Ask a Priest

5,442 Responses

Edith, on January 4, 2016 at 11:40 pm said:

Dear Father Joe,
Thank you for your advice about dancing in the Lent. To answer your question I dance various styles of ballroom: waltz, samba etc. I reserved time for the God in the Lent time – apart from Sunday Mass I will be attending additional Stations of the Cross services,
Best Wishes in 2016,
Edith
Albert, on January 4, 2016 at 10:43 pm said:

Is there spiritual merit in the fact that you cared enough to ask father? To me it shows God how much you care to be right with him. I hope this isn’t a bad comment. God bless.

FATHER JOE: Your comment is fine. The previous one was as well. [I have edited it to help avoid ambiguity.] It is okay to seek guidance in remaining in God’s good stead. The struggle is sometimes that people with good faith can be a bit scrupulous about the sacrament of penance. We should leave confession with a sense of peace, not anxiety. Blessings!
Julie, on January 4, 2016 at 9:14 pm said:

Father,

Is a woman considered a virgin if she and her husband are only able to do oral sex due to impotence and vaginal pain and have also been treated for it?

FATHER JOE: Oral sex as such an act of gratification is regarded as mortal sin. Consummation of the marriage requires at least one act of non-contraceptive vaginal intercourse. Purity is sacrificed through any form of illicit sexual activity. That is much more important than the question of material or physical virginity. Obviously, spiritually, such a woman is not.
gunnyginalaska, on January 4, 2016 at 5:27 am said:

Father,

Should a wife follow her husband wherever his job takes him, no matter what? As Catholics, I say yes and remind her of the bible scriptures but she refuses.

FATHER JOE:

The headship of the husband over the home is not dictatorial or absolute. Marriage is a profound partnership where there must be dialogue and cooperation. Decisions in the family must respect roles, persons, resources, responsibilities, and opinions. Love your wife enough to respect her views, even if you disagree.

I knew a situation where the husband wanted to take his wife and children to homestead in the Alaskan wilderness. Such would compromise their financial security and the possibly even their lives, given that they would be living off the land and far removed from emergency services. The wife said, NO! Her husband wrongly abandoned his family and then tried to justify it with bible verses. He was grievously wrong.

I do not know your situation, but you should take seriously your wife’s concerns. It is possible that she is right and it is a bad move. However, I have no details and cannot put forward an opinion. Would you have a better job and security as a family? Does she work and is her employment more crucial than yours? Do you have children and what are their needs? Where are you in terms of family and friends?

P.S. Your vulgar email address (unpublished here) is not funny and undermines your character as a Christian gentleman. I would suggest changing it.
Edith, on January 3, 2016 at 10:51 pm said:

Dear Father Joe,
Is it a sin to go partying during Lent (before Holy week)? I am a dancer and I go out to social dancing parties to practice 2-3 times a week, I do not need to drink alcohol there but obvioulsy its something what gives me a lot of joy – dancers there are also my friends. I do not want to stop it for nearly 40 days. Is it a sin? Thank you for advising.

FATHER JOE:

What kind of dancer are you? There is nothing wrong with dancing but certain types of dancing are inherently problematical or even immoral. It is important to make a distinction. A friend of mine studied dance at the University of Maryland and she excused herself from dance moves and styles that she felt conflicted with her Christian values.

Having fun with friends, dancers or not, is a normal social interaction. However, while you make time for them, do you make time for the Lord? Only you can answer this question. Is a little penance during the season of Lent too much for the greatest friend you will ever have? Obviously, you should keep the Church’s rules about fasting and abstinence. Going out for chaste fun and fellowship is okay. If you are doing anything wrong, it would be wrong the whole year long.

Anyhow, these are my thoughts. Take care and God bless!
Jack, on January 3, 2016 at 10:51 pm said:

Dear Father, my Catholic family frequently gets into a fray when a rule or place is challenged. My question addresses “original sin”. When I was a youngster I remember being told that any child left unbaptized went to, not Heaven, but Limbo. Lately there is no mention of Limbo and it appears that “anyone” can perform a baptism. What’s up? Thanks

FATHER JOE:

Most early authorities in the Church, like St. Augustine, thought it likely that unbaptized children went to hell. The scholastic theologians, notably St. Thomas Aquinas, theorized a limbo of the innocents where these children would know natural happiness but remain ignorant of God. The current universal catechism admits to a certain ambiguity over this matter but asserts that the Church has confidence that the Lord in his goodness would make some provision for these children. Indeed, given the tragedy with millions of abortions, it may be that something of the grace given to the Holy Innocents killed in Christ’s stead might be shared with these little ones. The proper ministers of baptism remain a priest or deacon. However, in an emergency, as with a dying child, anyone can baptize so long as one has the proper intent and employs the proper form (Trinitarian formula) and matter (water).
elizabethlawoyin, on January 1, 2016 at 10:23 pm said:

Happy New year Father! I hope you’ve had a wonderful festive season.

My question will be slightly long winded as I want to give you some background. Sorry.
Sometime last year, I completed a novena for deliverance on my own. I did it because my family has a history of worshipping other gods and my great grandfather was a priest for these other god’s , I felt it necessary to complete the novena to remove any ties with said gods because it isn’t uncommon for grandparents/parents to take oaths or concecrate descendants to their gods. It was something that kept coming to mind to do after considering various family circumstances and peculiarities which I won’t go into now. Anyway, as I progressed in the novena, I started feeling and witnessing things I had never felt before. Firstly, no matter how cold the room was, I would start feeling very hot and begin sweating, this is often followed by a feeling I can only describe as dizziness and a tingling sensation which makes me feel weak. My mouth becomes dry but there is also a coolness of breath. I also shiver and I’m usually overwhelmed with emotion and begin to cry. Though, I am never afraid, I must say that it’s a weird experience. I continue to pray and after a time these sensations pass usually closer to the end of my prayers. These things continue to happen even after the novena has ended, I might just be doing my daily devotion of reading some Psalms and saying the Rosary but I still feel those things.

I’ve tried to ask my mother, a fellow church member and even a priest but the answers get aren’t very helpful. I’m wondering what it could be and what I could do? Would I need see a priest for a deliverance? How do I know the source of these signs? A little research suggests it could be the power of the Holy Spirit but others suggest demonic possession. What should I do.

I should add that they never happened before the novena.

FATHER JOE:

Remember that we are creatures of spirit and matter. Regarding the latter, we can very much be affected by both ailments of the mind and body. Since you are well aware that family members practiced false worship, this fact can play upon the mind. Emotional responses can influence how we feel, even make us sick. I have seen many cases of this after trauma and abuse. I would not give it much consideration.

As spiritual-corporeal composites, we can also know spiritual oppression. Thus, there might be a spiritual antagonism to your religious devotion to our Lord and to the true God. This is not something unique to you but signifies the fact that every Christian battles with powers and principalities. The false worship of your family line might be a personal hurdle, but the fact that you complete your prayers is a sign that it is an external force. Think less about how hard it is or the effects upon you and more about how you are engaged in the fight for souls. Indeed, your intercession may have some benefit to those of your family who were ignorant of the true God. The demonic would act from malice and for the damned there is no hope. But who is to say how many may linger among the Poor Souls? Acknowledge that your prayers make a difference, even if there should be resistance. Pray for the souls in Purgatory. Have confidence that while you walk with Jesus, there is nothing that hell can throw at you that matters. If you think the devil is fighting you then this should be no surprise. Be a prayer-warrior for Christ! Maintain courage as you witness to the community and lost family members around you. Peace!
M., on December 31, 2015 at 7:47 pm said:

Hello Father.

I read on a Christian website that God has a tenderness towards victims of rape, which was a great spiritual comfort as I was a victim of incest when I was 2-3. The comfort was very short-lived, however, because a few lines further down the page, it stated that mental illness – even though caused by rape – is iniquitous. That can’t be true, can it? I suffer from various psychological aftereffects (even 43 years later), but it wasn’t exactly a >choice<; I have tried several times to deal with them professionally. How can fellow Christians state that, through no fault of their own, people suffering mental illnesses as a result of such horrible crimes are iniquitous?

Have a Guid New Year.

M.

FATHER JOE: Be careful about what you read online. Not familiar with what was written, I cannot say much about it. However, you are right, mental illness detracts from personal culpability. Could it be that the person does not understand the definition of the word as meaning corrupt or wicked? Peace!
Maurice, on December 31, 2015 at 4:39 am said:

Father, when you ask at a wedding, “Are you willing to welcome children into the household,” does this mean that you must be willing to have children in the marriage? So, if a man and a woman want to marry but do not want children, would you be unable to perform the ceremony? What about when one spouse is sterile or barren? What about when two senior citizens want to get married.

FATHER JOE: If a couple of child-bearing years wants to get married in the Church, there must be an openness to having children. A lack of such desire is grounds for an annulment. It invalidates the vows. We ask couples the question as part of the prenuptial investigation. If they say no then they do not want marriage as understood by the Catholic Church. The priest cannot witness what he knows for certain is an invalid marriage. The couple is the minister of the sacrament and so they must have the mind of the Church about the sacrament or natural bond. If a couple is not fertile or are elderly, the request is no longer necessary. There is no longer any intention against children, just a natural inability or defect to have any. However, if they engage in the marital act then it must still be that type of act that by design is orientated to the generation of new human life. Thus even infertile and elderly couples cannot engage in condomistic intercourse, because it only feigns the marital act.
Jeliene, on December 30, 2015 at 9:21 pm said:

I went to confession this afternoon and when the priest asked me a question regarding acknowledging my sins, I’m not sure if I misunderstood what he was asking. I answered yes that I had acknowledged what I had done, but now I am unsure if he meant acknowledging them to others or to myself. I never intended to lie during confession but now am questioning exactly what he was asking of me. Is this a mortal sin if I misunderstood his question?

FATHER JOE: He simply meant, had you confessed the sins you needed to confess. It seems to me you did. Nothing more to worry about.
john, on December 30, 2015 at 8:00 am said:

Woe (as in hold your horses) to those who call good people evil and themselves good. Woe to those who are so rigid in their creativity that a good project is stifled. Woe to those who use a position of power to ridicule and bully those under them. These do not know the charity and
forgiveness propagated by Jesus in order that we may know joy. Woe to
those who stir up controversy and strife, because they think they thrive
in such an atmosphere. Woe to the haughty, whose own big head doesn’t allow them to see clearly. Woe to those whose love of money
cheats those around them. Do you agree Father Joe?

FATHER JOE: Sounds about right. Hope you had a nice Christmas. Happy New Year!
Momof4, on December 30, 2015 at 2:57 am said:

My 25 year old son has been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. He is very hard to take care of. I have been praying constantly for healing or management of his symptoms by way of a willingness on his part to take his medication. Our family is at constant odds. His behavior is difficult for all of us and I have a sense of impending doom for his spirit if something happens to him. He was christened when he was born (his father is Catholic… I was raised Baptist) I lead him to Christ (our way) when he was 16. I don’t understand why He, I or out family have the cross to bear. I know the Lord hears me and I know he is near and I struggle to remain hopeful and not live in fear. My church as well as others treat him like he has leprosy. I don’t attend church (in a building) anymore because of it. I have the understanding that we. Each of us is the church and live to show Christ’s live in how I live and treat others. Please pray for us. If you have any insight or comments I would love to hear from you. Thank you. And God bless you.

FATHER JOE:

I had a friend named John who suffered from such. I first encountered him on the streets of Washington, DC. He refused to take his medicine. He heard voices and thought everyone was against him. When he took his medicine, he complained that he lost any spiritual or religious interest and satisfaction. He felt it dulled his emotions. His parents were elderly and said they could only handle him while medicated. When he stopped taking the medicine, he would soon return to the street. The delusions were serious. I still recall the time when he became catatonic in the rectory parlor. He stopped talking and moving… literally froze in place like a mannequin. It was frightening. I tell you all this so that you will know I understand and that I can appreciate your terrible struggle. You love him but it is hard to know what to do. Others should be helpful and caring; but instead they are often cold and want nothing to do with him. As a Catholic priest, my understanding of the Church is rooted in Christ’s call of the 12 apostles and then the 70 disciples. He says that when two or more gather to pray in his name, he is there. The Church is not one person but is a communion of persons who believe and love the Lord. Your child was baptized and that makes him a spiritual child of the faith community, the family of the Church. Yes, it is made up of the local assemblies where the Word and Sacrament are broken; but it also includes all the pilgrim faithful of earth, the souls in purgation and the saints in heaven. Not all local churches are as loving as they should be. But the Church is both a human and a divine institution. It is human in that Christ calls sinners. It is divine because it is the Mystical Body of Christ. My little community of faith seeks as best as we are able to embrace all our brothers and sisters in their brokenness. Many have special challenges like Autism or a loss of mobility. God would have us be inclusive. Everything should be done to insure that your son takes his needed medications. But whatever happens, know that our Lord loves you and him and the family. Know that there are good Christians who love you all as well and keep you in prayer. I will keep you all in prayer. Why things happen the way they do is a great mystery. God’s providence is often hard to decipher. But he does have his reasons. I pray he will know healing and that everyone will find strength and acceptance. Blessings!
Anonymous, on December 29, 2015 at 11:57 pm said:

Hi Father,
I am a student interested in Theology. I had a discussion about heaven with my friend and I have a question.

I remember reading from a book that we will have our own “desires” in heaven, because in heaven, we will be “doing things”, and “doing things”, by its nature, entail having a desire and fulfilling it.

Is it correct to say that “In heaven, everything I desire in my heavenly life will be perfectly fulfilled in reality, since all of my desires in heaven will be in conformity with God’s desire for us”?

I do understand that in heaven, our focus will be on God and our other desires will be dwarfed. But I am just curious if the above statement is correct. Thank you!

FATHER JOE:

What book speaks of desires in heaven?

Where did you read that the focus upon desires will cause other desires to be dwarfed?

My question would be, what precisely do you mean by these other desires? What could we want that we would not have? Perfection in grace means putting on the mind and heart of Christ, being transformed ever more and more into the likeness of Christ. The ultimate desire of the soul is the acquisition of God. We will enter into the beatific vision: seeing God, loving God, and basking in the joy of union with God. Desire requires potency but our deepest desire will be realized. Faith ends at the gates of heaven. We will know God. Sacraments end with this world. All that is veiled will be uncovered. Love of others will be subsumed into our love of the divine. We will ever grow in the Lord because the finite can never fully exhaust the infinite. This movement within the Trinity is everlasting. But we will acquire all for which we could ever hope. We will not forfeit our individual identity, but our hearts will beat in harmony with those of Jesus and Mary. I suspect that this will include a desire for the salvation of souls still in pilgrimage to find their way to the Promised Shore.
S, on December 29, 2015 at 8:39 pm said:

Father,

I am having serious problems in my prayer life. Whenever I pray, even though it is with somewhat concentration, I feel an irresistible urge to repeat the words. I think I got this from a brief encounter with Eastern Orthodox Christianity. Even to this day I love the way the Orthodox think about prayer. But one of their teachings stuck on me. I believe one Orthodox saint had said something like this (these are not his/her exact words) – “If you pray and find that you have said something without concentrating on the meaning of the words, go back and repeat it again, slowly.” One Orthodox saint (I believe it was the great Russian mystic St Theophan the Recluse) praised a man who stood silently and prayed nothing during the Divine Liturgy but Psalm 50 (Have mercy on me, O God, according to Thy great mercy). Apparently, this man prayed it so slowly that it lasted for three hours!

I took these holy words to hearth. However, my prayers have become something like this.

“Our Father – Father – Who art – art – Our Father Who art – Our Father – Our Father – Our Father Who art in Heaven – heaven”

In fact, one time, I sat down to pray the Rosary. It took me ONE HOUR to say it (at least).

Is this good? Well, what I am doing is most certainly not what the holy Orthodox saint meant when he spoke about prayer! Or is it? Please advise.

FATHER JOE: I hate to say it but it reminds me of a case I came across many years ago. Like you the person repeated words, not only in prayer but in other efforts at reflection and concentration. He could not stop himself. It was not a spiritual issue at all, but a serious mental problem for which he had to seek treatment. I cannot say what your situation may be, but if the repetition is beyond your control, then YES, you have a problem that needs addressing with a health professional. Is the repetition something over which you have conscious control? If so, then force yourself to say your prayers straight through. If you cannot, then there is something seriously wrong.

I have another question: I have deep respect for Eastern Orthodoxy, and I have a deep reverence for their saints. There is one particular Russian Orthodox saint called Saint Seraphim of Sarov. If you read his life story, you actually get awed at the things he did. One story says that he spent a thousand days in extreme asceticism, spending most of his time on a rock crying out “Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner!’ Two other Orthodox saints who made a deep impression on me are the Russian mystic St Theophan the Recluse (his writings on prayer are beautiful) and the recently canonized St Nektarios. Am I wrong to call them saints? Many of them have worked miracles, although some have spoken against Roman dogmas. The Roman Catholic Church after all does not (officially) recognize them. But Wikipedia says that Pope John Paul II referred to St Seraphim as a saint – he is after all the most “Catholic” of the Orthodox saints. According to some, he even taught a prayer called “The Rule of the Theotokos”, which is very similar to the Rosary.

FATHER JOE: They may be regarded as saints by the Eastern Church; that is about all I can say. Saints, Eastern or Western, are not always accurate in all their estimations about religion. Saints are holy, not intellectually infallible.

Another question I have. This problem has mostly subsided, but it was a nightmare to me before. It happens sometimes though. The problem is this – while I pray, sometimes horribly blasphemous thoughts enter my mind, especially when I pray to the Virgin Mary. How do I protect myself?

FATHER JOE: Bad thoughts can randomly intrude upon any of us. However, make sure that this is not connected to the repetition problem. I recall the man I knew who had issues with repetition also struggled with intrusive bad thoughts, toward sacrilege and even in regard to self-destruction. Psychological treatment was able to help him.

Yet another question. I am so sorry to keep you busy like this, but I must ask – I have not yet been baptized. I am a sinner – there is a certain mortal sin which I commit nearly everyday – the sin of masturbation and pornography. Now I live in India, and as you may have heard on the news, Nepal recently had an earthquake. The tremors were felt even here in Kolkata (where I live). Say an earthquake happens tomorrow, and I am in danger of dying – and I have NOT BEEN BAPTIZED. What can I do to save myself from hell? Will the Chaplet of Divine Mercy or the Rosary help, or are they effective only through the Sacraments?

I have a few more questions, regarding other more materialistic things. Is it okay if I ask them tomorrow? Thanks in advance!

Thank you so much for you patience, Father! I must have completely worn you out with this long message. Apologies for that.

Please pray for me, a sinner.

S.

FATHER JOE: Prayer of any sort is valuable; however, you are spiritually handicapped. If you truly believe in the Church then you should be seek Baptism, First Communion and Confirmation. God saves those whom he wills. The Fourth Lateran Council taught that outside the Church there is no salvation. Of course, the Church intervenes and prays for others. The teaching would apply to those who know that the Catholic Church is the true Church and still refuse to join. Is this your situation? Given that you are India, I can appreciate that there may be serious social and personal complications with such conversion.
Searchingforwisdom, on December 28, 2015 at 9:45 am said:

Dear Father Joe,

If you commit a non violent crime underage that you didn’t know was wrong or illegal (for instance, downloading free music that is illegal or searching for illegal indecent content online, hacking someone’s account, etc), but you have been told after that it is wrong by a parent and you don’t do it again and you have completely repented from it and felt remorseful, is justice necessary? Do the authorities need to be involved and is justice necessary for you to be saved by Jesus Christ for this situation?

FATHER JOE: I doubt that young people who commit violent crimes can have no moral sense about the wrongness. That may be a rationalization to avoid culpability and guilt. If you steal from someone then restitution should be made. Parents are responsible for the child’s crimes and may have to make monetary compensation. The child in turn will require punishment and have to make payment back to the parents. Coming to Christ does not subtract from the need to make restitution; indeed, our Lord may make it an imperative. There are civil penalties for crimes just as we must do penance and endure suffering to appease temporal punishment for sin.
Wilson, on December 28, 2015 at 4:10 am said:

Sorry father… a little addition to my question on empathy and compassion for the abortive girlfriend…
I do realize than I was sinning having premarital sex and all so I know that was wrong me of me to do and I am not assuming that the situation I ended up in was a result of the purest actions…I was asking the questions knowing that premarital sex was wrong of me to do.
Thank you
Wilson, on December 28, 2015 at 3:06 am said:

Father Joe…

This is a very similar situation to a posting that was on your blog earlier.

I had a girlfriend who told me she was pregnant with my baby and had resolutely decided with her mother to get an abortion against my wishes and collaboration. I told her I did not believe in abortion and that I was a Catholic. She told me that she had already made arrangements and got the means to do it and was not gonna ask me for money because she thought I did not have any. Although if she had asked I would not have given her any money anyway and at no time did I tell her I would have. Broke my heart what she was gonna do. One of the very darkest and saddest time of my life. I visited her with a gift to try and restore what had been broken in our relationship with the ultimate hope of being with her and the baby but the conversation was quiet and my impression was that she seemed little interested and as determined as before. Sometime later she called and wanted to meet with me. We did and she told me that she had gone to start the abortion and found out that it could not have been my baby after all. She told me she was having the abortion as we spoke and as tragic as that was, I was so happy to know it was not my baby she was aborting. I had alot of mixed feeling at that point but at no time did i tell her or try to lead her to believe i had changed my mind about my opposition to the abortion she was having. I had already told her that. She seemed sad and physically hurting and at one point she put her head on my lap. I put my arm over her, and told her that if she had decided to keep this baby and if it was our baby it would have been beautiful. We talked some more and out of curiosity and a bit of empathy I asked her what was going on in her body. She told me and, to say the least, it was not good. Even though I was against what she was doing, I did not judge or condemn her. I just listened. I still cared about her deeply. Its a strange feeling caring about somebody so much yet being so against what they are ding. I left that night with a sense of relief, and a sense of the wrong that was happening but I let her know I still cared about her. My question for you father is was it wrong how I handled the situation? And was I wrong to show compassion and empathy for her?

FATHER JOE:

Compassion and concern for her was as it should be.

But you only have her word that it was not your child. Maybe she told you what you wanted to hear?

Abortions can make future relationships of this sort difficult, especially with growing awareness and grief.

Pray for her. Give her unborn child a name and remember her in prayer as well. Ask God to watch over this little soul, unwanted by her mother with a life stolen from her before she could open her eyes in this world. The child may have been aborted, but the child is alive now in the Lord. When your girlfriend meets Jesus, she might also have an encounter with another who will cry out to her, Mother!” Dead is not gone.
Bertha, on December 28, 2015 at 2:08 am said:

Are you still a virgin even when you are married and are able to just do oral sex due to impotence and vaginius?

FATHER JOE: How does one define virginity, physically or spiritually? Virginity is more than the retention of the hymen. It has to do with purity. Regarding moral sexual activity, a married woman surrenders her virginity to her spouse for purposes of fidelity and propagation. Immoral sexual activity robs a woman of her virginity and constitutes the matter of grievous sin.
Joe, on December 27, 2015 at 10:26 pm said:

Dear Father…
This is a hypothetical question but it steers close to home for me..if my sons dog made puppies with my neighbors dog and our neighbor was not happy with the situation and said after the puppies were born that she was going to put them to sleep…and as a result my son said he did not believe in killing them because he thought it was wrong to do and against his religion as well…in response the neighbor said that they had already decided to put them down and had already made arrangements to cover the expenses and were not going to ask my son for money because she thought he did not have any…my question is then did my son collaborate with them kiling the puppies? Also, at no time did he say he would have given the neighbor money if she had asked or did he even desire to give them money.

FATHER JOE: They should have watched their dog more closely. I feel sorry for the puppies, but it is not necessarily a sin to put down animals. In any case, your son is not complicit with their act. He is not responsible for what they do.
Kaela, on December 27, 2015 at 7:34 pm said:

Since I was a child I had issues. I constantly had terrible nightmares and had trouble sleeping, even if I did sleep i’d be tortured by the nightmares. I felt like I had no control over myself and I’d do things I never wanted to do but I did it anyway, all I know is really bad thoughts just get in my mind. Well, really violent thoughts even though I am naturally a peaceful person. I constantly saw strange figures and always felt watched by something that seems to scare me. In my nightmares its always blood red eyes looking at me and I’d just panic and not know what to do. I said things that I didn’t mean, I did things I didn’t want to do. My cat was scared of me and disliked me the most, when he is usually a friendly cat. I even had a thought of murdering my mother but, it didn’t feel like me. And my friend seems to think I am possessed. Are they possibly right?

FATHER JOE: I am not clear about what you are saying. Did you lack control in the real world or in the dream world? The will is compromised when we sleep. Are you possessed? It is more likely you have certain emotional and psychological issues to work out.
Tony, on December 26, 2015 at 3:59 pm said:

Dear Father,
I work in a new company where I am reponsible for a project. One of the persons who help me have been evaluated as not capable of running the project. This evaluation was already given to the CEO before i joined this company. In fact, I joined the company for that reason. I worked with this guy for few months. He is a hard working person but has a major problem and is that he makes lot of mistakes. I have been asked to evaluate him and I said what I believe was true. Based on what I said, in addition to the previous evaluations, the CEO took the decision to stop him from work with a notice of 3 months. I believe guilty, especialy that he is married and has one child in an expensive school. He will find himself without work, in a country where we are all just residents, and with his child that has to stay in school. I feel guilty because of what I said and lead to this situation. Also I blamed him several times for his mistakes which he sure did not do on purpose. I feel also guilty about that. How can we be christians and act like a true one in such society where money become so important. Should I feel guilty. Please advise. Thank you

FATHER JOE: Job performance evaluations are what they are. I understand you feel guilty but you tried to be truthful. Honesty is important too. Can some effort be made to help him find employment elsewhere? Is there something he would be better equipped to do?
Anati, on December 26, 2015 at 6:41 am said:

Merry Christmas Father, not so sure if there is a biblical answer to this question…We had dinner with my sister and brother in law for Christmas today…He is a Ordained Prophet of a International Ministry..they also both Pastor many Ministries…at they end of dinner He proposed having Communion which He said He was lead to offer..considering the true, meaning of Christmas is to Commune with God through Jesus….He was very respectful in. the invitation..my husband and adult two children, declined politly…and He genuinely honored our response….please give me some insite….Thank you…lost in Religion….

FATHER JOE: The true meaning of Christmas is that God comes down from heaven and enters the human family so that we might be able to go to heaven and be divinized by grace. Jesus is born to die. He makes himself vulnerable to save us. He reveals to us the face of the Father. Catholics should not participate in non-Catholic communion services. In this case we are apparently dealing with what might be labeled a cult.
Tom, on December 25, 2015 at 10:47 pm said:

Greeting father Joe, and happy holidays! My question is: Can one pray to God for a wife or a husband or a girlfriend or a boyfriend?

FATHER JOE: Yes, but keep looking, too. God is not a genie who grants magic wishes. You need to do your part.
Jen Hutchinson, on December 25, 2015 at 5:20 am said:

Merry Christmas Father! I do tend to be scrupulous but because a past sin popped into my mind, I wanted to ask if you think my prior confession was valid. A few years ago, my husband and I drank way to much one evening. We have kids and our youngest was under a year at the time. Not thinking about it at the time, I went to her room later that night when she started to cry. As I was picking her up out of the crib, she slipped out of my hands and fell to the floor. Of course, I checked her out to make sure she was fine, but have never been able to let go of the guilt I felt because this happened.

My question is that when I went to confession, I confessed that I had been gluttonous through the overuse of alcohol and I added in the circumstance that this occurred while I was taking care of my small children. I didn’t, however, mention that she slipped out of my arms and fell. I thought it over before the confession and didn’t think that the accident that occurred would have been sinful? I obviously didn’t want/intend for it to occur! Of course, I was also embarrassed that this had happened and didn’t want to mention that detail if it wasn’t necessary. Would this detail have made my confession invaild?

I have since moderated my drinking tremendously and feel like this situation was a big eye opener for me.

Thank you for your time!
chinonye, on December 24, 2015 at 9:02 am said:

Hi Fr.
I want to confide in you about something that’s been bothering me. Remember when I told you about that guy that badgered me with unwanted romantic gestures? I saw him in church on sunday and didn’t say hi to him cos I was hoping he would talk to me first after our misunderstanding, he didn’t say anything, so I left.
I felt so guilty for not talking to him so I went to confession for it. Now I feel this compulsion to go to his house and apologize for everything but I feel I would be hurting my pride if I do so considering how he disrespected me each time I told him I was uncomfortable with his gestures. What is your view on this? Thanks!

FATHER JOE: Let it go.