Ask a Priest

5,442 Responses

Greg Gordon, on January 21, 2014 at 10:08 pm said:

Hi what happens if somebody says jesus is satan what kind of sin is that and is it a unforgivable sin or can it be forgiven if it is a bad sin

FATHER JOE: Sin is only unforgiveable is we are unrepentant when we die. The condemnation of the divine as satanic is a serious sin: “The scribes who had come from Jerusalem said, ‘He is possessed by Beelzebul,’ and ‘By the prince of demons he drives out demons.’ Summoning them, he began to speak to them in parables, ‘How can Satan drive out Satan? If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. And if a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. And if Satan has risen up against himself and is divided, he cannot stand; that is the end of him. But no one can enter a strong man’s house to plunder his property unless he first ties up the strong man. Then he can plunder his house. Amen, I say to you, all sins and all blasphemies that people utter will be forgiven them. But whoever blasphemes against the holy Spirit will never have forgiveness, but is guilty of an everlasting sin.’ For they had said, ‘He has an unclean spirit'” (Mark 3:22-30).
Amy, on January 17, 2014 at 6:05 am said:

Dear Father, I have horrible thoughts against God, Jesus, the Holy Mother, and the Holy Spirit– of cursing and blasphemy. It makes me very anxious and I have no peace. While I pray, even in regards to the Holy Mother, an horrendous thought appears. I have no peace or joy while I pray because of such ungodly thoughts. I have been praying for healing for so long and nothing happens. Thank you for your response. Blessings!

FATHER JOE: I would recommend that you speak with your local priest. There are too many details not available to me: (1) your age and state of life; (2) the culture and influences to which you are exposed; (3) the level of your religiosity; (4) life experiences and possible trauma; (5) your health and mental stability; and what possibility might exist for spiritual oppression or obsession. We are constantly afflicted with fleeting bad thoughts and urges but we can redirect our attention and quickly dismiss them. If they are not directly intended and do not reflect our core preoccupation then I would just quickly disregard negative thoughts and images as insignificant. Scrupulosity about them gives them a certain negative hold upon us.
Jay, on January 15, 2014 at 12:08 am said:

Hi Father,

Someone once asked me if they had sinned mortally by confessing the sin of pornography but not specifying it was of the homosexual kind. He said that he didn’t want the priest to view him differently afterwards. What should I tell him?

Thank you.

Jay

FATHER JOE: He should probably be more specific, but confessing to the sin of pornography was probably sufficient. People should not be afraid of their priests.
Lorenz Milkor, on January 11, 2014 at 4:15 pm said:

Thank you Father for your reply. Very illuminating.
caitlynnegrace, on January 11, 2014 at 1:11 pm said:

Dear Father,
The 1 John 5 reading has come up again and I still cannot understand it any better than I did last year. What is the meaning of not praying for the sin that leads to death? Kindly explain in a simple way, Father, because it is hard for me to grasp things easily. Thank you, Fr.

FATHER JOE:

What we ask should be in conformity with the divine will. Divine providence cannot be circumvented.

We can intervene for the venial sins of our brothers and sisters. That is a basic component of intercessory prayer. If the person is disposed to mercy, then God hears and answers such prayers.

Mortal sin is more serious and requires the immediate contrition of the sinner. The Church also employs the mediation of priestly absolution in the sacrament of Penance.

The one who belongs to God is in genuine friendship with him. Mortal sin signifies a breech. It forfeits the life of grace.

We are commissioned to abide in God and to spread the Good News.
adonay petros, on January 10, 2014 at 11:27 am said:

No I was smoking and I quite no drugs no alcohol it is not a dream I saw it out side when I was alone and am sure about it u was praying and I saw it in dream also not always but sometimes I don’t take any medicine at all father Joe I told my dad about it he told me unclean spirit trying to harm you that’s why this angles are fighting for you not this only 1st thing that happen in my life because I was not to near to god as a catholic I know god but I didn’t came near to him,the change came when I was praying everyday at my dark room I saw light on my wall and I felt rest light better than ice shining THANK YOU from,Saudi Arabia

FATHER JOE: I really do not know how to respond. Be careful what you write and say. The authorities in Saudi Arabia will arrest people for religious reasons. Stay safe.
adonay petros, on January 9, 2014 at 9:20 am said:

Hi my name is adonay my question is the day I fill with holy spirit after 1 or 3 day I I saw battle going on between 3 angles and a dragon what is that mean ?

FATHER JOE: We usually transliterate the name as Adonai. Did your family actually give you the name of Almighty God? Did you have a dream or hallucination? I would give it no credence. The imagination can play tricks. Were you drinking or taking drugs? Are you on strong medicine?
David Binns, on January 8, 2014 at 4:01 pm said:

Kryon Gods messenger or false God ? I cannot find any Catholic opinion on line

why doesn’t the church speak anything about the New Age Kryon movement?

FATHER JOE: I doubt that many Catholics would be taken in by such new age mumbo-jumbo. You find nothing about it because it is not even on our radar.
Lorenz Milkor, on January 7, 2014 at 4:42 am said:

Dear Father,

I was brought up Roman Catholic but under the Patriarchate of Venice. Here in the US where I moved 30 years ago, I found myself very comfortable with the Catholic Melkites and every Sunday I attend the Divine Liturgy – but of course whenever possible the Saturday or during the week I long to get communion or attend the daily services in the closest Roman Catholic Church.

I have a question: there is a Cherubimic Hymn where the Cherubim are called “many eyed” and the Seraphim are “six winged” and soaring on their “pinions”. Can you please take some time and explain some of the meaning?

Also, I realize that the Greek Catholic (Melkite) Liturgy (in communion with Rome and the Pope) is basically the same of the Greek and other Orthodox Liturgies: what is the main point of discord then between Catholics and the Orthodox? As a Catholic can I receive Communion in an Orthodox Church?

Thank you.

FATHER JOE:

You cannot generally receive Holy Communion in an Orthodox church. The only exception is when it is physically impossible for you to participate at a liturgy in a Roman Catholic or Eastern rite in union with the Holy See. However, please note, that not all Orthodox churches would want Latin rite Christians taking the sacrament from them, either. We should also try to respect their laws. Having said all this, we recognize the validity of the seven sacraments in the Orthodox churches.

The Orthodox churches are national churches and Roman Catholicism has always been in tension with such embodiments of faith communities. This is true in the East and West. Gallicanism placed great stress upon the unity of the Church in France just as Anglicanism signified a juridical breech. Political reasons related to Church authority are still very much part of the problem that must be resolved. What is the extent of papal power and the unity under the Petrine see? This brings with it the debate over the status of the small Eastern rite churches in union with Rome. The Orthodox churches tend to look down upon them as traitors. The Orthodox churches regard the Pope as “the first among equals.” Such is not how we regard the universal see.

Besides ecclesiology, there are also some doctrinal interpretations which divide us. The most famous of these is the Filioque debate in the Nicene Creed: both the authority of the Pope to add to the profession of faith and the understanding of the eternal generations or relations of the divine Persons in the Blessed Trinity. Given pressure from worldly monarchs, Protestant influence and secularism, the second or penitential marriages of divorced persons is also a divide. We cannot readily forgive that for which we were willing to allow the entire English church to slip away— a marriage that is no marriage but adultery. Orthodox churches transplanted into the West are increasingly adopting elements of Lutheranism (emphasis upon Scripture over tradition and the value of faith over works) but these eccentricities are also placing stress upon their loose inner unity worldwide. Indeed, some communities have split as have several of the Russian Orthodox over the fragmentation of the old U.S.S.R. and what was seen as complicity with communism. Indeed, it appears that some prelates might have been KGB plants. Indeed, the recent news has detailed a public rift between the Orthodox patriarchs in Russian and the Ukraine.

As for the Cherubic Hymn, the emphasis is that we enter into the angelic praise and glory to Almighty God. The Sanctus serves a similar purpose in the Roman Catholic liturgy: Holy, Holy, Holy. The more traditional Trisagion is found in our Good Friday Liturgy and is a component of the Divine Mercy Chaplet.

“We, who mystically represent the Cherubim, and chant the thrice-holy hymn to the life-giving Trinity, let us set aside the cares of life that we may receive the King of all, who comes invisibly escorted by the Divine Hosts.”

Holy God, Holy [and] Mighty, Holy [and] Immortal, have mercy on us.
Holy God, Holy [and] Mighty, Holy [and] Immortal, have mercy on us.
Holy God, Holy [and] Mighty, Holy [and] Immortal, have mercy on us.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, both now and ever and to the ages of ages. Amen.

Holy and Immortal, have mercy on us.
Holy God, Holy and Mighty, Holy and Immortal, have mercy on us.

While the gravity is with God and not the angels, the description of the angels is taken from Isaiah 6:1-3.

“In the year King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a high and lofty throne, a with the train of his garment filling the temple. Seraphim were stationed above; each of them had six wings: with two they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they hovered. One cried out to the other: ‘Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts! All the earth is filled with his glory!’”

The references to wings and eyes are all symbolism. Seraphim are pictured with six wings and are associated with the purification that comes from fire. Cherubim are imaged as with four wings and many eyes or faces. They are understood as all seeing. Catholic tradition places seraphim at the first rank of the angelic hosts and cherubim at the second. St. John of the Cross writes that the seraphim covering its face with its wings symbolize “the darkness of the intellect in God’s presence.” He continues that the covering of the feet symbolizes “the blinding and quenching of the affections of the will because of God.” It thus constitutes humility of the creature before the Creator. “With the two remaining wings they flew, indicating both the flight of hope toward things that are not possessed and the elevation above all earthly or heavenly possessions that are not God” (The Ascent of Mount Carmel, II, 6.5).
Clare, on January 6, 2014 at 5:46 pm said:

Father, my husband and I have had a talk and he said he wants to end it as he is ‘sick of it’, so I am waiting for him to leave me. I have been remembering the good things and the bad and I see now that some things were very bad, 8 stitches to the hand, a broken cox bone amongst some but then there are the humiliation ones having to ring up a complete stranger pretending to be someone else to prove that this man did not know me – with my us and on the upstairs phone. But for the children I think I would have given up long ago, but now I realize it is for them that I have to end it, I have to leave him. However, I am so very scared of what Jesus will think of this, will he still love me if I leave my husband – Mass on the 29th the Holy Family really made me think that he does not treat me the way he should, but should I leave should I not keep trying, but surely after 22 years I have tried enough! He always and I’d I mean always says it is me, never him not once has it been him. I am sorry to go on Father; I love Jesus with all my heart and do not want to lose him from my life.

FATHER JOE:

God would not demand that you suffer such abuse. The sin belongs to your spouse. For your own safety and the good of the children, you have been forced into this situation. Jesus loves you and he understands. I will keep you all in prayer.
Jason, on January 4, 2014 at 2:01 pm said:

I am in RCIA right now and we have not yet made our first confession. I have a mortal sin and I would like to confess it, but our RCIA teacher says we should wait until we are at that point. What if I die between now and then and I do not get a chance to repent, even though I am truly sorry? Thanks.

FATHER JOE: I take it that you are a candidate from a Protestant church and not a catechumen needing baptism. Baptism forgives all sins and if such a person should die before receiving the sacrament then we would speak of baptism by desire. Once baptized you can never be baptized again, given that it is valid. Some churches do not follow the Scriptural formula of proper matter and form. Thus a person baptized in Christ but not the Trinity is still in need of valid baptism. Given that you are validly baptized, you should both fully understand the meaning of the sacrament of Penance and be resolved to reception into the Catholic faith. I cannot speak for where you are in the RCIA process. If you are concerned about your sins and have health issues, then bring up the matter privately with the pastor. The ultimate decision about Confession rests between you and the priest. In any case, make a good act of contrition with the intent of a future Confession. The absolution and graces of the sacrament are vital but not the only setting in which God can forgive sins. God knows your heart and acknowledges genuine sorrow for sin and contrition.
john, on January 3, 2014 at 10:39 pm said:

God’s people are necessarily reformed sinners(excepting his Blessed Mother). Their (or our) music can be a prayer. Thank you for indulging me.
john, on January 3, 2014 at 3:32 am said:

“Take a harp, go about the city, forgotten prostitute; Pluck the strings skillfully, sing many songs, that you may be remembered” (Isaiah 23:16).

“But her merchandise and her hire shall be sacred to the LORD. It shall not be stored up or laid away; instead, her merchandise shall belong to those who dwell before the LORD, to eat their fill and clothe themselves in choice attire” (Isaiah 23:18).

Father Joe, this is irony, where a sinner’s prayer may be beheld before the son of man, the son of God, song after song. Music is a gift, do we all have it?

FATHER JOE: The poetic text is about the trade among peoples conducted by the city of Tyre. It is prophesied that it will result in wealth for the People of God.
Lorenz Milkor, on December 30, 2013 at 5:49 am said:

One question Father: why are Saints and Jesus and Mary depicted with an halo? What is the real meaning of it?

FATHER JOE: The halo is seen in various forms across religious and cultural lines. It is usually circular although it may include crosses and/or rays. It is an affectation of art. Christianity borrowed it from the ancient Romans. It is supposed to signify an aura of holiness.
peter, on December 28, 2013 at 9:13 pm said:

Hello father,there are many questions in life yet few answers, around this time last year at the first full moon after christmas i started to hear celestial music and have no explanation as to why and to this day i hear it like angels playing what one would hear at westminster abbey and that same night the sound of a long horn sounding over my house and the night sky from the lowest point to the highest towards scotland as i lived in the north at that time.thank you father there is much to talk about. God bless you ,peter

Father i have come in search of the truth my faith st peter st michael st nicolaus st christopher st george and st patrick a man who has travelled far in life thrown through other peoples beliefs my ex partner deborah had me beg at the feet of my lord next the aulter as she looked down at me in church that day and laughed yet in my mind that day i hate for her and what love i felt was for my lord, st marys church in warrington this took place how can this be so when my heart and soul are as pure as ny faith,thankyou again farther

Also father one night when i looked at the smashed up tablet in the centre of my patio why did i only see a tunnel with a young boy at one end holding a white marble tablet and a 46 year old man at the other that was i , like i said father many questions yet no answers the night the water was poring over my head yet i wasn’t wet just a sensation running through my body from head to toe and the feeling of cold like ice coming up through my feet like every hair a tiny helium bollon as i floated out my chair and with all the love and grace of my lord my words are truth .thankyou father think ive said enough,god bless,peter
Blanca, on December 27, 2013 at 6:56 pm said:

Hi Father! A while back I had posted here that my oldest sister converted from Catholicism to a non-denominational church. Because of this, it has in a way enriched my own faith as she has shared many bible teachings with me that I didn’t know before, but at the same time, she does not like certain things that Catholics do and this has shaken the faith of my mother who is also a cradle Catholic.

FATHER JOE: I would be wary of how your sister interprets biblical teachings. As a Catholic you can read the Bible for yourself. She evidently has been indoctrinated to share Scripture in a way that is contrary to the inspiration of the Holy Spirit and the magisterium of the Church. Study Scripture in an authentic way with Catholic and less biased interfaith sources. Otherwise, you will play into her hands. Catholics seduced by ignorance and prejudice often feel motivated to do the same to others, within the delusion of enlightenment.

I tried talking to my mom over the holidays to steer her in the right direction, and she says the biggest thing that has now kept her away from Catholic church that my sister and her in-laws (also devout non-denominational Christians) told her was that Catholics kneel or kiss images and statues and that they showed her bible passages in which this is condemned.

FATHER JOE: Okay, here is the first deception, there is no such thing as non-denominational Christians. There are Catholic, Orthodox and Protestants. Your family has become Protestant. Second, the issue of images was resolved in the earliest days of Christianity. Your relatives have discarded traditions of faith going back to the beginning of the new faith. As I have said before, the economy of images changed because of the incarnation of Christ. The prohibition was never absolute, even in the Old Testament, but now in Jesus the Creator is one with his creation. Jesus is the revelation of the face of God. Scripture condemns idolatry or false worship, not the veneration of images.

I tried to explain to my mom that some people (especially in Mexico, where we are from) have a false and sinful superstition about certain images and statues they keep in their homes. I told her that paintings, images and statues are artwork and that we are not praying to those particular things, but rather praying to God with some visual aids, so to speak.

FATHER JOE: Yes and no, it is true that we should not worship creatures. However, the veneration of images is neither simply the use of cold visual aids nor false worship. Objects are made holy by that which is signified. They are sacramental. Is a mother who kisses the photo of her dead son committing sin? No, and yet she cherishes the image as a link to one she loves. It is a picture but more than a picture. Paintings, statues, crucifixes, holy cards, rosaries, holy water, etc. connect us to our Lord, the Holy Family and the saints.

I keep defending the Catholic church to my family, and I love Pope Francis, but then I saw a photo of his Christmas service where he is kissing a statue of a baby Jesus. This bothered me because here I am saying we don’t worship or kneel in front of icons or images and statues, and just a day later our Pope is kissing a statue. Can you PLEASE tell me how I can reconcile this?

FATHER JOE: Without knowing it, you may have begun to denounce your faith. Notice that you write “the Catholic church” and yet it should always be rendered as the Catholic “Church” with a capital “C”. Catholics regularly kiss statues, adorn them with flowers, bless them with holy water and incense and carry them in procession. The Pope did nothing new and nothing wrong. The statue of Baby Jesus signifies the Christ Child. It is Jesus he honored.
Patience, on December 26, 2013 at 5:15 am said:

Father, I am a Pentecostal woman dating a Catholic man. We plan on getting married in the very near future. We have agreed to have the wedding in a Catholic Church, but I will continue going to my church and he will continue going to his. None will convert to the other’s faith. While doing my research on the requirements, there are many sites that say that I have to sign a piece of paper saying our kids will be raised Catholic. Other sites are saying there is no such requirement on my part and the Catholic should agree to do everything in his power to raise the kids Catholic and all I have to do is allow him to teach them about his faith. I am now confused. Which is the correct teaching? Do the kids have to be Catholic because we had agreed that the kids to go to both churches and let them decide what they want when they are old enough and not impose the Catholic faith on them? I have already talked to my pastor about it and he says everything we have agreed on is okay. My boyfriend keeps saying he will talk to his priest, but he’s the shy type that really is uncomfortable so he might keep postponing till the last minute. I’d be very grateful for your help. Thank you.

FATHER JOE:

Dear Patience,

I cannot give you an absolute answer to your inquiry; for that the two of you need to speak to the priest at the church where you hope to get married. Have you met with him yet and set a date? The Church generally requires a six month waiting period for marriage preparation. You will have to meet with the priest, fill out prenuptial investigations, petition for a dispensation, and collect baptismal records. There will also be Pre-Cana classes and this may include FOCUS compatibility testing.

Turning to what you asked about directly, it was many years ago the practice to get the non-Catholic’s signature and promise on the dispensation request that he or she would not hinder the Catholic party’s faith and that all children would be raised Catholic. Today the dispensation requires the promise and signature of the Catholic party. The dispensation is crucial and comes from the bishop or his delegate. Catholics are forbidden to marry non-Catholics without a dispensation. The priest will give the reason for the dispensation; such includes any of the following: spiritual welfare of the parties, danger of marriage outside the Church, hope of conversion, removal of grave scandal, validation of an invalid marriage, family harmony, etc. The Catholic must make the following declaration or promise: “I reaffirm my faith in Jesus Christ and, with God’s help, intend to continue living that faith in the Catholic Church. I promise to do all in my power to share the faith I have received with our children by having them baptized and reared as Catholics.” The non-Catholic must be fully aware of this promise and obligation of the Catholic. The non-Catholic should not intend to actively prevent him or her from fulfilling it. If there is strong opposition, no dispensation may be possible and thus no marriage. Marriages of Catholics outside the Church are not recognized.

The type of dispensation will vary depending upon your religious background. If you were baptized in the name of the Trinity with water (and with the same general intention of the Church) then it is a dispensation from Mixed Religion. Marriage in the Church afterwards would be regarded as a sacrament. If you were not baptized or only in the name of Christ, then it would not be recognized by the Catholic Church and you would need a dispensation from Disparity of Cult. Marriage in the Church would not be a sacrament but a natural bond, as with any unbaptized person.

Tell your boyfriend to stop being shy. The two of you must speak to the priest together about all this without delay. For future reference, know also that there is the Charismatic Renewal in Catholicism. These are Catholics who may speak in tongues, lay hands upon each other for healing, give special witness and have a particular devotion to the Holy Spirit. Many Pentecostals find that the Renewal gives them a familiar place within Catholicism to call their own.

The difficulty with any children is that Catholics baptize babies and then they receive religious formation. Other sacraments are traditionally received in second grade (First Penance and First Holy Communion) and in eighth or ninth grade (Confirmation). Failure to do so would compromise the Catholic’s promise and any assent you give to his promise.

I had a friend in seminary whose family practiced double duty. The children were raised Catholic but they also attended the mother’s Methodist church. They supported the mother in her faith. But they only received sacraments in the Catholic Church. Catholics are obliged to go to Mass every Sunday. Families in mixed relationships are not permitted to alternate churches. Attendance at a non-Catholic church does not fulfill the Catholic’s obligation. My friend used to joke that all the church-going is probably what led him into becoming a priest.

I hope you can work out the situation. God bless!
Hans, on December 24, 2013 at 9:58 pm said:

This is a follow-up to my previous comment. I mentioned I was not brought up as a Catholic. In fact, I have some famous Puritan ancestors who regarded the Catholic Church as the work of Satan. Some of them were instrumental in setting up the early American colonies. For those who are unaware, the original American colonies were founded by Puritans beginning in 1620 with the Mayflower.

FATHER JOE: Actually, the Puritans of Plymouth Rock only represented Massachusetts. Different groups established other colonies, like the Quakers of Pennsylvania and the Catholics of Maryland. Father White said the first Mass on St. Clement’s Island on March 25, 1634.

Then the Freemasons were instrumental in setting up the United States in 1776. It is alleged that some of these Freemasons dabbled in Satanism and the occult. Franklin was a member of the “Hellfire” club which featured orgies. I find this progression from Puritans to Freemasons very interesting.

FATHER JOE: A number of the founding fathers were Masons and George Washington was remembered as both an Anglican and a Mason. However, these men did not see themselves as Satanists. Franklin attended a couple of club meetings but was not a member. I am not sure if any orgies were documented although institutions, even religious ones, were mocked. Aleister Crowley borrowed the motto of the club many years later which is probably where the Satanist charge comes in. The negative connections you make are somewhat strained.

Now here is my question. I used to listen to Fr. Malachi Martin’s talks on the old Art Bell show. He once mentioned, just in passing, that Satanism is to be found in certain old Puritan families. Have you heard anything about this? I would love to have a resource for further study on this question. This is the only time I ever heard him mention it.

FATHER JOE: I am skeptical about many of his claims. How would he know? He was also a novelist who made a living with sensationalism. While I liked him, myself, this undermined his credibility.

Many in my family were Freemasons. I always sensed something very wrong with this. I believe this cult destroyed my family. To be quite honest, even when I handled a Masonic Bible, which was kept at home, I felt something was not right with it. The first Bible I ever handled so that it felt totally right was my first Catholic edition of the Bible. When I handled it and read it— it seemed so pure. It’s hard to describe this feeling.

But I have always felt, whenever I was attracted to the Catholic Church, that some evil force was trying to destroy me by preventing me from being in the Church. Even after I was baptized and confirmed, this continued. But I felt basically helpless until earlier in the year when Mary came into my life. Unfortunately, as I mentioned in my earlier post, it is still difficult for me to maintain my faith. The attacks against me are very strong.

Thanks again for reading my posts.

FATHER JOE: You remain in my prayers.
Hans, on December 24, 2013 at 9:37 pm said:

On Oct 14 2013 I posted a complaint about confessions in my area. I was quite upset at that time and not thinking very clearly. Otherwise I never would have posted this complaint. Perhaps I would have contacted you privately by email for advice. Anyway, I would like to apologize for that post.

Even though at the time, in my very emotionally upset frame of mind, I hardly read your reply, I want you to know that somehow your words had an impression on me, which has stayed with me. Maybe it was just the spirit, not the words.

Let me add some facts which I did not report then.

First, I am able to find a priest for a private confession when I really want to. Recently I haven’t wanted to. When I did, it was a bit of work, but not impossible. If one priest is not available, another is. There is really no problem, just some inconvenience.

Second, I experienced a pretty remarkable chain of events earlier in the year which led me back to the Church. But then my skeptical mind took over and I dismissed all the things which happened. Sorry, in order to maintain my privacy I won’t go into details.

Third, the real source of my difficulty was this problem I have with faith. Part of this was my reaction to the new Pope. He said something to the effect that even atheists can go to heaven. So why bother with church, confession, etc. These are the kinds of thoughts I have sometimes.

However, it seems that, since my events of earlier in the year, I keep feeling a call to Mary. Strange. I was not brought up as a Catholic and never cared at all about Mary.

But today I found myself drawn to listen to the Lourdes hymn on Youtube. Earlier, when I had a healing I attributed to Mary, I listened to this hymn and every other hymn about Mary I could find.

I hope you don’t mind if I post the link:

I don’t really understand this whole thing about Mary. But I can’t seem to get away from it. Perhaps you have an explanation. How could someone raised as a non-denominational Protestant and a confirmed rationalist suddenly have Mary come into his life? This really makes no sense.

I remember you said in your reply that you prayed before you wrote it. Perhaps you can say another little prayer to help me out of my confusion?

I hope this follow-up post makes some kind of sense. I am writing on a sudden impulse after listening to the above hymn.

Thank you and Merry Christmas.
Ryan Kostrzewa, on December 23, 2013 at 2:07 am said:

Hi Father Joe,

I hope you’re having a blessed Christmas season! I’ve set a bit of an early New Year’s resolution to say a daily rosary, and I’m starting by doing a 54-day Novena. I’m a little confused though, because I find a variety of conflicting answers online about how to say the Novena. Specifically, I’m confused about which mysteries, to say on which day, whether or not to include the Luminous mysteries, and if the order of the mysteries matters at all. Do I follow the typical mystery schedule, or is there a special schedule for this Novena?

Thanks, and have a great Christmas and New Years!

-Ryan

FATHER JOE: I think the most important element is prayer, the accidentals may not matter so much.
Courtney H, on December 20, 2013 at 5:18 pm said:

Father, I have a question and really need advice on how to handle my particular situation. I have been having a very hard time with my Grandfather in the past year. Growing up he was someone that I always felt could support me and since Christmas 2012 i feel like I am a disgrace to him. He’s a practicing roman catholic who goes to church every Sunday and recently went on a pilgrimage. Were my problem lies is that although I grew up catholic I am not currently practicing for my own personal reasons, however I do still believe in God.

The problem between my Grandfather and I arose when he found out that my significant other and I were co-habitating, he basically then referred to my life style choice as being life a farm animal and that I broke his heart and essentially that he was going to disown me from his family. We have spoken very few times since then. I was hoping to have my significant other attend Christmas this year, we celebrate at my Grandfathers every year. However, my grandfather forbid him from coming and I expressed to him that it’s his house, his rules, but that I would still like for him to meet my significant other and for my Grandfather to inform me when he would like to do so. He proceeded to tell me that i will go through 3 or 4 more guys before he could possibly want to meet him because that is how people who do what i do are.

I am very hurt by what is going on because as a Catholic I think my Grandfather is not being very Catholic toward me, it also really hard for me because from recollections I’ve heard from my mother about things that happened to her and they way my Grandfather was when she was growing up, I want to call my Grandfather a hypocrite.

I just need advice and how to handle this situation in a way that my Grandfather will understand! PLEASE HELP!

FATHER JOE:

But what if your grandfather understands the matter correctly? He might be asking, how do I get my granddaughter to understand that this relationship cheapens her and threatens to rob her of a meaningful marriage, happiness and her immortal soul?

We are sinners and that means all Christians have been hypocrites from time to time. But whatever happened in your grandfather’s early life, he repented and today only wants for you to live a moral life. Out of love for you, I would recommend a meeting with your boyfriend. However, you cannot demand his blessing. In his place, I would also be very unhappy about the situation. If such a visit would imply staying over or sleeping in the same room then I would further agree with your grandfather. You would not be welcome. I would not want the commission of such mortal sin under my roof. Love does not rejoice over the possible forfeiture of divine union and heaven.

I suspect he still loves you very much and his upset comes from that love. The label of a “significant other” has no standing within traditional Christianity. It is a euphemism for a relationship of cohabitation and fornication with a mistress. When money and gifts are exchanged it takes on the pallor of prostitution and the kept woman. As a Catholic priest, I would not close my door to you or your boyfriend; however, I too would regard such actions as immoral and as a disgrace.

Your grandfather may always love you but he may never be able to accept what you have chosen. But your life is your own, just as he has his. You may just have to accept the fact that you have disappointed him and that you no longer walk the same road.
Blanca, on December 20, 2013 at 4:37 pm said:

In light of the recent scandal with the Duck Dynasty Phil interview on GQ, I couldn’t help but read a lot of the comments on social media and wonder. I think the one criticism of Phil that crept up the most was that he was bigoted for saying the things he said. Then people go on to say “well the bible also condones slavery and says that women should shut up” as well as other statements that are in the bible that no Christian practices today, and then go further by saying “Christians these days just pick and choose whatever they want to believe out of the bible.” I couldn’t find or think of any rebuttal to that pervasive argument and I was hoping you could shed some light on this issue because I really don’t understand how we “pick and choose” what we practice out of the bible. Thank you so much in advance and Merry Christmas.

FATHER JOE:

It is a good concern because many congregations have compromised the faith beyond any reasonable recognition. Catholicism would share many elements of the traditional moral code that Phil and his family espouse. But the Episcopalians, for instance, largely approve and bless same-sex bonds, permit contraception, tolerate divorce and remarriage, have women ministers or priestesses, and place so-called choice above the right to life of the unborn. There are certain Christian appearances, but the substance is increasingly evacuated. The fads and fashions of the day are given priority over immutable doctrine and values.

How would I answer the charges? While there is a timeless element to God’s Word, they also reflect the societies where they were inspired and composed. Let us look at the topics mentioned:

Slavery was an institution practiced among pagans and Jews. Like the writ of divorce that Moses permitted, it was tolerated but was not the way things were supposed to be. Our Lord and his apostles brought the saving message to both masters and servants. The theme that prevails is that even the so-called slave or servant is a person of value, worthy of forgiveness, healing and eternal life. The seeds of liberation are planted in the Gospels. As St. Paul reminds us, in Christ there is neither Jew nor Gentile, free or slave, male or female. God’s grace is available to all who believe. We still have forms of servant-hood and employment, but the dignity of the person must always be respected. A man in the past might have slaves, but the Church insisted that they had to be viewed as one’s brothers and sisters. People are converted, not things are animals. American slavery and the slave trade did not respect such truths. Just because Christians were involved did not make it right. Popes were condemning slavery in the 1600’s as a questionable institution that had outlived its welcome, but dissenters (even among Catholics) perpetuated the practice just as dissenters continue to reject Church teaching today on matters like the sanctity of life and the meaning of marriage. Slavery in the past also included indentured servants who voluntarily paid off debts. This was quite different from generational slavery where people were treated as cattle and families were separated. There is a development of doctrine; the seed grows and eventually we see how slavery is contrary to the spirit of the Gospel.

Women are told to keep silent in the churches. While this may have reflected the traditional Jewish practice, there may have been other immediate concerns. Various pagan societies had female oracles and it may be that these prophetesses threatened to take control of Christian communities. They would go into trances and just ramble on and on. The Pauline prohibition would silence these women, many whom might have been under demonic manipulation. Catholicism has only recently given women roles in the liturgy as with Readers. However, officially installed Lectors are still only men as the ministry is a minor order toward priesthood. This may bring us to the real concern. Only men can be priests. We see this as immutable. That is how I would read the teaching today. Women cannot officiate at the liturgy of the Church. This has not changed.
Jenna, on December 19, 2013 at 5:58 pm said:

Thank you for your quick reply, Father. That has given me a lot of peace. On further reflection, I think I was interpreting the phrase “I cannot love” as ” I DO NOT love,” but perhaps the more literal sense is accurate: He cannot love in the sense that it is impossible for an unrepentant soul to receive the love He offers.

Thank you again! May God bless you!
Jenna, on December 19, 2013 at 4:11 pm said:

Father, I’ve been struggling with doubts and scrupulosity a lot lately. Recently a doubt popped into my head and I can’t seem to be rid of it. Does God love us, even when we’re in a state of mortal sin? I know He will always forgive us if we approach Him in the sacrament of Reconciliation, and I know that mortal sin is US refusing Him and His love, but does He ever stop loving us? I was reading the Diary of St. Faustina and this quote from Jesus scared me: “I cannot love a soul which is stained with sin; but when it repents, there is no limit to My generosity toward it.”

Does that mean that if we commit a mortal sin and it takes some time (even if it’s only a few seconds) before we’re repentant, that Jesus has stopped loving us momentarily?

FATHER JOE: Sister Faustina may be a saint but this does not mean that everything she writes must be believed or is infallible. It is still the stuff of private revelation. Her writings were suppressed for forty years. Sainthood means one is holy, not that one is always right. If I were to give an orthodox interpretation to her words that she applies to Christ, it would be that we are not disposed to divine love when we are in mortal sin. God never stops loving us, any more than a good parent could stop loving a prodigal child. It is only with repentance and mercy that we can avail ourselves of sanctifying grace.
Clare, on December 14, 2013 at 9:51 pm said:

Thank you Father, I know what is happening is wrong and I am going to try and do something about it. God bless you and thank you