Ask a Priest

5,442 Responses

chinonye, on October 20, 2015 at 10:11 pm said:

Hello Fr.
I hope this isn’t an awkward question but I wanted to ask, was Jesus scourged naked? Thanks.

FATHER JOE: He probably wore a loin cloth.
F.F., on October 20, 2015 at 6:51 pm said:

I’m still not sure what you meant. Can you elaborate?

FATHER JOE: No, not without more specifics.
Arina, on October 20, 2015 at 6:29 pm said:

Dear Father Joe,

I don’t know who to talk to about this one. I started seeing an angel in my dreams about a month ago. But in fact, they were not simply dreams, more like visions. He healed me twice when I was sick, while I was half asleep, and still aware of everything going on around me. He was trying to talk to me in my dreams that were ever so vivid, and while he was, there was a feeling that my soul was leaving my body, and there was white noise I was hearing, and I felt electricity running through my body, so strong I was arched and forced to sit, and when I did, I realized my body was left lying on my bed, and my soul or whatever it was – I was sitting on my bed seeing my body lying there. This feeling repeats almost every night, and the angel tries to contact me almost every night. I see demons attacking me in my dreams, and the angel comes and helps me fight them when I can’t do it on my own.
I am a bit scared. I don’t know how to react and what to do. If it is really an angel, what should I do? He told me last night he was busy and couldn’t come and talk. And this is what I want most: to talk to him and get an explanation.
I pray every day and night, but what I fear the most is that it is not an angel, but something else… But still, he helps me, heals me, fights for me.
And after every night battle when I wake up I feel weak, because I spend so much energy on waging these wars with demons, on these feeling of my soul leaving my body, on constant fear I am doing or may do something wrong.
Please, Father, help me.

FATHER JOE:

What is going on here?

First, it could be a fiction that you are manufacturing.

Second, they may simply be vivid dreams.

Third, the whole business could be a symptom of mental disease.

Fourth, there could be something supernatural happening.

Given the last possibility, if they signify genuine spiritual visitations then I would urge special diligence. You do not spell out how the angel heals you and this is not the general preoccupation of heavenly angels, even the guardians. What worries me is that you state “there was a feeling that my soul was leaving my body.” This is an element of the occult and some researchers assert that it renders the body vulnerable to hostile invasion or possession by demons. Further, “white noise” is the latest fad of paranormal researchers wherein they seek hidden messages from the dead. I heard one story where these messages became addictive and a woman recorded increasingly troubling communications. It was determined that the ghosts were actually demons masquerading as the dead.

You state that the angel is trying to talk with you and that it helps somehow against attacking demons. Sorry, but the scenario may be a set up or Trojan horse. Remember that the devil was also regarded as an angel of light. He is all about deception. This angel evidently wants you to let down your guard. Demons are fallen angels. Angels know duration but do not live in time. Thus the message about being busy is nonsense and a deception. Notice there is no heavenly message or inner-locution.

I would suggest that you go to Confession and have a priest pray a prayer of spiritual deliverance over you. Say the Litany of the Sacred Heart and the Prayer of Consecration. The intercessory prayer to St. Michael is also good. Keep sacramentals in your home and dismiss the nocturnal visions. I would mock the devil with laughter. He is pathetic and cannot stand to be ridiculed. I would focus on Christ and the Blessed Mother. Try not to dwell on evil spirits and avoid obsession with occult matters.
Ryan, on October 20, 2015 at 5:35 pm said:

hi I would like to ask a question, am looking to make an amendment or addendum to the canon laws for the Eucharist and am seeking an email for a contact at the Vatican for the Congregation for divine Worship

FATHER JOE: Canonical procedures would not allow your intervention. Sorry.
F.F., on October 18, 2015 at 7:23 pm said:

Can you please explain what you mean by “some are more susceptible to same-sex attraction than others, maybe even more so than they consciously know”?

FATHER JOE: It is merely an assertion about concupiscence and the brokenness of the human condition.
stevebax, on October 17, 2015 at 6:22 pm said:

Dear Father;

A couple of days ago, a relative passed away here in California. She had been diagnosed with advanced pancreatic cancer at age 84 and passed shortly after. She and her husband (still alive) had been married for 50 years or so and both were (and remain) devout, practicing Catholics who belong to a local parish. My question: because the death occurred in California, and burial will be in a Catholic cemetery, will the Church require documentation that proves she didn’t participate in the newly enacted (in California) physician-assisted suicide process? She did NOT do so, but I’ve heard that it is now a requirement of the Church, which is to say, in States that have legalized physician-assisted suicide, the Church requires proof that a physician did not administer life ending drugs. Is that true? Thank you.

FATHER JOE: I live on the East Coast and have heard nothing about it. Is the information to head off scandal and/or to prepare proper teaching materials about the sanctity of life? In days gone by public funeral rites and burial in consecrated ground was denied those who committed suicide. However, some regard was always given the person’s mental and emotional status. Canon Law no longer specifically mentions suicide as an impediment to a Church funeral and internment in a Catholic cemetery.
F.F., on October 17, 2015 at 4:10 am said:

My best friend and I have known each other for nearly all of our lives, but we became especially close during high school. We both experienced the grief of losing a family member around the same time and also went through similar troubles with home life. I became dependent on her, put my trust in her, and talked to her about everything. One might think that I made an idol out of her, devoting more time to her, and less time to God. I know that He should be the one I rely on and I am continually working on growing closer to Him and less dependent on her.

This past year it got worse as it dawned on us that we would be at colleges half-way across the U.S. and wouldn’t see each other until Thanksgiving. I never expressed affection very much, but our shared grief and family issues caused me to become even more emotionally and physically attached to her. I began to hug her every time we parted. Then, after seeing two women at mass kiss each other on the cheek in greeting, we began doing that. During sleep-overs we would even hold each other as we slept, and one day I kissed her on the lips. I felt so sinful finding comfort in these sinful acts. I never wanted to corrupt her. I never wanted to cause her to sin, as I know that is one of the worst things you can do (Luke 17:2). Both she and I are straight and both of us condemned gay marriage. I felt so hypocritical. I never felt attracted to another girl, it’s just her. And I’m not attracted sexually! It’s more of her personality – who she is – that I find comforting and appealing. Society nowadays is so corrupt, especially with all the support of gay marriage from the media and celebrities. Now if you’re a girl and even think another girl is pretty (maybe you just like her dress, for example) you begin guiltily wondering if you’re not normal, and then society encourages you to define yourself in their liberal terms. Sorry for that tangent, and yes, I realize I cannot blame society for my sins.

Thankfully, the Lord has physically separated us, so the temptation is greatly diminished; however, she and I will see each other again over Thanksgiving break and I fear that I will fall into sin again. I know it’s probably wrong to ask, “how far is too far?” as that makes it seem as if one does not respect or fear God. She and I have already promised that we would never kiss each other on the lips again, but would it still be wrong to “greet one another with a holy kiss”? (Romans 16:16). What makes a kiss holy vs. sinful? Our close relationship reminds me of David and Johnathan and how “the soul of Johnathan was bound to the soul of David, and Johnathan loved him as his own soul.” (1 Samuel 18:1) In 1 Samuel 20, verse 41, we read that “they kissed each other.” I know it is wrong for me to manipulate scripture to try to justify my actions, and I know that I have no excuse for the sin I committed, but I am wondering if it is okay, for me to express love in certain ways, such as a kiss on the cheek, to someone I care deeply about. I want to live for God, not for myself, and not to please her. In the meantime, while we’re apart, it’s been very difficult, and I’ve become depressed, though I find that when I am in God’s word I am not so depressed, as He gives me strength. I believe my depression occurs when I am searching for joy in things outside of God, which is sinful.

Because I love my friend, I do not want to lead her into sin, and because I love God, I do not want to sin against Him. Please pray that I can set aside my selfish desires and do what is in the best interest of both me, and my friend, and in alignment with God’s holy and perfect will.

I apologize that this is a bit lengthy and that it is a difficult subject. I would appreciate your guidance and prayer.

Thanks.

FATHER JOE: I am not sure that as women you have done anything grievously wrong. It seems you have a deep sisterly love for each other. Be cautious, however, because some are more susceptible to same-sex attraction than others, maybe even more so than they consciously know. God bless!
peeptuisku, on October 15, 2015 at 4:20 pm said:

Hello, Father!
I have a film and tv show which I would like to ask about to know if it’s appropriate for a Catholic to watch. They both have strong catholic themes in it, but since they contain some scenes and plots that make me wonder if they’re blasphemous or impure, then it’s better to ask. Since they seem to have very good themes (regarding faith) in them as well.

1) The film is “Sleepers” (1995). There are few scenes which are quite disturbing and and entire plot might have few details that are inappropriate or just seem wrong – like priest that lies for his boys/criminals who commit murder as revenge for their abusers in childhood or using confessional as a prank by boys (it’s bit like mocking a sacrament or isn’t it?); and then there’s a scene where boys are being raped by boarding school staff and abusers mock their beliefs by making them pray rosary while being abused etc. I don’t actually see catholicism or Church being mocked – the priest that they depict is quite nice and warm fellow and does everything to keep the boys off the street and be there for them. I saw the film before I became a Catholic but I don’t know if it’s okay to watch it again since it has many uplifting and inspiring scenes in it.

2) The TV show is called “Saving Grace” which is about misled and troubled woman who gets a second change from God represented by angel that has came to save her. I haven’t actually seen it yet… at least not the whole pilot. I read about the series and found from a review that the writer is catholic. But when I started watching the beginning of the pilot I was bit shocked cause it started off with a sex scene showing the main character having relationship with married man. I automatically closed the computer. May be you have heard something about the series and can tell me if it’s sinful or not.

Thank you, Father!

FATHER JOE: I have never seen SLEEPERS and thus cannot say much about it. As for the depiction of a priest, I would hope that our men would not commit perjury as he apparently does according to online sources. I never saw SAVING GRACE either. I did read that the premier featured 55 profanities, including the s-word and multiple variations of God’s name in vain. That sounds pretty bad to me.
Andrew, on October 15, 2015 at 1:56 pm said:

I am a practicing Catholic. Because of a lack of believers in his own family, my friend- a practicing member of the Armenian Apostolic church (one of the Oriental Orthodox churches) asked me to be godfather to his baby. Is this permissible for a Catholic?

FATHER JOE: A Catholic is not forbidden to stand as a godparent in an Oriental Orthodox church if so invited. But the family should make sure that there is no objection from the Armenian Apostolic Church.
catholic girl, on October 14, 2015 at 10:57 am said:

Dear Fr Joe,

Thanks for your answer to my previous question. I have another question. On Sunday when i went to recieve Jesus at holy communion i noticed that a small but clearly visible particle of the Blessed Sacrament was stuck on the hand of the distributing priest.

I didnt know what to do and I cant help but wonder what eventually happened. I worry does this happen alot in our churches and is our Lord offended when such accidents happen?

Thanks and God bless you Father.

FATHER JOE: Priests are diligent about their fingers and the proper ablutions that show respect to the sacrament. Particles of the host are small and there is no intent to dishonor our Lord in the sacrament. There is no way to completely avoid such fragments and Jesus understands how the Incarnation and the Eucharist make him vulnerable.
William Guevara, on October 14, 2015 at 4:30 am said:

Hi my name is Wiiliam, and I am so confuse with my relationship, I have been with her since April 2012, When I met her, she was going through her separation from her abusive husband, which she is married to. She is an illegal immigrant from Mexico, and those mexican men are very machismo. I tried to guide her into divorcing, but her husband did not want to give her the divorce. Now is October 2015 and I have been with her all this time and it’s been pretty hard to cope with this relationship, but I have managed somehow to still be together. I have been very stressed out because I stared to give her the silent treatment, which was a wrong thing to do. I sometimes lose my patience is the reason why I distance myself, for two or three weeks that I had not call her. She went back to this AA meeting called 4 & 5 path, which she attended when she was with her husband, which the husband was an alcoholic, but left the program. She is not an alcoholic but lived with that abuser. Now she has taking that program so serious and still want me to change. I have tried but now she had even said to me that we can’t have sex for a year with her. I am so confuse because of this decision she has taken. Is there any advise you can give me. I told her that it’s best that we speak to higher authority and get some advice, instead of torturing with abstinence. The good thing is that her ex, which she is still married has found a woman and now wants to give her the divorce. I want to do the right thing, should I continue or should I leave.

FATHER JOE: You would seriously wonder what a priest would say about your situation? Not only do you admit that your relationship is troubled, its very nature is adulterous. You are not married to this woman and have no right to sexual congress. The right thing to do is to separate. If there are any children then you will have a continuing obligation toward them.
David Dabrowski, on October 14, 2015 at 2:10 am said:

Hello,

My name is David and I am 16 years old. I have a question/issue and do not know if I am overreacting. I commonly get distracted while praying. Yesterday when I was saying my nightly prayer, I told God that I guarantee I would keep praying continually or else I would go to hell.

Unfortunately, I got distracted. Then I made another guarantee I would not get distracted, and I did not. I also prayed that I now do not mean it and I said I am sorry. My question is, am I now going to hell or forgiven? Am I overreacting?

Thank you very much,

David

FATHER JOE: Yes, you are overly concerned. We all get distracted. Just stop making silly promises and talk to God in earnest. Peace!
confusedjanie, on October 13, 2015 at 5:06 pm said:

Dear Fr Joe,
I need your advice please. A certain book called battlefield of the mind was recommended to me to help with my anxiety issues.
Before i spend hard to get cash i guess about 20 dollars to buy it i was wondering if someone has read it.
Have you heard of it?
A well intentioned person once warned me about reading books without research knowing me and my weak faith it was probably a sound warning.
Thanks and God bless you fr.

FATHER JOE: I am not familiar with it. Sorry. There is a link at EWTN that might help you. Evidently she has certain Pentecostal views not compatible with Catholicism, particularly in regard to the atonement of the Cross. There seems to be some confusion between the hell of the damned and the limbo of the fathers to which Jesus descended.
JMSBrown, on October 12, 2015 at 8:13 pm said:

Hello Father,
A fellow mother that I know observed a priest reach out his hands to give me a hug. She insists that he kissed my head. She stated that he did this with other another mother that he knows. Children were present. I have known the priest for about 5 years. The priest is Italian and I understand that affection is commonly shown within their culture. I am certain that he only gave me a hug. The mother is not Catholic and is disturbed by what she saw in front of children.
My question is what is the church’s teaching on a priest giving a kiss on the head to anyone (male or female)? I just would like to give the fellow mother who is not Catholic clarification on any confusion that she feels.

Thank you for your time. God bless you.

FATHER JOE: She makes too much of it and it is wrong to judge him.
Bernadette, on October 12, 2015 at 7:52 pm said:

Sorry. Thanks for answering my questions so patiently.

FATHER JOE: There is nothing to be sorry about. Know that I keep you in my heart and prayers. I bet many people care and love and pray for you.
M. McC, on October 12, 2015 at 6:22 pm said:

Thank you for the reply, Father. And God bless you.
Bernadette, on October 12, 2015 at 2:54 pm said:

Father, how do I let people love me? For that matter, how do I let God love me? I don’t know how.

-Ana

FATHER JOE:

These are really questions for one-on-one guidance from a Christian counselor or your priest confessor or spiritual director. You have serious personal issues that would best be discussed in confidence, not on a public blog. I suspect your question emerges from memories of abuse or dismissal. Loving someone and allowing yourself to be loved always demands a basic vulnerability. But you have to be willing to trust and to take a chance. People who have been hurt often put up walls to protect themselves. But we only end up isolating ourselves behind distrust and loneliness.
Renee, on October 12, 2015 at 2:17 am said:

Hello Father Joseph. If I am in the state of mortal sin, but have a Mass offered for the Souls in Purgatory or someone else, does the Lord accept the Mass offered for the individual or soul?

FATHER JOE: Yes, because the fruits of the Mass find their source in the redemptive sacrifice of Christ.
Bernadette, on October 12, 2015 at 2:16 am said:

Father,

I’m having a really hard time. If God is supposed to be the only one who really loves us, than why have relationships? My counselor told me that I need to stop thinking of the father-figures who failed me and think of God instead, who loves me. I don’t mean to think of them. I just do. I have dreams about one in particular, and most everything reminds me of him. I hate it. I feel ashamed. I also feel trapped. I feel like I should hate everyone to love God. People are mean anyways. But that’s not what Jesus commands. I’m so confused.

-Ana

FATHER JOE: First, God is not necessarily the “only one” who really loves us. Second, we have relationships with others because man is a social animal and we are part of the human family. It is also reflective of the commandments of the Decalogue. We are also called to live out both a personal and a COMMUNAL or CORRPORATE faith. No one comes to God alone. Third, people who may love you are not necessarily perfect. They struggle with selfishness, sin and brokenness. It is true that there are villains in this world; but there are also many people like you who struggle to do what is right and have love to share. You have to love people and let them love you without placing them on pedestals. Peace!
M. McC, on October 11, 2015 at 7:38 pm said:

Forgive me, Father, this may sound silly, but I bought a cappuccino today (Sunday). I know full well it is the Lord’s Day, but I still put my coat on and went to the shop for it, I knew what I was doing was wrong and dishonourable. I am deeply sorry now, of course, What I did was a deliberate and disgraceful act of disrespect against Our Lord. Have I committed a mortal sin> I don’t know why I’m asking – I know the commandment (Thou shalt keep holy the Lord’s Day). I think I’m terrified something might happen to me before Thursday (next available day for confession) and I’ll die in a state of mortal sin. I don’t want to exist in an afterlife without the promise of God.

FATHER JOE:

According to how the precepts are currently being enacted it is not a sin. But you have to follow personal conscience on this one. That means that subjectively it may be venial for you. Read CCC #2187 for clarification below.

Read the universal catechism:

[CCC 2185] On Sundays and other holy days of obligation, the faithful are to refrain from engaging in work or activities that hinder the worship owed to God, the joy proper to the Lord’s Day, the performance of the works of mercy, and the appropriate relaxation of mind and body. Family needs or important social service can legitimately excuse from the obligation of Sunday rest. The faithful should see to it that legitimate excuses do not lead to habits prejudicial to religion, family life, and health.

[CCC 2186] Those Christians who have leisure should be mindful of their brethren who have the same needs and the same rights, yet cannot rest from work because of poverty and misery. Sunday is traditionally consecrated by Christian piety to good works and humble service of the sick, the infirm, and the elderly. Christians will also sanctify Sunday by devoting time and care to their families and relatives, often difficult to do on other days of the week. Sunday is a time for reflection, silence, cultivation of the mind, and meditation which furthers the growth of the Christian interior life.

[CCC 2187] Sanctifying Sundays and holy days requires a common effort. Every Christian should avoid making unnecessary demands on others that would hinder them from observing the Lord’s Day. Traditional activities (sport, restaurants, etc.), and social necessities (public services, etc.), require some people to work on Sundays, but everyone should still take care to set aside sufficient time for leisure. With temperance and charity the faithful will see to it that they avoid the excesses and violence sometimes associated with popular leisure activities. In spite of economic constraints, public authorities should ensure citizens a time intended for rest and divine worship. Employers have a similar obligation toward their employees.

You would only be committing a sin if your actions made the worship and/or leisure of others impossible. Many are required to work on Sundays. Our patronage is what makes it possible for them to keep their homes and raise their families.
Connie Korot, on October 11, 2015 at 7:30 pm said:

I have a question. There are 2 sins that I have confessed and been given absolution for. These 2 sins in particular still bother me. I feel as though the penance the priest gave me was not enough. I am continuous pain from spinal stenosis. I think that the pain I feel is God’s penance for those 2 sins. Am I right or way off base.

FATHER JOE: The sin absolved is still forgiven. The penance sufficed to satisfy the sacrament, as the priest had the power to impose it. You can always do additional penance and prayerfully surrendering your physical pain to God as an offering with Christ’s passion is a recommended practice. Nothing is wasted. We are to join our crosses to our Lord’s Cross and follow him.
Cu, on October 11, 2015 at 4:09 am said:

Does God believe in us?
What I mean is does He believe in our strength not in a worshipping sense but does He believe that we could ever be strong? When Mom talks about faith it sounds like to God without Him we are all weak and can never stand on our own. Is that really how He feels? Does He believe I am weak?

FATHER JOE:

This is similar to the question, can we save ourselves? The answer is no. We can be disposed to grace and mercy but the work itself is accomplished by Christ. As for your question, here are a few important distinctions.

(1) God KNOWS but God does NOT believe in anything. Belief is to trust in things unseen or mysterious. God is omniscient and nothing escapes his knowing. Further, what God knows is objective truth. Any feelings or beliefs that you might have that are not in sync with the divine are false delusions.

(2) What do you mean by strength? We are utterly dependent upon God. If God were to forget you, even for a moment, you would cease to exist. Fortunately, such an eventuality is opposed to the divine economy. Creation is not a one-time deal. God is constantly creating you, keeping you and everything else in existence.

(3) You have nothing that God does not give you. Everything, salvation included, is God’s gift to you. God gives you the freedom to accept or deny the gift of his love. Your strength is in the Lord. Without God, you have nothing… you are nothing. The posture of the creature to the Creator is a profound humility.
Tony, on October 11, 2015 at 2:30 am said:

Hello Father. Tonight I texted someone I told the person I wanted to see how they were doing. But I didn’t really. After that I told the person that the only reason why I texted the person is because I was board. (The truth) can I recieve Holy Communion?

Hear from you soon. Thank you. God Bless

FATHER JOE: Not sure what you are trying to say. However small deceptions would be counted as venial sins and thus you could receive Holy Communion.
annie, on October 9, 2015 at 5:55 am said:

Hi father Joseph, my question to u is since I’m a practicing catholic and well I sometimes wonder what the church believes on premarital sex ?

FATHER JOE: The Church maintains that sexual (genital) activity is restricted to married couples.
Kai, on October 7, 2015 at 10:48 am said:

Hi Fr. Joe
I would like to ask a sort of awkward question.
So I went on YouTube to watch videos and as usual those adds pop up.
I saw an ad where womens’ buttocks were being partially shown in underwear.
I didn’t sexualize it nor I had the urge. Is it a sin? Does it fall under the category of pornography? I admit to not looking away from it immediately, though.

FATHER JOE: A similar question came up years ago before the advent of online videos. It was about the evening TV news and commercials for women’s underwear and washing soap. The ads had become increasingly explicit, making difficult the custody of the eyes. However, it was not an intended sin for those who simply wanted to be informed by the news. It would be different if one were motivated to find visuals of scantily clothed women. This would be a sin.