Ask a Priest

5,442 Responses

chinonye, on November 15, 2014 at 12:38 pm said:

Father is taking a second helping of food considered gluttony?

FATHER JOE: Is taking a second drink drunkenness? The Church does not offer measuring spoons or cups for sins. How large are the portions? Are we depriving others of food? What are we eating. What are our needs?
Janie, on November 14, 2014 at 6:54 pm said:

Dear Fr Joseph,
I find myself thinking very bad thoughts about all people those I know and some I barely know. I wish them pain, suffering, illness and even death.
On the surface I actually consider myself a good hearted person but then these thoughts sneak in and it feels like am heartless person.
When something terrible happens to the said persons then I feel regret and wish it hadnt happened.
What do you think could be happening here?
Thanks in advance.

FATHER JOE: I do not know. I suspect we are not as good as we might imagine or hope ourselves to be.
jez, on November 14, 2014 at 2:14 am said:

Father, i wrote an exam. It was really difficult for me. I simply wrote something and filled the paper( most things i wrote was not correct ) .If answer paper correction is to done in a fair manner i think i will fail for sure. So in this contest can i pray to god to make me pass the exam?. If im asking him to make me pass, it means that im asking him do some unfair know?

FATHER JOE: No, probably not… prayer really does not work that way. You might, however, pray for mercy and ask the teacher for another chance. Study hard… peace!
Paul, on November 13, 2014 at 9:46 pm said:

Father….my girlfriend is Catholic and divorced….she had her former marriage annulled…..I am a divorced Episcopalian…formerly married to a Catholic who did NOT have HER former marriage (Catholic wedding) annulled. How can my girlfriend and I be married in the Catholic Church?

FATHER JOE:

Your girlfriend is probably free to marry again, as long as no monitum was attached to her annulment.

If you as an Episcopalian formerly married a Catholic in the Catholic Church, then you will need your own annulment. You can enter the annulment case. If you were not formerly married in the Church then it would be a simple declaration of nullity because of lack of canonical form. If married in the Church, it is a formal case.
chinonye, on November 12, 2014 at 9:59 am said:

Father I hope this question isn’t awkward. Will God answer the prayer of someone who asks him for his help to marry a spouse from another race if it pleases him? Thanks

FATHER JOE: The Church has no moral qualm about interracial marriage. God hears and answers prayers. That should be obvious. But here especially the Lord respects human freedom. I suspect that spouses are made more on earth than in heaven.
mai, on November 11, 2014 at 11:39 pm said:

Father, I am in some kind of predicament. I want to get married soon. Unfortunately my situation is very unique in that I am a recent immigrant and live w my family here in the US. They do not like my boyfriend and so I have been going on w my relationship not really in secret but simply keeping myself silent and not sharing anything. My family here are very judgmental and negative of me and everything I do. They have called me names and have also put down my boyfriend. I live with them because i have to. Im a student and work part time. I am 27 and can make my own decisions. I really w ant to get married in the catholic church. But not legally as of yet. Is this at all possible?

FATHER JOE: Unless a bishop rules otherwise, priests can only marry couples in the U.S. who have a marriage license. Marriages witnessed in the Church are legally binding for the state.
Janie, on November 11, 2014 at 7:55 pm said:

Dear Fr Joseph,
Thanks for the time you take to answer our questions. I thank God for you and since i discoverd your ministry a few days ago i have learnt alot being on your website. God bless you.
Please Father i have a question. Am a 38year old single woman and a serious faithful Catholic(Thank God) is it a good idea to watch protestant preachers on TV or protestant worship services, songs and the like. I definately dont agree with their ‘prosperity’ gospel preaching and know to ignore any anti-Catholic views. I have been blessed with a very firm faith in God and His Church and like a prayer says ‘in this faith i am resolved to live and die’. I am well nourished by frequenting the sacramnts,prayer and catholic spiritual reading.
Many years back i used to watch these protestant preachers and singers mostly for the motivational talk/lyrics like stuff which am not sure even qualifies as preaching more like the stuff one could hear from speakers at a team building weekend or such.
Thanks in advance for answering my question. Be assured of my prayers.

FATHER JOE: I was a fan of Rev. Jerry Falwell and Rev. Robert Schuller. I watched them regularly on TV. I became a priest. As long as we know and are strong in our faith, we can be edified by Christian witness from others.
James, on November 9, 2014 at 11:32 pm said:

Is it always mortally sinful to disrespect one’s parents? I ask because my dad was talking to me about something, of which I was in the wrong. I got frustrated and said “sorry” and “okay,” in the attempt to hurry along the conversation. My voice wasn’t that respectful. There was one instance where my voice communicated that I was proud of it. I’m unsure if that was my intent and could have been just trying to say that I wasn’t able to do something on a regular basis so it couldn’t be held against me. Not that either would have been good things to try to communicate. I’m not trying to justify anything, I just want to know if I need to confess before receiving the Eucharist. I just wen to confession last night and am supposed to help serve Mass tonight. Thanks.

FATHER JOE: I think you’re okay but I say the Act of Contrition every day.
Gabi, on November 9, 2014 at 7:24 pm said:

Hello Father. Can you tell me the proper way for a priest (a Vicar) to sign a letter? I am not referring to the signature block which is typed but rather the personal signature. Should the signature simply have the priest’s name e.g. John Smith or should it be “Father John Smith” or Fr. John Smith? Your advice would be appreciated.

FATHER JOE: Not sure why you need this information. Priest sign letters “Father” (Fr.) or “Reverend” (Rev.).
Ruth, on November 9, 2014 at 4:01 pm said:

Also, to whom do I give my tithes? The church or the poor?

FATHER JOE: Both. Support of the Church is one of the mandated precepts of the faith.
Ruth, on November 9, 2014 at 3:54 pm said:

Father, I avoid giving alms to beggars. Because I feel most of them are young and healthy. As for the old and sick, there is a homes in my town which look after them. Thus I avoid lending alms as I prefer donating the money directly to such homes. Am I doing something wrong?
The story of the rich man and the beggar Lazarus scares me.

FATHER JOE: You say that you give… that should be sufficient. We give because of charity. It should not be simply an expression of guilt.
The Happy Kamper, on November 9, 2014 at 1:08 pm said:

Father

My grandmother passed this morning. In Islam we believe that passing on a Friday is a good omen and that God will take care of you. Is there a belief in Christianity that passing on a Sunday is a good sign? I’m trying to provide comfort to my family. If you could share a passage of scripture please that would be great.

Thank you,
kamilah

FATHER JOE:

My condolences on your loss. We do not believe in omens as such, however, we might speak of a death as providential when it falls during a certain liturgical season or on a memorial day for a saint that held special meaning to the departed.

Psalm 23 – The LORD is my shepherd; there is nothing I lack. In green pastures he makes me lie down; to still waters he leads me; he restores my soul. He guides me along right paths for the sake of his name. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff comfort me. You set a table before me in front of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Indeed, goodness and mercy will pursue me all the days of my life; I will dwell in the house of the LORD for endless days.
Nick, on November 9, 2014 at 12:59 am said:

Father,

Is it ok to attend saturday evening mass regularly because I know I will be going out late on Saturday nights (until 3 or 4 AM), and it will be tough waking up for Sunday morning mass? Thanks!

FATHER JOE: Saturday night currently satisfies for the Sunday obligation.
Tracy, on November 7, 2014 at 5:52 pm said:

Father,

I am a Protestant convert, so some of the aspects of Catholicism are still unfamiliar to me. Could you explain the significance of praying a Novena and can they be prayed for others? A friend recently experienced several tragedies (unrelated to one another but all occurring within the same week) in his family and is struggling with despair and hopelessness. I would like to pray a Novena for him.

Thank you,
Tracy

FATHER JOE: Novenas are prayers that have been sanctioned by the Church, are said for a certain length of days (traditionally nine) and are frequently associated with an indulgence or special favor. There are all sorts of Novenas, although they are commonly associated with the Blessed Mother. They are offered as a gift to God either as intercessory prayer and/or sometimes as thanksgiving. They are an element of traditional Catholic spirituality. Answering your question, YES, they can be prayed for others.
Ruth, on November 7, 2014 at 3:55 pm said:

1. Alright Father, I will not think of her as a friend, but how do I deal with her stupidity in a situation where its not possible to avoid her, since she is my neighbor?

FATHER JOE: I would tell her the truth about how she hurts people.

2. Following what Jacqueline said, Father, the Anti Christ is a devil in human form, born of a woman, which will appear soon.

FATHER JOE: This is speculation but not public revelation or Church teaching. The devil might feign humanity but he cannot become incarnate like the Christ. Such would require divine power and he is just a pathetic fallen angelic creature. It is not possible.
chinonye, on November 7, 2014 at 3:19 pm said:

Father most shows on tv have highly sexualized content. It seems as though every show has a bit of the sex thing in them. How does one watch tv in this day and age without offending God?

FATHER JOE: Custody of the eyes is strained just by going outside your home. You do the best you can. Fortunately televisions come with OFF/ON switches and DVRs with fast forward. The world outside your door cannot be so censored.
chinonye, on November 7, 2014 at 11:07 am said:

Father I ve discovered that people possessed by demons are usually females. Not that men don’t get possessed but that is something I ve noticed. Why is it so?

FATHER JOE: It is not so. Females are more popular as such victims in fiction, but not in real-life stories.
jacqueline munoz, on November 6, 2014 at 11:37 pm said:

I know the devil can imitate life but can it take human form ? Can it be born from a human as a human ?

FATHER JOE: The devil can corrupt but he is not creative.
Gloria, on November 6, 2014 at 10:31 pm said:

Dear Father,
Today I was on a road trip and was caught up in unexpected traffic for a few hours. I had a full bladder and not able to hold urine anymore i opened the car doors and passed urine. When i finished i noticed one car door wasnt completely open to screen me. My question is did i sin by doing this and therefore do i need to confess this at my next confession because i may have been an occasion of sin to the people caught up in the traffic. Am sorry for this too personal question. Thanks in advance.
Gloria

FATHER JOE: There is no sin in what nature demands.
Christian Schmemann, on November 6, 2014 at 5:50 pm said:

@Frank Del Bagno:

I think you do raise an interesting question about how Eucharist is given out in the Catholic (and Orthodox) Church. Intinction, as practiced by giving both the Holy Body and Holy Blood via a gold-plated spoon is a specifically Byzantine means of giving the Eucharist, which is practiced in both Byzantine Catholic and Greek/Russian Orthodox Churches.

However in all the Syriac Churches: Syriac Catholic and Orthodox, Chaldean Catholic and East Assyrian Churches, the Eucharist is given in an identical manner as in the pre-Vatican II Roman Rite. Frequently, these Christians have to live in areas where Muslim rulers frequently seek to interrupt Eucharistic celebrations by blocking access to wine for the Eucharist.

By the way Father, what was the history of giving only the Holy Body in the Latin Church?

FATHER JOE:

The Western Church generally offered both species until the twelfth century. There are many reasons given for why it fell off and was restricted. One involves a reason that we still see from many as a mental reservation and that is the possible spread of contagion or disease. Remember the Black Death afflicted Europe and between 1346 to 1353 people died like flies. Another factor was the growth of the Church and the logistics of purchasing and storing vast amounts of wine. Similarly, what was to be done with large amounts of consecrated wine when communicant numbers were smaller than anticipated? Remember, while the hosts could be reserved in tabernacles for worship and sick calls, the precious blood had to be consumed. I know a parish today where large amounts of the precious blood must be consumed when people opt out of receiving it. The new rules emphasizing purification by clergy and not extraordinary ministers has made this a real problem. We do not want our ministers “drunk on the Lord.” It must also be said that many locations in the past found it difficult to procure wine, especially in the northern countries. A few bottles that a priest might sparingly use would be a small matter. Vats of wine would prove much harder to procure. Indeed, I recall missions in Iceland asking if drink from barley might be substituted. Similarly, priests serving in the Orient requested the possible substitution of rice wine. At least to the second request, the answer was negative. The water passage to the Iceland missions would be blocked for some years by ice and the Christian community would have all but disappeared when a reconnection was made.

Theologically, the doctrine of concomitance was upheld and it may be that the use of one species was intentionally stressed to drive home the point. Christ was entirely present in either consecrated species. As for Jesus’ command, the Church said that it was satisfied in the priest who functioned as our representative at the altar. It was argued sufficient that he receive both the host and the cup of precious blood.

The Council of Constance (1415) responded to the errors of John Wycliffe. He would argue the material substance of both bread and wine remained in the sacrament of the altar. He further argued that the accidents could not remain unless something of the subject did as well. Thus the command of Christ was toward both the spiritual and material bread and wine. Catholicism argued that this was false. The substance of bread and wine were destroyed. What remained behind were the accidents with a new hidden substance, the living Christ. Most damning was the proposition that in the sacrament Christ was not identically and really available in his bodily presence. This was regarded as heresy.
Ruth, on November 6, 2014 at 3:24 pm said:

Father, how do I deal with a friend who is always jealous of other people’s well being and keeps finding faults and taunting me?? Thanks a million.

FATHER JOE: Stop thinking of her as a friend.
Frank Del Bagno, on November 6, 2014 at 1:14 pm said:

Thank your for your response. I have asked this question to several priest. Some have agreed with me, others not, That is fine.
Siim, on November 6, 2014 at 12:26 pm said:

Hello Father!
First ,for You to understand, where I’m standing, I’ll give some BACKGROUND INFORMATION:
I live in a small country with population of 1.3 million people. About 14% consider themselves religious. Rest of them consider themselves irreligious.There are about 4000 Catholics. Biggest Christian denomination is Lutheran. I was born in irreligious family and was baptized by my own will at the age of 17. I was quite active as a lutheran – organizing different events for youth and children and congregation was big part of my life while being Lutheran. Two years ago I decided to become a Catholic. About year ago I was accepted to the Church and this summer I was Confirmed. I’ve studied youth work and special education, being part-time teacher and camp instructor. Now I’m a volunteer and I (co-organize) youth club in Opus Dei.
NOW THE QUESTION: But I’m officially still a member of Lutheran organization (which deals with different events for youth), although I haven’t been active since I became a Catholic (just in case). Am I still allowed to participate in their activity as a member or is this heresy? I haven’t been brave enough or haven’t found the right moment for asking this question from my parish priest.
Thank You for all Your help, Father!
God Bless You

FATHER JOE: As long as the organization’s leaders are okay with it, yes you can continue to volunteer and assist with activities. You cannot participate in Lutheran worship in a ministerial way or take communion. As long as the issue is not worship or teaching false doctrine, it should be permissible from our perspective. However, you need to find out how they feel about it. Let them know that you are now a Catholic. Peace!
Patrick Brooks, on November 5, 2014 at 10:02 pm said:

Father I am not sure if this is the place to ask questions but, I was married outside the church, we divorced years ago, her doing. Am I allowed to receive the sacraments in my catholic church ?

FATHER JOE: Yes.
Ana, on November 5, 2014 at 1:14 pm said:

I’m sorry, Father; I wasn’t trying to ask if you personally saw your calling as a job, I was trying to ask if you also have the sense that the priesthood is widely being treated as an occupation these days. I just see the way things are run, the attitudes of priests, and that’s the impression I get.

Thank you though for your zealous witness of the priesthood.

FATHER: No offense taken. I would hope that other priests see their vocation in the same way. I cannot imagine how it could be otherwise, despite possible appearances to the contrary.