Ask a Priest

5,442 Responses

Tanja, on June 19, 2015 at 10:44 pm said:

Good Evening Father Joe,

I’m sorry for asking such a question but I don’t know how to deal with it. I’ve gone through a lot in my life, along with mental disorders. And I’ve sinned gravely repeatedly for years— masturbation. I knew it was a sin, and I don’t like it. However, I couldn’t stop because of depression and a lot of pain in my soul. I had no other way to stop my pain. I am deeply ashamed to have done this as a female. I thought I could never tell a man or future husband what I’ve done. Could you answer me sincerely as a Pastor following Christ, should I rather go to monastery, because I think maybe I’m not pure enough because of my sins to build up a family? Maybe if a man sinned the same way that’s more normal? I did not think this was a sin for a female. I didn’t believe the church. I did have negative associations with it and thought the church wanted to control us through forbidding such things. So I tested doing it and did not stop. I’m very sorry. Towards men, I have high wish to be pure. I don’t talk about former sins. I want to meet people who believe what is good. I wanted to stay pure until marriage and who deeply regret I didn’t. But I think it would have been more normal to have boyfriends then sinning like this.
Can you tell me sincerely if this sin is a sign I should not marry a good man but go to monastery? I heard the church has such “rules” that a pure woman should marry a good man and a sinner should rather go to monastery. What is your view about that?

I would have to lie to my next husband that I have never sinned like that, because I want to be clear that I think that is a sin, and I don’t want to make myself ashamed and I don’t want to be looked at like I’m a very ugly woman. Should I keep it a secret towards my boyfriend/future husband?

Thank you very much.

FATHER JOE: How old are you? It is true that masturbation is a serious matter and might constitute mortal sin. However you note a history of mental disorders and depression. These issues might mitigate the gravity of the sin. The problem of habit is also a factor that a priest confessor would consider. One does not enter a convent or monastery to escape the world or to run away from our humanity. What country do you live in? Certain militant Moslems would condemn women for the habit with which you struggle; but they would err by castrating her from any sexual pleasure as a woman. Your female humanity is a gift from God. Yes, it is a struggle to control, and in this you are no different from other women and men. Sexual relations with a boy outside of marriage would have been worse because then you would have been an accomplice in another’s sin. Men and women should get married and live in God’s grace. Forgive yourself and continue to ask God’s help in mastering your body. Do not hate yourself. Men are rarely perfect or unscathed saints when it comes to sexual attraction; a man who loves you will understand just as he would ask for your understanding and forgiveness. God bless you!
Danielle, on June 16, 2015 at 5:46 am said:

hi father, I have a question. I want to know how I can argue against abortion. Many people ask me “well what if the girl is raped , would you want her to suffer or what if she can’t afford the doctor bills.” I want to know what a good answer to these type of questions would be.

FATHER JOE: I have a nephew born to a teen mother after a purported rape. She adopted him out to my sister-in-law. I would ask them if they could look him in the eyes and tell him straight to his face that he should never have been born. There are plenty of people who will pay the doctor bills and more. It is not compassion to murder children.
Jody, on June 15, 2015 at 2:50 pm said:

Two years ago I had surgery to repair a broken back. I had serious damage to my sciatic nerves. I knew that even with the surgery I might lose the ability to walk. While still hospitalized I awoke in the middle of the night to such pain in my right leg that my whole body seemed paralyzed. I knew in my heart that the nerve was failing. It was the middle of the night. I couldn’t reach my call button or even yell out. Then my friend, Diana, appeared in my room. She was suddenly right in my face saying, “It’s going to be alright.” Then she or somebody was by my leg and lifted it. As soon as the hands touched me, all pain left and was replaced with a euphoric feeling. The feeling was so amazing I can’t describe it. I think that if Heaven were a feeling this would be it. Then my friend was just gone. My question stems from the fact that when this happened my dear friend had been dead for nearly two years. My nerve healed and I amazed my doctor the next day with how strong my leg was. My son thinks that it wasn’t Diana that came to me, but an angel disguised as her. Diana was a devout woman and the kindest person I ever met. Is it possible she is a Saint and was sent to help me, or could it only have been an angel. Also while the healing was happening I was told to make 3 quilts for people with cancer. I made then during my recovery from the surgery. The three people they were given to had miracles. And during my encounter I was told 3 times to look at the clock. For some reason it’s important that it was 1:30. Please know that I am thankful for the blessing if it was Diana or an Angel. I suppose God can send whoever he wants. I think about it a lot. What are your thoughts? Thank you.

FATHER JOE: God is good. Miracles do happen.
Joseph Hill, on June 14, 2015 at 8:53 pm said:

Hi Father,

I have a quick question about the 54 day rosary novena devotion.

Does the 54 day rosary novena devotion believe that if we devoutly pray 3 rosary novenas for petition and 3 novenas for thanksgiving, then Mary will intercede all our petitions and intentions to Jesus?

I am not trying to discuss whether the devotion is true or false, I just need clarification on what the devotion is believing in.

Thank you,

Joseph

FATHER JOE: Sorry, I know nothing about it. Here is a link to EWTN:

http://www.ewtn.com/vexperts/showmessage.asp?number=498546
Ana, on June 13, 2015 at 5:04 pm said:

Father,

God the Father really confuses and scares me. All through the Old Testsment, He’s punishing people who did bad with bad things, or just let good people have a lot of bad happen to them just so He can cure them, getting their adoration for Himself. My father did that too. He did bad things Like my uncle, but where my uncle was mean and angry, he’d cry and ask me to love him.

When can I know I’ve been punished enough? When is it not gonna hurt anymore?

-Ana

FATHER JOE: Continue to seek counseling. A past abusive relationship wrongly colors your view of God the Father. As for the Old Testament, remember that people see and describe God according to their world view. God deserves all the praise. While God is a profound mystery, the Scriptures both give revelation about him and reflect something about the people he called.
Simon, on June 13, 2015 at 1:45 pm said:

SIMON: Hello, Father! In the beginning I have to mention that I try to be a devout Catholic every day. I believe the Pope is the Father of the Church appointed by Christ. But sometimes I have those thoughts, which keep eating at me inside. I’m very sorry in advance as I know these are not appropriate thoughts for a Catholic to have. I feel guilty for that. I pray that these thoughts would go away and leave me alone; but they keep coming back (sometimes even during the Mass, which is quite frightening for me).

FATHER JOE: It is okay to ask questions. As believers, we should focus on matters of faith and seek to grow in the Lord. As for attending to the Mass and better participation at worship, maybe a better understanding of the elements and prayers of the liturgy would help keep your mind from wandering?

SIMON: I sometimes think: 1) If we are followers of Christ then as the Church teaches, we should try becoming more like Christ every day. Christ lived modestly, as we know, and even in poverty. How is it that so many people today are in hunger and poverty while Pope is an extremely rich man provided with everything that he needs. He even has (or had) a Harley-Davidson. Many people could feed their children from the money of Vatican administration. People in poverty could live for a year from the money you would get by selling a Harley-Davidson bike.

FATHER JOE: First, the Pope is “personally” very poor and most everything he has belongs to the Church. Pope Francis, in particular, has very simple tastes. Second, the motorcycle was given the Holy Father from the Harley-Davidson Company to celebrate their 110th Anniversary. The Pope sold it at auction for the Caritas Roma Charity. It went for $327,000. In addition, a Harley-Davidson motorcycle jacket signed by the pontiff sold for $77,485. Money from the sale of the two items went to benefit a hostel and soup kitchen at the Termini train station in Rome. We must be careful not to make allegations that would misjudge the Holy Father. We would not want to add our voices to those who wrongly condemn. Third, the Church is a worldwide organization and as such she must have income to sustain buildings, pay salaries and operate. While there are isolated cases of hypocrisy, many critics wrong the Church which does more globally for the oppressed, poor and hurting than any other institution.

SIMON: 2) Christ was open to everyone he met. How come it is almost impossible to meet the Pope? It seems sometimes like his time is only reserved for “more important” people. In front of God and Christ, shouldn’t every life be equally worthy?

FATHER JOE: I am perplexed by this assertion. This is the Pope that takes great personal risks in going out to people. He is only one man and there are a billion Catholics. He could never knock on every door. Are you upset that you have not met him? Do you feel that this somehow makes you unimportant? I can assure you that the Pope and the Church cares about you and everyone else. Everyone has value. All life is incommensurate. This is the Pope that washed the feet of juvenile delinquents for Holy Thursday. This is the Pope that served food at a shelter. Similarly, other Popes reached out to the crowds, kissed babies and showed that they care. The late Saint John Paul II even got shot because he wanted to be visible to his flock. Do you understand how vulnerable this makes them? As for our Lord, he did go out to the marginalized, the poor and the oppressed. But he was also silent when placed before Herod. His words might mean conversion, mercy and life. His silence passed a deadly judgment upon the tetrarch. We will all be judged. Because of this, we must all be careful in judging others. Do we have the mind and heart of Christ? Are we unselfish? Can we see past our own sins? Is our own posture that of utter humility? I would not want to judge the Holy Father either from ignorance or malice. He is Christ’s Vicar on earth.

SIMON: 3) Why is Pope dealing with politics? I understand his intentions for a better and more peaceful world but isn’t it bit unfair— in front of God’s face— to take sides? Jesus never dealt with politics— did he?

FATHER JOE: What do you think got Christ crucified? The charge is even placed over his head on the Cross, “Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews.” The crowd disowned him and shouted, “We have no king but Caesar!” Pilate was not the servant of the Jews but the procurator for the empire of Rome. When Jesus told them to love their enemies and to forgive those who hurt them, he was speaking a morality that was immediately translated into politics. After centuries of persecution, the Church would arise as the religion of the state. The Pope is the sovereign leader or head of the smallest country on earth, the Vatican, which rests in the heart of Rome. He even has his own representatives at the UN. More importantly, he is the visible head of the Catholic Church and it is vital for Christianity to make an impact upon world politics. The Church speaks against persecution, slavery, abortion, injustice, unwarranted aggression, poverty and oppressive economic systems, etc. She defends human rights, including religious liberty. Our faith must touch all the elements of human existence. We are not just Christians when within the walls of our churches. Ours is a jealous God. The testing of the coin is often misunderstood. Christ is asked if it is right to pay the tax to Rome or not. Rome was the occupying power and government. Jesus never answers the question but takes a coin and asks, whose face is upon it? The people answer, “Caesar.” He says, “Then give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar but give to God what belongs to God.” Ask yourself, what belongs to God? The answer is everything. It is wrong to expect the Pope and the Church to stay out of politics. There may be a separation of Church and state (in terms of a national religion), but they should still work for the common good. It would make no sense for the Church to remain passive or silent, especially as our religious liberty is being compromised both here in the U.S. and around the globe. The Church must have a voice and a part to play in the public forum.

SIMON: 4) Pope should be a servant like Christ used to be and actually on that one I am quite happy with current Pope Francis who seems to be very humble and willing to serve. But still, the Pope is being praised like a rock star. Is that really something that Jesus or St. Peter would have wanted?

FATHER JOE: Jesus was pursued by vast crowds and they cried Hosanna when he entered Jerusalem. While some would turn against him, he was the celebrity or rock star of his time. Thousands wanted to see and hear him. Vast throngs of people sought him for healing. Have you never read the Gospels? Jesus called Peter or the ROCK of his Church and gave him the keys to the kingdom. He is made the chief shepherd. Tradition gives him the title, “Servant of the Servants of God.” As this unique shepherd, the honor given the Pope reflects upon the dignity and place of our Lord, Jesus. The Pope is Christ’s instrument of universality and order in the world.

SIMON: As I mentioned earlier, I know that those thoughts are condemned.

FATHER JOE: I would not use the word “condemned.” Ours is a faith seeking understanding. We seek to root out ignorance and bigotry. Only you can answer the quandary as to whether there is a hidden animus against the Holy Father and the Church? If there is resentment, from where does it originate?

SIMON: But I can’t seem to get rid of them. Maybe if I could get rational answers for these questions, then perhaps with the help of God those would leave me alone.

FATHER JOE: I cannot say what the cause of your issues might be. But we should never be a people who resent the authority and popularity of the Pope. Critics of this sort often display a poor sense of self-worth and want to feel more important themselves. Maybe they are rash and quick to judge others? In any case, I hope the response here helps.

SIMON: Thank you, Father! And please pray for me! Sincerely yours, Simon

FATHER JOE: You are welcome. Peace!
Esbee, on June 13, 2015 at 7:21 am said:

Hello! I have a question. My parents abused me and each other all the way through the end of my time in high school. I have to spend some time under their roof again, and I go about my day carrying a sense of dread and sadness in the pit of my stomach. I have tried many, many times to forgive them. It is the hardest thing I have ever attempted, and when I think all the ways they’ve messed me up, and messed my life up, and messed each other up, I grow incredibly sad. I don’t know what God is doing in my life right now. Lots is going on besides that, and I feel pretty lost. Is forgiveness always the answer? How could I possibly forgive and forget something that shaped who I am, that sprung an eating disorder and occasional depression? Does God care?
Thank you for your time. I apologize for the above essay.

FATHER JOE: There is so much missing that I am at a loss at responding. How old are you now? What type of abuse was it? If criminal then you definitely should not return to being under their roof. Has there been family counseling? Was there admission of guilt? Was there repentance and reconciliation? Has anything changed? If you are returning to an abusive situation then it is no wonder that you are upset. Forgiveness does not mean being foolish or allowing ourselves to be victimized.
Alice, on June 12, 2015 at 11:08 pm said:

Am I able to marry a chicken nugget?

FATHER JOE: Why the flippancy Alice J.? You might think it funny, but it is only demonstrative of immaturity. Maybe you need to talk to a priest locally in the UK about your attitude? I will pray for you.
glo, on June 12, 2015 at 6:53 pm said:

Dear Fr Joe,
I read of our Lady’s messages(fatima,lourdes,etc) and our Lord’s too(st margaret mary,st faustina,etc). They all call for reparation and doing penance. I would appreciate your advice on how a catholic can practically respond to these calls.
Thanks in advance fr.

FATHER JOE: Obviously there are prayers for reparation like the Litany to the Sacred Heart. We are also familiar with practices of mortification (fasting and abstinence). But I would highly urge three other things: Penance, Eucharist and Service (Charity).
Jack Dodgers, on June 12, 2015 at 1:07 am said:

Dear Father, my name is Jack McKinstry. I am a year 12 student from Good Counsel College in Far North Queensland. If it is no hassle, I would like to ask you a few questions about the relevance of evolution to modern day Catholics. Your answers would be greatly appreciated.

Firstly, do you have any particular stance in regards to the evolutionary hypothesis? Does it contradict the book of Genesis? Author Father Seraphim Rose states that: “In a sense, none of us knows how to approach this book [Genesis]… …We inevitably come to this book with preconceived notions.”

FATHER JOE: Catholicism does not insist upon a fundamentalist or literal interpretation of Genesis. God’s days are not our days. The Bible teaches us “how to go to heaven, not how the heavens go.” This is not new because even the Jews and the early Christian fathers spoke about allegorical appreciations of certain parts of Scripture. Further, ours is not a blind faith but a “faith seeking understanding.” Catholicism has always believed in the complementarity of truth: science, philosophy and theology are interweaved. They are distinct disciplines answering particular questions, facets of the truth. Thus, is the earth 6,000 years old (literally biblical view) or 4.5 billion (archeological)? It is more likely the latter.

Is Genesis – to you – a literal description of the origin of man? Or perhaps its meaning is metaphorical?

FATHER JOE: Genesis teaches us that there is a Creator and that the disharmony we know (evil, suffering and death) is on our side of the equation, the rebellion of man. Actually, there are two stories of creation in Genesis, showing that the biblical authors and the Hebrews were teaching about their relationship with God and the world, not giving a news account of creation. Evolution theorizes that the bodies of modern human beings evolved from lower forms of creatures. Most in the Church would not have a problem with this. However, Pope Pius XII insisted that the immaterial human soul was directly infused into the first human beings and did not evolve. This conflicts with Darwin who believed the soul evolved. Modern scientists really do not talk about the soul as part of their area of expertise.

Secondly, do you agree with the majority of schools teaching evolution in class textbooks? Most subjects assume the model of a very old Earth (for example, physics and half lives; geography and land forms/geological eras).

FATHER JOE: I have no issue with evolution taught in schools. The same consideration would be given to theories about the beginning of the universe like the big bang. What upsets me is that it often becomes the soapbox from which certain teachers promote atheism. We have narrowed the scope of truth and education by denying mention of creationism and the study of the ultimate questions (philosophy). Catholicism would argue the existence of God from intelligent design. Also, religion is part of culture and yet the separation of church and state adds to an ignorance about faith and its traditional role in society. It upsets me that this part of our understanding and identity is censored out of education as if unimportant. It makes us all the poorer as a people.

And finally, do you personally believe that evolutionary theory is relevant to a majority of Catholic followers? Perhaps, as said by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, religion and science are complementary; not contradictory.

FATHER JOE: Teilhard de Chardin was a paleontologist and philosopher. Some critics are harsh and would label him a mediocre scientist and an even worse theologian. He was always quick in his assumptions and made leaps of judgment without evidence. He ultimately argues for a spiritual-scale evolution leading to what he called the cosmic Christ. It is here that he was censured by the Church. I doubt we shall see his version of a transubstantiated universe.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and again, your answers would aid me immensely in my report. Yours Truly, Jack
Alice Kowalski, on June 11, 2015 at 5:35 pm said:

I’ve wanted to say the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy, but I have a problem with the words, “I offer You the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your dearly beloved Son….” How can I offer His Body and Blood when It is not mine to give? At least this is how I feel. How can I give something that is God’s? Or does this sentence have some other meaning that I don’t understand? Would you explain this prayer to me? Thanks, much appreciated.

FATHER JOE:

I must first admit that the Divine Mercy devotion is not a favorite of mine. We only have so much time and I have a preference for the Rosary and the Litany and Consecration to the Sacred Heart. There seems to be a kinship between the Sacred Heart and the Divine Mercy devotions, but I prefer an emphasis upon the wounds of Christ and the image of our Lord’s heart surrounded by thorns, marked by the Cross, set on fire for love of you and me and pierced for all the sins of the world. While both the Divine Mercy prayers and the Hail Mary of the Rosary are repetitive, the meditations associated with each Rosary decade gives it more meditative substance (at least for me) and focus less on what some might perceive as a mechanical mantra. With all these qualifications aside, there is no longer a ban or warning about the devotion and it has been given the green light or blessing of the universal Church. Saint John Paul II was particularly instrumental in this effort. Given this approval, what are we to make of the prayer you cite?

First, Christ is ours in that he signifies the entire human race. He is the new Adam who dies so that we might live. His sacrifice has an eternal and comprehensive significance. He is the one Mediator. There is no other Redeemer, no other “way” to the Father but through him. Thus, in a spiritual sense, we reference again and again his onetime self-donation. This intimacy is further heightened by the mystery of the Mystical Body. When we offer Christ, we are also offering ourselves. Second, these words of private revelation and devotion are inextricably linked to the overall faith and sacramental life of the Church. It is at the Mass that we explicitly offer the gift of Christ to the Father for the atonement of sins. God gives us grain and grapes. Men transform these by the work of human hands into bread and wine. Men give these as gifts back to God. At Mass God returns them to us through the consecration into the body and blood of Christ. Then we offer our Lord back to the Father. The Mass is often imaged as a bridal banquet. Christ is the divine groom and his bride is the Church. This is another level of intimacy in this donation of Christ and us. Spouses pour their very selves into one another. They belong to each other. There is a profound union. The Divine Mercy prayer acknowledges this human-divine interplay.
Blagoje Divljan, on June 10, 2015 at 11:11 pm said:

Thank you very much for your patience 🙂 I’ve read your other responses to people in real need, and I see that you honestly care about their problems and I really respect that. I have great respect for all the traditions as long as they have a noble goal to help people help and care for each other. I wouldn’t bother you any more with my earlier question, but I would like to ask another one if I may, and I wouldn’t hold a grudge if you don’t answer it since it’s not concerning my problems religious nor otherwise.

I presume that you have great experience doing your duty as a priest, and excuse me for being potentially nosy but I would really like to know have you ever been involved or heard about recently performed exorcisms and how much real proof have you seen or heard of demonic possession? I have read the transcriptions of so called “demons” talking through unfortunate girl Anneliese Michel but honestly there are no information in there that the girl wouldn’t know herself, except maybe the day of her death the “demons” allegedly got right after the second guess. Have you ever witnessed or heard about manifestations involving potentially possessed people like them speaking of things or in languages they couldn’t possibly know, or maybe some kind of supernatural occurrences in their presence (such as levitation)?

Thank you! Best regards!

FATHER JOE:

Catholic priests must be sanctioned by their bishops to perform formal exorcisms. It is neither a line of ministry I have requested nor one I would want to pursue. All priests may, however, offer prayers of blessing, absolution and liberation from various levels of spiritual bondage. I have been privy to a few cases of purported demonic invasion but I could not say much about them at this time.

When the alleged demon speaks there is often a definite change in the voice, either becoming deeper or higher in pitch. The voice might also have peculiar inflections, as if something is mimicking human speech. However, this is not always the case. Sometimes it is the eyes that give them away. I met one woman who seemed largely normal. But family members insisted she was possessed. I heard them out. The young woman joked about her crazy family and their strange religious notions. She smiled thinking that I had bought her argument. She seemed perfectly normal although she had suffered a recent trauma. But when I started secretly saying my Rosary she had a small almost unperceivable fumble. I smiled back and said I had only one question, “How many of you are there?” “What?” she asked. I repeated my question. Her eyes became serpentine, her voice became guttural and she responded, “How did you know?” I explained that she had faltered at one point and instead of saying “I” she had said “we.” I prayed over them and suggested follow up with another priest closer to their home.

I am not convinced that the case of Anneliese Michel was one of demonic possession, although such might accompany mental illness and religious hysteria. In any case, exorcisms are best performed in hospitals where the medical needs of people might not be neglected. Her death was a terrible tragedy.

The movies are often filled with hype and special effects. We must also be careful not to create a feeding frenzy for those who are obsessed by such things. Both reason and true faith are often the victims of superstition.
Blagoje Divljan, on June 10, 2015 at 10:27 am said:

God gave a certain set of rules that ALL people should obey (of course this is optional but there are consequences), and for the first 1500 years more than half the planet haven’t even heard those rules and let alone had a chance to accept them to be true. Today most of the people have heard about one God traditions but for the 45% of them it’s just another 3 non-convincing religions alongside with a lot of other ones in which some of those 45% believe to be true – I wanted to ask did God (out of all the methods available to Him) choose on purpose an already proved failing concept of informing all the people of His will by mostly oral communication to be propagated literally by one man (Moses, Jesus or Muhammad or a combination of those three depending on a person’s beliefs)?

FATHER JOE: I would not place Mohammad into the mix. The patriarchs, prophets and later the apostles handed down the truth and shepherded the People of God. The aim is the forgiveness of sins and membership in the kingdom. While we believe in divine providence, whether or not people would listen or obey God is still a matter of human freedom. The purpose of religion is not to manufacture an earthly utopia but to assist us in becoming holy and going to heaven. Do you miss the very point of religion? It does us no good to second-guess God as we cannot really imagine what the world would be if things were different. God could have left us in our sins, but he did not. He came to save us. Is this not enough?
A sinner, on June 9, 2015 at 5:16 am said:

Father – I’ve been away from the church for a while and feel a pull to return. I know as part of the process I need to go to confession. I’ve looked at materials on how to prepare and give a good confession. Honestly father my sins go far and wide. How does one give an accurate account of the many sins over the course of years? I could be in the confessional for days.

Any guidance would be appreciated.

FATHER JOE: Tell the priest that it has been awhile. Go immediately to the list of serious sins. You do not have to give a lot of details. If you forget something, it will still be forgiven. You might imagine that you are the worst of sinners, but you are probably just another lost in the pack. Do not delay or worry about it. Just go and receive your penance and absolution. Peace!
Suzy, on June 9, 2015 at 12:01 am said:

Hello Father,
I was trying to decide which Bible I should buy, for referencing. I wanted a Catholic one and I’m not sure which version to buy. I don’t like those “new/modern” translations but I need to be able to understand the text at the same time. Which version do you recommend I buy? Thanks so much.

FATHER JOE:

The revised New American Bible (used at Mass)

My personal favorite is the Catholic version of the Revised Standard Version
Diana Strauss, on June 8, 2015 at 8:04 pm said:

Thank you for your clear and informative explanation.
Ana, on June 8, 2015 at 6:09 pm said:

But I’m not trying to hold on to him, Father – I’m trying everything to let him go, to just walk away, run away, and not look back. I don’t want an earthly father of any kind anymore, especially him; I just wish we could end things on good terms instead of it being like this. His parish was the only one I knew of in an area I frequent (though now I know of others to go to instead), and one day he saw me praying there, and he looked very cross. I don’t know why he’s angry. I don’t like it 😢

FATHER JOE: It is possible that someone said something about which you do not know. This happens more than I like to think about. The Church is desperately afraid of scandal. Idle gossip produces a call from the chancery where the priest is told to break off a relationship, to keep distance and to shut his mouth. He complies in holy obedience. Sin or no sin, this is the way it is sometimes played out. My advice is to let him and the matter go.
chinonye, on June 8, 2015 at 8:40 am said:

Hello Father
Is it permissible to listen to the song “Mack the knife”? I happen to enjoy it a lot buit don’t know if I can listen to it as it talks about a murderer. Thanks

Also Father, I seem to be confused about what is permissible to watch on tv these days. I like crime channel a lot but I don’t know if I’m supposed to watch most of my favourite shows there. And we both know its all about people who got murdered and stuff. Can I watch these shows without feeling guilty? Thanks

FATHER JOE: While there are problematical elements to certain songs, Mack the Knife would be pale in comparison to the vulgarity today. I am a fan of old Westerns and Crime shows, and yes they were sometimes violent, but often as well there was a morality play between good and bad. The Church can give us general guidance but you should not want the Church or priests to micro-manage your life. You have to make these judgments for yourself. Peace.
Blagoje Divljan, on June 8, 2015 at 12:39 am said:

Respected Sir,

This has been bothering me for a while: I don’t question the ways of the Judeo-Christian God nor the Allah, and perhaps giving the task “to share the God’s words among the people” to a SINGLE person really IS the BEST way to do it, but we are witnesses that SEVERAL thousands of years later (4, 2 and 1.5 respectively) only 55% of the world population know the teachings of one of the monotheistic religions. Could you please explain to me does the Lord really want us to behave by His Will, or did He just have a bad “PR manager”?

Thank you in advance,
Blagoje

FATHER JOE: But your comment itself does indeed question the providence of God. Of course, implied in your words is a relativism without real faith. Christianity is neither Islam nor even Judaism. The message is very different. Islam is filled with religious errors. Judaism is a genuine religion established by God but Christianity is a supernatural faith that builds upon it and any natural faith. Even though the message is proclaimed throughout the world, not everyone has the gift of faith. Some say YES to God and others, unfortunately, say NO.
A., on June 8, 2015 at 12:31 am said:

Dear Father, I’m in the process of making amends to folks against whom I’ve sinned through the years (step 8 and 9 in the 12-step recovery process). But I’m especially troubled by a sin I committed in 8th or 9th grade (almost 40 years ago) that came full-blast to my mind recently and won’t go away. I’m really tempted to go to the person I harmed and apologize, but I fear that by revisiting the sin with that person I may cause more harm to them than good, particularly because the person probably didn’t know of my sin. I am seeking God’s leading in this. Can you offer any guidance in how to approach such an issue, when going back to the person I harmed is best–or not best? Thank you most sincerely.

FATHER JOE: If forgiven by God, it is past time to let go. Forty years is a long time. Given that the person wronged probably does not even know or remember it, I would suggest forgetting it. Why create unnecessary hurt where there is none? Pray for that person… make that your gift of restitution.
Diana Strauss, on June 7, 2015 at 6:15 pm said:

In regard to the question about Baptism you said:

“It is important to know what religious denomination are we discussing. We recognize our common baptism with some but not with others. Do they baptize with water and in the name “of” the Trinity. You cannot participate (in any manner) if it should be an invalid baptism (Mormons, Adventists, certain Pentecostals, etc”

I’m curious, how else would you baptize someone except with water? Does it make a difference to Catholics if the person is sprinkled with water, has water poured on his head or is entirely immersed in the water? Why is baptism by certain Christian groups acceptable and not that of others? Don’t you all believe in the same basic principles?

Thanks for your time and patience,

Diana Strauss

FATHER JOE:

There are three essentials to baptism: form, matter and intention.

The form of baptism are the words pronounced. We are baptized in the name of the three Persons of the Trinity (see Matthew’s Gospel.) There was some confusion about this in the early Church and those baptized by John (for repentance) and those baptized in Jesus’ name had to be baptized again, but in the proper Christian way. This is still an issue between churches. Progressives seeking to avoid what they regard as patriarchal language wrongly make the following substitution for the Father, Son and Holy Spirit: “I baptize you in the name of the creator and of the redeemer and of the sanctifier.” This easily falls into the heresy of modalism. Such a baptism is null-and-void. The triune deity saves us in terms of these eternal generations or relations or divine Persons; it is wrong to reduce the godhead to its operations as if there be a tri-theism or three gods.

The matter is also given by our Lord and Scripture… water. The Church permits immersion, pouring or sprinkling (rare). The issue is that some churches either do not baptize or they practice a spiritual or dry baptism without water. There may be ritual and words, even the laying on of hands, but no water. They may also speak of baptism in the Spirit. But it is not what the Catholic Church affirms as the sacrament.

The basic intention can also be qualified. Catholicism views water baptism as an essential ingredient along with faith. Many denominations and cults dismiss the absolute need for it. Others have a faulty notion of the deity, like the Mormons, who may literally see the Trinity as three distinct gods. We believe in three divine Persons in one God (monotheism) or one divine Substance or Nature. Non-Catholic faith communities may see baptism as a mere externalization of faith, but nothing spiritual or commanded by God. That is why some cults reject the end to Matthew’s Gospel as a late Catholic addition. Catholicism believes baptism is part of the great commission given us by Christ. Baptism remits original sin and if we are at the age of reason, personal sin. Baptism makes us members of the Church. Baptism makes us Christians and adopted sons or daughters to God the Father. Baptism makes us temples of the Holy Spirit so that we can be restored to the likeness of Christ.
Christiano R, on June 7, 2015 at 1:50 pm said:

Hi Father,

My priest didn’t believe me when I told him what was happening with my life lately. He seemed pretty angry actually. What should I do? Should I stop confessing to him?

FATHER JOE: I have no idea what transpired and I really do not want to talk about it in a public forum. A priest is under the seal and cannot defend himself. Does anyone else have access to your computer or internet account? The earlier comment from Santeri Mäkinen had the same IP number as yours. If it is you then I can understand his consternation. I cannot say for sure if this be a prankster, a genuine spiritual attack or a manifestation of some mental pathology, but I would urge in all these cases that you seek out psychiatric counseling or help. Pastoral remedies would pick up from there. I will keep you in prayer.
Ana, on June 7, 2015 at 3:07 am said:

Dear Fr. Joe,

I’m still in a lot of pain about the priest who I saw as a father, after almost a year of silence from his end. Nothing I do makes it go away. I tried everything: bringing it to prayer, to counseling, to a friend, to spiritual direction, everything. Nothing helps. I still end up remembering him, and crying.

Since I seem to be stuck with this hurt, maybe forever, what do you think I should do? I do pray for the priest every day, I’m working through my dad-issues with my counselor, but is that all I can do? I just want to rip my heart out over it sometimes…

-Ana

FATHER JOE: There are people I know and love… some who distanced themselves from me and some from whom I made space… but as the years go by I remember what we had and I find solace in their continued happiness. Silence and space might be painful, but we respect the choices of others and focus on our own lives and callings before God. Love sometimes does not mean clinging, but letting go. It might even be selfish to hold on. Find peace and look ahead. God bless!
glo, on June 6, 2015 at 9:02 pm said:

Dear Fr Joe,
Was i wrong to tell a 10 year old girl when she spoke of playing with her dogs in heaven though for now they are all alive that there are no dogs in heaven. She then asked me how i know and i told her dogs have no souls. When narrating this story someone told me i shouldnt have said this to a little girl. What do you think?
Thanks

FATHER JOE: I would follow the Pope’s lead. Pope Francis told a child who had lost a dog: “One day, we will see our animals again in the eternity of Christ. Paradise is open to all of God’s creatures.” Some argue this means that animals have souls but the Pope does not say this. I have spoken before about how nothing is lost in God. Even if the substantial forms of animals should only exist as eternal paradigms in the divine mind, might that be enough?
confused janie, on June 6, 2015 at 8:50 pm said:

Dear Fr Joe,
I was listening to a short reflection by Fr Leo Clifford (RIP) who i find very encouraging in drawing me to God. He said that we usually say something is God’s will when we suffer and rarely acknowledge Him when we are happy. He then went on to say God wants us to be happy. This got me thinking deeply because i survive on preparing myself to embrace the cross in any eventuality which i have failed to do alot in the past. My question is a dumb one if God wants me to be happy but what about when i suffer. Also why do we suffer in different degrees some suffer much more than others.
Thanks.

FATHER JOE: We tend to petition God when we are sad and hurting and forget about him when we feel happy and secure. But we need to praise God when things do not go our way and remember to thank him when they do. As for the problem of pain, it is a natural mystery. Rooted in original sin and the fall, it touches all but seemingly not to the same degree. Indeed, the story of Job was in response to the fact that sometimes the worse sinners seem to flourish while those most faithful to God know poverty, pain and loss. Of course, death touches everyone and the notion of divine judgment and an afterlife is what preserves both divine justice and mercy. God is just but despite the falsities preached by the prosperity gospel, the world is not. God does not promise perfect happiness in this world, only the next. Ironically, some of the saints and martyrs have eagerly or enthusiastically embraced their crosses, not in any disordered love of pain but because of the opportunity to demonstrate their faith in God and in loving as he loves… loving those who hate us and forgiving those who hurt us.