Ask a Priest

5,442 Responses

Krishtian, on July 30, 2016 at 12:10 am said:

I recently wanted to find out more about Jesus in order to become closer to him. I started reading various Gnostic Texts such as the Pistis Sophia and Nag Hammadi. However when I was reading these text this intense anxiety of fear came over me. One that I had never experienced before. My daughter all of a sudden caught a fever in a matter of hours and I felt like I couldn’t move and was struggling to find the strength to help her. I have been up for literally 3 days straight and my daughter will not leave my side.

Did I do something horribly wrong or is this all coincidence?

FATHER JOE: I am unable to judge the source for the strange events that happened. However, I will say this. You cannot come to better know Jesus or to enter into a saving relationship with him by studying or believing in heretical Gnostic texts. Read the canonical Gospels!
Joy, on July 29, 2016 at 7:31 pm said:

Father Joe, is the Rosary of the Unborn condemned by the Catholic Church, discouraged or is it OK, encouraged, promoted to use and take part in?

FATHER JOE:

Stay far away from it.

Bishop Richard Lennon of the Diocese of Cleveland was asked to investigate this matter by the Vatican. He issued and letter and decree (2009) asserting:

“I declare that the alleged apparitions and locutions to Maureen Sweeney Kyle are not supernatural in origin.”

“I forbid members of the clergy of any jurisdiction to celebrate the sacraments on the site of Holy Love Ministries.”

“I admonish the faithful of the Diocese of Cleveland to cease gathering for any religious, liturgical, spiritual or devotional purpose on the site of Holy Love Ministries.”

This clearly means that neither Jesus nor Mary is communicating special messages and promises. Maureen Sweeney Kyle cannot speak for Mary or propose any genuine supernatural promises. Indeed, her site says that payment for religious items should be regarded as donations but without any expected tax write off or consideration. In other words, this is a profit-making operation. She is literally exploiting religion for personal gain. One of three possibilities remain… (1) outright malicious intent, (2) personal delusion, or (3) occult spiritual deception. Remember the devil can twist the good to the advantage of the bad.

Pro-Life advocates would best avoid her. Holy Love Ministries is not a Catholic ministry. They call themselves an “ecumenical ministry” but it is actually its own religion or church. They renounce the authority of the Catholic Church over them. The Church is the great sacrament of Christ… the mystical body. Mary would not fight her Son of his Church. The saints are in communion with the Church, not in rebellion against her.

They emphasize there is something special about their rosaries. The more I examine the site, the more I am convinced that it is a money scam where people of traditional piety and pro-life sentiments are being exploited.
littlemrs, on July 29, 2016 at 2:34 pm said:

Dear Father Joe,
I would humbly like to request prayers for my family. We live in a townhouse with drug dealing activity going on next door. The new tenant is quite obviously running a drug house (it is known to the police narcotics division – I have called). My husband and I are desperately trying to get out of here and rent a house but are having problems finding a place. We need help breaking our lease on the grounds of illegal activity but our management company is very hard to work with. We have also had no real solid leads on houses. Could you please pray for our situation? We are terrified and praying constantly.
Thank you!

FATHER JOE: I will keep you and your family in prayer. May God help and protect you!
Dallas Stoner, on July 28, 2016 at 11:48 pm said:

I feel God is calling me to be a priest but I really want to have children when I’m older, what should I do?

FATHER JOE: If God is truly calling you to be a priest then he will give you the grace of celibacy. You should continue to discern, and if this sacrifice is too much for you, then you are being called to something else.
Father Joe, on July 28, 2016 at 2:05 pm said:

Some time back I authored a post where I wrote that I was trying to understand the Pope. I am still trying.

I am assured by people who are supposedly in the know about Pope Francis that his views about faith and morals reflect the catechism. Indeed, about some things he is very traditional, preferring intinction to the shared communion chalice and speaking about the danger from the devil and hell. The argument comes back again and again to the matter of pastoral accommodation. I tend to think that praxis should immediately signify or support the doctrinal stance. The Holy Father’s view of accommodation would tolerate certain wrongs or defects so that they might eventually be corrected. He also seems to think that many people may be baptized Catholics, but suffer from negative cultural influences and ignorance. They are largely poorly catechized and only superficially Christian. It is in this context that he speaks about human sexuality and marriage. I have always preferred a theology “from above” that starts with God and the moral law. He begins with a theology from “below” or the reality of the lived human condition. Conclusions may ultimately be the same, but how we get there may be quite different.

As I respond to your comment, there is an update about which you might not be aware:

June 17, 2016 Clarification by the Vatican: Pope Francis approved a revision to the official transcript to say that “a portion” of sacramental marriages are null, instead of “the great majority.”

The Holy Father is speaking about practices among largely illiterate people along Argentina’s northeast countryside. They suffer from a level of ignorance fueled by superstition. Unmarried couples “have a child and live together.” The Pope says that “they have a civil wedding when the child goes to school, and when they become grandparents they ‘get married religiously.'” I have encountered similar problems with immigrants. Many Africans celebrate a three-tiered marriage ceremony: a civil marriage, a tribal marriage and a church marriage. The do not always seem to be worried about the order and how long the time is between the elements and what we would regard as the true marriage before a priest and two witnesses. Superstition and ignorance would not change the objective norm, but it might have an effect upon the subjective culpability.

I think much of the confusion is that the Pope fails to clarify statements and sometimes misspeaks. If you read the context, he admits that we have a problem in the area of cohabitation, sex outside marriage, and divorce and remarriage. Cardinal Wuerl emphasizes that there has been no change in doctrine. Rather, the argument is how to respond to these challenges. If we close all the doors and windows to such people we may lose them forever from the Church. The Holy Father, when he speaks of accompaniment, seems to envision a slow or gradual pastoral process of wooing people back to the faith.

When the Holy Father speaks of couples lacking the sacrament as in real marriages or as receiving grace, I must admit that I am somewhat perplexed. I suspect he is speaking about the law of nature and natural graces. These graces might come to couples, even in irregular or non-sanctioned unions, but due to fidelity to the beloved and their children. These would not include the actual graces or sanctifying grace that comes with the sacrament. The natural graces that the Pope mentions would not be directed to our supernatural end or salvation. But here I am only guessing. But, whatever he means, not one word of the catechism has changed.
Ana, on July 27, 2016 at 12:00 am said:

Hi Father,

For reasons I can’t pinpoint, I’ve been having more nightmares and triggers about the bad things that happened. I’ve been given the counsel to forgive the offenders/abusers whenever that happens, but don’t know if I fully understand what that looks like in practice. I’ve did some praying and learning, but wondered if you had any extra tips on forgiveness. They never say it, but I think my friends and betters want me to get over it so I can enjoy my life away from those people now. I would like to appreciate this new life better, too.

Thanks as always,
-Ana
Eliot, on July 26, 2016 at 6:51 am said:

I’ll try to keep this brief. My wife and I got married in city hall when both her and I were not Christian. Some time after we got married I started going to churches. Eventually I got Baptized in the Episcopal Church, but after some time felt like the truth was still out there. I found the truth in the Catholic Church. I am in RCIA hoping to complete the Sacraments of Penance, Confirmation, and Eucharist to become fully Catholic. That said, tonight, the RCIA director told me that before I could become fully Catholic, since I got married in city hall, I would have to also complete the Sacrament of Marriage and get married in the Catholic Church. She made it sound like I would not be able to go to Confession, Eucharist, and Confirmation until I first got married in the Church. Only I am trying to become Catholic (my wife is not Baptized and not interested in any faith). Neither of us have been previously married. Is it true that I cannot become Catholic until I get married in the Church?

FATHER JOE:

Your RCIA director is incorrect or wrong. The pastor should be able to set her straight. These matters are a bit confusing and RCIA directors often have a good grasp of the faith but not of Church law.

When you married your wife at the city hall neither you nor your spouse was a Christian. Marriages between Protestants or non-Christians before civil magistrates are recognized by the Catholic Church as both licit and valid. You are already married and cannot be married again, even before a priest in the Church.

Although you are now baptized, your wife is not. This means that your bond is a natural one and not sacramental. If your wife at some future date should get baptized, the natural bond would automatically become a sacrament. Both sacramental and natural bonds require the spouses to be faithful to each other until death. In any case, there is no requirement for your wife to convert or to marry you again. As I said before, you are already married to her according to the laws of God and the Church.

Be respectful, but let the RCIA director know that you have conferred with a priest and that you do not need a second ceremony in the Church. Indeed, such would be forbidden. If either of you had been a Catholic at the time of the marriage then the director would have been correct. However, while Catholics must obey Church laws, we would make no such demand upon non-Catholics. (You can share my answer and/or bring your pastor into the picture.)

The pattern to be followed in your case is simple. After the required catechesis you would go to Confession to a priest. You are already baptized and so that will not be repeated. When you are brought fully into the Church you will make an Act of Reception, receive Confirmation and then Holy Communion. That is it. Peace!
Sue, on July 25, 2016 at 11:20 pm said:

Father Joe, Is a marriage considered sacramental and thereby all graces conferred upon the recipients, if one of the recipients does not state the wedding vows? During our wedding ceremony, the priest started saying the vows first to my husband, and expected him to repeat them. However my husband did not recognize or understand that he was supposed to speak, so he remained silent. Surprisingly, the priest did not say anything to him and just kept going on with the vows. When the priest turned to me and started with the vows, I repeated them. My husband said he realized then that he was supposed to have recited the vows right after the priest, but then he didn’t know what to do and didn’t think he could correct the priest and go back and say his vows. The ceremony went on and the priest announced us man and wife and this was 19 years ago. The priest has since passed away, but this has always gnawed at me, and I wonder if we have a sacramental marriage. We have experienced a lot of problems in our marriage (and continue to do so) and I wonder if we have missed out on the necessary graces we need to make this marriage work. Thank you.

FATHER JOE: (My response presumes marriage before an authentic Catholic priest in a church and with faculties from the bishop.) Priests witness marriages but the couple is the true minister. It may be that the priest construed your husband’s consent through certain words or gestures that are now forgotten. I take it was a mutual desire to get married even though nerves and confusion may have ensued. The priest should probably have been more exacting, but the fault (if any) was his. Vows may be said or there may be an assent, “I do.” You stood before a priest and witnesses. He confirmed to the community that you were husband and wife. All marriages (yes, even with grace) have struggles and problems. I would suggest that you brush the doubts aside. Every time you loved each other you have realized those vows. As you approach 20 years, you might want to renew your vows from years ago. The new rite of matrimony has a ritual for this. Be at peace about it. The priest acknowledged that you fulfilled what was required under the law of the Church. Just keep making it real every day by your fidelity and love.
Anthony, on July 25, 2016 at 4:28 pm said:

Is it a sin to have a wet dream?

FATHER JOE: Dreams cannot be absolutely controlled. Consent is seriously diminished. You are not responsible and thus there is no sin. There is some culpability for what is done when you awaken.
Laura, on July 25, 2016 at 1:29 am said:

This is a confusing situation. I have a question about my three-year old daughter’s baptism. My husband, who is Roman Catholic, and I recently divorced. Our daughter was baptized in the Roman Catholic Church. Unbeknownst to me, he had filed for divorce a little over a month before her baptism. I had no idea he filed at the time she was baptized. I am not Catholic. I don’t know what rules govern Catholic baptisms. But he is raising her Catholic without my agreement. What I would like to know is, since he filed for divorce before the baptism, is our daughter really even baptized since it is clear that both parents do not intend on raising our daughter Catholic (the father does, but I do not). I am Protestant and from an episcopal family. Also, from what I have read, the parents are to have a meeting with the priest prior to a Roman Catholic baptism. That never happened, at least that I was aware of. How could someone give their marital status to a priest before baptism of his child, knowing full well he filed for divorce without telling anyone? Essentially, what I am trying to find out is whether or not her father followed proper Roman Catholic baptism procedures, and what can be done if he did not.

FATHER JOE:

There should be a baptismal preparation class for parents before the baptism of the first child. It is open to parents and perspective godparents.

Were you at the baptism? Are you sure it happened? The priest responds to what he is told. We will baptize the children of divorced parents and even when they are not married at all.

If you were married in the Catholic Church, then the Catholic party promised to do all in his/her power to raise the children in the faith. The non-Catholic must be made aware of this promise, with the appreciation that any hindrance would make the required dispensation difficult or impossible. Without the dispensation, no marriage is possible between Catholics and non-Catholics.

Obviously, parents should come to an agreement about how they are going to raise children… but unfortunately the priest and the Church do not always receive the full story.

In any case, your question is about the status of the baptism. If the child were baptized Catholic then the child is a Catholic and always will be. He or she will be judged by God as such. No matter what mishandling and/or possible deception, it cannot be repeated or undone.

Further, the Catholic Church does not recognize divorce. Until proven otherwise to a marriage tribunal, the Church still regards you two as husband and wife. Of course, if not married in the Catholic Church, then the bond would never have been recognized initially.

Many questions are left unanswered? Who has custody of the children?
Richard, on July 23, 2016 at 5:07 am said:

Father,

I thought of this question was because of organ donation. I have been undecided on whether to become an organ donor or not and have been doing a lot of research into the Church’s stance.

The Church’s current stance is that it is okay if certain conditions are met, namely, that the person is absolutely and unquestionably dead.

From a medical standpoint, the current consensus is that the person is dead once they are determined to be brain dead. But does the soul truly leave the body when we become brain dead? A medical professional (and likely atheist) would say, yes, that our brain is scientifically all that makes us, us. But as Christians we are told that life is a sacred gift, and that the whole of our bodies need to be cherished, respected, and protected. To me, it seems that harvesting a brain dead person’s organs with the heart still beating and the organs being kept “fresh” goes directly against the Church’s stance that the person must be unequivocally dead; what’s most important to the Church and God is that our soul has left the body.

But don’t our souls ENVELOP our bodies, they are not constrained to one body part (the brain). I’m just confused that we are told that the whole of our body is sacred, but then magically when just one part isn’t working anymore, somehow the rest of the body is up for grabs.

I want to make the right choice in the eyes of the Church. I know that right now, the Church has basically given the okay on all post-mortem organ donation, a conclusion that it came to after several deliberations. I think it very well could be up for further deliberation and that the Church could possibly not be 100% correct on this.

God Bless,

Richard

FATHER JOE:

You bring up good concerns and questions. Here is the response from the universal catechism:

[2296] Organ transplants are in conformity with the moral law if the physical and psychological dangers and risks to the donor are proportionate to the good sought for the recipient. Organ donation after death is a noble and meritorious act and is to be encouraged as an expression of generous solidarity. It is not morally acceptable if the donor or his proxy has not given explicit consent. Moreover, it is not morally admissible to bring about the disabling mutilation or death of a human being, even in order to delay the death of other persons.

A friend of mine (Mercedes Wilson) argues that there is no true death until putrification. However, such a verdict would make problematical many if not most organ transplants. In practice, the Church seems to give the weight to the general verdict of physicians. In any case, to unsettle you further, here is a link for an important article:

http://www.truthaboutorgandonation.com/Braindeathnotdeath.html
Joy, on July 22, 2016 at 8:37 pm said:

Father, of course we can tell when the Bible speaks of Our Blessed Mother Mary. But there are many other Marys spoken of in the Bible. Can you list the other Marys spoken of in the Bible and at least one Bible verse that is applied to each. It can get very confusing. THANK YOU!

FATHER JOE

I will let you look up the verses:

1. Mary the Mother of Jesus
2. Mary Magdalene
3. Mary of Bethany
4. Mary of Clopas / Mary the Mother of James
5. Mary the Mother of Joses
6. Mary Salome

* Mary of Rome
Leslie McGraw, on July 19, 2016 at 5:57 pm said:

Hello Father Joe, this is my first time on your page. I have a pretty lengthy question. I have grown spiritually over the last few years. I am a divorced mother of three. My ex-husband has passed away. I have recently re-married and did not get married in the church. We want to have our marriage blessed and only have to fill out some paperwork on my husbands end, due to he is catholic and divorced, but he did not get married in the church, so the process seems to be pretty easy. What my issue is, we married fairly quickly, after only 5 months of dating. We are both in our 40s and have had our children. I do love him, but I have found that he has a very explosive temper. He is not violent, but he screams and doesn’t care if people hear him and he can be cruel with his words. He has threatened suicide a few times to me and, of note, his mother committed suicide in front of him and his sister when he was 17 years old. I know he has deep rooted issues with this and I know he is very insecure. He is very, I dont know, immature I suppose at times. He will argue with my 18 year old son as though he is also 18, but on the flip side, he will critique my parenting to the point of insult. I have tried to get him to go to church with us and he will on occasion, but not routinely. I know I can’t change him. I have found that going to church, prayer and listening to EWTN has really helped me heal over the years from all that I have been through in my own life. I come from a very loving, stable, extremely close family. He comes from just the opposite. I guess I’m just wondering what is a good prayer to pray for him and our marriage? I pray for him all the time and for our marriage to heal and be good. We will have our 1 year anniversary next month. For the most part he is great, he is wonderful with my kids, he works, he is compassionate. He is just so needy and his temper is scary. I try to be calm during an argument and also, we argue over almost everything, he is super sensitive. I feel like I’ve made a mistake but I want it to work, I took my vows seriously and to heart and I want our marriage to be blessed by the church and I want to receive communion again, but I also don’t want to enter into this through the church falsely, if that makes sense. Also, is it considered going outside of the marriage if I journal my thoughts, negative as well as positive about my marriage and my husband?

FATHER JOE:

Hello Leslie,

It sounds like he is applying for a declaration of nullity because of a lack of canonical form. After the declaration is granted, the two of you would be free to marry in the Church (a con-validation). That is the apparent background to your question. What you bring up next is very important and brings about further questions on my part.

While you quickly married civilly, how long have you two been together since then?

What does his explosive temper and cruel words reflect about the state of his mind?

What were the grounds for his divorce from his first bond?

The fact that he has threatened suicide seems to indicate that he suffers from an emotional malady of some sort. We often see it in people who have trouble coping. Such activity is not an expression of either maturity or a healthy psychological well-being. Indeed, threatening suicide can be intensely manipulative. In any case, such threats should always be taken seriously. You mention the trauma of witnessing his mother’s suicide. It does not seem that he has fully worked through it.

You ask the question, “What is a good prayer to pray for him and our marriage? I pray for him all the time and for our marriage to heal and be good.”

If it is as you say, he needs serious counseling, not just prayer. Miracles happen but the effects of prayer are not like magic. He needs healing. You love him and you speak about his compassion. But is it really a good and stable relationship if you are guarded or afraid about what to say in front of him. You admit that he insults your parenting, threatens to kill himself, and uses cruel words (a form of verbal abuse). Does your priest know this? I would be hesitant to con-validate a union with such issues. You do no wrong to him by wondering about these issues and journaling about them privately.

Does he know how he hurts you or makes you afraid?

Does he acknowledge a problem and if so, is he willing to seek help?

Will he pray with you so that you can invite God’s healing as a couple?

I may have made your situation more complex. But I do not think it was ever easy. Strong Christian marriages are founded on mutual respect, sacrificial love, and an abiding faith— a faith wherein a couple knows each other and God with a profound honesty, fulfilling their duties in an interactive partnership and lived-intimacy. You love each other, but can you both be the spouses that you are called to be?

Fear and intimidation are not good signposts for the future, even where there is love.

Here is a sample prayer that can be addressed to God:

“You gave man the constant help of woman so that man and woman should no longer be two, but one flesh, and you teach us that what you have united may never be divided. Lord Jesus, look with love upon us in our life together as husband and wife. We ask your blessing to live with each other in peace and harmony. May we always bear with one another’s weaknesses and grow from each other’s strengths. Help us to forgive one another’s failings and grant us patience, kindness, cheerfulness and the spirit of placing the well-being of one another ahead of self. May the love that brought us together grow and mature with each passing year. Bring us both ever closer to you through our love for each other. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.”

Take care!
Ruth, on July 19, 2016 at 1:58 pm said:

I wrote:

“Our Pope Francis says that a couple that decides to live together without being married must be encouraged and that the receive the same grace of the sacrament of matrimony and that most of the marriages that have taken place over time are invalid. Do you agree with this? It all seems like a good joke.”

You asked for the exact quote with citation. Here it is, although I can not believe you didn’t hear about this:

“It’s a superstition, because marriage frightens the husband. It’s a superstition we have to overcome,” the Pope said. “I’ve seen a lot of fidelity in these cohabitations, and I am sure that this is a real marriage, they have the grace of a real marriage because of their fidelity, but there are local superstitions, etc.”

(Source: Catholic News Agency, “Most marriages today are invalid, Pope Francis suggests.” June 16, 2016.)

While the main story concerned the validity of sacramental marriages, Pope Francis also stated in response to another question that a great many cohabiting couples are really married:

“I’ve seen a lot of fidelity in these cohabitations, and I am sure that this is a real marriage, that they have the grace of a real marriage because of their fidelity.”

That is a truly problematic claim that has not yet been “walked back.” It should be. Without any correction whatsoever, the upshot of his remarks could be taken to mean: “People who marry in the Church are probably not really married. People who simply live together, probably are really married, and moreover have the grace of real marriage!”

Read more at: http://www.nationalreview.com/article/436836/pope-franciss-marriage-comments-are-great-majority-sacramental-marriages-invalid

National Review
Chris Joyce, on July 18, 2016 at 5:29 pm said:

For years my family said the rosary. My father became a convert when I received Confirmation. He also attended daily Mass I recall in my youth. My mother and father fought horribly, the siblings to this day some will not communicate with the other. The mother was quite domineering. It took many years for myself, the eldest, to feel stable psych. I am in my late 60’s. Some success has been made at connecting with my siblings though one brother abruptly cut me off. I suffered losing my daughter when she was 11, and then the loss of my granddaughter as my former husband adopted her. I’ve never said, why me but only enough grace to get through whatever comes my way. Still it is difficult to have faith because of the beginning where the rosary was said daily; I would say I have more fear saying my rosary not knowing what next may be dished out. I realize this is childish but humanly impossible to help feel different. Any wisdom is greatly appreciated.

FATHER JOE: The rosary is not magic. The power of prayer transforms us through the habit of conversation with God, the meditation over the truths of faith and the gift of grace. I would suggest praying for peace of heart and courage as you pursue reconciliation in your family. You are not alone. God loves you. I know good people who pray for ex spouses, children, grandchildren, etc. They do so even when they are abandoned and ignored. We cannot make people treat and love us as they should. But we can try to love them all the same. Love, of course, is deeper than a feeling… it is wanting the best for another, for their happiness, healing and salvation.
Sinéad, on July 17, 2016 at 10:47 pm said:

Q. I am a Roman Catholic and my fiancé wishes to be baptised in to the Catholic Church. My fiancé and I would also like to get married in a Catholic church. However, he is a divorcee, wasn’t baptised and was previously married in an Anglican church. Is it still possible for us to marry in a Catholic Church?

FATHER JOE: If his first spouse was Anglican or Episcopalian then he will need to procure an annulment from a Catholic Marriage Tribunal. There is a special case for non-baptized persons who want to marry Catholics that might apply but the advocate would have to decide on the course of action. If and when an annulment or dissolution is granted, then he would be free to marry in the Catholic Church. If he also wants to be a Catholic then he must enter the RCIA program that probably begins in the fall. So there is hope but it all begins with a visit to your parish priest. An annulment can take a year or so. The RCIA goes from the fall to Easter.
Janet pint, on July 17, 2016 at 1:12 pm said:

Well, three months ago something strange happened in my house. On three different occasions my front and back door were wide open and windows wide open and all the lights were on in the house in the middle of the night. Nobody got up I was up reading my bible and had to use the bathroom and the last time it happened my dog kept me up all night whining and whimpering. After my kids got baptized it stopped. Why is that was there something in my house? And could it come back?

FATHER JOE: I really could not say. Could someone have played a prank on you?
Sandy, on July 16, 2016 at 6:30 am said:

I am interested in becoming Catholic but I am divorced. I was married in a protestant church a long time ago for 10 years. We had no children. Would this prevent me from being able to participate fully in the Catholic faith? Would I need to get an annulment? I don’t expect to ever want to marry again.

FATHER JOE: You would only need an annulment if you intended to marry again. Divorced (not remarried) people can enter the Church but the doctrine about marriage should be clearly taught. Talk to a local priest. RCIA instructions likely start in the fall. People are usually received into the Church at Easter.
Greg, on July 15, 2016 at 3:35 pm said:

Hey Father Joe, hope you’re doing well. I have a question about the “personal relationship” so many evangelicals clam to have with Jesus. I really can’t find any scriptural references to this, sometimes I feel maybe I’m missing something by not having this “personal relationship” they clam to have. I know we can go to the Lord in prayer and experience him in worship and in one another, but the evangelicals seem to make it as if they have personal contact with the Lord. Hope you can clear up my confusion. Thanks

FATHER JOE: We are called to have both a personal and a corporate (communal) relationship with the Lord. Many Protestants neglect the second level of this relationship. The latter is why Catholicism considers the Church so important, literally the great sacrament of encounter with Christ. Everything comes back to Jesus. We call upon the saving name. He redeems us by his Passion and Cross. He is the revelation of the Father. Grace transforms us into the likeness of Christ. We must die with Christ so as to live with him. He is the one Mediator and the one High Priest. Catholic Christianity is not a book religion or a philosophy of life. It is a faith based upon a real relationship of faith, prayer and service with Jesus, the Son of God. Righteousness that brings grace is a friendship with God… made possible by Jesus. Mortal sin damns us because it breaks off this friendship or relationship.
James Myers, on July 12, 2016 at 3:36 pm said:

I have been seeking an annulment (I am not a Catholic, nor was my ex).
How would it be received if I petition the tribunal and request the annulment under Canon 1099– I did not know that remarriage would not be acceptable after a civil divorce.

FATHER JOE:

Did you intend a lifelong marriage where as spouses the two of you would be faithful to each other and open to the gift of children? If you did, and most people do on the wedding day at least, then it would probably not be pertinent.

For Canon 1099 to apply you would have to answer in the affirmative to these questions:

Did you or your spouse marry believing that marriage is not necessarily an exclusive relationship? (Swingers with so-called open-marriages could claim this, but most still find the notion offensive.)

Did you or your spouse marry believing that civil law has the power to dissolve marriage and that remarriage is acceptable after civil divorce? (This is probably where the issue comes to play… but was such a doubt or imagined recourse for yourselves at the time of the vows?)

Did you and your spouse marry believing that marriage is not a religious or sacred relationship but merely a civil contract or arrangement? (This is what makes marriages with atheists somewhat problematical.)

In any case, you would write your formal case and make a petition. The grounds will be decided upon in the juridical process between the three judges, the defender of the bond and your advocate.
Janine Berger, on July 10, 2016 at 9:38 pm said:

Hello,

my name is Janine. I have an appointment with my parish priest tomorrow. My question is, if I can talk to him about my faith and my expirence with spirituell help?

FATHER JOE: I am not sure what you are asking? He should be of spiritual help or guidance.
DMG, on July 10, 2016 at 12:03 am said:

Dear Father Joe:
I am a bit confused and concerned over my result of being granted an annulment. It took me over 4 yrs to finally have my annulment granted, My new wife is a Methodist, and she has NO intentions of becoming a Catholic, Where does that leave me now that I have my annulment, can i now go to confession ? Can i receive the Eucharist ? My new wife has told me she will never convert to Catholicism and I told her that is fine, Its me that has been punished for years not being able to partake in the sacraments………..where do I stand now ??

FATHER JOE: Your wife does not have to convert. However, you would need to arrange a marriage con-validation with your parish priest. After preparation, this means repeating your vows with two witnesses present. Before the con-validation you would go to Confession. Then you would be free to receive communion at Mass on Sundays. The hard and uncertain part is now over.
Joy, on July 9, 2016 at 6:34 pm said:

Father will this probably happen in our Catholic churches?

https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/vatican-liturgy-chief-asks-all-priests-and-bishops-to-face-east-for-mass-fa

FATHER JOE: I do not know. The cardinal addresses priests and yet priests can only really do what their bishops allow. Here in the United States there would probably be a lot of resistance from USCCB. Many churches would have to be remodeled (altars) and if kneeling for communion were in the mix, the restoration of rails or special kneelers.
John, on July 9, 2016 at 8:45 am said:

I have attended the same parish for over 35 years. My wife of 19 years left me for her best friend’s husband. They are remarried and attend my church. Her new husband’s brother is a deacon in this parish. My ex and her husband are also good friends with the parish priest and church secretary. Our marriage has never been annulled, but the church secretary helped my ex and her new husband secure a protestant church (she knows that pastor) for their marriage, as well as the fact that this secretary and her husband cooked and served their wedding meal for them. They are now both receiving holy communion, with my priest and the husband’s deacon brother knowing full well that our marriage was never annulled. The new husband’s ex wife is no longer a practicing Catholic as she is so upset about how this has been handled. I tried very hard in my marriage and am a good dad, but this is almost too much to deal with. I tried emailing my pastor to set up a time to talk to him, but he said I could go through the church secretary to set a time talk to him like everyone else. I’m trying to avoid this woman. I want to go to a new parish, but my kids want to stay here, so I’m trying to remain in this church to ensure my kids keep going to mass, but listening to the deacon preach and the church secretary sing as a song leader and make announcements at the end of mass almost makes me ill. Also, I’m not happy with Pope Francis for saying it’s now up to the priest to decide if a remarried couple can receive communion as I think this is how they are now receiving communion. I’m trying to forgive and move on, but losing my family was like dealing with a death, and how those in my parish have acted makes this betrayal even worse. I’m not sure how to move on.

FATHER JOE: Yes, John, this is certainly the flip side to what seems to be coming out of Rome or at least how certain enthusiasts interpret it. Speaking for myself I absolutely agree with you. My heart goes out to you and the poor abandoned woman you describe. If you can, let her know that she might have stopped going to church but that this priest will keep her in prayer. The Church secretary committed grave scandal. Because we must not break the seal, priests are often unable to do anything about parishioners taking the Eucharist while in grave sin. (Although we can counsel them in private.) As for the deacon, it sounds like concerns for the family have displaced the demands of his vocation and the morality of the Church. You might feel betrayed but it was not by the Church. The fault rests with your wife, the man who became her partner in adultery, and staff at a parish which placed being nice over being holy. The Catholic Church was betrayed by their actions, too. Despite what the children want, I would recommend finding a Catholic parish that is more faithful to the law of God.
Greg, on July 8, 2016 at 10:02 pm said:

Hey Father Joe, again just want to thank you for what you’re doing, I think it’s a great way for people to get answers. My question is, what would you recommend for a person to do to really shake up their spiritual walk, and draw closer to Jesus. Thanks

FATHER JOE: That depends upon your state of life and what you are already doing to live out your faith. Have you ever taken a religious retreat?