Ask a Priest

5,442 Responses

confused janie, on June 6, 2015 at 8:33 pm said:

Dear Fr Joe,
Thanks for your previous and also to a reader caitlynnegrace who suggested a blog.
anna, on June 6, 2015 at 3:51 pm said:

Dear Father Joe

Am I right in saying that you cannot take holy communion, if you are not in a state of grace, i.e. living with someone and not going to confession?

The reason I ask is, our local priest gives someone holy communion every week and he know their situation.

Regards, Philomena

FATHER JOE: I cannot speak to the particular situation because we are not privy to how they live in the home and in what has transpired in the confessional. However, speaking in a general way, those who cohabitate and have sexual congress outside of marriage are not properly prepared or disposed to receive Holy Communion. Mortal sin would cut us off from the saving graces of the sacrament. Indeed, purposely receiving the sacrament while not contrite or without the absolution of the priest would constitute sacrilege which is another mortal sin.
Santeri Mäkinen, on June 6, 2015 at 11:49 am said:

Hi Father,

It is pretty clear that I have a demonic force living in my home. It scratches my walls, yells in the middle of the night and closes my television whenever I’m trying to watch Breaking Bad. My local priest suggested pouring salt on the floor in a circle, and I did, but the demon just ate it all. Then he poured some mustard around my bed. I think it is trying to communicate. What should I do?

FATHER JOE: Are you trying to be funny? You post a comment under the name of a respected soccer player and yet your comment comes across as disrespectful toward people of faith. A priest would not recommend simply pouring salt on the floor. That is the stuff of bad horror movies. As for the mustard, I suppose that is your “haha” moment. What should you do? Go to church, say your prayers, be respectful to the elements of true religion, avoid superstition and make sure that no one in the house is playing tricks on you. What is no joke is that the demonic also loves mocking priests and true religion. Pope Francis has warned us about how the devil both hides in our lives and influences human activity.
Jason, on June 5, 2015 at 10:15 pm said:

I am Catholic but I have been asked to be a godfather to a protestant baby. What do I do? I am close to our Lord and have been searching for the answer. All in all it seems that it does not matter. Am I being led to truth or is that just misinformation?

FATHER JOE:

I am sorry to tell you that it is indeed misinformation.

Lacking details, I cannot give you a definitive answer. You should contact your Parish priest.

Here are some of the factors involved:

FIRST, you cannot be the godparent because you cannot make promises in another religion or actively participate in its ritual. You cannot sponsor one’s incorporation into a religious denomination of which you are not a part.

SECOND, you could participate in a passive manner as a Christian Witness (one who attests to a genuine baptism). This is the situation in Catholic baptisms, where a witness can be substituted for one of the Catholic godparents. You do not make responses.

The question becomes, when can you act as a Christian witness?

It is important to know what religious denomination are we discussing. We recognize our common baptism with some but not with others. Do they baptize with water and in the name “of” the Trinity. You cannot participate (in any manner) if it should be an invalid baptism (Mormons, Adventists, certain Pentecostals, etc.).

Next, what is the religious affiliation of the couple? Where were they married? If they were married in a Catholic church then a promise was made to raise the children in the Catholic faith. You cannot participate (in any manner) if this pledge is broken. The presumption is that your friends are both Protestants who are having their child baptized in their church.

1993 Directory for the Application of Principles and Norms on Ecumenism:

[98] It is the Catholic understanding that godparents, in a liturgical and canonical sense, should themselves be members of the Church or ecclesial Community in which the baptism is being celebrated. They do not merely undertake a responsibility for the Christian education of the person being baptized (or confirmed) as a relation or friend; they are also there as representatives of a community of faith, standing as guarantees of the candidate’s faith and desire for ecclesial communion.

a) However, based on the common baptism and because of ties of blood or friendship, a baptized person who belongs to another ecclesial Community may be admitted as a witness to the baptism, but only together with a Catholic godparent. A Catholic may do the same for a person being baptized in another ecclesial Community.
Taylor, on June 5, 2015 at 3:57 am said:

Hello, I was wondering how Ordination effects the individual, as in where they go to live, etc., and how Ordination contributes to an individual’s self-identity? Thank you!

FATHER JOE: Ordination is a sacrament. It gives grace and it changes the man. It configures the man in a special way to Christ. It makes it possible for him to participate in the ministerial one High Priesthood of Christ. It leaves an indelible mark and can neither expire nor be repeated. The priest is given the power to celebrate the sacrifice of the Mass, confect the Blessed Sacrament and absolve sins. He is the Church’s agent in witnessing marriages and performing baptisms. He promises obedience to the bishop and perpetual celibacy. He goes where he is sent and does as he is told to do… forever.
caitlynnegrace, on June 4, 2015 at 7:36 am said:

@confused Janie

You might find some answers at the blog – Invisible Scar.
Shavonda Lancaster, on June 1, 2015 at 8:43 pm said:

Hi,
My name is Shavonda Lancaster and I wanted to know if there is a presence would your body feel weight down like your in a shell and you know what’s going, you can speak,you are woke, but you have to fight within yourself to move and break free. And the reason why I ask if there is a presence because I know there is one we all have seen something but that’s a long story so for now I just would like that.

FATHER JOE: There is a medical condition that has the same symptoms.
confused janie, on June 1, 2015 at 4:08 pm said:

Dear Fr Joe, What is your advice for dealing with a difficult mother in adult life if all throughout life she has been hurtful and emotionally abusive and continues to be so even more. Sorry for the lack of details maybe just give me a general answer. Thanks.

FATHER JOE: Although it takes you to the Cross, continue to love her. Take care of her.
Daniel, on May 31, 2015 at 6:26 pm said:

Hello, I was wondering if you are possessed and you believe in Jesus Christ and repent for your sins can you be saved?

FATHER JOE: Repentance and faith in Christ does make salvation possible. But it should be noted that while a person is possessed, the demon and not the human person is responsible for sinful conduct and words.
chinonye, on May 30, 2015 at 8:09 pm said:

Hello Father
I’m currently experiencing a sort of distaste for prayers and spiritual things. I used to be fervent (by the grace of God) in my spiritual life. Now I feel serious apathy towards prayers, and spiritual reading. I tend more towards tv and other distractions and don’t think about the things of God.
Please how do I help myself lest I fall into serious sin? I feel powerless. Thanks.

FATHER JOE: Faith is tested during dry periods. It is up to you to say your prayers and live your faith. No one can do it for you. Ask for the grace of God to help you.
Kim Beauregard, on May 29, 2015 at 8:59 pm said:

I was basically born into a family where strange happenings are about. I was one that inherited these things. I have the gift to channel the dead and when I was little I somehow channeled this demon that has been in my life from age 2 till now. I am 18 now and here in the past 3-4 years it’s been given my family a lot of problems. From family getting sick to. Our farm animals dying. There has even been a few things that have great religion value that has come up missing. We bless the house regularly but it seems to have no affect anymore. I am a really big Christian and I’ve gotten to the point to where I turn my back on everything that I know is not there. I refuse to help anything or anyone. Because if u may recall there aren’t and in betweens. There is either heaven or hell. Therefore only demons walk the earth and show their face to people like me. I’m only asking for guidance with my next step because I am completely clueless.

FATHER JOE:

FOLLOW THIS LINK for my Response
confused janie, on May 29, 2015 at 7:51 pm said:

Hallo Fr Joe,
How does one be a faithful catholic?
Thank you.

FATHER JOE: Fundamentally, you believe in Christ as both your personal and your corporate Savior. You know and live out your Catholic faith. You receive the sacraments. You go to Mass on Sunday and to Confession as needed. You say your daily prayers. You keep the commandments and precepts of the Church. You live out the Beatitudes. You embrace charity (allowing Christ to live in you) and try to forgive others as Jesus forgave us. You witness for Christ in the world as a sign of contradiction pointing to his kingdom.
Kim Beauregard, on May 29, 2015 at 12:02 am said:

Kim writes the following:

Dear Father,

I need some help. I have talked with a lot of priests and have always been turned down. I’m a medium. I don’t want this gift. It’s more of a nightmare for me and I’ve tried everything to expel these demons out of my life. No matter where I go. I cause death sickness and violence.

Please if you can help me. My family and I would greatly appreciate it.

My response:

I think some clarifications are in order here.

First, you do not define in what sense you view yourself as a medium. The Church condemns false worship or the practice of the occult. Thus, so-called mediums are prohibited from fortune-telling or divination, séances, sorcery, and channeling the dead for secret knowledge.

Second, there is no guarantee of spiritual agency, and such operations might be expressions of either deceitful chicanery or mental delusion.

Third, there are those who have opened doors to demonic oppression or worse types of spiritual infection. We see this type of tragedy in Scripture where the oracle or medium has no immediate or personal power; rather, it is borrowed through a devilish entity that postures as the dead or manifests itself in ecstatic utterances, ghostly appearances and/or other strange happenings.

Fourth, even approved exorcists make note of “sensitives” who do not seek out the supernatural but seemed somehow spiritually attuned to its presence. Because they can be useful in rooting out hidden entities, the devil may try to abruptly frighten such people. He desperately would not want them to assist clergy or to answer a religious calling of their own. When filled with faith and love of God, these people seem naturally inclined toward Christian mysticism. They realize that we wage a battle against powers and principalities; they respond with humility and prayer. The Catholics among them make ready recourse to the sacraments. They trust the Church.

Returning to your case, if there is a spiritual agency then your few details would point to the third scenario. I would urge going to Confession, regular participation at Sunday Mass, recitation of a daily Rosary, and having your home blessed by a priest with a consecration to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Further, the prayer to St. Michael makes a good oration that directly seeks protection against the devil.

.
chinonye, on May 28, 2015 at 3:23 pm said:

Hello Father
I tend to go to confession every week. I hope I’m not abusing the sacrament? I ve been trying to take my spiritual life seriously and so try to eliminate any venial sin I commit by going to weekly confession. Am I doing the right thing or not? Thanks

FATHER JOE: Many good people go to weekly Confession, including popes.
Alba Bates, on May 27, 2015 at 12:25 am said:

I have been a catholic for 24 years. When I was 26, I was baptized, received confirmation and communion through RCIA. My husband was born and raised catholic. Long story short, he studied theology and over the last 5 years has become more Eastern in thought. He started attending an Orthodox liturgy and did so for 1.5 years. I followed him and we were chrismated 5 months ago. I believe this was a mistake. I did not do it for the right reasons. I did it because worshiping separately was not something I wished to do. He was my spiritual leader all our adult life and I was confused by what was happening. I attended catholic mass this past weekend and it confirmed that I want to be back home in the catholic church. Is it possible to reverse a chrismation?

Thank you.
A

FATHER JOE:

Chrismation is analogous to Confirmation in the West. We view it as a one-time sacrament. The Orthodox churches offer Chrismation at the time of Baptism. However, the Orthodox may repeat Chrismation with the return of apostates and the reception of converts. It thus may constitute a formal attempt at defection from the Catholic Church.

It should be noted that in August of 2010, the Holy See confirmed that it was no longer possible to defect formally from the Catholic Church. This law in the Code of Canon Law was removed.

In any case, you need to see a Catholic priest and go to Confession. He can offer you absolution and if need be remove any censures. Given the issue of scandal, and the need for healing, the priest might also recommend a reaffirmation of your Catholic faith at Mass.
Tina Riley, on May 25, 2015 at 10:32 pm said:

Thank you, Father! I have tried to find accessible answers on the internet but you have set it out more clearly. I am now better able to express the argument whereas before I ‘knew but couldn’t say’ very well. You are right that these critics lean towards atheism or are believers in God but not believers in the Trinity. I feel no explanation will convince them but at least I can put one forward with clarity.
Diana Strauss, on May 25, 2015 at 9:41 pm said:

Excellent answer!
Tina Riley, on May 25, 2015 at 10:21 am said:

Hello, Father – you explain things so clearly, I hope you can help with how to defend the Church’s position against the criticism that God didn’t really sacrifice his only son our Lord Jesus Christ because he was resurrected. There is scriptural evidence that Jesus knew he would be resurrected so critics argue that his death wasn’t faced in the way we would face death. Please can you show how these criticisms are false so that I can explain better? Thank you.

FATHER JOE:

It sounds like these critics have an impoverished notion of Christian hope and how believers face the prospect of suffering and death. Jesus did indeed know that he had the power to conquer death. Christians are aware that Christ’s victory is theirs and so they need not fear death, either.

I am not aware of such critics as you propose, but it seems to me that they are infected with a sense of futility and atheism. If this is the only life we will ever have, then immediate hedonism becomes much more attractive and the notion of sacrificing one’s happiness and life for others becomes harder to argue. The Father did not directly will that his Son should suffer and die; however, the Father did desire that his Son would be faithful to his mission. It is this mission that required his redemptive paschal mystery. Jesus dies that we might live. The Christian facing the prospect of beheading from ISIS trusts in the promises of Christ; however, does it not still demand courage to make such a sacrifice? Sure it does.

Jesus’ sacrifice was not easier than ours. Indeed, given his identity, it was harder. What compounds the oblation of Jesus is that he did not have to die. He could have left us in our sins. As a divine Person, he dies knowing all those who crucified him by their sins. Imagine the enormity of this. He loves and forgives the very ones who put him to death. The true weight of the Cross is measured not in wood and nails, but in the sins of the world.

He models for us the meaning of true Christian martyrdom. We must live and die loving those who hate us and forgiving those who hurt us. I bet the critics fail to place that into their equation about the sacrificial nature of what Jesus does and what he commands of us. He tells us to take up our crosses and follow him.
J, on May 24, 2015 at 5:58 pm said:

Hi Father Joe,
I have noticed every time the priest at my church says something in Latin when I receive communion, instead of ‘the body of Christ’, which he says to everyone else. I am wondering if you could think of some possible reason for this- like for example, he thinks I am not in a state of grace.
Thank you,
J

FATHER JOE: If he is saying, CORPUS CHRISTI, then he is just saying “the Body of Christ” in Latin. I can think of nothing else he would say or why he would do so.
Jerome, on May 24, 2015 at 8:00 am said:

What makes civil marriages sacred? Why do we need to protect its meaning and essence? I don’t quite see the need of the church to defend it from errors such as gay marriage and divorce.

FATHER JOE:

If Christians are not Catholic and/or bound by the laws of their churches, then these unions are sacred as sacraments. However, civil marriages outside the Catholic Church (among its membership) are deemed null-and-void. They are not recognized and are not sacraments. Indeed, they constitute sins, particularly if the couples become intimate and cohabitate. Some countries require dual ceremonies, but they should be conducted on the same day or in close proximity. Currently priests in the U.S. function both as witnesses for the Church and agents of the state in certifying marriages.

Moving away from the word “sacred,” the Church promotes the contract or covenant of marriage as a natural right. Marriage and family are viewed as the basic building blocks to a healthy society. This is why the Church is fighting with revisionists over the basic meaning of marriage as a bond between a man and woman where children might be conceived and raised. Divorce, adultery, fornication, homosexual acts, child abuse, etc. are behaviors that damage this essential bond, threatening the foundations of a civil and moral society. These sins also impinge upon basic human dignity. The Church’s position is that human sexuality and relationships should be in harmony with natural law. This does not necessarily mean that all marriages are truly holy in the eyes of God. The battle over marriage has sacramental implications, but is really one that flows from the Church’s moral and social doctrines.
Ana, on May 23, 2015 at 7:08 pm said:

Dear Father,

Thanks for the reply. I realized a bit too late that I didn’t specify that when I said “oral sex”, I meant it more as “oral stimulation”, as foreplay or whatever (my experiences rarely had much foreplay involved, so it’s weird to talk about). I guess it’s generally that difficult distinction between humble love and cruel degradation.

I’ve another question today: is androgyny sinful? I mean, there’re negative feelings behind this for me; I’ve a lot of pain and frustration over my vulnerability and lack of a good male influence in my life. This isn’t to say I hate men – I was abused by men and women alike in varying ways and degrees, I don’t have more distrust for one sex or the other. That all said, I really like the idea of being less identifiable as either gender. I generally feel disgusted by my body. I want to feel strong.

-Ana

FATHER JOE:

Through counseling and prayer, we can rediscover something of our self-worth.

We must be careful about how the world values the body and beauty. Too often it is exploitive.

You are your body. Know this, and know as well that as God’s precious daughter you are loved and are beautiful.

You are a woman. Look to the Blessed Mother and all the female saints. Womanhood is a great gift. There is no generic or androgynous humanity. Celebrate your womanhood!

No one has a right to exploit you or anyone. Everyone needs to be cherished and affirmed. Your womanhood is a precious gift that God gave you. Never be ashamed by who you are. It is good to feel strong, but never at the sacrifice of the truth. True strength comes with knowing yourself and acknowledging that what God has created is good and beautiful.
confused janie, on May 23, 2015 at 2:00 pm said:

Dear Fr Joe,
I write to ask you how do i measure my ‘success’ as a catholic. Is it when i prosper and acquire material wealth and status or when i do works of mercy selflessly or both.
I feel i have failed in both categories so where does that leave me. I am depressed that i am a failure even in God’s eyes.
Thanks in advance for your answer and apostolate. God bless you.
Janie

FATHER JOE: God does not demand that we be successful, only faithful.
Michael Wayne, on May 23, 2015 at 3:36 am said:

why don’t Christians follow the bible word by word isn’t it a rule book I mean you can’t choose to break a law in US you will go to jail why is it ok for u to break your own laws and If u want I can send the christian laws to you that Christians break on a daily basis please explain

FATHER JOE: The explanation should be simple. We are all sinners. We should follow the laws of God and of his Church. But today even natural law is violated. The posture of a Christian should rightly include repentance, conversion and obedience.
Nelson, on May 22, 2015 at 8:59 am said:

Hi father

my question is: im a graphic designer i work at a company where my employers did’nt secure the rights to the software i need to use to do the work they gave me pirated software also they don’t always give me images that they secured the rights to , to edit and use for websites , sadly i left my previous job to avoid this stuff and my new job has the same issues . am i morally accountable for doing this work or is it the employers who are responsible ? , i heard i could be remotely materially cooperating and its the employers fault .

also is a person obliged to make restitution for copyright offences

thank you

FATHER JOE: I can point to the commandments and “thou shalt not steal” but must admit some confusion about current laws and right of use. I know that MS is very proprietary about software use, so much so that we have to count machines and some users rent over buying. There are also differences between commercial, non-profit and personal usage. The online world is far more confusing than the traditional ink and paper. Copyright laws also vary between certain countries and what is or is not public domain. As for yourself, are you sure the company did not secure rights to use the software they gave you? The greater moral burden would be upon them. Have you brought your concerns to your employers? Restitution is an important issue, but is not always possible… especially when organizations go in and out of existence quickly. Sorry if I made the waters more muddy and the issue increasing convoluted… but that is how it currently is.
B, on May 22, 2015 at 12:15 am said:

Father Joe,

Hope you are well. I have a question about Christianity and sports, particularly the more violent sports like boxing and MMA–are these sports that we, as Christians, can support? Or, because of the amount of violence, are they something we should stay away from?

Thank you.

B

FATHER JOE: I cannot speak to Mixed Martial Arts as I have never followed it and know little about it. As for Boxing, there has long been disagreement and debate in Catholic circles about it. Pope Pius XII opposed it as too violent and during his tenure it disappeared from many Catholic schools. However, the late Pope John Paul II (and saint) was a known fan of men’s amateur boxing. I would similarly side in its favor, although with the qualification that it must be carefully regulated. Boxing is about more than violence… but also about discipline, fair play, hard work, and rules that delineate between civility and lawlessness.