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NEW MESSAGES/HOMILIES CHRISTIAN REFLECTIONS DEFENDING THE FAITH
Blogger Priest 
Hello Father. Can I go to communion if I live with my girlfriend with out fornication?
A message from Louise . . .
There is a book that compiles transcripts of confessions recorded with a hidden microphone and without the confessor’s or the penitent’s knowledge. It is from the 1960’s and the people confessing are left anonymous. I am awfully curious about it but it feels wrong to read it. Would it be sinful to read such a book?
My response . . .
I am appalled that such a book was ever written and published. While I do not know the work in question, I can answer your question quite bluntly— do not purchase it, do not read it and if by accident you own it, throw it where it belongs— into the trash. Regardless that the names of penitents remain anonymous, the fact remains that both priest and penitent were unaware of the recording and did not give permission. The one who made the recordings and the subsequent book committed a grievous sin. Those with a prurient interest in the sins of others would better be concerned about their own failings and need for mercy. Not only are we talking about a violation of the seal of confession but what is arguably a criminal act. Would it be sinful for you to read such a book? Really, you have to ask? You would make yourself party to the sinful acts of others.
Hello Father Joe,
Few days ago situation I could never think of happened to me. I’m battling for over a year now with anxiety. My big fear is having my husband see other naked women (or in revealing clothes). The problem became severe to the point where anxiety attacks cause me ptsd troubles sleeping. Few days ago my husband and I came to gas station to fill up the car and buy him some coffee and snack. Usually I try to avoid normal gas stations as they very often have porn magazines inside. This specific gas station didn’t have any magazines and we knew it (that’s why we came to this one). On the way to my home country where it all happened (days before the traumatic experience happened) I told my husband I’m going to give my best this Easter holidays and that I’ll try to provide him most relaxing holidays so far (fighting against my demons and anxiety over other women). I felt really hopeful and first few days I did great! It hurt but I kept trying and letting us have good healthy days no matter how bad I felt trying to do so. And then, on Easter afternoon after mass we went to nature for a walk (my husband is trying to lose weight and I’m going along with him and losing my own although I want to gain it). After a lovely walk in nature I was happy and he said that he wants to grab coffee and we ended up on gas station where it all happened. We filled up but the cashier didn’t give us enough time as she was in the rush so we ended up with buying no snack at all and the wrong coffee. My husband moved then car from pump to air pressure section which was only few meters away. I got out of the car and I suggested to go back inside and ask cashier to change our coffee and also get him a snack. He said no need few times but I insisted as I was really happy that I could do something for him. I went inside while my husband was checking his tire pressure. It took me a while to change coffee (maybe 3 minutes) but once I was done I got out of store and smiled at him. I was so happy I did this as someone who is anxious to interact with people. I smiled but he didn’t and then he said: Something horrible happened, you’re going to have attack. When I heard those words my stomach flipped and I asked what happened. He pointed at the ripped newspaper part on the floor. I kneeled and went to flip it and there it was. Naked woman picture. My greatest fear of all. The chances of this happening right under our car at that exact moment were really low, Father. I was so happy and feeling so safe knowing I’m going to do something that will make my husband happy and knowing he is doing nothing more but checking his tires. The split second I saw what was on the paper I got into car and I had the biggest anxiety painful attack I ever had. I couldn’t think of people around our car I just yelled and cried out of pain in my palms. He got in the car and drove us bit further where I kept crying and then we both talked about how shocked we are that this happened to us on a Holy Easter day. It’s been few days since it happened and it won’t let me go, father. I keep crying every morning and night. I can’t forget it. I prayed few times. What I want to know father is your opinion and the words to encourage me. But mostly your opinion. I believe in good so I believe in evil. Ever since it happened I can’t stop thinking about the idea that it might’ve been Satan. It’s as if the day where I promised I’ll make our holidays better he decided and said: No, you won’t! The chances of this ripped paper with that exact thing on it face up so it’s visible (the nudity in newspapers is really rare) are very low. I believe the evil didn’t want to let me have rest. It still doesn’t let me. I want to know your opinion Father and if you think as well that this was evil. If not then what was it and why did it happen to me? Thank you in advance for your answer. God bless you.
Glory to Jesus Christ!
Easter is coming soon, and I want to confess. But there’s one problem— I have a sin, I can’t leave quickly, because it can make too many problems for me. But I want to try to leave it in a few months.
What I should do? Can I go to confess in this case, or it will be a bad confess?
I hope that God will help me to solve this problem.
A message from Lucinda . . .
Father,
I am a young girl who wishes to be closer to God, but I am unsure if I can be because of my sexuality. I am bisexual. I feel attraction to both men and women. Many say this is a sin, but I would like to ask a priest for an opinion. I do not wish to sacrifice my happiness, but I want to be closer to the Lord. Is being gay a sin?
If being bisexual is a sin, what shall I do? How can I repent from this? What do I do to stop myself from being attracted to women? I’m unsure if it is possible, as being bisexual is more than a label; it is a part of who I am. Perhaps God has made me this way – does he accept that I am gay? Or does the Lord wish for me to repent and reject these feelings?
I would really appreciate some help. Thank you.
My response . . .
First, we need to be aware that we live in an eroticized culture where we are saturated with immodest images and fed the lie that only those who are sexually active can be happy and fulfilled.
Second, only you can get into your head and heart as to how you know yourself and in how you feel about people and the world around you. Are you truly bisexual or just conflicted as a youth? It is not for me to say. However, so as to respond to your inquiry, I will take what you say at face value.
Third, both the Scriptures and the Church teach that sexual activity (the marital act) is reserved to married men and women. The sexual powers are directed to the unity of spouses with the accompanying goods of fidelity and procreation. Same-sex relationships are not capable of a sexual act that is open to the generation of new human life.
Fourth, while the catechism will speak of same-sex attraction as disordered, it is not in itself sinful. However, the acting out of same-sex intimacy would constitute serious sin. It should be noted that heterosexual sexual relations outside of marriage also constitute sin. Men and women are made for each other but relations should be within the covenant or sacrament of holy matrimony.
Now, how do I respond? It is crucial that you do not simply identify yourself by the single characteristic of sexual attraction. You are so much more than this. I have known heterosexual men and women deeply wounded in spirit and personality because they narrowly define themselves and their happiness by the exuberance of their carnal lives. One poor woman I counseled decades ago was deceived into thinking she only had worth when men wanted her and were regularly taking her to bed. Behind the lust and fleeting excitement, she was very unhappy and frustrated. She told me that she felt as if she was being pulled apart and in different directions. Such a lifestyle made it impossible for her to be whole. The fruit of such a life was not a family and a home but a long string of abortions and a sense of abandonment.
There is a deception that many buy when preparing for marriage. We often hear spouses say such silly things as, “I am only half a person without him or her.” The truth says different— married or single— we must be whole and complete in ourselves. It is this appreciation that allows a celibate priest or brother or nun to be happy. We can have many friends but you do not need sex to be complete or to know joy. If you are truly bi-sexual then it is possible that you might find a young man to marry and to have a family. If not, you can still be rich with love and friendship, albeit without sexual congress. Do not buy the lie that love must always be expressed sexually or genitally. I know many men and women who love each other in an intense but brotherly or sisterly manner.
However you feel about your identity, if you are serious about being holy, then God will give you the grace to do so. The Gospel of Christ promises us the Lord’s friendship and a share in his risen life. However, there is also the command to take up our crosses and follow him. We cannot have everything or everyone we want in this world. The love that Christ would have us known is inherently sacrificial. We seek to be good and holy while trying to bring others along with us in the pilgrimage of faith. God forbid that we should turn away from the Lord or lead others into sin because of our selfishness.
Who are you? While gender and attraction are part of the equation, you are so much more. Look beyond it. Make an assessment of your gifts. Discern your calling and move forward as a child of God.
A message from Cali . . .
Seeing as you are a priest I’d like to get your opinion on something. I am currently not on speaking terms with my sister. A couple of weeks back her daughter went with me on an egg hunt and she was acting up in the car so I disciplined her. My sister didn’t like what was said. A few days later I gave my niece a warning to quit disrespecting me because she kept pushing my buttons and my sister took it as a threat. I’ve read in the Bible that Jesus said if a brother has anything against you, to put down your gift at the altar and make amends with your brother first. Does this mean that I am not able to receive Holy Communion since my sister will not talk to me and is holding a grudge? Thanks for your time.
My response . . .
How old is the child? Little kids can be annoying but we as adults need to do what we can to be patient. As they get older, the need for discipline becomes more crucial. However, some people are very sensitive about others trying to correct their children. Does your sibling not see the need for her child to treat others with respect? Does she discipline her children? There is too much I do not know about the particular situation to give a satisfactory answer. If you want to make amends with your sister and she has closed the door to you then there is not much you can do. Unburden your soul in confession, keep them in prayer and humbly approach the sacraments. Peace!
My Wife is not catholic and even not religious. My mother-in-law tells my 5 year old son that he doesn’t need to go to Church with me and grandparents have great influence on him. We have another child (1 year old) who is crying the whole mass when I take him, so I have given up. We live in the same house with parents of my wife. We were married in Catholic Church. I feel exhausted and frustrated and all I can do is pray for the situation. I feel that I can not handle it all. My wife has had a serious depression in the past and the last thing I want to do is to have a serious fight. She avoids all the hard topics. And there’s nothing I can do to get my children to Church on Sundays…. I don’t know what happens when he grows older… I’m worried, exhausted and totally torn about the situation. Any advice??? I feel alone. Non of my parents or relatives are catholics. The godfather of our Children is also far and I don’t know how to solve this…Help! Thank you Father….
Hello Father. I came into the Church in 2000; my adult son came into the Church in around 2010 or 2011. A few months after that he suffered an anoxic brain injury and is now physically and mentally disabled. He has a lot of memory loss and does not remember becoming Catholic and also has a lot of anger at God. He does like to go to Mass occasionally and is confused about why he should not take communion. I have explained to him that it has been so long that he would need to speak to a priest and make a confession. Honestly, I do not think he could make a confession without a lot of help, which I am sure the priest could provide, and I do not think he would make an effort to attend Mass every week. I told him he could attend Mass and make an act of spiritual communion if he would like. He has trouble with consistency and goal setting due to his brain injury. I want to encourage him but not set him up for failure. Thank you for your insight.
Hi,
For a penance a priest asked me to read and meditate on a scripture passage. I’m not sure how to meditate on it, what did he mean by that?
A message from Al . . .
Father,
Could you please answer a question for me . . . I don’t understand why God hates animals. I know he gave man free will. Animals depend on humans to take care of them. But humans do such horrible things to them and they can’t take care of themselves. Please help me understand. Thank You.
My response . . .
God loves his creation. Genesis tells us that God gave the stewardship and subjugation of material creation into the hands of humanity. Pope Francis and others would remind us that sometimes we have failed in this sacred charge, trashing the environment and either abusing the animals with which we share the good earth or even speeding certain species toward extinction. The fault as with all sin is a misuse of human freedom. The problem is not God but the callous way that we as men and women treat what God has made. Humanity stands between the two created realms— the spiritual and the material. Our souls possess a kinship with the angels while our bodies make us a part of the mortal and physical world. Certain animals like dogs have developed a shared affinity and friendship with the human race. Others are used as beasts of burden and as food. This might seem harsh, but it is all part of the nature of things. Even if animals should not have immortal souls, nothing is lost in God. We can have certitude that all things continue to exist as eternal paradigms in the divine mind. If people fail to show compassion to other human persons, should we be surprised when animals are mistreated? Maybe God has given you this keen appreciation of the status of animals so that you might become an advocate for their ethical treatment?
What does it mean when the water turns black after baptism
If you stop believing and stop fellowshipping with other believers, would the church still consider you a Christian?
FATHER JOE: Faith and baptism constitutes being born again in Christ. We are made members of the Church. Catholics will always be Catholics. Many Protestants believe in the notion, “once saved, always saved.” Catholics believe that faith can sour. That is why we have the sacrament of penance to restore sanctifying grace after the commission of mortal or deadly sin. This is background to your question. While we (our souls) are perpetually “marked as Christian” and we are configured for Christ, the person in sin can reject Christ’s presence and friendship. The space made for Christ becomes empty. That is why some are called Christian in name only. Catholicism defines saving faith in Christ as realized in loving obedience. We also believe that faith is both personal and corporate (communal) in the Church. Those who would stop believing and morally separate themselves from Jesus Christ and his Church are damned.
Hello, I recently confessed that I watched porn but forgot to mention I purchased porn too is that ok that I didn’t say that? is it a mortal sin too?
Dear Father Joe,
I have recently been thinking about some actions that I had done against certain individuals, especially specifically one in the past which was lying to them about multiple things, and doing stupid things against them and lying to them that it was me.
I am wondering as these things are years old, yet one thing that I did which was a mortal sin and I explicitly many times denied that it was me, and this thing is not affecting this person’s life today yet they are likely still reflecting on it every once in a while.
Would you think that I am obligated and therefore should tell the truth and admit that it was I who did that and lied about other things as well?
I feel that on one hand I should, but on the other hand, whether or not I do, what was done was done and these are not things that are affecting this person to this day, and that if this ever comes up in discussion that I would have to say something then, kmowing full well they most likely will never talk to me again as a result.
I am thinking since lying is a fraud of truth that in order to make restitution that I would have to speak the truth regardless of the consequences in order to make amends for my sin. What do you think?
I recently went to confession and I was intentionally vague regarding a mortal sin; is my confession invalid or should I understand that God knows what I am truly sorry for and accept his forgiveness?
Any recommendations for a scrupulous person, in terms of how to limit compulsive praying? I feel the need to pray 16 novena prayers every day, and when/if I don’t, I worry something bad will happen. Thanks.
My mother prays the rosary yet lives in fear.
She says she is being cautious but to me it seems to defeat the purpose of prayer.
Is this normal with Catholics?
My wife and I have been married for 30 years. We were both Baptized and married in the Catholic Church. Our sons were all baptized and raised catholic.
Recently my wife revealed to me that she is no longer catholic. She cites all the scandals and lack of women priests as the reason she left the church.
I am devastated and completely at a loss. I am not sure what to do. Can we still be married?
Is it possible for someone to have an entity with in. But the host was raised in belief of GOD, and in church. But threw out the host life, there has been internal voice of pure evil. And outside marks. Scratches, burns on the skin. Is this possible. Is it GODS love within keeping it in check. Other things that have been witness by others. But no need for details. Is it possible to keep it at bay with religious studies, witch Is being done. Sorry the question is, is this possible? Thank you.
When I was young, too young to understand the Bible or the basic idea of Christianity, I desecrated a holy bible and yelled at God and Jesus for my minuscule problems. I’m worried that I committed the unforgivable sin of blasphemy against the holy spirit at a time when I didn’t even believe God was real, Is there any hope for me, or am I fated to suffer in hell forever?
Is it a waste to pray for those in Purgatory or in hell? I understand that we are the Kingdom of God, for he is and in everything and everyone. He is us as much as we are him. Though, I wonder from such teachings, if once a soul has passed, no worry of destination, that if it is a waste to pray for those? If he is everywhere, why are we taught to disregard those who chose their destination?
Dear father,
My boyfriend is Muslim and I am a catholic and we are planning on getting married but we wanted to know if we can get married not in a church, in a hall or a wedding venue as it is not possible for him to marry in a church
Thank you father
My daughter was never baptized. When she was younger. The Priest wouldn’t do it because, I had been divorced.
My daughter was raised to believe in our Lord. Now being an adult she’s not married but lives with her partner. They have a 10month old and was baptized at my daughter’s request. She wants to be baptized any suggestions other than marriage? Thank you
Hello Fr.,
I made a confession a while ago for some very severe mortal sins that I’d committed a long time ago. While I was confessing specific things, I also confessed to “committing pretty much every vice many times,” by which I basically meant the capital vices. I was nervous, mostly because of what I’d confessed before, and after I said that I elaborated by saying that I’d lied many times. Here’s what I’m wondering about. I then intended to say that I’d stolen small things many times over the course of my life, but instead I trailed off. I was nervous, and my only thought was that confessing that could be saved for another time. I’m not sure if I ever thought of it as being venial or mortal, although I probably would’ve assumed that it was a mortal sin if I had thought about it. Would not specifically confessing to this invalidate the entire sacrament?
I have since taken the theft thing to confession as well, but I didn’t mention the situation with the previous confession. If it’s not valid, does this constitute sacrilage?
Thanks
Father My son and his wife asked me to join them at the Catholic Church my son grew up in for this Sunday mass. I accepted but have to tell my daughter in law that she isn’t allowed to take communion unless she becomes a Catholic. I noticed another time that she did How can I tell her with care and love that this is not okay?