Ask a Priest

5,442 Responses

Ana, on September 6, 2014 at 6:56 pm said:

Dear Father,

How would you advise me to regain trust in love? In the Church? I’ve all but lost trust in both.

My past aside, people who claim to love me desert me when I’m at my lowest. I’d ask, they’d promise, but I’m always forgotten. A priest I looked up to recently said things like, “We’re trying to run a church here. Why do you come here so often? You’re making a spectacle of yourself.” That just feels like the last nail on the coffin.

I’ve been having temptations to leave the Church, and just throw my life away to forget the hurt, if just a moment. I know rationally that this is silly, it won’t make anything better, but now I feel more than ever that I don’t deserve better. Why should I care if no one else does? Love just doesn’t seem to be meant for me.

Is there something I can do about this, Father?

-Ana

FATHER JOE: Dear Ana, do not throw away the gift of faith because people disappoint you. I cannot explain why the priest said what he did… maybe he had a bad day? People hurt and let me down all the time, but I still trust the promises of Christ. Life is hard and sometimes frightening. But we have to face what comes with courage. You are very much loved, Ana. Your are God’s precious daughter. Do not disparage yourself. That negativity does not come from the Lord. If you ever get around to Holy Family Church in Mitchellville, MD (between Largo and Bowie) I’ll treat you to a cup of coffee or something. My door is always open to you… just like my blog and email. The Church has not turned her back on you. Don’t you turn away from her.
Joseph Lee Hooker, on September 5, 2014 at 9:38 pm said:

I knew Fr. Ken Roberts very well. He was a gifted speaker. He had the ability to move hearts with his talks. He and his partner in Pax Tapes, ANNE Waters I believe was her last name, kept things very close to the small circle of people who benefitted off of this man who during the late 1980’s and early 1990’s made a tremendous amount of money for anyone associated with him. I enjoyed his sermons and humor. However, I also traveled with him and saw another side which confused me. One time while in Dubrovnick, 13 yr old and up teenagers were sitting at a bar drinking beer and liquor. When I said something to him he said, “You have to be lost first before you are found.” It brought tears to my eyes because I was a victim of an attempted molestation by a priest in the 1960s. That same trip in 1992 he also was relaxing out on a lounge chair at the hotel with another priest in front of these teenagers as a topless woman walked by within feet of their chairs on a nude beach at the hotel. One of the teenagers actually took video. I was disappointed to see the incredible amounts of alcohol he would drink and the wholly inappropriate sexual comments he would make as jokes and otherwise. His handlers seemed to look the other way at these indiscretions or laugh along. Having also been deeply inspired by him on other occasions, this obvious change of personality and behavior was confusing and very concerning to me. I made the decision as a professional Catholic singer/songwriter never to accompany him on retreats again. In conclusion, I loved Father Roberts as a priest, and I still love him as a friend in Christ. However, he has an unfortunate inability to face or understand what he does wrong. I personally feel it is something psychological as well as spiritual. He clearly needs both spiritual and psychological help. Please pray for him. The devil is indeed after our priests, especially those that may be most inspirational of all.
Shauna, on September 5, 2014 at 2:27 pm said:

Thank you, Father. I don’t think it would be morally acceptable for me to take the job. I do not have to , nor do I dispense medications like the morning after pill or medications that assist in abortion. I appreciate your response and prayers!

FATHER JOE: Wow, you are quick in the response… I tweaked my response before posting it. Blessings!
Shauna, on September 5, 2014 at 1:20 pm said:

I’m a pharmacist and have been offered a position of specializing in the counseling and preparation of fertility medication. Can I accept this position, being a Catholic? I do dispense birth control and other fertility medications or I would not have a job. Thank you.

FATHER JOE:

Sounds like you have already made up your mind. Even a Catholic hospital like Georgetown has a program to enhance fertility. Drugs to assist parenthood are not immediately at issue, unless such treatment comes hand-in-hand with the destruction of embryos. While certain chemical treatments are permitted, procedures like IVF and the freezing of embryos is condemned as immoral.

I recently wrote a letter for a pharmacist so that she could be excused from prescribing contraceptives and abortifacients. Is there no morality clause at your employment? Have you explored the possibility? Having said this, some women take the so-called “pill” to regulate cycles and to control bleeding. The Church would have no problem with legitimate medical conditions.

Given that pharmacies today often dispense abortifacients like the “morning after pill,” people like yourself are placed into a precarious moral situation. Can you live with what you do and your level of involvement in such matters? The more remote the agency, the better. Conscience clauses are respected in many states and by a number of pharmacies. But I know the pressure is on. You may know your business but I would suggest that you further study the ethical considerations. A quick comment and response on a blog is only a starting point.

Pharmacists not only have their own families for which to care but select their employment as a way to help others. The medicines they give out make the difference between life and death, as well as enhancing the quality of life. I will be praying for you, Shauna. God bless!
Robyn, on September 4, 2014 at 6:26 pm said:

I work with a protestant woman who is getting a divorce from her husband (actually the divorce was today) for his years of infidelity. She has spoken to me about this for months and I am afraid that I said some things in support of her divorce that were wrong. I’ve since confessed any wrong doing on my part but I just don’t know how to handle this. We work in a one-room office so I can’t avoid her. As a catholic, what should be my response? She initiated the divorce. She’s been divorced before and I don’t even know if her marriage would be considered a valid marriage. I know that she’s going to want to tell me all about it tomorrow and I just don’t know how to handle it. As a catholic working in the world, how am I supposed to handle this?

FATHER JOE: Just be her friend. Infidelity is a form of abuse and she no doubt wants healing. Given that she was married before, it is unlikely the Church would recognize the latest bond, that is unless the prior bond was invalid (if it were to a Catholic outside the Church). Without more details I could not judge its validity for sure. In any case, her experience of it was real as is the subsequent betrayal and pain.
Chukwuemeka, on September 4, 2014 at 4:13 am said:

Father, my friend told me that her friend is pregnant and wants to abort the baby. I told her to advice her against doing it. But it seems she is not interested in giving her the advise. What else should I do… since I am not that close to her friend?

FATHER JOE: Is the woman Catholic? If so, you could make the appeal to her faith and suggest that she talk with her pastor. Otherwise, you might put together an envelope of phone numbers and materials where she could find assistance in saving her child. Is there a local pro-life Pregnancy Crisis Center? It is always helpful to give a person in this situation assistance in finding the pro-life alternatives. There are way too many people directing pregnant women to the quick and final way of abortion. Be courageous in approaching her but don’t do so in a mean-spirited or argumentative way. Just explain that you heard she was pregnant and that she should not allow her fear to force a decision she will regret in the future. She needs to feel that she will find support and resources in keeping the child. Ultimately, you cannot control what she does. Pray for her.
Ruth, on September 3, 2014 at 5:04 pm said:

I will keep you in mind while praying Michelle. God bless you.

Father, what is my role and duty as a Godmother of my neice?. I don’t find it to be of any significance in today’s world… what do you say?

FATHER JOE:

There was a tendency to make merely ceremonial this role even before Vatican II. There are things that a godparent should do and others that they can do as a sponsor sharing a spiritual bond or connection.

1. Practice your own faith and remain in a state of grace. That way there is no spiritual bond with a sponsor in mortal sin.

2. Actively support the family and remind them of their moral obligation to worship on Sundays and to raise the child in the faith.

3. Commemorate birthdays and baptismal anniversaries with a note or small gift to reinforce the special relationship. Religious gifts could be very important, i.e. rosaries, holy medals, prayer books, etc.

4. If you are still around it is beautiful when a baptismal godparent can also serve as a Confirmation sponsor.

5. While the legal issues have changed matters, you have a moral obligation to insure that your godchild has adequate material support (food, housing, health needs, etc.). Some sponsors cringe when they hear about this traditional role… as it reaches into the wallet.

6. You should pray daily for your godchild. Never underestimate the power of prayer.
paxi1949, on September 3, 2014 at 1:55 am said:

May our Loving God bestow His mercy and compassion on Michelle and on all suffering from mental illness. His Peace is the only Peace that is true and lasting.
Michelle, on September 2, 2014 at 7:17 pm said:

Thank you, Father. It means so much knowing that there are others out there praying for us. And I pray for everyone facing mental illness – whether themselves or the illness of a loved one. God bless you, Father Joe.
Michelle, on September 2, 2014 at 1:30 pm said:

Father, please pray for my family. My father is mentally ill and self-medicates with alcohol and prescription pain killers. He has lately been in some legal trouble as well and I am afraid for both my parents. I am afraid that they are ruined financially, that my father will commit suicide, and I am afraid for his soul. My family has done everything that we can legally do for him, and we have prayed so hard. I don’t know where to turn but to God. So, please pray for us.

FATHER JOE: Many prayers. I would ask other readers to pray upon this, too. God bless!
Janet Piper, on September 2, 2014 at 2:20 am said:

There is an old legend in France, called the Baptism of Angels, where the parents take the child to a Lake and leave it overnight at a chapel of the Blessed Mother. They believed that during the night, the Virgin would smile upon the child, waking it from it’s eternal slumber and the Angels would baptize it with water from the lake and then take it’s soul to heaven. The next day, they buried it in the Cemetery of the Innocents, because it was not baptized, it was not allowed to be buried in the consecrated cemetery. It is a nice legend. I just thought I would share.
Janet Piper, on September 2, 2014 at 1:51 am said:

Hi Father Joe, have you ever heard of the Ritual of Coutances. It’s an old ritual used in wedding ceremonies. I tried to find information on it, but couldn’t find anything. Thanks, Janet

FATHER JOE: I believe it was a French ritual that included an inquiry and was regarded by certain critics as more legalistic than liturgical. However, I recall it maintained a pious nuptial veiling of the couple while kneeling. You can purchase a copy in Latin or in translation through Amazon or Barnes and Noble. Some countries outside the U.S. also allow access to a pdf copy.
Ana, on September 1, 2014 at 11:33 pm said:

Dear Father,

I was recently introduced to the concept of “baptism by blood.” I wanted to ask you, would this would apply to an aborted child?

Thank you,
Ana

FATHER JOE: When I was a boy, I was taught that unbaptized babies went to the limbo of the innocents. There they would be naturally happy but forever ignorant of the God whom they would not see. This was a good theory because our Lord never really came out and gave us details about children who died before baptism or reaching the age of reason. The universal catechism today is much more optimistic about the children presuming that a good God would make some provision for such innocent ones. Technically, the “baptism by blood scenario” does not directly refer to babies, although arguments have been made based upon the Feast of the Holy Innocents. It may be that all children as reflections of the Christ Child are specially graced by God. The Church would urge parents not to despair about children naturally miscarried and to pray for those who are aborted. Certainly it is the intention of the Church that they might be saved, and the late Archbishop Fulton Sheen suspected that this intention of the Church might suffice for a “baptism by desire.” (Certain breakaway traditionalists, but not all, reject the concept of baptism by desire.) Unbaptized children would not pass through purgatory as it is not an abode for the remission of original sin, but for venial sin and the temporal punishment due because of sin. We ask mothers and fathers who have lost children to keep them in prayer and to love them. I often recommend giving them a name to facilitate prayerful remembrance.
anthony davi, on September 1, 2014 at 9:06 pm said:

After Purgatory will pass away, will we go to heaven or a new earth?

FATHER JOE: The Church does not go into great detail about the various dynamics of the afterlife. It is sufficient that the new earth, the New Jerusalem, and the Kingdom are all connected to heavenly glory where we will see God face to face. Purgatory will pass away. The two realities that will remain will be heaven and hell.
Ruth, on August 31, 2014 at 3:30 pm said:

If that is so..then Father in what way should serial killers and rapists be punished..im talking about those who dont get reformed and keep repeating the crime on release.

FATHER JOE: I suspect the issue is the matter of release. Life imprisonment should mean life. Speaking for myself, I think they should be compelled to some sort of employment while incarcerated, to pay for their incarceration and to make an attempt at restitution to victims or their families.
Ruth, on August 30, 2014 at 6:32 am said:

Father, are castration or death sentence reasonable punishments for a rapist or a murderer?

FATHER JOE: The Church today opposes the death sentence, particularly because the mechanisms for legal defense and justice are not deemed equitable or uniformly administered. Further, it seems that executions (even of the guilty) promote a culture of death where none are safe, particularly the unborn and elderly. Surgical castration is condemned as a form of bodily mutilation. The Church would permit incarceration and reform but would shy away from vengeance.
Ruth, on August 28, 2014 at 4:33 pm said:

Hello father,
In today’s society, career and women empowerment is rampant. What do you think about this?
Is it right for a mother to be busy at her great career, which actually fulfills her family’s needs, but her children are into bad habits and are heading towards danger?
Or is it ok for a child to leave his house, especially a daughter, before marriage, only for the sake of education or career?
Please give me your honest opinion on this.
I have got a job in another city, but somehow I feel a bit bad about leaving my parents’ home just for a job.

FATHER JOE: I believe that the vocation of wife and mother is sacred and wonderful. At the same time I believe that women should use the gifts that God has given them. Parents sometimes need the second paycheck to make ends meet. Not every situation is the same. But single women in particular have the opportunity for study and careers. They are making a difference in business, medicine, communications, education, you name it. It hurts but you should take advantage of the opportunities before you.
Dina Strauss, on August 27, 2014 at 9:30 am said:

What happens if the Pope elected is someone you don’t like? Do you still have to obey him?

FATHER JOE: Yes.
Kathy Q, on August 26, 2014 at 3:17 pm said:

Dear Father Joe: I am mentally ill and have been my whole life. This greatly influences my spiritual life. I cannot take medication to get better as it does not work and has made me worse. Right now, when someone tells me that God loves me, it means nothing to me. I don’t hate God or anyone, I just don’t feel that I have the capacity to feel love or accept love. I want to love God as the saints did, but I don’t know how to do it. All I know is that my mind is getting worse and I am so afraid. I don’t know why it doesn’t make me feel better when I am told that God loves me. It just doesn’t matter. Yet I know how important my relationship with God is. I feel despair especially since after 67 years of being mentally ill, it looks like there is no help coming.

FATHER JOE: It is hard to know what to say in that mental illness takes many forms. Medication may help sometimes, even if we are too close to the problem to see it. Of course, there can be a trade-off as well. I had a friend who suffered from schizophrenia. His medication silenced the voices and delusions; but, they also inhibited any religious sense or emotional satisfaction from faith. Using an analogy with our sense of taste, he said it was as if everything were cardboard. But he had no real choice. Hanging out on the street, living out of a dumpster was no answer either. He struggled to develop a stronger intellectual faith, to fill the gulf left by the spiritual dryness he felt. It was the cross he had to bear. Divine love became less a matter of chemistry or a sense of security, and more a conviction that God willed to create us and call us into communion with him— not because he had to, but because he chose to do so. St. Teresa of Avila and St. John of the Cross wrote about their dark nights of the soul. I cannot say if either were bi-polar or not, but there was certainly a severe depression. They interpreted the spiritual desert as God’s way of weaning them away from his gifts so that they might better focus upon the Giver, God himself. If any should doubt the love of God, I would point to the crucifix. This is how much God loves you. Despite all your sins and weaknesses, our Lord suffers his passion and dies on the Cross for you and me. We placed him upon that Cross with our sins. He had every right to hate and curse us. Instead, he made it the means of our redemption. That is love… no matter how we feel about it. Indeed, he loves us, even if we struggle to love ourselves.
Christian Schmemann, on August 25, 2014 at 2:11 pm said:

I am a Catholic who has been living in the “Mormonland” of eastern Idaho for a while now. I have a couple questions.

1. What does the Catholic Church teach about people existing before birth? Mormons, in case you were not aware, believe that people existed before this life (and also believe that God once was a human being, but I have no doubt that the Catholic Church rejects this last claim outright).

FATHER JOE:

1. People do not exist before their conception and birth. The immortal soul is infused at the moment of conception. We are not fallen souls trapped in matter. There is also no reincarnation. God became a man in Jesus Christ, but God as God is a perfect Spirit that always was and will be. He is not a creature that somehow became a deity. Jesus is a divine Person who takes human flesh (body and soul). We are human persons or creatures only. We are utterly dependent upon God. We will not play the role of Christ for other planets. That is a Mormon fantasy that is quickly being abandoned even by many Mormons.

2. I picked a fascinating time to move to Mormonland. I as your prayers Father and prayers from all other readers of bloggerpriest.com for a certain John Dehlin of Logan, UT. He runs a blog/podcast site called mormonstories.org, and he is facing the prospect of excommunication from the Mormon Church, because apparently his blog where he discusses doubts and tough questions about Mormon theology constitutes apostasy, because apparently even asking questions about Mormon theology constitutes a will rejection of the Mormon Church.

FATHER JOE:

2. I disagree with Mormon theology but, of course, I am no Mormon. In any case, it is my opinion that the Church of Latter Day Saints has the right to discipline or censure their membership as they see fit. The choice the blogger has is whether or not he wants to continue as a member of that church. Similarly, the Catholic Church has the authority to discipline her members for dissent and/or sin, including excommunication. There are closed matters about which Catholics are forbidden to conjecture as well, as with women priests or abortion.

John Dehlin does take positions that our Church would not support such as support for same-sex marriage (and I’m sure that comparing Catholic priesthood and the pseudo-Masonic Mormon lay priesthood would be comparing apples and Cheez-wiz, but he does support letting women into the pseudo-Masonic Mormon lay priesthood also), but I think that it is certain that John Dehlin would not suffer excommunication even in the n=most conservative of Catholic dioceses and eparchies in the United States.

FATHER JOE:

The laity can get away with many things. However, a priest who espoused women’s ordination might be removed from his assignment and possibly silenced and or excommunicated. Women who sought the priesthood would automatically face this prospect. It is a non-question. Women cannot be priests— case closed! Priests who participate in offering the Mass with priestesses are routinely stripped of their authority. As I said, just as I would support Catholic censures over heresy; the Mormons have the same right.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/06/16/female-priests-risk-excommunication/2429187/

http://www.reuters.com/article/2008/05/29/us-pope-women-idUSL2986418520080529
Lavi, on August 23, 2014 at 9:39 pm said:

I was raised catholic but now I am considering leaving catholicism along with belief in god. I honestly cannot come to believe in god anymore, I used to be such a fervent believer in him but I have come to the realization that I no longer believe in him. The more I read the bible and verses like the ones below the more I become disillusioned with Christianity.

Deut 25:11-12 / Genesis 38:8-10 / Deut 21:18-21 / Ex 35:2 / Lev 20:13 / Isaiah 13:13-16 / Exodus 21:20-21 / 1 Tim 2:11-12 / Col 3:22-23 / Luke 14:26 / Deut 22:13-21 / Isaiah 40:8

This does not seem like the word of god to me, a being who is suppose to be all knowing and perfect, but rather the work of an individual with a primitive way of thinking. Many times I tried to convince myself that the god of the Old Testament was different but sadly that is not the case since most Christians believe that god is eternally unchanging as it is expected of a perfect know it all being. I have many more problems with the bible, including inconsistencies with history and science. I also don’t like the fact that everything in the bible has to be watered down especially the negative portions. Why can’t I just read it for what it is, why does it have to read metaphorically. When Jesus said that we should love our neighbors as we love ourselves I understood the message loud and clear. So why are other portions which are just so ridiculous have to be read symbolically or metaphorically. I honestly cannot believe in god anymore, I tried but I just can’t bring myself to honestly and sincerely believe anymore. I don’t consider myself an evil person but the more scripture I read the less I believe.

FATHER JOE:

Genesis 38:8-10

Then Judah said to Onan, “Have intercourse with your brother’s wife, in fulfillment of your duty as brother-in-law, and thus preserve your brother’s line.” Onan, however, knew that the offspring would not be his; so whenever he had intercourse with his brother’s wife, he wasted his seed on the ground, to avoid giving offspring to his brother. What he did greatly offended the LORD, and the LORD took his life too.

Often cited against the sin of masturbation and/or coitus interruptus, the situation again reflects an ancient code (pagan and Jewish) about raising a child up for one’s dead brother. Onan has no problem with enjoying the sexual act, but his selfishness will not allow a child to be conceived. If there is no progeny then no inheritance will have to be shared with his brother’s family. While Christians do not follow this legal code, and would object to such an understanding of the marriage bed, we can see in the story a divine negative verdict against those who would separate the conjugal act from its natural fertility. In any case, Onan is disobedient to what he perceives as his obligation under the law. Disobedience always invokes a reckoning. Given that he acts against life, his life is demanded of him. Remember that God is the author of life. We belong to him. If he should demand our life, it is his right.

Exodus 21:20-21

When someone strikes his male or female slave with a rod so that the slave dies under his hand, the act shall certainly be avenged.

If, however, the slave survives for a day or two, he is not to be punished, since the slave is his own property.

The ancient world kept slaves. These rules here were to keep the masters of men accountable. While we disagree about such bondage, we can appreciate the yearning for justice. There is still slavery in certain parts of the world. The seed of freedom planted in the New Covenant would take a while to germinate and grow. Christians were urged to treat slaves as brothers and sisters in Christ. Later slavery was tolerated until that time that debts were paid off or savages were civilized and given the true faith. Popes condemned slavery in the 1600’s and yet it would remain an institution in the United States until 1865. It became ever clearer that in Christ all are given grace and regarded the same— Jew or Gentile, free or slave, man or woman— all possess a precious dignity and freedom is our birthright as children of God. Here is one of the clearest instances of the organic development of doctrine.

Exodus 35:2

On six days work may be done, but the seventh day shall be holy to you as the sabbath of complete rest to the LORD. Anyone who does work on that day shall be put to death.

This is part of the Decalogue, although later Jews and Christians would not have any part of a death threat. Ancient peoples often attached the death penalty to matters they wanted obeyed— Canaanites did this, the Egyptians, the Babylonians, and of course, the Romans, etc. The preference would be to imitate God because we want to be like him or because we love him. This particular law also reflects the human condition. Men need rest just as they require work. This law would prevent men being forced to labor without a day of rest where they could worship God and find their leisure. Today we have forgotten this and poor people are sometimes forced to work seven days a week to put food on their tables and to care for their families. We live in a world which no longer either loves God or fears him.

Leviticus 20:13

If a man lies with a male as with a woman, they have committed an abomination; the two of them shall be put to death; their bloodguilt is upon them.

We should not get caught up with the death penalties enacted by the ancient peoples. While we find it abhorrent, the emphasis is on the accompanying value, not the censure. When you do not have jails and are desperate to keep an organized society, societies typically enact harsh measures. This proposition here comes as part of a much longer list, each with a similar penalty: occult worship (6), dishonoring parents (9), adultery (10), incest (11 & 12), and bestiality (15). Here the prohibition is against the sin of homosexuality. Are you upset because the Scriptures and the Church teaches against homosexuality? Catholicism would say it also conflicts with the natural law. We must love our disoriented brothers and sisters; but we cannot give our approbation for immoral behavior. Those who are truly homosexual are called to lives of celibate love and service. How do you feel about the other sins listed? They have their advocates just as homosexuality did. During my lifetime there has been a major paradigm shift. That which was almost universally regarded as abhorrent and criminalized is now esteemed by our secular humanistic society as a basic right. The Church cannot dismiss objective truths so easily or because of the changing fads and fashions of the day. Doctrine can develop, but a reversal here would be a stark conflict with what has come before.

Deuteronomy 21:18-21

If someone has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not listen to his father or mother, and will not listen to them even though they discipline him, his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders at the gate of his home city, where they shall say to the elders of the city, “This son of ours is a stubborn and rebellious fellow who will not listen to us; he is a glutton and a drunkard.” Then all his fellow citizens shall stone him to death. Thus shall you purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel will hear and be afraid.

Again, note that we are not under the Levitical law but saved by faith and the Lord’s gift of grace. These dictums do not apply to Christians. The ancient society to which they were applied no longer exists. While capital punishment clashes with the Church’s ethic for life, what was it that the people of old were seeking to foster? First, this passage is not in reference to a small child but an adult (man). Second, his rebelliousness is not over minor issues. He is self-preoccupied to the extent of neglecting his parents and the community. He is abusive and dangerous. The stakes were high, life and death. It may be that the threat of ultimate punishment turned many of these men around.

Deuteronomy 22:13-21

If a man, after marrying a woman and having relations with her, comes to dislike her, and accuses her of misconduct and slanders her by saying, “I married this woman, but when I approached her I did not find evidence of her virginity,” the father and mother of the young woman shall take the evidence of her virginity and bring it to the elders at the city gate. There the father of the young woman shall say to the elders, “I gave my daughter to this man in marriage, but he has come to dislike her, and now accuses her of misconduct, saying: ‘I did not find evidence of your daughter’s virginity.’ But here is the evidence of my daughter’s virginity!” And they shall spread out the cloth before the elders of the city. Then these city elders shall take the man and discipline him, and fine him one hundred silver shekels, which they shall give to the young woman’s father, because the man slandered a virgin in Israel. She shall remain his wife, and he may not divorce her as long as he lives. But if this charge is true, and evidence of the young woman’s virginity is not found, they shall bring the young woman to the entrance of her father’s house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death, because she committed a shameful crime in Israel by prostituting herself in her father’s house. Thus shall you purge the evil from your midst.

Do you not remember the story of the woman caught in adultery and how Jesus challenged the angry crowd? He said, “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.” They all walked away. Jesus came to bring mercy, even when the woman was guilty. He also preached against divorce, something else affirmed here. You wrongly get caught up in the graphic elements. All these things must now be viewed in light of Christ. How is it then that these elements of ancient Judaism would cause you to dismiss your faith in Jesus Christ? Either you have not thought this through, or this whole comment and citations is a ploy from a non-believer to ridicule the faith.

Deuteronomy 25:11-12

When two men are fighting and the wife of one intervenes to save her husband from the blows of his opponent, if she stretches out her hand and seizes the latter by his genitals, you shall chop off her hand; show no pity.

And how often do you suppose this actually happened? The gravity is not cruelty but upon the gift of fertility. Destruction of a person’s faculty in the transmission of human life was regarded as a serious crime. It robbed a man of his posterity and remembrance. Remember, the early Jews had a poor understanding of an afterlife. They placed the emphasis upon children and property. This is one of many civil laws that were not unique to the people called by God. It is merely an ancient legal code. God calls us from where we are with all our ignorance or sophistication. Notice the law that follows it forbids carrying different weights in your traveling bag, so that men might not cheat each other when scales are used in purchases. The code that proceeded about marriage would mandate marriage within a family to carry on a brother’s name and linage. As with the Mosaic code on divorce, this would conflict with Christ’s teachings on the nature of marriage. Jesus would speak about their hardness of hearts. Not everything in the Old Testament reflects God’s direct will. The Bible is not a manual or rule book. It is a chronicle of salvation history. You have to read it as such and place the emphasis upon Christ and the teachings of his Church. God shows us his face and his will over time. While the deposit of faith is now fixed, it develops through our reflection and deepening understanding.

Isaiah 13:13-16

For this I will make the heavens tremble and the earth shall be shaken from its place, at the wrath of the LORD of hosts on the day of his burning anger. Like a hunted gazelle, or a flock that no one gathers, they shall turn each to their own people and flee each to their own land. Everyone who is taken shall be run through; and everyone who is caught shall fall by the sword. Their infants shall be dashed to pieces in their sight; their houses shall be plundered and their wives ravished.

This is part of a collection of oracles from various sources that focus upon foreign nations. While God’s people were indeed guilty of barbarism (we even see this in the psalms), the emphasis here is divine retribution and judgment. The emphasis is that death will overtake everyone. There was also the appreciation that this existence is messy. There is violence and death awaiting us in a fallen world. Our life belongs to the Lord. Because of sin, we deserve to die. Jesus would fail to come as this kind of military Messiah. Rather, he brought mercy and not the sword. However, at the final consummation, he will be the true Pantocrator— the Lord of Judgment. Those who love the Lord need not fear. Those who disobey him have every right to be afraid. It does not mean that God directly desires child murder and rape.

Isaiah 40:8

“The grass withers, the flower wilts, but the word of our God stands forever.”

What do you find objectionable about this? It means that God’s Word does not forfeit its binding force. God keeps his promises.

It is at this point that you turn your disdain to the New Testament. Are you really a Christian? Were you ever?

Luke 14:26

“If any one comes to me without hating his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.”

This is an example of Hebraic hyperbole. It is an artifact of language. There is no exclamation point for emphasis. Jesus does not mean that we should literally hate our parents and family. That would be absurd. Jesus uses similar hyperbole when he says let the dead bury the dead or to pluck out your eye or cut off your hand. Jesus is actually saying that there is urgency to embracing the kingdom. Now is the appointed time. We should not delay or even allow familiar relations to inhibit our acceptance of the Gospel. Jesus takes the family, our most prized human institution, and says that even that should not get in the way of following him. Note that Peter and Andrew left everything to follow Jesus. The boats would have to be used by other family members or friends for fishing. Jesus was making them fishers of men. Similarly, in the early days of the Church, pagan families often opposed and tried to block the conversion of members.

Colossians 3:22-23

Slaves, obey your human masters in everything, not only when being watched, as currying favor, but in simplicity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, do from the heart, as for the Lord and not for others, knowing that you will receive from the Lord the due payment of the inheritance; be slaves of the Lord Christ.

Paul did not invent the institution of slavery but Christianity was altering it. Master and slave have the same dignity. This must be measured with verse three: “Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcision and uncircumcision, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all and in all.” Read God’s word in a contextual way. Often slaves had to work off just debts for their freedom. It was quite different from the tyranny of slavery in America. But as I said before, Paul’s words about our equality in Christ would eventually bring such subservience to an end. Here Paul is sharing his hierarchical view— one that still influences the constitution of Christ’s Church: wives subordinate to husbands (18), husbands love your wives (19), children obey your parents (20), and fathers do not provoke children (21). The mention of slavery falls within such a schema. We are all called to service. We are all servants or slaves of God. Even the Pope is called “the Servant of the Servants of God.” He is literally a slave for the Gospel and the Church. He lives not for himself, but for Christ and his people.

1 Timothy 2:11-12

A woman must receive instruction silently and under complete control. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man. She must be quiet.

Not everything in Scripture is unalterable doctrine. There are certain disciplines, even apostolic ones that can be abrogated. I think here about women’s dress or the mantilla veils that were once popular with women in church. Priests must be male and I would cite this as apostolic evidence that such male leadership reflects the divine will. Of course, today women are permitted to read the Old Testament and epistles in church. The citation here was principally concerning pagans who had recently converted. Women oracles and prophetesses (often possessed by demons) were a problem that Paul did not want to see translated to the churches. They would swoon, speak gibberish and cryptic remarks. Paul saw this as distracting from the truth of Christ. It may be that such women were seeking to wrestle authority away from the legitimate shepherds.

You want a simplified or literal Bible and yet why should revelation be absolutely baby talk? The things of God are far more complex than the inside of a car or computer. To reduce their repair manuals to what you would make the Bible would leave everything broken. Grow up. God’s Word is not broken, you are. We all are as sinners, me too. But in Jesus there is healing and salvation.
Kelly Takeyama, on August 23, 2014 at 10:31 am said:

If I go buy a lethal amount of heroin and take it all and die even though I’m not sure it’s enough— would I go to hell still?

FATHER JOE: Despite ignorance, the direct intent is to commit suicide. Mental illness and emotion distress aside, yes such an act against life would be sufficiently serious to merit eternal damnation.

I’m sober— no access to it. Please no lectures in faith. I was raised in “the Way.”

FATHER JOE: By “the Way” do you mean the catechumenal way? I am not sure what you mean. How could you ask a priest a question of this sort and not expect a lecture in faith, especially since you seem to suffer from shortcomings in your catechesis?

I’d just like to know how I can secure my place near God and not endure pain for eternity. God promises in this life that we will suffer no more than we can bear.

FATHER JOE: We live in hope without sinning by presumption of God’s salvific will for us. Many will suffer the pains of purgatory to satisfy the temporal punishment due for venial sins. Some take up their crosses here so that they may have their crown with Christ. There is no path to the empty tomb and the resurrection that does not pass through the measure of the Cross. The damned of hell renounce friendship with God and suffer from both the pain of loss (forever separated from the God for whom they were made) and pain of the senses (fire).

The question should not be “what is the least we can do to avoid fire?” Rather, the real question is “how much do we love God and want to be with him?”
M Baja, on August 22, 2014 at 9:19 pm said:

Dear father, What kind of prayers can be said, or what kind of masses can be offered for someone who committed suicide?

FATHER JOE: We do not know the mental and/or emotional state of such people. Therefore, without causing scandal, we offer prayers and Masses for the Dead, leaving their final disposition to almighty God.
paxi1949, on August 22, 2014 at 10:59 am said:

I often think about this “timing” issue relative to end times and the Kingdom in general. Since heaven is eternal, and infinite, and “time” as we understand it is nothing more than a measure of the sun and moon’s movements, perhaps all things happen in heaven totally simultaneously with no “before, during or after”. We get all stressed about “when things will happen” while God exists in a timeless, present only, realm. Personally, I have moved on to accepting God as He “is”, eternal, and live these few time oriented days as they are, giving Him glory and thanks until He stops the earthly clock with a new heaven and a new earth and a new “present only” existence for us eternally with Him.

FATHER JOE: I am often wary of speculation as to the experiential nature of the afterlife. It is sufficient that the saints will see God and know happiness and union with him and with our brothers and sisters in Christ. Having said this, the Church also speaks about the “bodily” resurrection. Jesus has already assumed his mother into heaven and we are also promised a share in his life. Men and women are not angels and we will not be ghosts forever. While God lives in eternity, there may always be an element to human beings oriented toward the temporal or as creatures to a type of duration. Jesus is a divine Person, the second Person of the Trinity. The Incarnation signified the Almighty’s insertion into time of which he is the author.
Anthony Davi, on August 21, 2014 at 10:38 pm said:

Dear Father Joe,
Thank you for the tremendous service you provide with your blog. And thank you for your time in doing all that you do.
I was born on November 2nd so I have reflected quite a bit in recent years about Purgatory. Do we know if judgment/Lord’s review/appraisal of our life and life’s deeds occurs before we enter Purgatory or after Purgatory either before we whether Heaven or perhaps later when there is the resurrection of our bodies? I never thought of this before but was wondering if the Church has ever rendered an opinion on the chronology of things in this regard.

FATHER JOE: At death we undergo a particular judgment. It is after this that some go to purgatory, a few go to heaven and a number probably go to hell. At the general judgment, purgatory will pass away and there will be two realities, heaven and hell. There is some argument about when we are restored to our bodies, but it certainly happens by the time of the final or general judgment.