Ask a Priest

5,442 Responses

confused janie, on July 18, 2015 at 5:30 pm said:

Dear Fr Joe,

I appreciate your advice to me and others. I thank God for your ministry and pray that He bless you. My questions today concern the ministry of our Lord Jesus. Did he ever encounter people who were mentally ill when He walked the earth? Did He heal them? Do the people possesed by demoniacs that Jesus healed represent the mentally ill?

I guess as a person struggling with mental illness am hoping for some encouragement.

Thanks and God bless.

FATHER JOE: We cannot know for sure. Certain exegetes suggest that some of the demoniacs, particularly when seizures were detailed, were epileptics.
Seraphim, on July 18, 2015 at 4:57 am said:

Dear Father,

Christ Is Risen!

Good day!

Father, I have a link which I am going to post below. It is the conversion story of Hierodeacon Paul Ballester-Convolier from Catholicism to Orthodoxy. I am not insinuating that the story is true, nor am I saying it is false – I simply have no idea.

My question is: IF it is true (hypothetically speaking), what would be your response?

[LINK DELETED]

Please read it and tell me what you think.

Thank you!

Yours in Christ,
Seraphim.

FATHER JOE: What would you expect? I am a Catholic priest in good standing with the Church. I think he errs grievously, not simply by his defection but by embracing a spirit of enmity against Catholicism. Indeed, he rejects the efficacy of the sacraments given the Catholic Church by Christ. I will pray for his soul.
Jessica Suede, on July 17, 2015 at 3:24 am said:

Thank you Father Joe!

I’m so blessed to have your opinion, as this situation seems to be getting out of hand.
My husband and I pray for his parents every night to the Holy Spirit for them to stop their adulterous ways (they are in their 50’s and we unfortunately know for a fact they are sexually active). In the meantime we will incorporate your advice and our prayers and good example since giving up is not really an option for us at this point. May Godbless you and this website always! It is a Godsend. 🙂

FATHER JOE: You’re welcome, but remember I am fallible. Ultimately you have to decide what is best for your family. God bless!
Jessica Suede, on July 16, 2015 at 4:53 pm said:

Hello,

I am in desperate need of your opinion. I am a married (by the Church) mother of 2 young boys.

My mother-in-law and father in law are divorced (they divorced right before I got married to their son).

Anyway, since then they have been both “dating” other people and my mother-in-law announced last Christmas that she is dating someone seriously. This past January she announced to us that he will be “moving into her house.”
Now the “boyfriend” is fully living at her house and has had no problem making himself feel at home. The problem with all of this is that she is a “Catholic” and my husband and I are devout Catholics and we serve at church on Sundays as ushers. My husband recently sat down and talked to his mother one-on-one and asked her if it would be okay for her to see him once a month without her boyfriend, just so they can have family quality time. She agreed. Fast forward 2 weeks later; she texts my husband and says she will never see him alone and she will only see him with her boyfriend. My husband is understandably upset and takes it out on me because I prefer to see my mother-in-law without her boyfriend. I think having her boyfriend around our Catholic kids would send the message that we condone divorce and divorced people dating. We want our kids to have good influences in their lives but this situation is getting bad. Should we still see her on her and her boyfriend’s terms? Or should we stick to what we believe is healthy and just raise our kids without seeing the significant others of their grandparents? My thoughts are we should only bring the kids around their grandparents and not have them around the boyfriends or girlfriends of their grandparents.

What do you believe is the Catholic thing to do in this situation? Your advice is sincerely needed. Thank you.

FATHER JOE:

I can only speak for myself in this response. Others might argue for a total break in the relationship. The more permissive might say to accept the situation and stop worrying. I could not do this.

We live in a broken world where we face many challenges to our faith. While it is impossible to spare our children from every challenge, I can certainly appreciate your concern about the bad witness given your children. What would I advise?

First, continue to practice your faith, pray as a family and share your values with the children.

Second, it is important that the children maintain a relationship with their grandparents. It is unfortunate that they do not share your moral concerns because what we are discussing here is apparently adultery. (How old are they? The elderly have sometimes cohabitated for purposes of platonic friendship.) I would suggest a delicate compromise. While they refuse to spend time with the family apart from their romantic interests, I would recommend no overnights or extended stays because of the situation. Their new partners should be addressed with a cordial respect but not with family affection. Depending upon the ages of the children it is okay to express your disapproval of such a lifestyle but I would avoid targeted judgmental labels or descriptive language that would incite anger or add to the scandal already caused. You should make clear that these companions are not additional grandparents… just “friends” of the family.

Third, has there been any action on a possible annulment and a regularization of their unions within Christian marriage? Such may not even be possible, but has it been explored?

Fourth, realize that there may be no good answer. If the grandparents demand absolute and unqualified acceptance of their love interests as members of the family (without compromise) then they are not returning the respect that you are so desperately trying to show them.
glo, on July 16, 2015 at 1:28 pm said:

Dear Fr Joe,

I have a problem with my small business. I have no customers or hardly any. To say I am frustrated is an understatement. I find that my soul is affected because I am now very envious and jealous of everyone in business and what ladies wear because that’s my business. I find that I live in a poor area where climate change demands people get fed before they buy clothes. This is my second business failure since am unable to work my career for health reasons.

I am exhausted and don’t know what to do. I am just lucky that I am housed and fed otherwise I would be hungry and homeless.

I find that I can hardly stay open due to lack of motivation.

I have no way to change the type of business.

Sorry, I know this is a long shot but your advice is always appreciated. What is your take on my situation?

God bless you.

FATHER JOE:

I am not sure what to say. I am certainly no expert on business. Maybe you are destined to work for someone else? Sales usually mean finding and exploiting a need. Why do you think your business is not working? Do people not have the liquid income? What are others doing that makes a difference?

Apart from success or failure, it is good that needs for food and shelter are satisfied. Things sometimes do not work out the way we would like in this world. Try to find peace in your faith. Jealousy and bitterness will only eat you up and hurt you. Many prayers!
Alex, on July 16, 2015 at 7:23 am said:

Hi Father Joe!

Random question. I heard a (presumably fictional) story about a man who was trapped on top of a lighthouse, and due to a storm or shipwreck or something, there were tens of thousands of hungry rats about to burrow in to the room. In the story it was quite clear that a painful and disgusting death was seconds away. My question is, how would the Church view suicide in this case? My guess is that this would be viewed as a “normal” suicide, but due to the circumstances, the gravity might be diminished substantially (ie probably not a mortal sin). But would this technically still be a sin? In other words, if the man had a cell phone and called you to ask “permission” to kill himself seconds before the rats burst in, what would you say?

Peace! And thanks for the blog, I read it often.

-Alex

FATHER JOE: I would say that you should die fighting. Fault might be mitigated by fear and pain, but suicide and euthanasia discredit the hope that we should cherish as Christians. We also honor God who is the author of life. As for what you describe, it is based on an old weekly anthology suspense/horror radio program called ESCAPE. The episode was entitle, “Three Skeleton Key” and first aired on November 15, 1949. It starred William Conrad (radio’s Matt Dillon and TV’s Cannon). The setting is a quiet old lighthouse off the coast of French Guiana. A derelict ship brings a terrorizing invasion of rats. The story was later adapted for the SUSPENSE radio program and starred the famous Vincent Price. It is a classic tale of terror!
voidval04, on July 15, 2015 at 11:33 pm said:

Hello, Im 21 years old, and throughout my whole life my mother has used God as a ¨ weapon ¨ to gain control and it worked even to this day. She has always told me that I am not blessed and God has punished me. Every since I was young I was called the devil and God will never listen to my prayers ( even when I pray now I feel its because of my disinterest in school but again my mother tells me everyday God will never let me succeed and he’s punishing me for not graduating ¨on time¨. I go through this type of abuse everyday. A priest told me like I’m praying to the walls, to blank space). Nothing good has ever happened for me. I am in college, currently a 3 semester senior and I didnt graduate on the allotted 4 year term my mother expected, I know that that its not a sin to stand up to my mother and it IS a sin to allow her abuse but why is it that God allows her to attack me everyday? Hes allowed her to break me. Im starting to feel God hates me. I even had a dream that Jesus told me he’s done with me. I try to pray soo much, novenas left and right but then he allows my mother to abuse me, and threaten to hurt me then i get discouraged and never complete them. I have a twin who has never had to work hard or pretty much pray but God has blessed her with everything. She got pregnant and had an abortion and I feel that God has even let her off the hook with that big sin. I try to do everything right, by God and everyone else but it seems like he hates me. Is there some prayer, something I can do to make him listen to me. My mother has always told me since i was young that Gods back is turned on me. All of this non support from my mother and God has made me hate myself and life, I even have this feeling that God wont bless me with the opportunity to get married or have children in the future. Is there an explanation for why God wont ever bless me? I am lost. I was always taught to turn to God but its like he turns away from me. I’m starting to think prayers dont exist, and religion is a hoax and maybe theres no God and these so called ¨blessings¨ are just a way to describe luck. I dont have any friends, my mother tells me day to day she hates me, and im filled with punishments from God.

Also, I’ve started doing the Saint Bridget 12 years novena…. I have seen some posts online about it not being legitimate, is that true? Will I obtain the promises that is stated?

FATHER JOE:

You should love your mother. But know this— your poor mother is probably the one in dark spiritual bondage. God should never be treated as a weapon to tear people down or to undermine their sacred dignity. She is very much deceived. You are blessed and God loves you. If there is a moral sickness here then it permeates the heart and mind of your mother. She is the one who has been punishing you, not God.

A person who calls upon God with faith and a sincere heart is NOT a devil but a child of God. God hears your prayers and wants you to know happiness in him. The devil loves manipulation and this is a chief imitation in his victims. Again, your mother seems to be the one with the sickness of the mind. To say that God would never listen to your prayers is straight from the devil and into her mouth. Pray earnestly for her because it sounds like she is under a terrible demonic spiritual oppression.

God wants you to succeed in life and to be faithful to him. Again, know that God has not hexed or cursed you. However, your mother has wished evil upon you and such can be a source of depression, despair and deadly enslavement. Do not allow yourself to be placed in bondage. It is in Christ where we find our freedom.

You are correct that such treatment is abuse and you should rebuke her and pray that she might know deliverance from demons. We suffer when we encounter evil in this world, particularly when it is discerned in family members. The priest who spoke to you is right; it is no sin to stand up against your mother. Accepting her abuse kills your soul or strips it of the gift of hope. Do not allow this to happen anymore. God does not hate you. God loves you. Say it and believe it!

If she breaks you then you let her do it… do not let her! God has blessed you. You have your life, opportunities to learn and grow, and you have faith in the Lord. Grow closer to the Lord and his Church. Think and pray about all the poor souls aborted by mothers who should love them. Become a defender of life. Many children are physically and sexually abused. Pray for them. The verbal abuse you suffer is spiritual and mental. Add your suffering to the Cross and prove her wrong. I would urge involvement with Church life and ministry. You could also help the poor. Thinking about the needs of others sometimes helps us not to feel sorry for ourselves. If you are old enough and/or have places to go, I would suggest distancing yourself from your mother and letting her know why. Her negativity will drive you apart. Let her know that she will have to face God and his judgment for her sins against hope in your life.

The prayers purportedly from St. Bridget are wonderful and they helped me through my early days in seminary. I felt that I was under daily demonic bombardment. The prayers gave me a sense of peace and helped me to meditate upon Christ’s sacrifice and its power over sin and death. Keep praying them. Imagine what she describes. The promises never meant as much to me as the graces that came from these prayers.
Jerome, on July 15, 2015 at 11:22 pm said:

Dear Father,
I have been suffering from pornography addiction for 8 years already. And I still receive communion. Is that sacrilegious?

FATHER JOE: Receiving the Eucharist when in serious sin is indeed a problem. Pornography is often associated with masturbation. It also constitutes what might sometimes be termed as a virtual prostitution or adultery. It reduces the human person to an object or commodity. It undermines human dignity. You should do what you can to wean yourself from it. Keep bad literature out of your house. Do not subscribe to TV channels that prove too great a temptation for you. If you live with others, place the computer in a communal room and add software to block pornography. Go to Confession regularly and having received absolution, live the sacramental life.
Simon, on July 15, 2015 at 4:51 pm said:

Hello Father!
Is it immoral or sin to sleep side-by-side with my girlfriend without engaging into any physical activity?
Thank you, Father!

FATHER JOE: How old are you? Yes, because you are needlessly placing the two of you into the “near occasion of sin.” You are playing with fire and will likely get burned. You are also threatening her good name and reputation.
Diana Strauss, on July 15, 2015 at 6:40 am said:

Thank you
glo, on July 14, 2015 at 7:31 pm said:

Dear Fr Joe,
How many times a day am i allowed to recieve Holy Communion? This saturday i will attend mass at 7am and join in to celebrate a thanksgiving mass at 10am.
Am not sure if to recieve Jesus at both masses or only one mass.
Thanks and God bless you.

FATHER JOE: The general rule was once, but when it came to varying celebrations, the discipline would now allow twice. However, there should be some distinction between ceremonies… like a daily Mass and a votive liturgy, as with a wedding or funeral. I suspect a special Mass of thanksgiving would also apply.
confused janie, on July 14, 2015 at 6:56 pm said:

Dear Fr Joe,
Belated Congratulations on your priestly anniversary almost a month ago. May God bless you always.
My question concerns what your advice would be to bring back family members who have fallen away to a life of grace in the church and along with them uncatechised children without nagging.

FATHER JOE: If I knew then I would be a far more successful priest. Pray for them and continue to give good witness in living your faith… with a little nagging (on the side) from time to time.
chinonye, on July 14, 2015 at 2:49 pm said:

Hello Father
Remember when I said I was seeking a spiritual director? I have found a priest whom I could ask but I decided to put it into prayer. How do I know that God has given me a go-ahead to ask him? Will I feel it within me or what? Left to me I would go and ask him right away but I want to be sure he’s the one God has picked for me. Thanks

FATHER JOE: It is enough that he is a priest. Ask him.
Diana Strauss, on July 14, 2015 at 5:27 am said:

While you’re on the subject of confession, I would like to ask a question that you’ve probably heard many times in your 29 years as a priest. I looked on your blog, but I couldn’t find any reference to it.

I’m not criticizing your Sacrament, just trying to understand how it works.

Your Seal of Confession is inviolate. From what I’ve read Catholic priests have always kept this, sometimes at great self-sacrifice.

What happens if John comes in to Confession and tells you he plans to murder Paul? Or that he already has and the wrong person has been arrested for the crime? Or a woman comes in and tells you she is pregnant with a child not her husbands’?

I’m sure these are situations every priest hopes he will never get into, but what if he does? Is there no way the Church allows the priest who hears this in confession to make use of the information to protect the innocent people involved? Or must he just hope and pray that G-d will somehow resolve the problem?

Thank you,

D. Strauss

FATHER JOE: After a few short years there is no sin or evil that surprises a priest confessor. What does the priest do? He keeps the seal… without exception… without compromise… trusting in silence the providence of God.
Simon, on July 13, 2015 at 9:22 am said:

Hello, Father!
I have few questions about Confession. This weekend I was on a trip and went to the mass in another town. I went to the confession but priest gave me no penance but gave me absolution.
1) Is giving penance during the confession required
2) If I still prayed my “regular penance” is confession still valid.
Thank you, Father!

FATHER JOE: The priest was probably distracted and forgot. Yes, say your regular penance and know that the absolution was valid.
Seraphim, on July 12, 2015 at 3:01 am said:

Dear Father, Christ Is Risen!

This question that I am going to ask is a bit serious. I must first declare that I have no hostile intentions whatsoever; I have not come here to “pick a fight”, so to speak. I have come as a humble seeker of Truth, and was hoping you could help me along the way.

The question is regarding Eastern Orthodoxy.

Some Eastern Orthodox theologians argue that post-schism Orthodox saints are far, far superior to post-schism Catholic (whom they call “Papist”) saints. How would you answer to these serious allegations?

FATHER JOE: I have never heard the argument. Is it about the manner in which saints are canonized? I suspect if papal authority is rejected then they might have little regard for our saints. But saints are saints and those in heaven praise God and intercede for the living. I would think that is sufficient.

St Francis of Assisi is a widely respected Catholic saint. Even some Protestants revere him deeply. However this Orthodox website thinks differently as it compares St Francis to the Russian Orthodox St Seraphim of Sarov:

http://orthodoxinfo.com/praxis/francis_sarov.aspx

Could you please check that website out and tell me what you think? I would be most grateful. It would be interesting to hear a Catholic rebuttal on this issue.

FATHER JOE:

As far as I can tell the website has no official standing with Orthodoxy. There are a number of purportedly Catholic sites that make claims Roman Catholicism would not confirm either. It should be said that we would agree that the stigmata is no definite sign of perfect holiness. However, St. Francis was declared a saint for the marvelous way that God used him and filled him with his Holy Spirit. Indeed, rebuilding or healing the Church was part of his mission.

By contrast, the website author writes: “The sad fact is that the attainment of a true spiritual relationship with Christ was never a possibility for Francis, for being outside the Church of Christ, it was impossible that he could have received Divine Grace, or any of the gifts of the Holy Spirit. His gifts were from another spirit.” The author of the website castigates the ecclesial identity Catholicism, the holiness of her members and the efficacy of her sacraments. We would not do such a sinful thing in regard to our Orthodox brothers and sisters. Indeed, his charge against St. Francis constitutes the deadly sin of blaspheming against the Holy Spirit.

Again, I must say that I come in peace, with no hostile intentions. I have full respect for the Catholic Church. I do realize that Roman Catholics may take offense at such questions. But that is not my intention. I am merely trying to see which of the two Churches (Catholic or Orthodox) is the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church, and I was hoping you could guide me along the way.

Thank you.
Yours in Christ,
Seraphim.

FATHER JOE:

Catholicism speaks of itself as the one true Church and that there is nothing lacking that we need for salvation. Catholicism has proven itself a worldwide religion. Orthodox churches have a tendency toward the nationalistic; however, we acknowledge their sacraments. In other words, we view the Orthodox churches as true churches. We do not regard either the Anglicans or other Protestant ecclesial communities as such. The churches of the East have maintained a true priesthood and a genuine Eucharist. Thus, while traditions vary, we see them as special kindred brothers and sisters. They may view the Pope as merely the patriarch of the West and the first among equals; but they also have their roots (with us) in the early Church. I know there is some challenge among the Orthodox churches in regards to pressure and manipulation from Eastern governments (fortunately old KGB clergy are dying off), continued existence in lands with large Moslem populations, and the Protestant influence with the Eastern diaspora churches in the West.

Catholicism also faces challenges, particularly as the world becomes increasingly hostile to the Christian faith. We should be properly discerning and acknowledging our common faith in Christ and how the Spirit of God gifts us. We should be working together in truth and respect so as to witness to a fallen world. Fighting among ourselves is the work of the evil one.

May the good Lord continue to bless and keep you.
Liz, on July 11, 2015 at 7:38 pm said:

How do I focus on Jesus? what does that
Mean? Do I think about him all day or feel him all day?

FATHER JOE: It means that Jesus becomes the center of your life as a Christian. Your words and actions express a harmony with the Gospel. We grow in knowing and loving the Lord: studying his Word, faithful to prayer, worship with the believing community, and living the obedient life of charity.
chinonye, on July 11, 2015 at 5:52 am said:

Thanks Father for being so understanding and helpful to me in times of doubt. God bless!
Seraphim, on July 11, 2015 at 5:42 am said:

Dear Father,

Christ Is Risen!

I was wondering if it would be right to use second hand prayer books. How can I be sure that the book has not been ill-treated or desecrated?

Thank you.

Yours in Christ,
Seraphim.

FATHER JOE: Old prayer books are like old friends. Those that show the ravages of age, neglect and misuse are like martyrs that have suffered for the faith. I would not be afraid to use them.
confused janie, on July 10, 2015 at 6:00 pm said:

Dear Fr Joe,
At mass we read the responsorial Psalm then we have a response. Is the response also from the Psalms or from other parts of scripture?
Do different church seasons determine the response? Is the weekday format different from Sunday?
I assumed all along that the response was a part of the Psalm read.
I look forward to your reply.
God bless you.
NB;Forgive my use of alaises(sp)

FATHER JOE: There are seasonal readings and votive readings for saints. The Sunday cycle of readings is A, B and C. Weekday Masses follow a 2 year cycle, 1 and 2.
imani, on July 10, 2015 at 1:17 pm said:

Dear Fr Joe,
I hope you are fine. I have a situation that troubles me. I believe that God was calling and sometimes is still calling me to religious life. This said I just have events that happened that prevented me from saying yes to the call. Now i have physical and mental problems and am approaching mid life so maybe that life is not possible.
I feel confused really about why God who foresees the future would put this desires in my heart until today. I feel like i failed God.
Anyway i would appreciate your views on this situation.
Thanks and God bless you.

FATHER JOE: There are a few communities that take older men and women. However, God may merely be calling you to more fully live out your baptismal calling. God calls but sometimes we do not hear because we are distracted. But in any case, walk with the Lord. Say your prayers. Be at peace with God.
John G., on July 10, 2015 at 12:50 am said:

Dear Father Jenkins,

I need your help desperately with a moral dilemma.

I write books on school reform matters and have a large international following.

I have recently become quite alarmed to discover that there have been incidents coast to coast in public schools of an aggressive homosexual agenda being taught in classrooms.

The extent of this in Chicago elementary schools is that 4th graders are to consider anal sex with female condoms as a good form of sexual release. And visual illustrations are provided.

Personally, I hold no hatred against homosexuals, although for other reasons I oppose the practice.

But I am violently opposed to forcing schools to become a vehicle to imposing this doctrine upon children.

So I have written to raise opposition and even to share my misgivings about this agenda.

My dilemma is that the bible seems clearly opposed to sodomy, etc. while urging a priority on forgiveness.

I feel strong misgivings against those imposing these beliefs on children, but my question is should I also forgive, and try to love them?

Please reply,

Thanks, love, John G.

FATHER JOE: We should struggle for what is right while continuing to witness to Christ’s love and mercy.
chinonye, on July 9, 2015 at 10:03 pm said:

Hello Father
I just did something and now I’m wondering if I went too far. There’s this page on facebook that shows pictures of models advertising female underclothing. I usually avoid it thinking it might be sinful to look. But today I decided to look at the underclothing in an attempt to rid myself of my scruples. Did I go too far? Thanks.

FATHER JOE: I can think of no good reason why underwear should be displayed on Facebook unless you are buying. Did you go too far? It evidently did not work because you are still thinking about it. Just lighten up. Share God’s love and find joy in living.
Robin Abahazie, on July 8, 2015 at 8:22 pm said:

I need help I have evil black shadows in my house and I think I have one attached to me I need help fast please in the name of Jesus christ help me

FATHER JOE: Evil black shadows? Are you serious? Say your prayers, go to church, and live out your Christian discipleship. If you want a priest to bless your home then talk to your local pastor. But remember, homes are truly blessed by the graces of holy people who live there. When you make room for Christ, nothing of darkness wants to abide there.
Pat, on July 7, 2015 at 7:19 pm said:

Dear Father Joe,

I have a question regarding holding true to one’s faith while also respecting other faiths. The Catechism of the Catholic Church indicates the Catholic Church is the “one, holy, catholic, and apostolic church.” How can one make that statement while also respecting other Christian denominations? Can that statement be compatible with an ecumenical point of view? I know these are the four marks of the true Church, but the thing I really want to know is how it is possible to make this statement while still respecting other denominations.

The reason why I’m writing this is that I know someone who called a Catholic priest a bigot and anti-echumenical for saying that the Catholic Church is the one true church. What do you think?

Thank you,
Pat

FATHER JOE: Respect is distinct from the sin of religious indifferentism. It would make no sense to say that one religion is as good as another given that they teach different things and that they cannot all be true. Genuine ecumenism means a respect for the freedom of conscience and religious liberty. We acknowledge that other denominations possess certain objective truths, albeit incompletely and intertwined with error. We can also work with others, Christians, non-Christians and even non-theists in seeking a more justly ordered society where charity, peace and brotherhood reigns. I also believe that the Catholic Church signifies true religion and is the house directly instituted by Christ who is Savior and God. What would the critic expect us to say? Imagine the silliness if a priest said, “I don’t think my church is genuine and that I doubt we can be certain of anything.” The ones who accused the priest of bigotry are the ones truly prejudiced… albeit against Catholics and good sense.