Ask a Priest

5,442 Responses

Monica, on December 23, 2015 at 11:56 pm said:

He thinks I’m in love with him..I say that I love him..but I’m not sure..
Annette, on December 23, 2015 at 11:08 pm said:

Dear Father Joe
I had an altercation with my neighbor I don’t know him very well he just moved in he was cursing at me because I was walking up the road early in the morning and his dogs woke him up barking I took it for a while then told him what I thought before this I was in good standing with my confessions so does this knock me out of communion for midnight mass I have not been able to go to confession because of the holiday I would appreciate an answer as soon as possible thank you

FATHER JOE: A good act of contrition would probably suffice.
Monica, on December 23, 2015 at 9:49 pm said:

Dear Father Joe,

is it a sin to say to a person that you love him (I love him like a person not sure if I love him more than a friend) but you know that this person will think you love him more than a friend? is it a big sin and do I need to go to confesion because I was a few days ago…

FATHER JOE: I really don’t know what you mean. Do you love him or not?
Dellenite, on December 23, 2015 at 6:38 pm said:

Is charity a moral obligation if you’re going to be Catholic? Can I pick and choose when its best to be charitable with my heart? Can I take credit for being a great Catholic if I don’t care about anyone who doesn’t best serve my own self interest? What does any of this have to do with moral relativism? I don’t that God meant the eye of a needle or turn the cheek or love your enemies, I think there is a choose your own adventure , unless that’s wrong and there’s someone out there who acts on that and doesn’t just say so

FATHER JOE: Charity or love is essential to the Christian vocation. Ours is a faith lived out through obedience in love. We are called to love as our Lord does, in a sacrificial way. It is not enough to love one and to hate another. The love or charity of Christ would have us love those who are hard to love. We are to love those who hate us. We are to forgive those who hurt us. Self-preoccupation works against the self-donation demanded by the Gospel. Often moral relativism is linked to making excuses for selfishness or placing the ways of men over the commands of God. I cannot figure what you mean by “choose your own adventure.” Our particular vocations and challenges may vary; but all of us are called to follow in the way of Christ as his disciples.
Wonderingteen, on December 21, 2015 at 8:49 pm said:

Dear Father Joe,

I’m a 15 year old girl who is afraid of being sent to hell because of pretty bad sins I have committed in the past. I have repented and asked for forgiveness from the Lord and Jesus, and I haven’t repeated those sins ever since I found out what I was doing was wrong. However, I feel like my faith in Jesus isn’t as strong as I want it to be as I still have the fear of being sent to hell because of the sins I have committed. Also, is it a sin to commit a sin I didn’t know was wrong?

FATHER JOE: If you do not know that something is wrong then its commission is not sinful. Sin must be willful and the subject must be aware of the wrong. Trust God. Love the Lord and know that he loves you. Be not afraid.
Tom Kildare, on December 20, 2015 at 1:47 am said:

Many Thanks 😊 for your reply Father but there cannot be two realities. God is the ultimate reality. Reality is the One Divine Eternal Thought begotten of the Father expressed in Eternal love. Divine Justice is completely ignored in the Catholic Church. What a terrible price sinners pay with out really thinking 😔 for sin. Hate to blame anyone but I must really blame the priesthood for representing the Eternal Justice as as a being that has no power no personality. A Divine Trinity so in need of love that they will tolerate any kind of behavior. This makes a mockery of the Divine Essence.Father to my terrible regret what went out of my thinking and modern preaching is the idea once a murderer always a murderer once a thief always a thief once an adulterer always an adulterer. Father we look to you for Eternal Life in Christ but what a legacy most of us will carry in to Eternal Life because Divine Mercy the Divine Personality is represented as a Being who will tolerate any kind of behavior because the Divine Essence is so fearful of losing our love . Heaven without Divine Justice would be hell. Father in your power is the source of Eternal Life in Christ I for one would like to receive Eternal Life in Christ from you. This is the Essence of your Creative Power as a Father.No wonder Satan hates you for he is the Father of lies the first Liberal who said to Eve it doesn’t matter what you do for you shall be like God if you listen to my word. Father I know my soul is deformed because I had no fear 😱 of Divine Justice and modern youth laugh’s at Divine Mercy because they have no fear whatsoever of Divine Justice. God Bless you Father love ❤ you at peace in arms of Martha and Mary some of my Favourite Saints.May Divine Love ❤ light your way your countenance may you be a living fountain ⛲ of Divine Life to all who look to you may I in Heaven thank you 😊 praise you and call you Father the source of my Eternal in Jesus Christ.God Bless you Father this day and always.❤

FATHER JOE:

Your argument fails to make use of accepted definitions to terms, either philosophical or theological. The Judeo-Christian appreciation of creation is one where there are overlapping realities, not contradictory ones. There is both a spiritual and a material dimension. God exists outside of time and creates everything from nothing. He creates spiritual and material creatures. There is a hierarchy of being that must be respected: pure spirits (angels), spiritual-material composites (human beings), material creatures: animals, plants, and rocks. Everything that exists receives its existence from God. The created order is utterly dependent upon the Creator. More than an intelligent designer, he is the ground of being, sustaining all things. It is in this sense that God is always creating you. If he were to forget you, even for a moment, then you would cease to ever have existed. Fortunately, such annihilation is contrary to the divine economy. God does not forget. What God creates, he creates.

The analogy of the Trinity is a way of understanding God but it is merely scratching the surface. God does not create himself, he simply is. God is the great TO BE or ESSE. The analogy you misunderstand is derived from both St. Thomas Aquinas and St. Augustine. Human psychology and personhood is used to better appreciate the Trinity. God the Father perfectly knows himself from all eternity. In doing so he generates the eternal Word. It is this Word that takes human flesh and becomes MAN (Jesus Christ). God communicates himself, not merely upon the pages of the Bible, but in human flesh. He takes to himself a human body and a human soul. However, Christ remains a divine Person. The third Person of the Blessed Trinity is generated by the eternal good will or LOVE between the Father and Son. Before anything came to be, there was the mystery of God the Trinity. God was not compelled to create but did so out of love that we might know him and love him back in return. He wants to share life with us.

Your posts posit a heresy called pantheism. Creation or the universe is NOT identical with an encompassing immanent deity. Regarding this, it is you that strips away personhood from the Divine Justice.

Divine Justice is not ignored by the Church; indeed, we view Christ as both the Divine Justice (the Pantocrator) and the Divine Mercy. That is plenty of personality and proves that you really do not know what you are talking about. Sin cries out for punishment. We are reminded of the four last things: HEAVEN, HELL, DEATH and JUDGMENT. None deserve to be saved and yet Jesus gives us the ministry of reconciliation. He came to forgive sins. Is it this mercy that you find objectionable? If so then your fight is not with me but with the Jesus who reveals himself in the inspired Scriptures.

God is not fearful of forfeiting our love. But ours is the God that saves. He made us for himself. If you reject this then your calumny against priests and the Church will also logically remain to damn you. Instead, the Church would echo the ancient cry of John the Baptist and Christ: REPENT and BELIEVE! Heaven is the Beatific Vision. Heaven is to live within the Trinity forever. Justice would condemn us. Mercy brings forgiveness. We can be transformed or changed or made righteous. It is not merely a matter of juridical imputation as argued by Luther. We can be made brand new. Such is the immense power of God. Adam and Eve fell but they were among the ancient dead visited by Christ when he descended into hell or the limbo of the fathers. They have now been translated into heaven and this abode of the dead no longer exists. When the judgment day comes, Purgatory will cease and there will only be Heaven and Hell.

Believe in the Bible and the Catechism and put confused speculation behind you. Peace!
Diana Strauss, on December 19, 2015 at 11:17 pm said:

Hello,

I know this is a busy time for you, but when you have a chance, could you tell me – do Christmas trees have any religious significance or basis? And the myth of Santa Claus?

Best wishes for an enjoyable and spiritually uplifting holiday.

FATHER JOE: Yes, Christmas Trees are Christian symbols. The evergreen points to the mystery of everlasting life in Christ. Place a star or angel and other religious decorations on it and the meaning becomes even more clear.
Tom Kildare, on December 17, 2015 at 7:53 pm said:

My question is this. We are constantly told that God is Merciful but this is impossible for how can mercy exist within the Triune God who is the only reality. All Creation is but nothing reflecting the reality of God. Creation is like a mirror reflecting Divine Reality it is not God. Then as God is ultimate reality and as any of the Glorious beautiful awesome Divine Persons do not need mercy how can mercy exists within the Divine Essence. Then mercy as practiced by modern man is only a mockery a term used to make Divine Justice meaningless for ultimately God is Divine Justice

FATHER JOE:

The Triune God is NOT the only reality. God is the Creator and he brings all things into existence from nothingness. Everything that exists does so in participation and dependence upon him. However, while God keeps what he has created in existence, he cannot be identified in a pantheistic way with creation. God did not have to create us. God is IN his creation but he CANNOT BE IDENTIFIED with creation. There is no absolute necessity. God freely created us. God shows mercy to created beings. He forgives sins and grants us a share of eternal life with him. His mercy is demonstrated also in the goods of creation that God grants us. Mercy is unwarranted. Sin brought suffering and death into the world. Because of human disobedience there is disharmony in creation and punishment. But God gives a promise of redemption and restitution.

Jesus reveals that God is both Divine Justice and Divine Mercy. He is the just judge. He is also compassionate to all his creatures. He forgives the contrite, even though we do not deserve it. God is good. The privation and rebellion of evil comes from our side of the equation. God is all good. We are not.
chinonye, on December 16, 2015 at 9:21 am said:

Hi Fr.
Please can you recommend for me Bible passages that I can read and reflect on, which will enable me to focus more on God as a loving Father rather than a stern judge. I would appreciate Old and New Testament passages. Thanks!

FATHER JOE: You want a lot from a busy priest preparing for Christmas. Sorry… no time. See the first of three litanies: https://bloggerpriest.com/2015/12/14/scriptural-litany-of-mercy-1/
Arnau, on December 15, 2015 at 3:50 pm said:

I am a student, and a few months ago I started dating a girl. My mother does not approve of our relationship, since my girlfriend suffers from an autoimmune disease for which there is no cure. There is a chance that she may end up in a wheelchair one day, but it is not certain. My mother is worried that I fell in love with this girl because of her condition, because I feel sorry for her. And, above all, she is worried I won’t be able to deal with my girlfriend’s condition should her health take turn for the worse. My arguments are different. I fell in love with her because of who she is, and because I know she would be there for me in my time of need. I don’t want her illness to come between us, I don’t think it’s an excuse. I want to try and see where our relationship takes us. Maybe we will break up, maybe we will marry, I can’t know that right now. I want to give it (us) a shot, but I also don’t want to do something that would be a sin towards my mother. It would be really helpful to know an answer- or even a rough guideline, in this situation. Do I listen to my mother, who wants best for me, or should I do my best with this girl, and see where it takes us? The are verses in the Bible, like Collosians 3:20, and others, that seem to “side” with parents, but am I reading those correctly? I would like to hear your opinion. Thank you.

FATHER JOE: How old are you? If you are an adult then your life is your own.
Monica, on December 15, 2015 at 11:08 am said:

I went to the store to buy some simple things and I didn’t actually heard the price right but I gave enough….and the girl gave me the change…I think she gave me too much…because I should have spent 1,25 dollars.
I didn’t really now but I thought I had to spend 1,25…I gave her 1,20 and then + 0,10 but she said enough and gave me 0,50+ back…I took it and put it in me wallet…and didn’t actually looked how exactly did she gave back..now I feel bad…did I do wrong..I’m not sure… I feel she made a mistake..Is it stealing?? I don’t know..I think she gave too much back…and I fell bad because I didn’t say anything at that time…is it a sin…?

FATHER JOE: She gave you money back and you had no intent to steal. Sin requires an evil intent. If you feel bad about it, make restitution; but it does not sound like it was your fault. Indeed, there still seems to be some confusion on your part. Could you be wrong?
Andy, on December 14, 2015 at 2:34 pm said:

A am not religious but my brother is becoming a priest and would like to get him a present he would appreciate but have no idea what. Any ideas?

FATHER JOE: It somewhat depends upon what he already has. Sick call sets (Pyx, sprinkler, stole, oil stock) are popular. Travel Mass kits are nice but expensive. Congratulations to him!
Horse351@localnet.com, on December 13, 2015 at 11:46 pm said:

A catholic dies from not eating or drinking what happens to his soul.

FATHER JOE: His soul is judged by God. Are you speaking a about a person who deliberately starves himself to death? People can also suffer thirst and hunger through torture and poverty. Those who hunger-fast for a cause usually still take water (and sometimes bread).
Paulie, on December 13, 2015 at 4:39 pm said:

How can I glorify God, Jesus, and the Church or even spread the good news through my own skills in Blackjack and Poker?

FATHER JOE: I take it you are trying to be funny. But here are a couple of pertinent links:

http://www.amazon.com/Christian-Miraculous-Virgin-Mary-Playing/dp/B012FRKF9G/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1450041924&sr=8-2&keywords=catholic+playing+cards
Hyunjin, on December 13, 2015 at 1:39 am said:

Hi Father,

I know that when I am in heaven, God will be my primary focus of love – but what about my relationship with the other members of heaven (members other than God)?

Is it correct to say that when I am in heaven, I will have a deep, intimate and fulfilling friendship with each other member of heaven, kind of like the friendship that people would have with their my best friend in earthy terms?

FATHER JOE: See the recent responses…

Ask a Priest

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Zac, on December 12, 2015 at 6:22 pm said:

Dear father
Please help me I am in a very difficult situation
I love a girl who is from a different relegion (Hindu)
and i have heard that it is a sin to marry someone who is an unbeliever of Christ but I think i can persuade her to convert and she will agree for it as well
They say God is where Love is
but this is a very uncertain situation for me father
so father i wanted to ask whether i am doing anyhing wrong and is there any way to make our relationship successfull because i love her very much.

thank you father

FATHER JOE:

I know of marriages between Catholics Hindus, but they are not easily accomplished. Marriages outside the Church are sinful. It may be possible to marry her in the Church. Two ceremonies are forbidden.

Where do you live? Some countries do not have religious liberty and would make it illegal for her to convert. She should want to become a Catholic because she believes in Jesus and the Church, not simply because she wants to marry you.

A dispensation would require a promise from you to raise any and all children as Catholic.

Marriages are based upon more than romantic love. Do not be hasty. Talk to a local priest.
Veronica P, on December 12, 2015 at 4:25 pm said:

Hi, I am writing an essay about the Gifts of the Holy Spirit. I understand what they are and how we receive them but if you are not Catholic can you still receive the gifts or do you have to be baptized to have the gifts.

FATHER JOE: We become temples of the Holy Spirit in baptism. We become Christians. Confirmation is a more full share of this Spirit. The acquisition of the gifts of the Holy Spirit depend upon DISPOSITION. What does this mean? The gifts of the Holy Spirit are granted to CHRISTIANS who are in a STATE OF GRACE (righteousness before God and not mortal sin).
R. J. Mattes, Jr, on December 12, 2015 at 1:53 pm said:

Thank you. Quite confusing. I thought maybe it meant they were validly ordained bishops, due all the rights and privileges but without assigned dioceses,therefore unable to perform the the functions of an ordinary such as Confirmations and ordinations.
Stay well and thanks again.

12Dec. Our Lady of Guadalupe
Connie Korot, on December 12, 2015 at 2:27 am said:

Dear Fr., my question is rather a simple one. I am disabled and do not drive. Due to these two things I cannot attend Mass. I do watch Mass being celebrated on EWTN. Is that satisfactory or am I living in mortal sin?

FATHER JOE: You can only do what you can do. Issues like age, health and transportation mitigate the requirement for Mass attendance. The Sunday Mass on EWTN was precisely for people like you. It does not satisfy the requirement but helps in allowing a spiritual communion. Contact your local parish so that they might monthly bring the Eucharist to you.
R. J. Mattes, Jr, on December 11, 2015 at 4:01 pm said:

11Dec.’15, St. Damasus,PC, Feria Advent
Sedes Sapientiae

Dear Father: Could you please clarify the following statement regarding canon law, Archbishop Lefebvre’s ordination of four bishops without Vatican approval and The Society of St.Pius X. The “canonical excommunication for the illicit ordinations has been lifted from the bishops,” the “sacramental de facto excommunication for schism remains.” Exactly, in laymen terms, what does this mean? Thank you.

FATHER JOE: It was Cardinal Müller who stated: “The canonical excommunication for the illicit ordinations has been lifted from the bishops, but the sacramental de facto excommunication for schism remains; they have departed from communion with the Church.” What does it mean? Honestly, I am not sure. My suspicion is that he means they are for all practical purposes excommunicated without being officially labeled excommunicated. But is this even currently true given that Pope Francis (labeled by them as a Modernist) extended faculties to them to hear Confessions during the Jubilee Year of Mercy?
Janet, on December 10, 2015 at 9:19 pm said:

Father just going back to my email of 9 December re taking communion in a Protestant church. Although this happened in June last year, should I confess it now or has Jesus forgiven me.

FATHER JOE: I answered already that while it was wrong, you must know it was wrong to commit a sin. If you knew it were wrong then YES confess it. If you did not, then you now know better. Peace!
Sarah, on December 10, 2015 at 8:44 pm said:

Re: Vatican jurisdiction over priests worldwide: I can hear your logic. Thanks
The Manang, on December 10, 2015 at 6:04 pm said:

What about offenses that require justice? Can we forgive and still demand justice?

I was watching a documentary program on TV. The man’s daughter was raped and murdered. He said he knows that God can forgive, but he cannot forgive.

I get where the man is coming from. The criminals went into hiding and even if they surrendered themselves, surely he can’t just forgive and let them go.

The reason why I am asking this is because there are also instances in my life when it were difficult to forgive (although the man’s situation is a million times more difficult than mine).

It makes me angrier when the offender wouldn’t even admit his sin. However, I also think about my own sins. Maybe there are times when I offended God without my knowing so in return, I still believe I must forgive so that God will also forgive me.

Father Joe, I would like to know the Catholic meaning of forgiveness.

Isn’t it meaningless and insincere when we simply forgive and not make the offender pay for his sin?

When we forgive, do we cancel the “debt” as if nothing happened?

If I make the offender pay for his sin, does it mean that I did not really forgive?

I also read somewhere that even if I confess my sins, I would still go to Purgatory. Is it true?

Thank you, Father Joe!

FATHER JOE:

The Catholic notion of judgment after death acknowledges the ramifications of justice, mercy and charity. The damned of hell receive the full blunt of divine justice. The souls of purgatory know divine mercy but must still endure purification by fire due to venial sins and the temporal punishment due because of sin. None deserve to be saved, but God gifts the blessed with the joy of heaven because he loves us.

We can learn from this. Loving someone does not mean excusing fault without penalty. The Church speaks of such punishment in terms of PENANCE. Even with Confession, sometimes people are required to make restitution and amends to those harmed.

Loving and forgiving someone must not be absolutely equated with feelings or emotions. Forgiving someone means wanting them to find healing and a change of life. Just punishments are often necessary to make this happen. Sometimes the offer of forgiveness or mercy and is rejected and the person remains in his sins. But just making the effort makes the person who wants to forgive into a living manifestation of divine mercy. The person we forgive might still suffer hell but the person forgiving is graced by the effort. But it is possible that the offer will be accepted. We might never “like” the person who hurt us or someone we loved, but we can pray that he will change his ways and will not suffer damnation. The failure to love and forgive is realized by either apathy (indifference) or by the curse.
Janet, on December 9, 2015 at 10:46 am said:

Father I wrote to you on 6 December. Hopefully you can refer to it.

I wanted to add that since he married a woman that is of a different faith (Church of Christ) 12 years ago, he has been going to that church.

I have another question though & that is when we visited them we went to their church service.

They were handing out bread & grape juice as their Communion & I actually took it. Was that a sin?

FATHER JOE: You must know something is sinful to commit a sin. However, from the Church’s perspective, it is wrong and you should not do it. Catholics are not permitted to take communion in Protestant churches.
Sarah, on December 9, 2015 at 5:11 am said:

In regard to the Vatican re: information leakers and pedophile priests; with no disrespect intended, Father, your answer seems like a bit of a loophole, allowing the Vatican to avoid responsibility for it’s priests, for whom it seems they should be morally, if not legally responsible. What is the procedure today if a priest is suspected of improper behavior? Does the Vatican not get involved at all? The bishop of his diocese? Or is it left totally in the hands of the secular authorities?

FATHER JOE: Few priests belong directly to the Vatican and most of them are diplomats with dual citizenship. For instance, I have pledged obedience to the Archbishop of Washington and am a United States citizen. The Vatican would not even know who I am. The local Church (diocese) can enact ecclesial sanctions (like the removal of faculties) but there is little else. The Pope has a certain direct say about priests in the Archdiocese of Rome, but most of them are Italian citizens. If a priest is suspected of breaking the law, it remains with civil officials to both investigate and to take direct action. The Vatican has a small temporary jail but the Church worldwide does not and it would be illegal if we tried. The Vatican hands suspected local criminals to the Italian government. Civil authorities render punishment (like incarceration) to the guilty. (Current guidelines and secular laws mandate that the bishops and others must report credible allegations of criminal priests to civil authorities for investigation.) The priest is answerable to his bishop, to whom he has pledged obedience. Even the Pope as the Bishop of Rome must respect the jurisdiction of other bishops. Priests are censured by their Ordinaries (Bishops and Religious Superiors). A priest can appeal to Rome if he feels he has been treated unjustly. Then the Vatican can offer various censures or guidance. If a priest is found guilty of criminal behavior, his bishop can appeal to Rome that the priest be laicized. However, if that is done then we usually forfeit all contact with the priest and his whereabouts. Again, the Vatican has no legal jurisdiction over the citizens of other countries. The Vatican cannot civilly punish Catholic bishops, priests, deacons, religious or laity. Priests do not surrender American citizenship. There is no extra-territorial jurisdiction. The Vatican can remove bishops from their offices if they are found guilty of heresy or pastoral corruption. But the evidence must be decisive. And that is about all they can do. What exactly would you propose the Vatican should do? How much authority would you give the Pope over Catholics around the world? Do not be fooled. Attacks against the papacy on this issue are less about justice and more about a hatred of and anger toward the Church. Critics will take every opportunity to criticize the papacy… even if such arguments infringe upon both personal civil liberties and religious liberty. Any civil authority given popes over priests would necessarily include all Catholics. Current rhetoric in this regard against Moslems is similar to such charges by the anti-Catholics of over a century ago. Think it through. Peace!