Ask a Priest

5,442 Responses

saijanai, on December 10, 2014 at 7:28 pm said:

So what is your take on Father Gabriel Mejia being an active TM teacher and teaching Transcendental Meditation to the children in his orphanages as a form of therapy for PTSD?

http://www.claret.org/en/news/03-01-2010/gabriel-mejia-cmf-archbishop-romero-prize-2008

FATHER JOE: The priest has established 47 shelters for children in Columbia… for children deemed disposable. I suspect what he means by TM is something different from practitioners here at home. Note he said in the video that it does not replace Communion (Eucharist). I would emphasize that he says his breviary, offers daily Mass, hears Confessions and cares for children that no one else wants. Not knowing much more about him than that, this is where I would leave it. None of us are perfect and we can all be challenged… however, challenge this man and you had better be prepared to take up the slack and do as much as he does for the children.
Bevan Holloway, on December 10, 2014 at 7:29 am said:

Father Joe, I was baptized as a baby in 1973 by a Monsignor, in Las Vegas NV. I was only a few months old. My mom took me to church when I was young. but we moved to California and she stooped going. What would I have to do to get back in to the church? also would there be any records of The baptizem that I could get? And if so where? I do thank you for your time

FATHER JOE: The records are kept at the church of baptism. You can contact the diocese or the local church(s) in Las Vegas to have them review the records. They can send out a new certificate. Did you receive penance, holy communion and confirmation? If not then you will need a certificate and instructions. If you have all these sacraments then you only need to go to Confession and register. Peace!
Maria, on December 9, 2014 at 10:12 am said:

Dear Father,

I am torn apart and cannot sleep at night. Please help!

I just got married this past July from an amazing loving husband. He is everything I ever wanted, sweet, funny, warm, educated and loves God. I have treasured every second with him and cannot wait to spend every remaining breath I have with him. I have plans to start expanding our family very soon.

My husband is very dedicated to God and he was unsure before our wedding if wants to be a priest or even a monk. Recently, he felt the urge to follow God and start taking liturgy classes to become a priest. My husband has his doctorate in Immunology and has been studying since age 4. He is 36 now. He wants me to support his decision and be by his side but I am crushed and confused because I don’t think I can. I love God, I try to be the best person I can be everyday. I am a dentist and I treat everyone as children of God and I do a lot of charity work. That being said, I cannot see myself as the wife of a priest. I know I have sins and I am not perfect. I love life, adventures, cruises, hicking, just enjoying what God gave us without harming anyone. I also love fashion, shopping, make up and music. I feel when my husband becomes a priest, I will loose my identity and become someone I am not or even do not want to be! I am not sure if I can give up all the small materialistic stuff that make me happy.

We are bonded together to eternity and I do not believe in divorce. I felt when he married me, he made a promise to be a lawful husband and father to our children and live a normal life, thanking and cherishing God in our daily actions.

Please help and advise what I should do. Thank you.

FATHER JOE:

I take it that you are not Roman Catholic because all our priests must be unmarried and celibate. Are you Eastern rite… Maronite? The new directives from Rome will allow Eastern rite married men of the diaspora to study and become priests. It will still take years. This is a decision that affects the family and which must be made together. I know the Eastern rites will probably not ordain a man if his wife objects. You are correct that it would change your lives. He will be sent to an assignment by his bishop. His income will be limited. His days will not belong to him but to the people he serves. I would recommend blunt honesty with him. He cannot make this decision apart from you. Tell him how you feel. Given that you are bonded for life, he can make no decision for ministry apart from you. This discernment process must add you to the equation. His primary responsibility is to you. You are married and it is time to build a family. That should be his primary focus. If you feel you can share him with God and the priesthood, then that is fine. However, if you ardently disagree with this direction for your lives then it is best to say something now and put a stop or delay to it. I will keep you both in prayer. Peace!
B, on December 9, 2014 at 3:23 am said:

Father,

For the last three weeks or so, I have been moved to tears during mass, and have felt the compulsion to cry almost the entire service. Is there an official church teaching on what this might mean?

B

FATHER JOE: There is no teaching about this. You must look in yourself for the cause.
John, on December 9, 2014 at 2:30 am said:

Why do we ask to be healed before receiving Communion? Is this only for venial sins?

FATHER JOE: The prayers throughout the Mass are effective against venial sins. Even a mortal sin might be mitigated by a good act of contrition and sorrow for sin but there would still be the obligation to take it to the sacrament of penance.
Marc, on December 8, 2014 at 11:51 am said:

Is it true that the Catholic Church is the continuation of the western Roman Empire?

FATHER JOE: After centuries of persecution, the Church was recognized by the empire and Christianity was legalized. Eventually the empire passed way but the Church and the faith has endured to this very day.
Jacob Paul Blessing, on December 8, 2014 at 3:45 am said:

apologies and peace to you. I heard I do not know if it is true. I heard they were evicting monks from there monasteries on mount Athos. When I heard this I covered my face a cried. I then began to tremble and became enraged. If I ever insulted your faith that you would feel such pain as I felt I am sorry. I cry now writing you.

FATHER JOE: This is old news. The Orthodox patriarch ordered the removal of monks deemed heretical and/or insubordinate to his authority. One of the issues was better relations with the Roman Catholic Church.
Suzy, on December 8, 2014 at 2:15 am said:

Hello Father
My sister has some mental health issues (still fully functional) and she for years has stolen from me-clothes,snacks for school,and most recently,money from our mom. She lies about everything and steals and has for years. Yet she has the audacity to steal from me,lie about it,then ask me to borrow clothes or snacks.

I’m torn between standing up for myself and refusing-no,you stole from me,why would I so easily give to you?-or following Matthew 25:31-46. I heard this verse in mass and I really want to apply it to my life. But in doing so,in sharing what I have with her,I feel walked over. What should I do?

We can’t confront her bcuz she’ll immediately get hysterical and self-harm and threaten suicide. And she’s very pregnant,and can’t have that stress. I’m tired of not standing up for myself,but if I do,I feel guilty and like I’m being the ‘goats’ in the parable! What should I do?

I appreciate your time and response. For context,I am 16,my sister is 19,and we both live at home. Thank you,Father

FATHER JOE: Try to be patient. The prospects for your future are far better than for her. Unless she gets beyond her issues, she will be facing great suffering and maybe even incarceration in the future. Hopefully she is getting treatment. If what you say is true, it would be best if someone else raised the child. If she is a danger to herself then she is a threat to the baby. The issues go way beyond you right now.
Nick, on December 8, 2014 at 12:43 am said:

Where might I find old, “retired” Clerical garb (Chasubles and other vestments) or altar cloths? I love the designs on them and I’m looking to possibly use them in a project.

Thanks!
-Nick

FATHER JOE: I suppose you might find something online. However, churches tend to use these things until they become worn out. Then they are often destroyed so that they might not be misused in a profane way. After all, they have been consecrated by their use. The only possible project that I can imagine as being approved would be to employ elements in new vestments. I would suggest abandoning the project.
mitchy, on December 7, 2014 at 9:26 pm said:

Hi Father Joe,, I was just curious because I always seen priest performing a ceremony without wearing the traditional Gown. Is it a new style now. Had a nephew he just had his baptism and was surprised because the priest who perform his baptism is not wearing the gown and also a shoes. all in all he is just wearing a civilian clothing.

FATHER JOE: A priest usually wears either a cassock and surplice or an alb with a white stole when he baptizes someone. Some priests will even wear a cope. I cannot imagine a priest doing baptisms just in his black clerics or civvies. Was it an emergency? If not, it should probably be reported to the bishop. Liturgical acts require liturgical garb.
Matt, on December 7, 2014 at 12:23 am said:

Father,
I recently started dating a girl who is Jewish and I’m Roman Catholic. I don’t think her parents will approve, and I am concerned if this is considered a sin.

FATHER JOE:

How old are you two? It is not a sin but if the relationship becomes serious, there will be complications.

For adults: There is a strong Jewish impetus that gentiles convert if they desire marriage. You cannot do this. While we would not require her conversion (if marriage is in the works) the Church would still require you to do all in your power to raise any children as Catholic. The Jewish faith would not recognize a marriage before a priest in a church. The Catholic faith requires a marriage to be witnessed by a priest or deacon. Sometimes couples get permission for a Jewish wedding but it must be in a neutral place, neither a church nor a synagogue. The priest can be present but he cannot participate in the ritual. Many if not most rabbis will not accept these conditions.
Ana, on December 5, 2014 at 12:51 am said:

About my last question, thanks for clearing that up. My Christian (Baptist) counselor strongly suggested I look into it, saying there are Christians looking into it, and I had no success finding anything that wasn’t New Age or something weird like that. Perhaps he meant something else, maybe akin to “Theology of the Body”? Who knows.

I’m struggling a lot with living peacefully in my body, see. I keep wanting to hurt it. I feel so filthy and bad for all those bad things that happened to me. The priest I talk to more regularly (the priest at my parish, not my previous spiritual director) says I’m trapped in a sort of slavery to my abusers. I think he’s right. He’s not much of a reader so I’m unsure if he’ll have reading materials I can look into to help with this. That said, what would you suggest, as I’m assuming you’re more of a reader?

FATHER JOE: I have not read it myself but have heard good things about a book entitled, Straying Towards Truth.
Ana, on December 5, 2014 at 12:36 am said:

Dear Father,

I find myself in a potentially desperate situation. I’m needed to leave my roommate’s home next Tuesday, and the apartment I was aiming to get just got taken by someone else, leaving me with nowhere to go. St. Joseph provided for me the last two times I needed somewhere to go, so I believe he’s keeping an eye on me. However, I figured I could use prayers, at least for the courage to stay calm.

-Ana

FATHER JOE: I will keep you in prayer.
Bryce, on December 4, 2014 at 11:53 pm said:

Father,

Since my girlfriend is Wiccan. Is it a sin to date her since she is of another religion?

FATHER JOE: As long as you are both modest and chaste, there is no sin with just dating, interfaith or not. The problem might be taking matters to the next level… engagement and marriage. Catholics must promise to do all they can to raise children in the faith. You would also want to have a godly home, devoid of false religion. Catholics and Protestants both love Jesus. Even the Jews worship the same God, albeit with a natural and not a supernatural faith in the Trinity. But Wicca or Paganism is false worship.
Josephine, on December 4, 2014 at 11:53 pm said:

Dear Father,

I am doing a presentation on ‘Abortion’ for school and I would really like to know your perspective, as a priest on what your views are about the subject and why you believe this, and if you think that your opinion will ever change.
Thank you very much for your time!

-Josephine

FATHER JOE:

My position will never change. There is no such thing as a pro-abortion Christian. Abortion attacks the incarnation itself. It is an offense against human dignity. My objection to Abortion is for both religious and philosophical reasons. Read Professor George’s Book, EMBRYO. The entity in the womb is human. Give him or her nine months and you will have to give the child a name.

The Slippery Slope of Abortion

Our Pro-Life Commitment
Vee, on December 4, 2014 at 6:13 am said:

Is a sin that is committed between you and God only

FATHER JOE: While sins principally offend God, they also damage the sinner and his or her relationships. Sins also wrong others.
vee, on December 4, 2014 at 5:38 am said:

Dear father,

If I confess the sin of adultery must i tell my boyfriend what I did, If I do not have the intention of committing this sin again. I want to marry him and I know that this information will cause the possibility of marriage to end. Is there another way I can repent for my sin and potentially receive salvation

FATHER JOE: Catholics can confess to a priest and receive a penance and absolution. What they tell the confessor is kept under the seal of the sacrament (secret). You are not married to your boyfriend yet. You are not morally obliged to tell him all your sins. If you have had sexual relations before marriage, it is recommended that couples talk about this… in terms of values, commitment and possible diseases. Are you ready for marriage? Avoid deliberate deception. Make things right with God.
Drew, on December 4, 2014 at 4:56 am said:

First, appreciate your time responding. I was wondering if you could point me to some verses to help explain confirmation and verses of how one goes through it, thanks,

Drew

FATHER JOE: CLICK THIS LINK on Confirmation
Bryce, on December 4, 2014 at 3:55 am said:

Father,

To start off, I’ve been dating my girlfriend for some time and I love her a lot. My main concern is that Im Christian and she’s Wiccan. Is our relationship wrong even though she’s never tried to make me believe her beliefs and I’ve never tried to make her believe what I believed.

FATHER JOE: A relationship would be very problematical as naturalist religions are regarded as the occult. This would make a possible marriage very difficult, especially when the children start coming. Further, the commission given by Christ would mandate that you witness the true faith to her. Modern paganism and Catholicism are an explosive mix, diametrically opposed to each other.
Diana Strauss, on December 3, 2014 at 8:12 pm said:

Why the sacrament? Why isn’t prayer the way to get close to G-d?

FATHER JOE: Sacraments are also prayers. Why sacraments? It is because Jesus instituted the sacraments for his Church. You are called to both a personal and corporate (Church) relationship to Christ. Jesus gave us the sacraments so that his ministry and presence might be perpetuated in the Church.
Shauna Weber, on December 3, 2014 at 8:06 pm said:

Sorry to leave information out , Father.

1. The marriage in Vegas and the catholic wedding was to the same person. .

2. I obtained a divorce from the man I married in Vegas and in the Church.

3. We are both Catholic and we never revealed to the priest that we were married in Vegas

4. I do want to get married again in the Church someday and am wondering if my marriage in the Church was invalid and I wouldn’t need a formal annulment.

Hope this helps you answer my questions. Thank you.

FATHER JOE: Did you get a second civil marriage license? The priest cannot witness a marriage in the U.S. without a civil license in hand for the records. In any case, your first marriage was licit and regarded as valid. You would need a formal annulment to marry again. You must tell the advocate everything… especially about the wedding in the Church.
al tritt, on December 3, 2014 at 7:48 pm said:

But that is not fair. Dosent God know how selfish we as humans are? That is why He should protect HIS animals.

FATHER JOE: Fair? Was it fair that the innocent one Jesus should have died on the Cross because of YOUR sins? It is our fault. It is your fault. It is the price of human freedom. We need to place the blame where it belongs. Is it fair that little children should have their heads chopped off by ISIS because they say they love Jesus? Wake up… the issue goes further than just puppies… and the world is still waiting for us to change.
Shauna Weber, on December 3, 2014 at 5:19 pm said:

Hi Father, I am trying to obtain an annulment and was married in Vegas a year prior to my Catholic marriage in the Church. I have been divorced since 2010.

I have learned that I should have had my Vegas wedding convolidated before getting married in the Catholic Church or that the Catholic wedding was not valid. Would this work in my favor for getting an annulment?

What kind of annulment do I need?

Thank you so much for your time,

Shauna

FATHER JOE:

There is information missing:

1. Was the attempted marriage in Vegas to the same person you married in the Catholic Church?

2. Which marriage ended in divorce, the Vegas one, the Catholic one or one prior to these two?

3. Are you Catholic? Was your first spouse Catholic?

4. Are you wanting to get married again or is the Catholic wedding negated because of a prior bond?

You do not give enough details for a certain answer.

If the Vegas and the Church wedding were to the same person, then the Church wedding was the con-validation. There would be no additional convalidation. I presume that you gave the priest a copy of the Vegas marriage license. The priest should have explained this to you. You would have also filled out prenuptial investigation forms and acquired baptismal certificates. If either of you were not Catholic, you would also have requested a dispensation from either disparity of cult or mixed religion. If you were only married to the one person, then you would need a formal annulment because it was witnessed in a Catholic church by a priest or deacon.
al tritt, on December 2, 2014 at 11:30 pm said:

sorry. I wish you could have answered my question about why G-D lets animals suffer. You gave me a response that has NOTHING to do with what I asked. Just say you don’t know,why G-d is so mean and dosen’t care about animals. he must NOT care.

FATHER JOE: I answered the question. The reasons that animals suffer is because of the disharmony caused by sin. The disobedience of our first parents brought suffering and death into the world. God cares but he made us the stewards of creation. We failed our job. It is our fault, not God’s.
Ana, on December 2, 2014 at 5:13 pm said:

Dear Father,

I’m really struggling. Can you please explain what embodied spirituality means? What does it mean to be a body and a spirit? How are both sacred?

-Ana

FATHER JOE: No, I cannot define it because it is defined inconsistently be new agers and those who seek to blend the teaching of various religions (especially the oriental) with psychology. Yoga and transcendental meditation might fall under this heading, too. As far as I know, the notion of “embodied spirituality” is not a genuine Christian concept. The make up of the human is as a spiritual-corporeal composite. But this is what we are and is not spirituality. The emphasis in Catholic spirituality is transformation into Christ. We are to seek genuine holiness, literally to be filled with the otherness of God. Catholic spirituality is not navel-gazing but looking outside ourselves. The modes of prayer are significant here: praise, thanksgiving, contrition, and petition. All of it focuses beyond any kind of narcissism. As creatures, our posture is to adore and give glory to the God. We thank God for everything we are and what we have; everything is his gift to us. We sometimes fail to be the people he called and so we return to him with sorrowful hearts. We know that God hears and answers all prayers. We have not been abandoned or orphaned by God.