Ask a Priest

5,433 Responses

Leo, on December 5, 2012 at 10:36 pm said:

Father Joe,
Father thanks for the advice you gave me regarding me helping a friend who believed the Church was the whore of Babylon. You were right yet I ignored you. I felt i had to help my friend or so i believe him to be, but I was wrong. I helped my Protestant friend and showed him the teachings of the church from the bible. I explained as much as I could but he appears entrapped in his “my King James Bible is perfect” idea. He is more concerned with finding contradictions in the catholic bible. For example he pointed out to me Genesis 1:5 in his King James Bible and mine. He emphasized that his said “fist day” and ours one day and therefore a big difference according to him. He even pointed out how some Church approved bibles have Mary as “Highly favored” and not full of Grace. I loaned him some books and he said he would return them in 2 days. He was absent but I saw him later. I don’t think he is a thief but I don’t know if ill ever see them again. That does not bother me but what does is that people are being blinded by pride and vanity and I only see this phenomenon growing. I’m sorry for neglecting your advice.
Steven, on December 5, 2012 at 2:26 am said:

So we aren’t allowed to listen to music that doesn’t glorify God, or is it only if it is explicit, derogatory etc.

FATHER JOE: We can listen to secular music. The setting changes the issue. However, there is tasteless and vulgar music that is best avoided.
Dan Tucker, on December 2, 2012 at 4:57 am said:

Fr. Joe,

I belong to a Faith Community near Dayton OH. Our priest is promoting President Obama in his homilies. Three years ago he did it and a parishioner courageously approached the microphone and publicly castigated him for conveniently leaving out Obama’s pro-choice record that led him to vote three times to oppose the Born Alive Infant Protection Act. Now that Obama has been re-elected, our priest is at it again, promoting this politician in broad terms in his homilies both last Sunday and the Sunday before last. No one has publicly opposed this, however I sent him the following email this past week:

Email sent Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Dear Fr. ____,

We have been attending _____ since 2007. On three occasions, two within the past two weeks, we have heard you promoting President Barack Obama in your sermons.

Surely, Fr.____, you are aware that your comments about the President are creating consternation for those of us who did not vote for him, and who believe his leadership is not in the best interests of our country.

You are a learned priest; we have found much to appreciate in your homilies on many a Sunday. Therefore it comes as a surprise to:

•hear our parish priest deliberately wade into such polarizing subject matter as presidential politics
•hear our parish priest make his political leanings clear to his flock
•hear our parish priest take a position that would seem at odds with the legal and moral fight that scores of Catholic dioceses and institutions are currently waging with this administration over its health mandate
•hear our parish priest endorse the key representative of a party that thrice attempted to deny God a place in the party platform during the convention
•hear our parish priest promote the appeal of a political figure while subjugating the realities of his positions on matters dear to Catholics, such as abortion

It is not my intention to contest your personal freedom to believe as you choose in matters of politics and conscience. I do, however, feel compelled to speak out against your using your pastoral role and the pulpit to impress your political opinions upon the flock.

Although I do not know you well as a person, I have every respect for you as our priest. I hope that you see my concerns as reasonable. I think reading and reflection upon alternative points of view could be helpful. Time will tell whether this President is all that many have made him out to be.

Sincerely,
____________

Fr. Joe, I don’t know what else to do besides make my concerns known to him. He hasn’t replied to my email and I don’t know whether he’ll ignore my concerns and continue raving about the President. If he does, I suspect I and my family will simply walk out of church and begin attending another. Do you have any suggestions on how to handle this situation?

Thank you.

FATHER JOE: You are right to share your concerns with him. Given that he is a member of a religious order, I would also suggest contacting the Marianist community. The gravity of the public forum cannot be over-estimated. He is endangering Church interests and causing divisive scandal among the faithful. If there is still no response, then along with other parishioners, you should contact the diocesan chancery and bishop. The priest is violating what has become a national policy. Catholic priests are generally prohibited from active or direct public involvement in partisan politics for candidates. Instead, we address themes like abortion, so-called same-sex marriages, immigrant rights, the death penalty, etc.
mjoetbz, on December 2, 2012 at 12:14 am said:

Father joe, I know you feel it’s hard for me to say I love him, but those feelings are completely my own. I’m fully aware how I feel. I tried avoiding him for two weeks because I was unsure of my feelings. I let him get close. I tried being a friend and just allowing him to teach me to drive. I’ve been through a lot in my life and I enjoy being able to converse with him and hear we have similar things in our lives that happened. God have us a heart, and with that I’m not sorry for my feelings. One cannot simply control how one feels. I tried. I tried avoiding him. I tried going elsewhere.

I felt because he told me he liked me first that I was breaking up a marriage. I pushed him away. I told him I respected him too much but he asked me to stay a friend. I didn’t want to be his friend because I knew what would happen. That I would lose control of my feelings and be this other woman.

I never asked to be the other woman. I tried my best not to. I even tried being someone I wasn’t to scare him away but he saw through all I told him.

I wish you could truly understand all that’s happened in four months. But there’s so much. Most of it was avoiding another. Avoiding another disrupted our studies though. We’re currently in the nursing program at school together. Two weeks ago I was making the choice to fail out of school and make things easier for him so he wouldn’t be in any situation with me.

I know what it feels like to be infatuated with someone and in love with someone. I’ve been on both sides. I can honestly say I do love him. It’s the fact I love him that made me push him away so much. I pushed him away last Wednesday. I called him a filthy pig and names that were oh so harsh. What bothers me most is what I said to make him leave me alone. None of it was true. He had his reasons for all he feels. She’s not around and tells him to die when he says he loves her. I just hope he can forgive me for all I said. I’m not worried about our love. Personally I love him enough to say of rather him and her fixed their issues and seeked counseling or something together. I even told him that and he told me he’s tried a lot of counseling. He just has PTSD, feels unsafe and can’t open his heart up to her anymore.

If anything I pray for his safety and hope him and her can fix things. Marriage is a lifelong commitment.

I just don’t know how I got myself into this situation. I moved around so much. All I wanted was a friend.

I don’t know what to do. I wish I didn’t feel as I do for him. I want to drop out of school so he can Jane things easy and forget me and become the nurse he yearns to be. I’m willing to put my life on hold if it keeps him happy and his soul in peace.

What do I do? Is there a good prayer I can say? Or something I can even turn to in the bible to read? All I really want is to do what’s best. I feel awful for how I feel and the way things are.

Thank you.

FATHER JOE: Your studies are important. He is not free to love you. You have to be strong and mature about this. Romantic love is often not enough. You can become quickly victimized by this relationship. Already your schooling is jeopardized. There are still unanswered questions about past history and the nature of the current bond. I presumed he was Catholic. If not, and if his spouse were not, then the bond would be presumed as both valid and licit. Are we sure that there was no other bond?
mjoetbz, on November 30, 2012 at 6:45 pm said:

Hello,

My name is [Deleted], I am 20 years old, Catholic and living in [Deleted]. I’m writing because I’m stuck and don’t know what to do.

I fell in love with a married man in his 30’s. He’s been married for 3 years. It was not done in a Catholic Church and so his priest calls it invalid. The woman he is married to is quite abusive. She throws guns at him when she doesn’t get her own way. He said she’s been different since he married her. The fact that she threw a loaded gun at him that almost went off gave him PTSD.

He closed off his heart but stays married to her because of God. I’ve been good friends with him for a few months while in college together. I respected him so much. I never wanted to kiss him or do anything to make him mess things up with his wife. Only last Monday, we kissed. I stopped him and he said to stop stopping him. That he chose me.

He makes me feel different. Better than I ever was. He inspires me to be my best. He drives me out of my comfort zone and makes me feel like I can do anything. I never loved someone as much as I do him.

He’s meeting with his priest next Saturday for advice on if he should avoid me or get a divorce. He hasn’t been happy in a long time.

I know I’m just going to get hurt in the end. I feel God would want him to stay with his wife. That’s why I pushed him away.

What should I do? Will I go to hell for stealing his heart unintentionally? Will he ever feel safe again if he stays with her?

Thank you

FATHER JOE:

First, you are much younger than he is and some of what you are feeling might be infatuation. You say, yourself, that you have a deep respect for him. You are probably also delighted that he chose you or wants you. You must reflect upon your own feelings before imagining what he is feeling.

Second, you admit that he is uncertain how to proceed. He will rightly discuss the issue with his priest but there is no guarantee that he will leave his wife. Whatever he says, there is still an emotional attachment there. Although outside the Church, he loved this woman enough to establish a civil bond with her. Why was the marriage not celebrated before a priest? There is a lot about his history to which we may not be privy. Was there a prior bond? A man who makes a mess of one relationship can do so again. You have only heard one side of their story as husband and wife. Who is to say that it is entirely accurate?

Third, yes you are right that the marriage of a Catholic outside the Church is normally neither valid nor licit. The bond could be declared null-and-void under a lack of canonical form. But however one might look at it, how would it feel for you to always know that you were “the other woman.” Taking another man’s wife is frowned upon, even by society. Particularly when bonds are witnessed in the Church, such is regarded as a crime. While you may not have engaged in sexual congress; flirtation and passionate kisses would place you in the role of adulteress. Can you handle that?

If your love interest gets a divorce and Church declaration of nullity due to lack of canonical form, and if there are no other bonds, you would then be free to engage in courtship and possible marriage.
Erin, on November 29, 2012 at 1:54 am said:

Dear Fr. Joseph,

I was just wondering what’s so wrong with Polka Masses. I’ve heard priests say they such music is unfitting for Mass. I know other priests who actually celebrate them.

Who decides what’s appropriate for Mass? Did Jesus give us a list of instruments we can and cannot use?

Also, how can two Catholic priests have different rules?

FATHER JOE: The liturgy is currently in transition. Many critics argue that the Mass should use compositions and a style of music that is uniquely liturgical. Others would permit polka music, folk music, contemporary music, classical music, gospel music, mariachi music, etc. Many English Masses use a traditional Irish style that is very emotional or sentimental. The Holy Father favors a set music and a chant style, as in gregorian. There is also a push for an approved episcopal directory of liturgical music that would replace current religious hymn books. Church music traditionally had a preference for the vocal although the organ became the chief supporting musical instrument. The Eastern tradition has preserved the gravity upon vocal without instrumentation. Recorded music is frowned upon. The Mass is worship not simply entertainment. A CD player cannot give glory to God.
Ted, on November 28, 2012 at 4:45 am said:

Dear Fr. Joe,

What can I do to the anti-Catholics around me.
Please help me.

FATHER JOE: You can personally pray for courage. You can pray for them and try to love them.
Mary, on November 27, 2012 at 8:25 pm said:

Need an answer. I am confused about rules after divorce. We are both Catholic. Had a Catholic marriage. Now divorced but neither of us had an annulment. Husband remarried by a Justice of Peace. Now are we still married in the eyes of the Catholic Church and is he legally married when married by Justice of Peace? Since his remarriage, he has asked me out several times and I told him he’s married and he also thinks it’s ok for us to have an intimate relationship but I said not since he’s remarried. Is he right and I wrong for turning him down since the Church says we are still married in the eyes of the Church or where do I stand in this situation? Also where does the other woman stand in this situation?

FATHER JOE: He divorced you, married another woman, but still wants to be intimate with you. The man is a reprobate and you should both walk away from him. Yes, it is true that in the eyes of the Church he is still your spouse. However, if such behavior is representative of how he approaches marriage and human sexuality then you have likely grounds for an annulment. If he were serious then he would break off the second relationship. He wronged both you and this other woman. You really want no part of his immoral antics.
Steve, on November 25, 2012 at 11:28 am said:

Is it the same thing for teenagers?

FATHER JOE: Yes, there is a similar process for teens coming into the Church.
Melissa Tan, on November 22, 2012 at 4:34 pm said:

Dear Father Joseph, please help to explain in details the actual story of how Martin Luther accused Johann Tetzel (sent by Pope Leo X) for selling indulgence certificate that later lead to split in the Western Church. The accusation was not true, right? Thank you.

FATHER JOE: The story is a mixed bag. Tetzel preached indulgences. The Church still does; indeed, a plenary indulgence is available during this special Year of Faith called by the Pope. Tetzel was on the record for acknowledging that one had to go to Confession and be in a state of grace for their spiritual benefit. However, no one can buy another out of hell… an exaggeration sometimes thrown at Tetzel by anti-Catholic apologists. Tetzel received so much recrimination because of the debate with Luther that Luther, himself, later apologized and commiserated with him on the poor treatment he was receiving even from churchmen loyal to the Catholic Church. Luther sent him a letter while Tetzel was on his deathbed acknowledging that Tetzel was not the cause of the rebellion of princes and the fracturing of the Church. Tetzel died a broken man accused of scandals which were later proven false.
Hez, on November 21, 2012 at 7:50 am said:

Father Joe,

I have question regarding prophecy. I know private interpretation is prohibited and rightly so, but is it good to listen to the prophecies of the saints regarding, “the man of sin,” such as the early church fathers, who talked about him. What about St. Malachi and his vision regarding the popes. I’m just asking because I don’t want to be confuse. What is the church’s take on all these prophecies and are they accurate or somewhat vague?

FATHER JOE: It is not that private interpretation is prohibited; rather, the issue is that no private interpretation of Scripture should conflict with the public meaning understood by the Magisterium and the believing Church. The Bible must still speak to you in your personal life. The Catholic is urged to invoke the Holy Spirit prior to bible reading so that we might have the mind of Christ and his Church. The views of the early Church fathers are regarded as normative for the universal faith and we seek their consensus. Exegetes have their opinions and theories, particularly about Scriptures where the Church gives no definitive interpretation. As for the so-called prophecies of St. Malachy, they are interesting but probably falsely attributed to him. They have no official standing. Have you read them? They are more than vague. There is only one more to go: “In persecutione extrema S.R.E. sedebit Petrus Romanus, qui pascet oves in multis tribulationibus: quibus transactis civitas septicollis diruetur, & Judex tremêdus judicabit populum suum. Finis.”
Steve, on November 19, 2012 at 10:36 pm said:

Sure, I hope I’ll be able to get baptized if I get the chance, but does the church require me to introduce myself?

FATHER JOE: If you believe in Christ you should seek out the Church, take instruction, and get baptized. Adults entering the Catholic Church would receive (all at once) the sacraments of Baptism, Confirmation and Holy Communion.
Saintmichaelleo, on November 19, 2012 at 5:29 am said:

Dear Father, I have a quick question, I’m Catholic and was wondering about the bible. I know the Old Testament was written in Hebrew, and the New Testament in Greek, but what language did Jesus speak, Hebrew and then the New Testament writers, just translated or did he speak Greek.
One more question why do Protestants say the Greek word, “adelphoi,” means brother and Catholics say is cousin. Is there a Greek Dictionary that can be useful since modern day Greek is not the same Greek as 2,000 years ago.
Thank You for always answering our questions.

FATHER JOE: Actually while most of the books in the Old Testament were written in Hebrew, a few were composed or have only survived in Greek. The early Church used the Greek version of the Old Testament Scriptures (used by Jews outside of Palestine) and such is why the Catholic canon for the Bible has seven books not found in the redacted (edited) Protestant bible which exclusively used a Hebrew text. Every time Jesus quotes the Old Testament in the Gospels, the text used is the Septuagint or Greek version. The New Testament and the Gospels have come down to us in Greek. There is speculation that there might have been an Aramaic or Hebrew version of Matthew. Jesus spoke the language of his day, Aramaic. However, in addition to Aramaic/Hebrew, there is evidence that he knew Latin (in his conversation with Pilate) and as a learned person, Greek. There are various good language dictionaries but I have found that they are of little value unless one learns the language itself. Hebrew is particularly difficult but if you are serious I would encourage you to study Latin and Greek. The Latin Vulgate is the official Bible of the Catholic Church and Latin and Greek open up many writings from the Church fathers. The word “adelphoi” means brother(s) but given biblical context can also mean cousins or associates. Peter uses the word for the crowd that gathers in the Upper Room. The Greek word here for brother, as with the Greek word for Rock, must be understood in relation to the Hebrew/Aramaic language. The oral tradition and Hebrew elements are rendered into Greek. Such a transition is not always perfect. The Aramaic/Hebrew word for brothers was also used for cousins. Two of these “brethren” of Jesus are acknowledged in the Gospel as being children of another Mary, the wife of Clopas. Certain Protestant apologists will deride the Greek word “petros” used in regard to petrine authority. They argue that there is another Greek word for rock and that Jesus is only callyng Peter a pebble. The problem is, again, no exact vocabulary. The other peferable Greek word for rock is feminine and since Jesus makes this Simon’s proper name, the human author refrains from giving him what would sound in Greek as a girl’s name. St. Paul sometimes calls Simon Peter by his Aramaic name, Cephas or Kephas, meaning ROCK.
Steve, on November 19, 2012 at 12:14 am said:

I refuse nothing, if I had the chance I would get baptized, I want to, I just dont have that chance.

FATHER JOE: There are Catholic Churches in Ontario, Canada. Are you in Bruce County? Would you like a referral?
Ron, on November 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm said:

So if it was legal it would be okay?

FATHER JOE: Not necessarily, but until or if the law changes, the matter is academic. The late William F. Buckley thought the war on drugs was lost and favored legalization. Ron Paul has argued for the medical use of Marijuana. There would still be other issues, as with tobacco and alcohol. Is it dangerous to your health? Might it affect judgment leading to serious accidents? Does society really benefit from the legalization of drugs?
Steve, on November 16, 2012 at 9:21 pm said:

I have faith, 100%. But if I don’t get baptized will my soul be sent to the lake of fire and brimstone?

FATHER JOE: We leave judgment to God. But if you have genuine faith then why refuse Christ’s command to be baptized?
Ron, on November 16, 2012 at 12:02 pm said:

I thought, since it altered your mind, and you body is the temple of christ, it would be sin?

FATHER JOE: Yes, there may indeed be other reasons why such drug use is wrong. I would certainly oppose such usage.
Ron, on November 15, 2012 at 12:56 pm said:

Is smoking marijuana a sin?

FATHER JOE: Breaking just laws is a sin.
Steve, on November 15, 2012 at 3:20 am said:

But what if we never get the chance to? In the bible there was a man who was crucified along with jesus and jesus siad henwould see him in paradise.

FATHER JOE: Jesus sets the parameters of salvation. While he commands water-baptism, he gave his apostles the essential sacraments at the Last Supper by saying, “Do this in remembrance of me?” Similarly, he could make a special provision for the good thief on the cross, particularly as he literally died “like” Christ and “with” Christ. Baptism enters us into the paschal mystery of Christ: his passion, death and resurrection. Martyrs who followed included the baptized and those who were spiritually incorporated through baptism by blood.
Kristie, on November 14, 2012 at 7:34 pm said:

What porn did to a marriage

What do you think of this article Father Joe?

FATHER JOE: It is interesting but brief. Christian opposition to pornography should be obvious. Women are the main target of such perversity. The human person’s dignity and gender is degraded. Instead of being treated with respect, the woman is reduced to her flesh, literally no more than meat for the hungry dogs. Instead of being treated as a subject of love and partnership, the person is made an object for selfish lusts and manipulation. The one who is addicted to pornography becomes corrupted, reduced in manner and attitude to the level of a beast. Men and women alike are damaged in their relationships by this sin. Indeed, I would categorize pornography as a form of virtual adultery. It is not about faces, but bodies. It makes people interchangeable. It destroys a singular relationship and wounds fidelity and unity. I know many spouses who suffer because their partners are caught up in it. They do what they can to preserve the home and to protect their children from the “dirty secret.”
Rosamund Sulyak, on November 14, 2012 at 7:07 pm said:

If the ‘penny catechism’ is no longer THE catechism, what is the ‘new’ catechism, which I read about in your blog. I had never heard of it until it was mentioned recently in the press. Are the laity allowed to read it or is it for clergy and catechists only? The lack of instruction, before marriage, child’s baptism, first school, first communion and confirmation have left me in the dark about many aspects of catholic doctrine. Why was there so little instruction even before entering the church? Marriage, sexuality, child rearing were ‘not thought necessary in my case’, even confession was never reached. It seems unfair, as if only cradle Catholics are the preferred ones who get the information. I am still perplexed after nearly 50 years.

FATHER JOE: The universal catechism is available even in most secular bookstores. During this special Holy Year of Faith study of the creed and the catechism is encouraged. The information is readily available. We sold the universal catechism from my parish when it first came out in the 1990’s.

Catechism of the Catholic Church: Second Edition (universal catechism)

This same catechism is AVAILABLE FREE ONLINE from the Vatican.

United States Catholic Catechism for Adults (catechism from the USCCB)
Steve, on November 13, 2012 at 9:07 pm said:

So when we are baptized, will our sins always be forgiven even if we don’t ask?

FATHER JOE: The child has no personal sins, only original sin, and that is washed away by baptism. As for the adult or school-aged child, we are not supposed to baptize anyone past the age of reason without their informed consent. If you ask for baptism, then you are requesting regeneration in Christ and absolution from sin: personal and original.
Melissa Tan, on November 13, 2012 at 9:24 am said:

Dear Father Joseph

May I ask the source that mentioned about St. Peter and St. Paul death?

Thank you.

FATHER JOE: Both Tertullian and Origen tell us that St. Peter died by crucifixion. Telling his executioners that he did not deserve to die like “his Lord,” they turn him upside-down on the cross. This caused blood to rush to the head and did not result in suffocation like ordinary crufixions. St. Paul, as a Roman citizen, could not be crucified. While both die under Nero, St. Paul suffers beheading. St. Ignatius (around 110 AD) testifies to his martyrdom back in the mid 60’s.
Tan Chu Chin, on November 9, 2012 at 5:35 am said:

Dear Father Joseph

May I know how St Paul the apostle and St Peter died?

FATHER JOE: St. Peter was crucified upside down. St. Paul was beheaded.
Steve, on November 5, 2012 at 10:52 pm said:

I’m not sure but, when we accept jesus as our lord and saviour, are we forgiven for all past present and future sins, or must we still ask for forgivness?

FATHER JOE: If we have faith we must be baptized. Our sins are forgiven in the sacrament.