Ask a Priest

5,442 Responses

Hayden, on December 23, 2014 at 7:53 pm said:

So- “Holy hell” is a sin?

FATHER JOE: It could be… it would probably depend on how it is used. The expression, “when hell freezes over” is another example of hell as a colloquial. There is a difference between literary devices and flippant or irreverent remarks. There is a subjective quality.
Hayden, on December 23, 2014 at 7:37 pm said:

Hello

I was in a play where I was a priest. Was it wrong to have on a white collar, even though it was just a costume?

FATHER JOE: Actors can play being a priest. It is okay… although it should be respectful.
Hayden, on December 23, 2014 at 7:34 pm said:

Hi,
Is saying “Holy hell” a sin?

Thank you!

FATHER JOE: It seems more silly than anything else. There is nothing holy about hell. That is the linguistic point… the absurdity.
Jason, on December 22, 2014 at 8:03 pm said:

Good day Father,

Today at the office a group of us were talking about what we planned on doing after we retire (we’re in the military so retiring at a young age isn’t impossible) One of my friends stated that he was going to join the Capuchins Franciscan when he retired. He’s a very devout Catholic, so I could see him doing that, but my question is what would happen to his retirement pay and medical benefits if he were to join them. It is my understanding that you have to take an oath of poverty when you joint the OFM CAPs. Would he have to give all that up? Would they require that he give it to them? I’m just worried that he may waste 20 years of service. Thank you!!

FATHER JOE: If God is calling him to a religious vocation, nothing is wasted. He has everything to gain. Communities will usually make a concession for men to keep medical benefits as they are not transferrable. He would have to divest himself of worldly goods as the community embraces the vow of poverty. Retirement pensions and earned social security can still be paid out to the man but they are signed over to the community. They own everything in common.
Tony, on December 22, 2014 at 7:39 pm said:

Is it am offense against priests to wear the roman collar? Is it mocking? Is it offensive to God? God Bless, hope to hear from you soon Fr.

FATHER JOE: The religious collar is a sign of priesthood and being a cleric. Men who wear it without being a priest or cleric commit a deception. They seek the deference that others give to priests even though they are not entitled to it. Often men who fraudulently wear the clerical collar are involved with scams for Mass stipends, as happened in DC with a fake priest when the Air Florida plane crashed into the Potomac back in the 1980’s.
Tony, on December 22, 2014 at 3:44 pm said:

Hello Fr. I am in high school and I have a love for the Catholic Priesthhod and have been praying over my vocation. Is it wrong to wear a Roman Priest Collar when someone is not a priest yet. They just do it for the love they have god God. Please Answer me soon!

FATHER JOE: Unless you are in seminary, studying to be a priest or already a priest then YES it is wrong to wear the clerical shirt and collar. Indeed, in some countries, like Italy, it is a criminal offense. It is reserved to the clergy.
sheree, on December 21, 2014 at 1:08 am said:

I wasn’t happy at my Baptism when the priest called Mary “a queen in heaven.” I replied to him that she is not— it does not state this in the Bible.

FATHER JOE: Actually, the Bible implies that Mary is a queen because of her intimate association with her Son. Jesus has a two-fold crown— the throne of David as the promised Messiah and his divine kingship. Just as Jesus is both God and man, so two are these two kingships joined in him. All the parables speak of the kingdom and its values. Indeed, even Pilate places the inscription above the Cross, “Jesus, King of the Jews.” Royalty comes from royalty. St. Joseph was of the tribe of David. The Jews married within their tribe and so Mary was also a descendant of King David. As the Mother of Christ, she is the mother of the whole identity of her Son. This protects both Christ’s divine identity and the unity of the incarnation. If Jesus is King then necessarily Mary is the Queen Mother. Further, in baptism, we are made adopted sons and daughters of God the Father. In other words, we too become members of the royal household of God. Mary is also a figure or type for the Church. This is important in reference to Revelation 12:1-5: “A great sign appeared in the sky, a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet, and on her head a crown of twelve stars. She was with child and wailed aloud in pain as she labored to give birth. Then another sign appeared in the sky; it was a huge red dragon, with seven heads and ten horns, and on its heads were seven diadems. Its tail swept away a third of the stars in the sky and hurled them down to the earth. Then the dragon stood before the woman about to give birth, to devour her child when she gave birth. She gave birth to a son, a male child, destined to rule all the nations with an iron rod. Her child was caught up to God and his throne.”

Today I went for my First Confession. The priest did not guide me. I had a piece of paper [but still] missed half of the words.

FATHER JOE: You should put the rite and the prayers to memory.

Today was my first Holy Communion. He gave me the bread. He was not the one to offer me the chalice of wine (Jesus’ blood). I did not say “in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.”

FATHER JOE: This post is beginning to stretch credulity. Adults receive Baptism, Confirmation and First Communion at one-time, at the same. They would only receive First Penance later as Baptism forgives all sins. I am beginning to think this comment is a canard. You also seem very ignorant of what you claim to receive. We do not receive bread and wine in Holy Communion. We partake of the body and blood of Christ. Further, the response to the words “the Body of Christ” is “Amen.” Signing oneself in the Trinity is an element of personal piety.

I was upset when I got home. I reflected on what this means in the Bible. I told Jesus I was sorry.
It is God that invites us into his family.

I took the bread, ate it then sat down.

Two people drank the wine before me and then I drank it.

I’m upset l didn’t say, “In the name of the Father and the Holy Spirit.

I’m disgusted in the Church and put off on Confession.

I could see him spitting at me but no spit was on me.

l believe he has a poltergeist.

In him I love God and Jesus.

I said to Jesus and God how sorry I was.

I know l should have said, “In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.”

I don’t want to go back to Church.

I just want my bible.

Should l be baptized and take Holy Communion again and the Eucharist? Please help.

FATHER JOE:

It is obvious at this point that something is seriously awry with the comment. There is either grievous ignorance or a deliberate effort to deceive. Unless one is in a Neo-catechumenal community, the posture for Holy Communion is standing but not sitting to drink from the chalice. Next you claim a ghost was spitting at you. This is all quite bizarre.

As a corrective— we can only be baptized and confirmed once. As for the Eucharist, one needs to be disposed and prepared for the sacrament. I will pray for you.
Ignorance is bliss which I am not..., on December 20, 2014 at 3:19 am said:

Hey, I’ve been a Christian all my life but my faith grows ever weaker by the hour, the minute and the second. This has been going on for quite some time now… 15 years to be rough. It started with me beginning to wonder and, ah ignorance is indeed bliss, but then I dismissed it thinking nothing of it. But then it grew and I began to get even more questioning and eventually ranting when I am alone. Now my faith, if you can call it that, is but a trickle… a mere drop by drop. And it was fueled, oh yes it was. All I wanted was for “God” to talk to me face to face… be it a vision or Morgan Freeman. Well where is this God now? Why has he not helped this corrupted and stained world? He leveled Sodom and Gamora a$$es out on the ground why will he not help this world now? His “missionaries” aren’t doing any EFFECTIVE work. I am displeased now tell me… why should I give this invisible man in the sky another chance and where is his proof that he even exist? Do YOU yourselves even know he exist do YOU not DOUBT yourself inside? Does it not GNAW at you like a worm in an apple? Everyone else follows him like a LAPDOG but not me oh no I require facts and evidence to believe in anything. Amuse me….

FATHER JOE:

First, there are various rational proofs for the existence of God, especially in regard to contingency. They would help us to discern his existence, indeed as the source for all that is and the perfections that we know only in a measured way. Second, there is supernatural faith in the Trinity which comes through divine revelation and as a gift from the Holy Spirit to properly disposed souls. You may not have the intellectual background or openness to discern the Greatest Good or Unmoved Mover. You may not be receptive to the gift of faith that requires a receptive heart as witnessed by the “handmaid” of Nazareth who received the Word and gave it birth. You call it being a “lapdog” but without humility one can neither be a friend of God nor know his will in one’s life.

Christ has conquered sin and death but they have yet to be undone. Suffering, sin and death entered the world through sin. We have in Christ one who is in solidarity with us through his Paschal Mystery. He dies that we might live. He makes himself the victim of sin so that we might be forgiven.

Jesus tells us to take up our crosses and follow him. You would throw the cross down and complain about a world broken by your sins and the sins of others. This makes you part of the problem.

Read the Scriptures in a prayerful way. Worship God in Church. If you are Catholic, return to the sacraments. When you pray stop talking so much and begin to listen. I suspect you fail to hear God’s voice because you your ears are closed and you wag your tongue too much.

I know this sounds harsh but your post come across as a weak dare. Give faith a chance before humiliating yourself on the Internet. I will be praying for you.
Zach, on December 19, 2014 at 1:33 am said:

I was wondering if everyone got their own personal heaven— if you get to live the perfect life you always wanted.

I am not asking this because of greed or wanting materialistic things.

I am asking this because I grew up in a bad place and never had a good family life. Everything good I ever had was taken away from me.

I am not bothered about mansions and money, just a real family and real friends and being able to live how I always wanted. Thanks!

FATHER JOE:

I can only give you the Catholic response and that is NO, there is no such thing as a “personal” heaven. Heaven is not a subjective reality or a place of illusions. The afterlife is objectively real. The defining elements of heaven are these: (1) the beatific vision and union with God; (2) a share in eternal life where there is no more suffering, sickness, sin or death; (3) the communion of the saints where we will be reunited with loved ones; and (4) the main preoccupation of heaven is giving God adoration or glory forever.
Heaven is where we live as members of the family of God in perfect happiness.

Of course, if we should die in mortal sin and hatred of God, there is also the prospect of hell. The damned know eternal frustration, enmity with God and fire. Aim for heaven!
trollololdemort, on December 17, 2014 at 9:17 pm said:

God does not exist. Why in the world is anyone beliveing things that isnt real. No gods exists. And if they did they would never let me write this. They would apear to tell me the truth but they wont cus they dont exist.

FATHER JOE: That is supposed to be a proof? Pleeeease! Christians believe that God is real and that they have a genuine faith relationship with Jesus Christ. We believe there is one God and that he has within himself all perfections. God would permit you to dissent because you are a creature and know both sin and weakness. You cannot define your own existence. Indeed, I find it strange that you do not better appreciate your utter contingency. Nevertheless, as a fallible creature you would make an infallible statement against a God you do not know. God has revealed himself in creation and in revelation. Many have reasoned to his existence. I fail to see how in any honest logic a scoffer can claim anything more than a form of agnosticism.
stan, on December 17, 2014 at 4:20 pm said:

Hello

I participated in the sacrament of reconciliation over the past weekend in preparing for the coming of our Lord and Savior.

During the time with the priest in the confessional, he asked me a question about my prayer life,. I was kind of caught off guard. I responded as part of my answer “I pray the rosary every day “

After I left the confessional during the next hour, I realized that I should have responded to his question as
“I pray the rosary on my way to work ”
However, I do not work every day (off Sat / Sun / Holidays)

With what I said..
“I pray the rosary every day..”
Compared to what I should have said
“I pray the rosary on my way to work ”

So the question is,
Would saying “I pray the rosary every day be considered lying ?
I would not intentionally lie in a confessional …

I want to have a clear mind and be free of sin as I prepare for the birth of Christ and was wondering if I need to return to confession for this slip on my part.

FATHER JOE: You admit that there was no intention to deceive. Therefore you made a good Confession. I would not be scrupulous about it.
Rikki, on December 17, 2014 at 3:05 pm said:

Hello 🙂

In different houses that I’ve lived in, I’ve gotten knocking at my door or window (even on a high up floor) during the early morning hours.

Last night I was awoken by knocks from my door knocker between :430 or 4:50am (not sure exactly cause I was so sleepy. When this happens…I normally get up to look through the door to see but no one is ever there. Last night I did not go check because I was so tired and im 6 months pregnant and its hard to get out of the bed.

I cant seem to find anything on the subject other than death knocking at my door.

There is a bit more background that i can provide if necessary. Feel free to contact me if need be. Please help.

Thank you 🙂

FATHER JOE: I would place no great significance in it. The suggestion that it is “death knocking at the door” is just empty superstition. There are all sorts of natural explanations possible. It may just be an element of dreaming or your waking from sleep. Do not fret abut it. Take care of yourself and your child. God bless!
Diana Strauss, on December 16, 2014 at 9:28 pm said:

Okay, I misunderstood you. Thank you for taking the time to explain. Much appreciated. D. Strauss
chinonye, on December 16, 2014 at 8:14 am said:

Hello Father,
What is your concept of spiritual pride? Sometimes I feel I misunderstand the whole thing because when I feel happy that I endured some form of suffering for Christ or did some work of charity, I try to suppress the happy feelings that result for fear of being proud that it was my doing and not God’s grace that helped me do it. How do I recognise what spiritual pride is and how do I avoid it? Thanks.

FATHER JOE: I am not sure what you mean. Pride can show itself as a kind of presumption. Presumption would be a sin. We cannot save ourselves.
Diana Strauss, on December 15, 2014 at 8:55 pm said:

In regard to your comment “Even the Jews worship the same God, albeit with a natural and not a supernatural faith in the Trinity.” Jews don’t have any faith at all in the Trinity. We believe in one G-d who has no parts or additions, son, holy spirit, etc.

FATHER JOE: You misread the sentence. I know full well how Jews interpret monotheism. Catholicism acknowledges that the Jews have faith in the one true God. However, this is judged as a “natural” faith. It is precisely because the Trinity is rejected that neither Judaism nor Islam is doctrinally discerned as a “supernatural” faith. Even philosophers can reason to the existence of one true God. However, the Trinity (which is the core Christian truth) can only be known by a particular revelation from God. The Catholic definition, shared with most Protestant denominations, is that God has one divine nature but is three divine Persons: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. The only qualification is the incarnation wherein the Second Person of the Blessed Trinity becomes a man. Thus Christ has both a divine and a human nature, but he is a divine Person (not a human Person). His human nature is complete with a body and soul. Peace!
Ana, on December 15, 2014 at 12:17 am said:

Dear Father,

Thanks for the prayers; my friend and I got our keys to our new apartment on the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe. It was funny; I tried so hard to get them sooner, but I think Mary wanted it to be ‘her’ gift if that makes sense. It makes me happy to consider anyways; it makes me feel Mother’s looking after me with her saintly spouse ^_^

-Ana
Diana Strauss, on December 14, 2014 at 9:21 pm said:

Jews do not require a Catholic to convert to marry a Jew. We DO NOT pursue converts and a conversion for the sake of marriage is no conversion. While we do occasionally accept converts, the process is a long and difficult one. The only reason to convert is because someone fully accepts the Jewish religion and all it’s laws. Better to forget your Jewish girlfriend and find a Catholic for yourself.

FATHER JOE: My experience has been otherwise, there is pressure for conversion in cases of marriage. Catholics would not insist upon conversion but Catholics must be married before a priest or deacon in a church (unless there is a dispensation from canonical form). The Jewish religion would not recognize a church wedding for a Jew. The Catholic Church might give permission for a marriage by a rabbi in a neutral location (with a priest merely present); however, I only know one rabbi in the Washington area who would even officiate at such services. But notice what Strauss writes, “Better to forget your Jewish girlfriend and find a Catholic for yourself.” Despite what she says, she seems to recognize inherent difficulties. Note also that there are all sorts of Jewish communities. Most of those I knew in DC were very conservative or Orthodox. That is a far cry from the reformed. The only rabbi who would work with us was a professor at Georgetown University.
chinonye, on December 14, 2014 at 3:55 pm said:

Hello Father,I was just reading about Jesus’s revelations to St Benigna Consolata Betrone and was touched at the mercy of Jesus towards us his creatures. How can Jesus love us so much?
lisa, on December 13, 2014 at 4:16 pm said:

Father, is it a sin to study the religious works of other faiths? Academically, I mean. Not as though I am studying them for spiritual reasons. I am thinking of taking a comparative religions class to supplement by my research in medieval history. The class examines the culture and ethics of the Abrahamic religions.

FATHER JOE: The laws of the Church currently allow the study of comparative religion.
joshua mccofferty, on December 13, 2014 at 1:27 pm said:

can I know now if I am going to heaven or purgatory or hell when I die

FATHER JOE:

If you have a faith in Christ that is measured by obedience and charity then you can live in the sure and certain hope of salvation. Souls in purgatory are on their way to heaven. Some saints go straight to heaven, but I suspect the unsure are not among them.

As for the damned, it signifies a failure to truly love. The damned hate God. Remember, as Cardinal McCarrick frequently said, “Charity covers a multitude of sins.”
chinonye, on December 13, 2014 at 9:47 am said:

Hello Father,
I gave the money to a classmate of mine struggling to pay his law school fees because I felt he needed it urgently at that particular time. I felt my neighbour can talk to my dad about the money. She said she needed the money to pay a debt for a fridge she bought.
Its a loan but I’m unable to give it to her since I ve given it to this classmate of mine, and I don’t want to withdraw that same amount and give to her. I don’t know if you understand what I mean.

FATHER JOE: Well that settles it… you are not obliged to pay for another’s fridge.
chinonye, on December 12, 2014 at 8:14 pm said:

Hello Father

Recently I promised to loan a neighbour of mine some amount of money, but then a friend of mine whom I felt was urgently in need of that exact amount expressed to me his dilemma so i gave him the money.

Why I gave the boy the money was because when my neighbour asked, I just said yes immediately without giving it much thought. Also my instinct told me that she was afraid of going through my dad and chose me, the younger person. Why I say this is because she said my dad is always busy and I’m like why cant she tell him about it, like on a sunday when he’s at home? Now I have to pay my law school fees, and redeem a pledge I made in church. I no longer feel like lending her the money, and I’m planning on telling her that I acted on the spur of the moment without thinking things through.

Please what should I do? Thanks.

FATHER JOE: What you say comes across as somewhat convoluted (he) / (she)? It sounds like you promised money you did not have. Explain that you have your own bills and it is probably best that your friend appeal to family. But did you already give away the money? Be sensible with your limited resources. Left unsaid was what they wanted with the money… this could be very important. Did they waste money they previously had? Is the money a loan or outright gift?
Sarah B, on December 12, 2014 at 7:04 pm said:

Hello,

I was wondering if you could depict a typical work day of a Catholic Priest for me. I am doing a case study of sorts on a pt whom is a Catholic Priest and unfortunately he was discharged before I had the chance to ask him specifics about his daily routine. I think this would add a lot to me presentation. I know all jobs differ but just an idea would be so helpful

Thank you!

FATHER JOE:

1. Wake up and say Morning Prayers and the Liturgy of the Readings.

2. Bathroom tasks and getting dressed.

3. Morning Mass.

4. Breakfast.

5. Sermon Writing & Office Tasks.

6. Sometimes School Mass or Nursing Home visitation.

7. Lunch.

8. Breviary Prayers for during the day.

9. Sick calls.

10. Meditation.

11. Evening Prayer.

12. Supper.

13. Appointments & Sometimes Meetings (RCIA, Bible Study, etc.)

14. Reading.

15. Compline Prayer and Rosary.

16. Time for bed.

Unscheduled would be emergencies and special hospital calls.
Sean, on December 12, 2014 at 2:46 pm said:

G’Day, Fr. Joe … just came this way and from what I have seen thus far, enjoy. Thank you.
hector, on December 12, 2014 at 5:50 am said:

many years ago I baptized a child under the Catholic religion and many many many years later that child turned Christian and got baptized under the Christian religion. My question is do I still continue being a godfather to this child when she was Catholic or am I no longer a god parent to the child since she got baptized under Christian religion?. Thank you.

FATHER JOE: Once baptized, always baptized. The second baptism might be a repudiation of Catholicism but it is not a true baptism. Yes, if you were a godparent at a Catholic baptism then you will always be a godparent, even if the spiritual bond is strained.