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NEW MESSAGES/HOMILIES CHRISTIAN REFLECTIONS DEFENDING THE FAITH
Blogger Priest 
Is masturbation considered a mortal sin or a venial sin, also can a person be forgiven by just praying to God?
Hi Father Joe
I’m always being a Catholic. I was married (thru the court, civil only) and I don’t seriously though about getting married thru the church with that person because I have my doubts about the relationship.
Anyway, I had two kids from that previous marriage. When The moment comes I verbally ask for a divorce and he refused. I move to my childhood country with my two kids and even though he wasn’t approvingly the divorce, he accepted this. He even bring me to the airport.
I stayed on my mom’s house with my two kids. During this time I find out through a lawyer that he accused me of kidnapping our kids and that he did know where they were (not true of course). So within less than a week I flew back and I left my two kids with my only sister. I spend two weeks dealing with court citations, etc.
Since my ex was so selfish and an emotionally abuser, I had no friends by my own, just his friends where welcome.
But I have a co-worker that was also married thru civil only and a catholic as well. We felt in love and without me asking, he started the divorce process and his ex agree and sign (I saw the papers). He states that his marriage was broken before we met and because of her betrayer.
When I separate and when to my mom’s house we only kissed one day and that was it. I was giving him some time to think, but he was sure about what he was doing and so do I.
Well since I had no one to trust other than him, during the two weeks of me fighting for my kids and so, we have sexual relationships.
Weeks after I came back to my mom’s house to take care of the kids I found out I was pregnant.
When I told my only sister over the phone she started yelling at me. She asked me if I was crazy, how come I did that, etc. She accused me of “using her to take care of my kids so I can have fun with my lover”. Even though she saw the legal papers she didn’t believe me. When my due date comes I left the kids with my mom and headed to the hospital by my own. My baby born and his father traveled to take care of me while I was at the hospital and the baby and my other kids. My baby stayed at the hospital for three days during intensive care due to health complications.
I spent three weeks at my mom’s house before I travel with my kids and my significant other. During all this time my sister didn’t show up for nothing.
Now, 6 years later and now that we’re starting the process of getting married through the Catholic Church, she wants to talk to me. Over the phone I tell her, I don’t have any hard feelings and I wish you the best. But I can’t have a sister relationship with you again because every time I do that you ended up screwed me.
Is my forgiveness enough or do I have to have a relationship with her? I don’t want her near me or my family because I’m afraid she would hurts us again. What should I do?
Hello I have a question for many years I was a practicing homosexual. I have now to come to repentance and through the grace of God I will remain in this state until I die. I was wondering say for example a person who dies as a heterosexual but perhaps committed a sin such as fornication, if they went to hell without repenting, surely I am going to hell as my sin is much greater? Is there still hope for me?
Hi Fr Joe,
My best friend’s brother is a non-practicing Catholic who holds a lot of anger/resentment against the Catholic Church because of the scandals, etc., His wife is non-Catholic. They have a daughter who is 7 or 8 years old, and they live in LA. They will be traveling to Toronto, Ontario, Canada in late July to attend the baptism of his brother’s baby. My best friend, being very concerned for the spiritual welfare of her niece, inquired with a church if her niece could also be baptized at the same time. Both her nieces’ parents would be agreeable. However, she was told that because of the age of her niece, she’d first have to attend RCIC classes in LA, which don’t start until September and carry on for months.
Neither her brother or his wife would bring their daughter to RCIC classes as they are both very busy and unmotivated.
At this news, her brother got very angry at the Church and his sister for all the “red tape”. He felt once more that the Church was being unjust by denying his child baptism, particularly since his brother’s 18 month old could easily be baptized. So basically, unless my best friend’s niece is baptized with her nephew in July, her niece will likely never be baptized.
Is there anything my best friend can do? Her niece’s parents are ok with their child being baptized, just not bringing her to RCIC. My best friend is a grade 2 teacher who regularly helps prepare her students for sacraments, and I am an RCIC teacher in Toronto, so we could give her niece a crash course and do our best throughout her life to catechize her and bring her to Mass and confession whenever possible, and so on. In this sort of situation, although not in danger of death, could a lay person baptize her? Any suggestions? Thank you so much Fr Joe!
I’m a 14 year old boy believer in Jesus Christ. My family is Hindu and is against my faith and won’t let me baptised. I’m a schoolboy in Class X. I don’t have access to any Christian except a class 8 boy. With him, it is difficult to talk about faith as he’s not mature. I became a believer since December 2015. I wanna be baptised. Please tell me what I can do. I can’t go to Church due to my family. I read the Bible secretly because my mom restricted me from reading it. I have no believer around me. Help me.
Hello Father
My name is Tom
Ive been wanting to go to confession but have been struggling to go one reason why is because a sin I’m confessing I feel is too long. I still want to confess it of course but in a way the is brief and blunt. Could I get your email so I can send it to you directly. I want to keep it private.
Thanks and God bless!
Fr Joe the book is called “Self esteem and the soul” by John Monbourquette.
Hey Father Joe. I came back to the Catholic Church over two years ago after having been an agnostic for 45 years. I know that I need to go to confession but there are several things that I find are almost impossible for me to confess because I am so ashamed of them. I have begged God for forgiveness and sometimes feel that I have been forgiven but I have lingering doubts since Christ told us to use Confession. Is it possible to tell a priest in Confession that I just can’t discuss them but still very much want to be forgiven? Is it possible for the priest to absolve me (through our Lord, of course) without me directly discussing these things? I know it sounds like weakness, and I also know that God’s mercy covers all sins for which we are truly repentant, but I find it nearly impossible to tell another human being about them. Can I be forgiven by the priest if I explain this to him without directly confessing those sins? In addition, I know there are things that I have done that I have forgotten that I need forgiveness for. Can I be forgiven in a blanket fashion if I ask for that and am truly repentant? Finally, what if I remember something? Do I then have to take it to confession or will that be covered by the act of sincere penitence. I very much want forgiveness, but I don’t want to focus on guilt as much as the joy of knowing that I am forgiven.
Hello Father. For a relatively long time I have been struggling with the sin of masturbation and, due to God’s help, I have been able to abstain for almost three months now (which is far longer than any other of my recent attempts to stop). I can only imagine habit had some kind of control over me, as I had been committing the act for years before I found out it was a sin (and even longer before I discovered it was a grave sin). While I have been able to control myself for a while, the temptation is certainly still there. The thing is, I feel like I’m so close to integrating my sexuality within myself, but there’s certain memories in my head that are an obstacle to this and are tempting me to to give in. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t at all disagree with the Church’s teaching on this subject. It took me awhile, but I now truly understand why masturbation (when considered in itself, minus mitigating factors) is a grave sin. However the temptation is strong, and I’m wondering if I give in, would certain factors lessen my culpability in my particular case. Some of the opinions of certain theologians seem to imply it would: Fr. Hans Rotter SJ (who seems to be a good, orthodox source) states “One can certainly speak of a grave sin only if a morally defect attitude of substantial nature is brought about by deliberate and often practiced masturbation. Ordinarily this cannot be assumed.” Next Fr John F. Harvey OSFS says “One must be involved knowingly and freely in this activity. If one is careful and sincere in his spiritual life, in his effort to love God, he is not likely to give full consent to the act of masturbation. In this wider perspective of examining one’s overall relationship to God one judges the individual act: “If this overall spiritual life is generally good and wholesome, then it can be safely assumed that full consent is not present and you are not guilty of mortal sin, even though you did something which is called ‘serious matter’.” The website catholicvu expresses a similar sentiment in their article on masturbation: http://catholicvu.com/newpage197htm.htm. These sources seem to imply that the nature of one’s practice of masturbation depends largely on attitude and the context of it within one’s overall moral life. I am trying hard to stay chaste, and I’m trying to be very honest with myself about this. I feel like I’m almost there, but unsatisfied thoughts are preventing it from completion. I must also mention that I’m in my late teens, so adolescent immaturity may be a factor. So, would I be guilty of mortal sin if I, in my particular case, committed this act. Thank you and God bless.
Dear Fr Joe,
Thanks for always taking time to answer our questions.
I have several psychological issues so I was reading a book on self esteem. The priest who has written it has a good knowledge of psychology. However towards the end of the book i think he says that texts like the imitation of Christ(a book I like) and the degrees of humility according to the rule of st benedict is some form of “deformed spirituality” .
I will quote a paragraph from the book and kindly ask you what you think.
“Such a deviant Christian spirituality confuses the virtue of Christian humility with humiliation. Humility,the honest recognition of our gifts and limitations, has nothing to do with the sad search for humiliation. Furthermore,this train of thought perverts the mystery of the cross of Jesus Christ, making it a way of exalting pain. The passion of Jesus was a particular event, proof of enormous love for humanity. But it is not a model of suffering to be perpetuated. The resurrection, not the passion and death, comes first in God’s thinking. Life has priority over death and ultimately conquered it.”
I know it may be difficult to comment because you may not have read the book but what do you think?
Thanks and God bless you fr.
***UPDATE***”This Saint will change your life” the patron saint for Autism is St. Ubaldo Baldassini. (about 1100-1160) Feast Day is May 16. First paragraph on p. 50 of this book states: “Autism was not diagnosed in the twelth century, but early biographies of St. Ubaldo Baldassini describe his mother as suffering from some type of developmental disorder, which in recent years has led to Ubaldo being venerated as the patron of anyone on the autism spectrum ( I got this from Catholic Answers)
(((“Jan, on May 31, 2016 at 10:47 pm said:
A question asked by someone here:
“Paulie, on April 20, 2016 at 1:54 am said:
Fr. Joe,
Is there a patron saint for people with Autism?
FATHER JOE: I do not think the Church has officially designated one.”
I believe we can turn to St. Dymphna for prayers in interceding about Autism. While she is the patron Saint of mental disorders I BELIEVE that she is also the patron Saint of neurological disorders, which Autism is.”)))
Hello father, a few months ago we were seeing shadows and heari g things in our home. We called our church and our priest came right over and did a blessing.. Things have been fine for about 3 months. Now my wife has seen a white mist twice this week…we are very worried because we have 3 small female girls…could this be somthing bad a d what do we do ????
Dear Father,
I am in an interesting situation. Both my parents are Catholic, my brother is Catholic and married to a convert Catholic. I was raised Catholic, but married the love of my life who is a Mennonite. We were going to have a joint wedding, but our priest dropped out on us days before the wedding, so we did not have a Catholic wedding or even a joint wedding. My wife has done extensive research on Catholicism, and probably knows more about the religion than my parents. She has decided that it is not for her. Anyway, we have been married for 9 years. My parents have been pressuring us to be convalidated. I don’t feel the need to do it, nor does my wife. Also, there are some issues with the Catholic Church she disagrees with. My parents and I have been getting into a lot of fights since the time I have been married. My wife and I might visit my parents for thanksgiving and my wife will bake a pie. When we leave, we’ll take the rest of the uneaten pie home and the very next day, my dad will call me up and yell at me and call my wife horrible names because we didn’t leave the pie. One time my dad called me up and yelled and cursed at me because I borrowed an extension cord and didn’t return it for awhile. One time I forgot to send a Father’s day card. At night, my dad called me and threatened to physically harm my father-in law. And one more example, while my wife and parents were having dinner at my parents house, my dad was saying racist things about the president and his wife. My wife had to leave the table and I followed. My dad called her horrible names and said he has never been so disrespected before because she left. He told me to divorce her. Through our fights, I try to control my anger, but I yell back at them. My wife and I are convinced that my father has some mental illness because of his anger overreactions. I know that my uncles and aunts feel the same way. I have asked my father to go to a get management classes or see a consoler and I’ve offered to set everything up and go with him. He will not go. Growing up I thought it was normal, but whenever I’m over at my wife’s parents’ house, there is no yelling or screaming. My dad will always call me a few days after a fight and say that he is stressed out at work or tired, but never really apologizes for his words or actions. My parents have always told me that we won’t fight so much if my wife and I have our marriage convalidated. We just had a big fight on Valentine’s Day. Both my parents were saying racist things again, this time in front of our son, who was about 18 months at the time. We had to walk out and as we did, my parents were screaming at my wife for not being Catholic. I received an email from them days later that they are taking me out of their will, which hurts me, not because of the money (I could careless). They said they don’t want my wife or ‘her’ child to have any of their money.
After a couple emails back and forth where we both exchanged words, I decided I needed a break from them and needed to get outside help. I set up an appointment with a therapist and my wife and I talked to the therapist about the situation. We had a plan to set boundaries with them. We would only meet in public places, we would not discuss politics, race, or religion ( things my parents and I disagree on, but they love to talk about). I called my mom to set up an meeting, eventually she agreed to meet with me, but she said that she wanted to discuss convalidation. My wife found this article, written by a priest who was ordained at the Vatican. According to this article, my marriage is valid in the eyes of the Catholic Church.
http://www.interfaithfamily.com/life_cycle/weddings/A_Catholic_Priests_Perspective_on_Interfaith_Marriage.shtml
My mom still wants me to be convalidated and its to the point where they will not meet with me until my wife and I do this. My wife and I are considering it, but we refused to lie to a priest or anyone about our marriage. I do not believe we have been living in sin. I don’t think I need to do this for our marriage directly, but my parents are effecting my happiness along with my wife. It would benefit us in a way that would make my parents happy. Like the story of Romeo and Juliet, Friar Lawrence married the couple for peace. I wanted to get a priest’s opinion on this matter. Not all of my relationship with my parents is terrible. There are good moments and I want them in my life. It’s been tough for my wife, but we are supporting each other.
Hi from the Houston area. I have an orthodox Jewish background and was told there is no explicit virgin birth narrative in Matthew or Luke. I was told the birth passages were written so vaguely that a Jewish person could interpret it to mean a natural birth, whereas a Gentile could easily interpret it to mean a Virgin Birth.
But ironically, even if the birth passages could be interpreted to mean a natural birth of Jesus, they still prove that Jesus is the long awaited Messiah, meaning Jesus was a biological son of King Solomon, just as the Jews are expectingbthevmessiah to be, and as Matthew says. M
So no matter how I interpret Jesus’ birth passages, I still believe Jesus is the King of the Jews, the messiah.
So my question is, can I be a devout catholic, even if I interpret Jesus’ birth passages in the Jewish way? I love Jesus!
Thank you!deb
Hi my name is Elvis. I’m Catholic. My wife is greek orthodox. I got married in a greek orthodox church . Now I’m expecting a baby. I don’t know how to go about that process of a selecting God parents. I read that the godparents have to be greek orthodox. Now I want my sister to be godmother (she’s catholic) the God father is greek so he’s not a problem. What should I do? I don’t want my family left out of certain ceremonies just because their not greek orthodox. Please help.
I understand God gave man the ability to choose for himself. So then why does God let such horrible things to animals and children. They are at the mercy of adults. If God is great, shouldn’t He protect the things that can’t protect themselves? I don’t understand. Thank You, al tritt
I am Catholic but my wife is not. We attend the services together for both our faiths. However their have been time I have missed mass due to things my daughter is part of at my wife’s church. It is a Christian based church and I don’t partake in communion but am I sinning? I am still celebrating the sabbath but I know it it not mass.
does God have a name?
Fr. Joe, is it wrong to reprimand someone on taking drugs, to tell them what they are doing is wrong and not right, saying it is bad. While reprimanding them I can be a little rude and mean? Is this a sin?
In Christ, Anthony
Dear Fr Joe,
Is it allowed to read along the scripture readings in the missal as they are being read at mass?
Sometimes the readers at mass are not audible or have difficult to follow accents but I have heard conflicting answers when I have asked this question to different people in the past.
Thanks for your blog fr. I pray for you and hope your health is better.
God bless you fr.
A question asked by someone here:
“Paulie, on April 20, 2016 at 1:54 am said:
Fr. Joe,
Is there a patron saint for people with Autism?
FATHER JOE: I do not think the Church has officially designated one.”
I believe we can turn to St. Dymphna for prayers in interceding about Autism. While she is the patron Saint of mental disorders I BELIEVE that she is also the patron Saint of neurological disorders, which Autism is.
What do you think about this?
“Vatican City (AFP) – Clergymen should make themselves available to their flocks day and night instead of keeping visiting hours and relaxing once the church doors close, Pope Francis said Sunday.
“One who serves cannot hoard his free time; he has to give up the idea of being the master of his day,” the pontiff said in a homily in Saint Peter’s Basilica to mark the Church’s Jubilee of Deacons.
“It deeply troubles me when I see a timetable in a parish: ‘From such a time to such a time’. And then? There is no open door, no priest, no deacon, no layperson to receive people. This is not good,” he said.
The 79-year old said clergymen should welcome “those who knock on those doors at odd hours, even if that entails setting aside something he likes to do or giving up some well-deserved rest”.
He also stressed the importance of priests and deacons being mild-mannered, saying: “Never shout, never”.
Deacons from around the world and their families convened in Rome this weekend to take part in special jubilee as part of Francis’ Jubilee year which is dedicated to the theme of mercy.”
After thirty years of soul-searching and prayer, God brought me to a Catholic community ministered to by a woman priest ordained through the RCWP Association. It is the best parish I have ever been involved with. My question is simply if I am Excommunicated because I attend mass there every week and work to support female ordination in the Catholic Church?
Hi Father,
I’m looking for some spiritual advice about my situation. I have a twin who moved away and is married. A few months ago I moved out of my abusive mothers home. I’m a loner, I don’t have a boyfriend, I don’t have any friends. I currently feel that God isn’t treating me fairly. My sister she never had to work hard for anything ever in her life; shes married to a military guy and doesn’t work and has money for anything she needs and wants. She never prays or goes to church but god blesses her. I work everyday, I get up at 3am every morning for work. I pray for anything and everything. But i still struggle to find a better job after college, I struggle with my rent, and there are days im starving, and to top it off its now summer time and all I have a winter clothing, I had savings but I gave it to my mother because she was having problems with her car. My sister has lots of money and lied to my mother and said shes broke and God blesses her with an easy life. I help my mother and am now suffering but God seems to hate me. I grew up always being jealous of my twin because she was the pretty one and no matter how hard i tried to be perfect and nice, family preferred her even my mother and father. Throughout my life because of my jealousy my mother has called me a devil and her and my sister has said they cant stand me. growing up my mother has said she wish i was never born and even now tells me that I should die or kill myself or cant wait for the day i get raped and killed in the street. Even though I’m an adult (22) I get in trouble for my twin and mother if i want to voice my opinion. I’m literally not allowed to get mad at the things they say to me. if i do, they threaten me. I’m suffering hungry and broke because I helped my mother in need. But God blesses my sister and gives her everything in the world even though she doesn’t go to church and never helps my mother when she cant buy her medication or has other problems. Is there a way I can figure out why God is punishing me? I’m here wishing I was dead (i would never commit suicide though). I’m even starting to get attacked at my job by coworkers and I hardly talk to anyone to cause problems at work. Do you have any advice on what I can do to make God not hate me?
I am in my fifth marriage. I waited 10 years before marrying my current husband. I just recently started back to church with my mother. I don’t go for tthe body of Christ because of the multiple marriages. I have lived a life of abuse. I didn’t tolerate the abuse from my ex husbands. All four were abusive. My father physically abuse me everything you can think of but not sexually. Yes this has let a scar deep I have lived with since being a child. I am now 56. I am faithful to my husband. And Jesus is my Savior but the bible says I have sinned by remarrying. That we both have committed adultery by remarrying. Am I correct that I can not eat the euchurst on Sunday mass? The bible also says that my sins have been forgiven. I have no transportation to go to confession on Wednesday as I am Catholic. Can you give me your opinion. I ask God to forgive me for not eating the body of Christ for my multiple marriages. Thanks for your time! God bless you amen!