Ask a Priest

5,442 Responses

Richard, on April 15, 2016 at 3:05 am said:

Hi, I am just interseted in some symbols of Catholicism. I was baptized and raised Catholic and want to return to the Church. But there are some concerns holding me back. Why does the Catholic Church use symbols like the Dragon, sun and serpent? I have seen pictures of the symbols in the Vatican. Please explain why those are in the Church. Thank you.

FATHER JOE: The meaning of certain symbols may vary upon how they are used and/or where they are found. The dragon is often a representation of the snake or serpent in the Garden. The dragon is also a symbol of St. George, who according to legend killed a dragon. It may also be a representation of the dragon in the Book of Revelation (referencing the Apocalypse). Serpents might refer to something similar or to the poisonous snakes that plagued God’s people. The image of a serpent was ordered placed on the end of a pole or sick and we are told in the Old Testament that all who looked upon it were healed. It becomes a figure for the saving Cross of Jesus. It is my understanding that sun symbolizes the Gospel and life. It might also be connected to Jesus who is the Light of the World, dispelling the darkness. It is also possible that the sun symbol is a misidentification. It may be a representation of a monstrance which holds the Blessed Sacrament. The monstrance often looks like a starburst with rays.
Antonio lugo, on April 14, 2016 at 3:12 am said:

Dear father,
Why would god make me and my girlfriend fall so deeply in love right before I leave for the military and her to college, I don’t get it please help or give some kind of insite

FATHER JOE: Could it be that he wants you to prove your love with fidelity and sacrifice? If it is meant to be, then you should apply yourselves to your given tasks ahead. Stay in contact, but remember that your time in the military is a step into tomorrow… building character, defending her and our security and freedoms, etc. Her days as a student will make possible her contribution as a full partner with her spouse. What you postpone and sacrifice today will be even sweeter tomorrow. If it is meant to be…
Z., on April 14, 2016 at 12:24 am said:

Hi, I am still a bit unsure of my faith at the moment, but I am leaning toward Catholicism, so I would like a Catholic perspective on this…

I am wondering if it is sinful to eat/use animals or animal products that have been produced in a factory farm or similar facilities, since modern industrialized farms often use unethical methods that cause suffering to the animals as they are being raised and slaughtered. Is using the products or meat of an animal with knowledge that it likely has suffered (possibly unnecessarily) in its life wrong or sinful? If so, is it a venial or mortal sin?

FATHER JOE: The issue is how remote the cooperation might be and what we actually know. We should not want to cause undue suffering for any of God’s creatures; but the Church has no opposition to the use of animals as food. The ethical use of the gifts of creation is what Pope Francis’ recent encyclical was about. While removing all pain and distress might not be possible, we should always treat animals with a respect for life and a thankfulness to God.
Jonathan, on April 13, 2016 at 10:25 pm said:

Hello Father. My name is Jonathan. I have been a Catholic ever since I can remember. I’ve been going to church every Sunday since I was born, and, at the age of 24, I still go today. I never considered that I would ever go to hell, until I looked back on my decisions. The bible states that a man should not lay in the same bed with another man, yet I am gay. I have had sex with men countless times. I am afraid that I have committed a mortal sin, and can not be forgiven. I am afraid that I will not make it into heaven. I 100% believe in God and the holy trinity, as I recite the nicene creed every Sunday. However, I do not believe that I will make it into heaven for the sole purpose of the fact that I have had sex with men so many times. When I die, will I go to heaven? If not, is there anything I can do to be forgiven? Will going to confession help?

Jonathan K.
California

FATHER JOE:

Catholicism speaks of the homosexual attraction as “disorientation.” No matter whether one is genetically disposed and/or misdirected by juvenile trauma, the orientation in itself is not sinful. However, any same-sex acts would be regarded as sinful. This assessment is due to an appreciation of both divine positive law (Scripture as God’s Word) and natural law (a reflection upon God’s design in creation). When Pope Francis made his controversial statement on the question, “Who am I to judge?” he was referencing not the objective nature of the moral evil in a general way but rather its subjective particularization in persons. God is the ultimate judge of souls. We must remember a number of factors when it comes to sin. First, the activity in itself must be wrong and for mortal sin it must be grievously so (serious matter). Second, the person who commits the wrong must know that the matter is wrong or forbidden. Third, the person must truly consent or will to do the act. Gravity can be minimized if conscience and the will are compromised. The degree of disorientation, the pressures of the surrounding culture, any form of coercion or outside force, and the factor of passion all impact upon the will and human freedom. The Holy Father cannot give approval to same-sex unions or sexual promiscuity. He is not God and he cannot usurp divine commands. However, as the Vicar of Christ, he can urge fidelity and offer God’s mercy. We love our homosexual brothers and sisters. But that does not mean we can make right something that God has revealed in his inspired Word and in the natural order as wrong. St. Paul would give us lists of sins by which we might forfeit membership in the kingdom. Among these is any type of sexual promiscuity: heterosexual and homosexual fornication and adultery. Apart from the subjective element of the equation, sex outside of marriage is always a matter of mortal sin. Single men and women should not have intimate genital relations with anyone. Only couples of men and women married in the eyes of God should engage in sexual congress. Sexual expression is not merely a means of recreation or play but makes possible in the marital act the consummation of a covenant between spouses and with Christ. It is also geared toward the propagation of children.

Everyone needs friendship and love. What you and so many today need to learn is that these needs do not require genital or sexual activity. Promiscuous sex damages the person and is more of an opening to lust than to holy passion. Lust devalues the other as a means to an ends. It reduces the other to a commodity or plaything. The other should not be treated as a mere object but as a personal subject. Holy passion regards the totality of the beloved and focuses upon the spouse’s needs and good. This form of love is sacrificial and one surrenders his or her life for the spouse. It focuses upon one person and by the nature of intimacy cannot be shared with others. Your body is YOU. Men and women should marry and remain monogamous. Giving your body to others who are not your spouse fragments the personality. It tears the person into pieces where each part is crying out for wholeness and totality. Promiscuous sex is hurtful to oneself and others— even if people are not fully aware of it. Depending upon how many sexual partners were pursued, the greater will be the need for virtue to heal the habitual vice and the grace to bring a healing of memories. You can be haunted by bodies and so many faces. The Church would preserve her children from this pain. But no matter what you have done, the Church and her priests are here to bring healing to your brokenness.

What should you do? You should embrace a celibate love which places persons before pleasure. Organizations like COURAGE urge meditation and Christian service as ways for gays and lesbians to live celibate lives of fidelity in the Church. Celibacy is not merely avoiding sexual expression; rather, celibacy is a particular way of loving witnessed by priests, St. Paul and by Jesus Christ. God will give the gift to those who ask for it and need it. Check out COURAGE and go to Confession. Change your lifestyle and rededicate yourself to Christ. Become a witness to a society that there is another way. You can become a true SIGN OF CONTRADICTION to a world that has largely forgotten God. I will keep you in prayer.
Ruth, on April 13, 2016 at 4:02 pm said:

Dear father

Why does God give a person so many troubles that some of them even lose their faith in Him? If God wants people to be faithful then why drive certain people to the point of feeling helpless. I ask this because I’m going through the same phase in life.

FATHER JOE: Divine providence weaves even the dark things of life to his purposes. We brought brokenness into the world and upon ourselves through sin. However, God is not the author of evil. God does not want to drive people to the point of despair. His direct will is not that we suffer but that we be faithful. Pray for patient endurance and a courageous faith.
chinonye, on April 13, 2016 at 3:59 pm said:

Hi Fr
I guess the reason why I’m feeling this way is because I don’t feel anything for him, that’s why I’m sort of rejecting him and stuff. If it were to be a guy I’m in love with, I would forgive him so easily and even struggle with sexual desires as well, haha. But I understand what you re saying. Thanks!

FATHER JOE: Does NOT LIKING someone justify rudeness or a lack of charity?
Anthony Davi, on April 13, 2016 at 10:22 am said:

Dear Father Joe,

I apologize. I did not see any of your responses. I apologize. I do see them now. Thank you.
Anthony Davi
chinonye, on April 13, 2016 at 9:06 am said:

Hi Father
Maybe I rebuked him for being a guy and its possible he trusted me to tell me that. He has in the past been rude on 2 occasions with a twinge of arrogance in my own opinion I don’t know what somebody else would think. He would call me “baby” “sweetheart” and I was like we re not dating so don’t call me that, and he said it was childish of me to say such. Another time he saw a picture of mine and said “nice cleavage” and my cleavage wasn’t even showing. I rebuked him for it, he got so angry and went on a rant telling me how as a doctor he operates on breasts all the time and after that he began to tease me in a sacarstic way and he did that twice after we argued. I also remember the first time I went to his house, a song was playing and he started caressing my face out of the blue. i ve forgiven him for all that but after those arguments and poking fun at me, I stopped liking him. I know I’m supposed to practise charity with my neighbour and I do try to practise it with him, but honestly speaking I don’t like him that much anymore, I force myself to be his friend cos of guilt. I really don’t know what to say or think now. Am I being unfair? Am I being uptight??

FATHER JOE: While there is objective right and wrong, there is a fringe area that depends upon culture and personal taste. Words of endearment or compliments about appearance might be judged as inappropriate, but you can also employ gentle correction. If he is a good guy then he will try to treat you as you want to be treated. Women traditionally set the boundaries (but not always). Even the best of men struggle with a fierce and fallen physicality. Good women can help men to be good. In response, gentlemen can assist women to be true ladies when they have moments of weakness. A man who falls in love with a woman will naturally struggle with his sexual desires for her. He will also want to nurture and protect her, exhibiting a profound respect. He realizes that this lady could be his wife and helpmate, the mother of his children and the heart of his home.
Mr.T, on April 13, 2016 at 4:42 am said:

Hi

Please may I ask you questions?

Mark chapter 15 verse 34

How many years from Justin martyr himself to the oldest existing copy of his writings? Please what is the number?

And

How do you know that Mark 15:34 was in Justin’s original writings?

And

Did Matthew tell Justin that Jesus said mark 15:34?

And

Did Mark tell Justin that Jesus said the verse?

Or

Did Matthew and Mark die BEFORE Justin was born?

And

Who told Justin that Jesus said the verse?

And

How do you know that Mark 15:34 was in the original gospel according to Mark?

And

How do you know that Matthew 27:46 was in the original gospel according to Matthew?

I look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible.

Thank you so much.

FATHER JOE: Most of Justin Martyr’s works are lost. We do have a Dialogue and two Apologies. What is the referenced citation in his works to Mark and/or to Matthew? Only then can I make an intelligent and charitable response. He purportedly lived 100 AD to 165 AD. All the apostles except for maybe John would be dead before he was born. It is my understanding that he may never had heard of or read the Gospel of John.
chinonye, on April 12, 2016 at 5:57 pm said:

Hello Father
I also have another question. I try my best to avoid sin at all cost, but I can’t help wondering if I’m over eager to become holy too quickly. I suspect (I’m not completely sure) that I want to be holy and sinless too soon, that I don’t want to discover more faults within me, to be perfect all the way. I hope you understand. Please how do I relax and go with the flow? Its hard for me. Thanks

FATHER JOE: Instead of being too eager you are probably not eager enough… growing in holiness means courage and constancy, not excuses.
Ruth, on April 12, 2016 at 4:17 pm said:

Father
How do I deal with a dear friend who has betrayed me and is never ready to admit it?

FATHER JOE: You have to accept that this person was not the friend you imagined.
chinonye, on April 12, 2016 at 6:23 am said:

Hi Father
I have a male friend whom I’m platonic friends with (in my mind at the time and not in his). He confessed to me one day how he had been aroused on 3 occasions when we were together, when I innocently had my hand on his shoulder and stuff. He went on to describe how my physical features turned him on. We had an argument over it and he apologised saying he didn’t know it was offensive, that he thought it was a compliment to me. I have deleted him from my phone. I just wanted to know if I was being harsh? I seem to be a magnet for guys who get so attracted to my features and some have even boldly touched me in the past. What is your advice? I don’t want to show empathy to someone who might not deserve it. Thanks.

FATHER JOE: Other than talking about how you affected him, was he in any way impolite or less than a gentleman? I cannot say if he were setting you up or just being honest to a girl he trusted enough to share his weakness and feelings. It is possible you rebuked him for just being a man with the natural struggles associated with his gender.
karla1blog, on April 12, 2016 at 12:14 am said:

Hello Father.

After death when God Judges, does he judge the mortal and venial sins a person has committed, but has confessed to a Priest? Are the sins confessed to a Priest, not held against you so to speak, not judged, (if you have received absolution), not a factor in whether you go Purgatory, Heaven or Hell, because those sins have been confessed?

I’m also confused because I read at the following link about Confession that it, “remits some of the eternal punishment incurred by mortal sin (CCC 1496), and restores sanctifying grace in our souls.”
http://www.saintaquinas.com/howto_confess.html

What is this eternal punishment if you’ve been Confession?

Thanks for answering.

FATHER JOE: Absolution in Confession does not mean you will go straight to heaven. While your mortal and venial sins may be given, you may still suffer from habitual sin (inclination or vices) and have residual temporal punishment due to sin. If not resolved through earthly mortification and penance, the fire suffered in purgatory will make you ready for heaven. We are purified and weaned away from evil. Unlike hell, this fire or punishment is temporary, not eternal.
Tina, on April 11, 2016 at 5:04 pm said:

Hello Father,

I recently went to confession and the priest I went to didn’t do the sign of the cross at the beginning and I did not do it before i started confessing. My sacrament is still valid though right, I was still absolved? Thank you

FATHER JOE: I take it you went face-to-face. As long as he gave you absolution, yes.
Victor, on April 11, 2016 at 12:34 am said:

Are any regulations about where to hold parish meetings?
Are parish priest holds most meetings at the rectory, I feel uncomfortable having them there, I think these meetings should be held at the parish hall.
Thank you for any respond.

FATHER JOE: Some parishes do not halls or separate offices. The rectory is a working house. It is the pastor’s call.
Ruth, on April 10, 2016 at 12:50 pm said:

Dear father,
Do priests ever find themselves getting bored or lonely? How do they overcome such feelings?

FATHER JOE: Sure, priests are people, too. We must all endure the human condition. Staying busy helps.
Anthony Davi, on April 10, 2016 at 10:23 am said:

Sunday, April 10, 2016

ANTHONY: Dear Father, I submitted a question several times about whether Matthew 22 1-14 could possibly be connected to Purgatory but no response.

FATHER JOE: You must have a very short memory or are unable to find the responses. I have responded to your question, twice!

Monday, March 7, 2016

ANTHONY: Dear Father Joe, in the scripture [Matthew 22 1-14 ], could the Catholic interpretation of verse 13 be referring to Purgatory instead of Hell? Since no one but a believer that has repented of their sins could actually be at the wedding feast, could it just be that the man who was not wearing the wedding clothes just needed purgation in Purgatory? I have read Purgatory describes as the wash-room, where we shed our dirty clothes and plunge into a hot bath before entering the majestic palace of the King. I have understood that the scripture below is generally thought to refer to Hell. Could verse 13 be Purgatory? What are your thoughts about this verse?

FATHER JOE: No, the man is shut out from the marriage banquet… literally the kingdom. The traditional interpretation is the correct one. His fate is hell. There is a universal call to salvation. But it must be accepted. The wedding garment is free. He opts not to put it on.

Monday, March 25, 2016

ANTHONY: Dear Father, Does any part of Matthew chapter 22 reference Purgatory? I have heard that the usual interpretation that the darkness and gnashing of teeth usually is interpreted as Hell but is it the Catholic view perhaps that those invited to the wedding feast go there eventually but not having the wedding clothes, they can clean up in Purgatory and rejoin the wedding feast when their purification is completed. I would very much appreciate your thoughts.

FATHER JOE: The reference is to being shut out of the kingdom. We read: “But when the king came in to meet the guests he saw a man there not dressed in a wedding garment. He said to him, ‘My friend, how is it that you came in here without a wedding garment?’ But he was reduced to silence. Then the king said to his attendants, ‘Bind his hands and feet, and cast him into the darkness outside, where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth.’ Many are invited, but few are chosen.’” (Matthew 22:11-14) The wedding garment was complimentary, likely handed out at the door. This man rudely decided to disrespect the host and the meaning of the celebration. I see nothing of purgatory here. This is most likely hell. The passage is about the terrible price of sin and how it demands divine justice. Remember what happened to the ones who initially rejected his invitation. “The king was enraged and sent his troops, destroyed those murderers, and burned their city” (Matthew 22:7).
Paige, on April 8, 2016 at 1:16 pm said:

Hello, I hope I can find some help here. I was raised by two atheist parent, never baptized. I got a civil marriage a few years ago but we have been separated for 3 years now. If I was to convert to the Catholicism, could I get married in church? Is my first mariage a valid sacramental marriage if it was a civil one?

FATHER JOE:

1. A sacramental marriage requires that both spouses are baptized Christians. If either is a Catholic, the marriage vows must be said in a ceremony before a Catholic priest or deacon. Preparation and the appropriate dispensation would also be required.

2. If you married a Catholic out of the Church, then after a divorce you could apply for a declaration of nullity due to lack of canonical form. Afterwards, you would be free to marry in the Church.

3. If you married a Protestant or another unbaptized person, then the first marriage would be regarded as a binding NATURAL (not sacramental) bond. Unless there were grounds for either the Petrine or Pauline privilege, you would need to submit a formal annulment case (along with the civil divorce). According to this scenario, you would not be immediately free to marry again.
peeptuisku, on April 7, 2016 at 2:13 pm said:

Hello, Father!
I have a moral dilemma. As a Catholic, what kind of movies exactly are harmful to our souls. I would like to see a just released film in cinema, but I’m afraid that it might be too explicit for me. From the trailer I see constant partying (including drinking, scenes with girls etc). But this film is about the 90’s – about my childhood and the life in my home country back then. So the experience would probably be nostalgic.
What should I do?
The trailer:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9BxXUX_2Co&nohtml5=False]
Thank you.

FATHER JOE: You’re nostalgic about the 90’s? Church authorities in various nations rate films. What does the local Catholic censor say about it? I really am in the dark about it. Am I getting too old to relate? Sorry. If you think it might be dangerous to your faith then avoid it.
Paulie, on April 7, 2016 at 3:11 am said:

Dear Fr. Joe,

If you do not mind me asking, who is your confirmation saint, and why?

FATHER JOE: My confirmation saint was PETER. He comes across as strong and as a leader but not perfect. Instead of despair over his failure, his love makes possible forgiveness and the restoration of his charge from Christ. I was the oldest of seven and five of us were boys. My dad said I was the ringleader. In a sense, this is how (as a boy) I saw Peter over the disciples.
helenl, on April 7, 2016 at 12:14 am said:

Thank you, Father Joe. There’s not much to find online, but I did find this: http://newtheologicalmovement.blogspot.com/2012/11/is-christ-king-of-angels-even-in-his.html I wanted to make sure “King of Angels” was orthodox theology by asking someone I trust to know Catholic doctrine (AKA you) before I stitched it and insulted a priest. The alternative was to block out other words but the design gave me a spacing challenge for doing that. THE CCC didn’t help one bit. LOL I’m known for my unusual questions.
helenl, on April 6, 2016 at 3:23 pm said:

Father Joe, I have a question concerning a title for Jesus. On a cross-stitch pattern that I’m stitching for a priest is a Madonna holding an infant Jesus. Under the picture are the words: “Behold, the King of Angels.” Is the “King of Angels” an appropriate name for Jesus when used in this context?

I read that “King of Angels” applies only to Jesus divinity but not an Incarnate Jesus, which obviously an infant is. I’ve tried looking this up but have found no definitive answer.

FATHER JOE: I would be curious as to whom you read. While men are lower than angels in the hierarchy of being, such distinctions between the humanity and divinity of Jesus would come terribly close to early heresies about the identity of Christ and the hypostatic union linking his two natures. Nestorius claimed that Mary could be called the Mother of the Man but not the Mother of God. It was a debate that he would not win. Similarly today, progressive theologians will insist that the Christ of faith (professed by the Church as the worker of miracles) is distinct (at least in language) from the Jesus of history (a Jewish prophet who got in trouble with the authorities). There is a tendency to judge the Christ of faith as somewhat contrived or even as unreal. The theologian Elizabeth Johnson invades this territory with her “metaphors.” Jesus is a divine Person. The unity between his natures is profound. Our Lord is the king of angels and of men. Indeed, the incarnation and his kingship might have been a key reason for the rebellion of the devil and the other fallen angels. Some of the fathers of the Church asserted that Satan refused to bend the knee to a God who would lower himself to the status of humanity, judged by Satan as nothing more than living sacks filled with blood. Thus, the passion becomes God’s ultimate repudiation of the devil, redeeming us precisely through the crucified flesh and blood of Jesus. That which he maligned and belittled became God’s weapon to defeat the devil.
ecioch, on April 6, 2016 at 1:36 am said:

As I do read also. Thank you for your many words of wisdom
Alexandra, on April 5, 2016 at 6:45 pm said:

Hello father. I fell in love with my second cousin once removed (his mother and my mother are first cousins)
Is it okay if we get married according to the catholic church?
God bless you Father.

FATHER JOE: Second cousins can marry. First cousins cannot.
Ruth, on April 5, 2016 at 3:50 am said:

Thanks for your response father. But pardon me I have another doubt.

How would Jesus react to a flirtatious woman? I’m sure not all women out there treated him in a brotherly manner. Some women would have been hitting on him. So??

FATHER JOE: That was not a culture where women simply walked up to a man regarded as a prophet or religious teacher. Women’s bodies were covered and they could face beatings for improper actions. Sexual misconduct could result in the death sentence. You cannot judge the situation by our hedonistic age.