neither believe in God nor in the authority of Church. Indeed, these quotations fall into the category of anti-Catholicism.

    Pray for her.

    Father Joe