Ask a Priest

5,442 Responses

Belle, on August 4, 2014 at 4:40 am said:

Hi, I’m not Catholic but I’m going to convert. I’m guilty of mortal sin right now. Will I go to hell if I die before I convert and can confess to a priest? I’ve confessed and asked God for his forgiveness.

FATHER JOE: See a priest, repent of sin and sign up for instructions in the faith (RCIA). The Church has always regarded catechumens as being in a special category if they should die before baptism. The catechism would speak of baptism by desire and by blood. If you are already baptized, again see the priest. Make a good act of contrition. Those who are already baptized will need to receive the sacrament of penance prior to reception. Concentrate on coming into the Church, not simply upon the prospect of hell. Have faith in Christ. Embrace the two-fold commandment of love. “Love covers a multitude of sins!” Peace!
Patti, on August 2, 2014 at 12:03 am said:

Hello Father,
I will soon be eligible to receive Medicare. Our agent recommended the Gerber Medicare Supplement Insurance It sounds like a good plan and my husband and I are happy with it. I am somewhat scrupulous however, and asked the agent if the Gerber company was in any way associated with Planned Parenthood. He said, “Not to my knowledge.” I have looked online at many lists which show companies associated with PP. I found one that mentioned Gerber foods, but the other lists did not mention Gerber or Nestle which is the company that owns Gerber. Is it wrong to use this company if I should find out that it does have some connection with PP? Thank you.

FATHER JOE: You are probably dealing with a certain degree of remote causality. Such would not absolutely oblige you. Your choices are limited. Most would probably not worry much about it. Otherwise, every time you bought baby food or a candy bar, your scruples would again intervene. In any case, I really know very little about these companies and their investments. Sorry, I wish I could be of more help.
dyorjt, on August 1, 2014 at 2:11 pm said:

Thank you, Fr. Joe! God bless.
Joshua McElhinney, on July 31, 2014 at 9:39 pm said:

Thank you, father
dyorjt, on July 31, 2014 at 9:28 pm said:

Hi Father! The thought of becoming a priest had been in my mind for the past week or so. I’m very active in our parish and a lot of people (even our Pastor and seminarian) are encouraging me to be one but I never entertained it. But for whatever reason, it has just been in my mind for days now. And when the idea comes, I just immediately tell myself that its impossible because of the following reasons, (1) I just turned 41 and I’m too old for it, (2) I have been in the US about 13 years already but my immigration status hasn’t been fixed yet until now and (3) I’m in debt and if I ever pursue it, i don’t have my family to support me. With my situation, is it right to just easily say NO?!?! Or should I still try to find a way?!?! How do I know if I’m really called for that?!?! Thanks!

FATHER JOE: A pressing debt might be an issue, but you will never know if you do not try. Take the leap and see where God leads you.
Joshua McElhinney, on July 31, 2014 at 3:34 am said:

Dear Father, I worry a lot so this may sound silly to you but it is worrying me. i was beginning to pray, and when i was saying the (not really sure what to call it) and the random thought of the devil came up. does that mean i was praying to him (i wasnt trying to, i just got that thought)?
and if so can i be forgiven? Thank you, Father

FATHER JOE: Random thoughts constantly pass through our heads, even bad ones. We just do not entertain them. There is no sin about things that cannot be controlled.
Ruth, on July 30, 2014 at 5:17 pm said:

I just don’t know why..i’m not all that gorgeous..just average good looking..the boys i meet, i talk to them in a friendly manner like all other gals..finally they end up liking me and try to flirt with me in spite of having their girlfriends…when i don’t respond , they start hating me..what m i supposed to do? I really don’t initiate or give reason for such behaviour.

FATHER JOE: The problem is theirs, not yours. But it is okay to say thank you to complements.
teenawrites, on July 29, 2014 at 2:26 pm said:

One question about confirmation, Father,

If a person has not received confirmation, is it possible to receive the sacrament well unto adulthood? Is it a sin to have not received confirmation?

FATHER JOE: You need to be ready to seek Confirmation. Waiting may thus be the right choice, not a sin. However, it would be sinful for parents to neglect the faith formation of their children. Every year the Archbishop here in Washington confirms adults at the Cathedral on Pentecost Sunday. RCIA classes are often used to supply the necessary catechesis, not only for converts but for Catholics who need sacraments.
Dina Strauss, on July 29, 2014 at 9:32 am said:

Why does it make sense to baptize a child who doesn’t know what is happening, or what about forced baptism over the centuries? Why does either have an effect? In one case the baby knows nothing and int he other you have an unwilling “convert” who wants nothing to do with the Catholic faith?

Thanks

FATHER JOE:

We do not force baptisms upon adults. Missionaries often endured great hardships and even suffered martyrdom in bringing the faith to others around the world. Unwilling converts cannot be validly baptized or received into the Church. This has always been the case. The situation with children depends upon several points:

1. The apostolic and patristic tradition of baptizing whole households, including the children of believers.

2. While a child has not yet reached the age of reason, parents may profess faith on behalf of a child with the expectation that they will raise the child in the faith and insure the sacraments of penance, holy communion and confirmation. There are three sacraments of initiation, not one: BAPTISM, EUCHARIST, and CONFIRMATION. At confirmation that person will make for himself the profession and promises made by parents at baptism.

3. The Church is the sacrament of salvation. Catholics are called both to a CORPORATE faith in Jesus as well as a PERSONAL one. This corporate element, linked to the communion of the saints, is why parents can profess faith for a child. We do not come to the Lord alone.

4. After the age of reason, an unbaptized child must take catechesis and make the baptismal promises himself.

5. The sacraments, including baptism, do what they are intended to do. They were instituted by Christ for his Church.

6. Baptism is more than an acknowledgment or affirmation of saving faith, it does the following:

a. Makes one a temple of the Holy Spirit;
b. Accesses sanctifying grace;
c. Conforms a person to the likeness of Christ;
d. Washes away sin (original sin);
e. Spiritually adopts a person as a son or daughter of our heavenly Father;
f. Incorporates us into the Catholic Church;
g. We become a Christian; and
h. The doorway to the sacramental life.
Ruth, on July 29, 2014 at 6:51 am said:

What does a rebellious catholic wife do if her husband does not seem to make her happy?

FATHER JOE: She should communicate clearly her needs to her husband.
Henry help, on July 29, 2014 at 6:01 am said:

My wife should be happy. She does not have to work. I work and provide for the family. I am faithful to her. She gets to do what she likes.

Some examples of her rebelliousness are as follows:
1. contradicting what we have decided on doing by doing the opposite.
2. complaining/criticizing of religious people without giving them a chance to explain.
3. trying to make things complicated during discussions—making it more like “lawyer-talk”. When I say something, she tries to add statements/conclusions which I have not said and suggests that I have bad intentions.
4. refusing sexual relations and if she does, she does it very grudgingly.

I have been praying hard but it may seem that this may be my cross.

FATHER JOE: If she contradicts what was decided then she was not forthright about any consensus. If she criticizes others, religious or not, without listening to the other side then she commits calumny. If her assessments of your views results in contrary statements then she does not believe you and questions your honesty. If she regularly refuses the marital act then she fails in a basic duty as a spouse. We are not talking here just about a rebellious wife, but about a bad or sinful one. A good wife is a true partner with her husband, respecting him as the head of the home as she is its heart. A good wife trusts her husband and places her confidence in him as a helpmate, protector and provider. A good wife is prayerful and gently admonishes her husband and children to worship God. A good wife is always eager for the marital act and looks forward to it as a means to foster fidelity with her husband and to cooperate with God in the creation of children.
Henry help, on July 29, 2014 at 12:22 am said:

What should a Catholic husband do when his Catholic wife is quite rebellious?

FATHER JOE: It depends as to what she is rebellious about. Remember, a husband’s primary duty is to make his wife happy.
Ruth, on July 28, 2014 at 4:13 pm said:

Oh goodness..I hope that what you said is true father..I wonder what the author of that website receives in return for publishing this material..if it’s false..scary..
Ruth, on July 28, 2014 at 4:36 am said:

Father I am confused, it’s because The Warning website keeps encouraging all to pray the Rosary and the Chaplet as a means of protection.

FATHER JOE: Then stop being confused and avoid the deception at the dangerous website. Anti-Catholics will encourage people to rightly read the Bible, but they are still in the wrong. Even prayer intentions can be exploited or corrupted in legitimate prayer devotions. As I said before, there is a lot of pretense in the jargon of the site. God does not speak the way that the messages portray. IT IS NOT FROM GOD.

Secondly it claims that the prophesy is what was supposed to be kept secret in the book of Daniel. It reveals the secret now through these messages.
Isn’t it the same as what is in the book of Daniel, that a person who is not supposed to be at the highest point on the alter will take throne and cause havoc?

FATHER JOE: You are taking them far too seriously. I am convinced that the website is fiction. Like the anti-Catholics, they target the Holy Father. The current Pope is Francis, not Benedict. The so-called prophesies are one of three things: efforts to exploit believers of money, the ramblings of a sick and demented mind, or distortions and lies of the devil (pretending to be an angel of light).

There are many more messages on different days. I am confused bcause this was first spread by a Catholic priest who made copies of these messages and distibuted them. Secondly, now a bishop has distributed copies of the crusade prayers included in those messages with his imprimatur.

FATHER JOE: Individual priests and bishops can be deceived, too. Also, the website itself might exploit materials that do not belong to them. Give me the name of the priest and bishop and I will investigate. Please note that there are also clergy who have breeched juridical union with the Church and the Magisterium, like Father Gruner of the FATIMA CRUSADER. He is a bad and disobedient priest who feigns holiness and lies about his faculties.

Please tell me what this whole thing is father, for when I see that the Pope supports gays, transgenders, becomes friendly with the people of Jordan Israel etc and calls Muslims his brethren, this only confirms to me that he is the False Prophet. Thanks a million in advance 🙂

FATHER JOE: The Pope has not changed one iota of the Church’s moral teaching. We have always left the ultimate judgment of souls to almighty God. We are called to love all our brothers and sisters. Indeed, Jesus told us to forgive our persecutors and to love our enemies. Jordan is the most tolerant country in the middle east toward Christians and the Pope has sought peace with the Moslems. We have no armies. It would be a sin to fan the flames of hatred and war. Catholics and others are suffering terribly at the hands of ISIS and radical Islamic fundamentalism. Palestinian Catholics are caught in the middle between the Jews of Israel and the Moslems (Hamas) of the Gaza. The Pope’s pleas for peace are not unique to Pope Francis but were also echoed by Benedict and John Paul. The website seeks a wedge between the two men where none exists. Do not be a fool. The website plays with the truth for its own purposes. It has absolutely no standing with the Church. If you follow it and accept the calumny against Pope Francis, then you have severed yourself from the saving TRUE Church. Maybe this is the purpose of the DEVILISH deception at the website?
Ana, on July 27, 2014 at 11:10 pm said:

Dear Father,

I have a couple prayer intentions if like you to please keep in mind.

Many young adults in my parish and general area are struggling with finding employment and housing. One friend is losing her job in a few days if she hasn’t already. I know from experience that God gives us what we need when we need it, but some haven’t much hope. Pray for them, please.

[deleted for privacy reasons]

Thank you, and God bless,
-Ana

FATHER JOE: Many prayers!
Stephanie, on July 27, 2014 at 8:08 pm said:

Dear Father,
Lately I’ve done something that I highly regret. My life was turning around for the worst, and I couldn’t hear God’s voice anymore. I became so frustrated and angry that I started to rip and tear pages out of my bible. I realize that my actions we’re very dishonorable, but what should I do now? How do I get right with God after doing that?

FATHER JOE:

1. You should tell God that you are sorry and if you are a Catholic you should take the sin to Confession. If the act was done to hurt or shock someone then you should make amends.

2. You need to come to grips with the personal issues and the emotions that moved you to such an act of destruction. Is there someone with whom you can talk or seek counsel?

3. If the Bible is effectively ruined then you should take it and bury it in the ground. You might say a few prayers along with the sign of reverence.
Maria, on July 27, 2014 at 6:45 pm said:

Hello Father Joe,

I have 2 different questions about annulments. 1) if a person who is living in the US was married and divorced in another country and needs to annul their marriage, do they need to start the process of annulment in the other country or can they begin the process in the US diocese they now live in? 2) if a catholic was married civilly and then divorced, do they still need to annul their marriage even though they were not married in the Church?

Thank you!

FATHER JOE:

The annulment process is usually begun in the diocese where the person is currently living.

If a Catholic were civilly married and divorced, they do not need a formal annulment, but must still apply for a declaration of nullity because of a lack of canonical form. The paperwork includes a deposition, baptismal certificate, marriage license and divorce decree.
Gary, on July 27, 2014 at 4:51 pm said:

Over 40 years ago my wife and I split up ( we are both Catholic and were married in the church). She got a divorce and has been remarried several times. There were two children now in their late 40’s. was married in a civil ceremony and left the Church. About 25 years ago I did some computer work for a parish in Michigan. I had long discussions with the priest about annulment. He began to show me how to go about it and he said I was a very good prospect for approval. During these talks he found out my present wife and I live together but do not sleep together. I won’t go into the reason but he said as long as there is no physical relationship that he could hear my confession and absolve me from adultery for the period we did have a relationship.and I would be welcomed back into the Church.. That is what I did and have been in the Church ever since. I am still happily celibate with my civil wife. I have talked to several priest since then about this and I have been assured this is ecclesiastically legal. I read you a lot and respect your answers.

Faithful Catholic

FATHER JOE:

You are essentially talking about the internal forum solution. It is often misunderstood, even by priests. It is no substitute for the canonical process which is the mechanism to regularize marriage situations. The fact remains that if one marriage is regarded as valid and binding; then the second marriage has no substance even with civil approbation. This is not fair to the would-be spouse in an “attempted” marriage. If possible, an annulment should be pursued. Without one, the married spouse is not free to marry again. Of course, people do anyway and this is your situation. After many years, if may be impossible to get an annulment due to the loss of documents, witnesses and/or a reliable case; then and only then will some pastors fall back upon internal forum. Several elements are involved:

1. Their marital status in the Church should not be generally known so as to avoid public scandal.

2. Past transgressions must be absolved in the Confessional.

3. Because there would be insurmountable problems with separation, they must live chastely as brother and sister. This means that the intimacy of spousal love and affection in all its forms cannot be shared. This must be maintained in all areas of modesty, including separate bedrooms. The couple must make a pledge or oath to this effect.

While they are cohabitating, they are no longer living as husband and wife. A priest, under these conditions, might allow such people to return to the sacraments. I knew such a case several years ago. The man and woman were in their nineties and did not want to die estranged from the Church.
Ruth, on July 27, 2014 at 4:26 pm said:

Hello Father,
How do I give up gluttony? I find it so hard!! especially when going out with friends..ooh I eat like a starved piglet. It’s bad for my health and is one of the 7 capital sins.
I have tried many times but failed.
This bothers me a lot. Please help.

FATHER JOE: Many of us struggle with an addiction to the fork and knife. We try diets, fasting, life-style changes, etc. I even have friends who have had surgery and use medications against appetite. All I can say is do not give up and know that God is always ready to forgive. In a world filled with secret sins, it is the one sin that we cannot hide. The waistline gives us away every time. I will pray for you. Pray for me.
Ruth, on July 26, 2014 at 3:59 pm said:

Father I too read that the Pope is a false prophet in the website http://www.thewarningsecondcoming.com. the antichrist has not yet been revealed but it says that the Pope will be the false prophet who will pretend to be good initially. It also says that the end of the world will be happening very soon. Now if many people are talking about the same thing there must be a reason why. I am very very confused that I have stopped praying for the Pope. And moreover, the things that happen nowadays..I really feel its high time it ends.

FATHER JOE: Keep praying for the Pope. Stay away from the THE WARNING website. It is not approved by the Church. God would not speak against the authority he established. Can you give me an exact quote where the Pope is attacked? Beware of scams and false visionaries on the Internet. Many are more interested in profits than prophets. The most dangerous challenges for the faith come from those who think they know better than the Church. Some of these sites and movements are the very evil and deception about which they supposedly warn about. Do not trust them. Calumny and sensationalism does not come from God. The site in question has an anonymous seer. This is offensive to Catholic sensibilities. God’s prophets do not hide in the shadows like the devil, but always proclaim the truth in the light. The danger from those who distort Catholic piety, devotions, sacramentals and even past devotions is incalculable. God gave the Church a visible Magisterium for a reason… to help us find the truth and to avoid the fakes.
Elizabeth, on July 26, 2014 at 3:50 pm said:

Hi Digs, I am glad to see that you are a seeker of truth. But you are still following the Catholic church teachings by worshiping on Sunday; there isn’t one verse in the bible that supports Sunday as the Sabbath of the Lord. Like father Jose says, the church has the power to change the law of God: Daniel 7:25 And he shall speak great words against the most High, and shall wear out the saints of the most High, and think to change times and laws: and they shall be given into his hand until a time and times and the dividing of time. “Protestants . . .accept Sunday rather than Saturday as the day for public worship after the Catholic Church made the change . . But the Protestant mind does not seem to realize that in accepting the Bible, in observing the Sunday, they are accepting the authority of the spokesman for the church, the Pope.”-Our Sunday Visitor, February 5, 1950. I hope you keep seeking for truth!

FATHER JOE:

Of course, the Catholic Church was preaching the Good News and living out the sacramental life before there was a New Testament or a complete canon for the Bible. Christians gathered on the Lord’s Day to celebrate the Supper of the Lord and his resurrection. The charges here are common from cult variations of the SDA. The movement from the Hebrew Sabbath to the Sunday Observance came quite naturally and in response to the gravity of Christ and his redemptive work. Jesus signifies a new Genesis or re-creation. We are restored to the likeness of God (by grace). The Catholic Church substantiated this move because it was the original and true Christian “church” established by Jesus Christ.

The Great Saturday or Sunday Sabbath Debate:
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6
Genia, on July 26, 2014 at 3:20 pm said:

The Pope is the false prophet. Joe VanKovering tells who the Antichrist is in YouTube video, unveiling the man of sin. You really need to check this out.

FATHER JOE:

Back in 2007, Dr. Joe VanKoevering published a book entitled, Unveiling the Man of Sin. The biblical exegesis is not to be trusted. Isaiah 10:24 is wrongly used to assert that the antichrist is an Assyrian. He next looks to Daniel 11 to argue that he will come from Jordan and conquer both Egypt and Israel. Supposing that the figure must be a prince and the King of Babylon, he points the finger at Prince El Hassan bin Talal.

This is a terrible slander against a good man who urges toleration and peace:

http://www.cnewa.org/blog.aspx?ID=1812&pagetypeID=35&sitecode=HQ

“In a region and world of increasing polarization and intolerance, Jordanian Prince El Hassan bin Talal has for decades been a beacon of tolerance and understanding in the Middle East. As founder and chair of the Royal Institute for Inter-faith Studies and Co-founder and chair of the Foundation for Interreligious and Intercultural Research and Dialogue, Prince Hassan has been the voice of conscience where conscience is being drowned out by religious extremism. He is also, not insignficantly, a descedent of the Prophet Muhammad.”

“Muslims are often criticized for not speaking up against the atrocities that are being committed in the name of Islam. Such criticism, while understandable, seems totally unaware of the incredible work the Prince has done for decades. Yesterday he issued a statement, co-signed by several other religious and secular leaders in the region, condemning violence in the name of religion.”
Charles, on July 24, 2014 at 3:06 pm said:

Hello Father

I’m in a dilemma and need some guidance. I have a friend whom I’ve known practically my whole life and is more of a brother to me than my actual brothers. He is gay and I do accept that, even if I don’t necessarily agree with it.

Anyway we live in a state where same sex marriage is legal and he and his partner have decided to go to the court house to “make it legal”. He has asked me as his best friend to be his witness at the ceremony.

If I support my friend, is it a sin? He really does have no one else in his life other than his partner and I do want to help him. Thank you.

FATHER JOE:

A sense of brotherhood is a special gift of friendship and this is commendable. But given that the Church does not recognize same-sex unions, it would be difficult for you to take an active part in the ceremony without compromising yourself. The very nature of a witness is to signify that a true marriage did indeed take place. Catholics would struggle with several points of the scenario you mention:

1. While a Catholic could witness to a heterosexual marriage between two non-Catholics (not married before) before a civil magistrate; it would be problematical if there is a prior bond or if one of both are Catholics. (Catholics must be married before a priest or deacon).

2. The Church would not recognize a same-sex marriage as valid. Does it give scandal if a Catholic witnesses something which the Church would judge as invalid and sinful?

I suspect it is point two that brings you to ask the question here. Is there a way to let your friend know that you love him even if you cannot publicly affirm his lifestyle and bond? Would he judge that as a personal renunciation? Could you explain that you have wrestled with the issue and feel that it would call into question certain moral values of your own?

A good response might be to say, that as much as you would like to do so, you are unable to participate. There is probably no good answer. Certainly you would not want to be hurtful. But evidently you are a practicing Catholic and this might give public scandal (giving recognition) and/or be interpreted as formal dissent from Church teaching.
Tony, on July 24, 2014 at 2:07 pm said:

Dear Father,
I work as a manager in a company. It happens many times that I give my opinion in an employee saying that he is not doing his work in a good way or he could be much better . Knowing that the employee is a good person and he does not do a harm to anyone, the owner of the company takes the decision to stop him from work just because he is not doing his job very well. As I manager in the company, my duty is to do so, but as a christian, I am always confused about it. Please advise.
Many thanks
Tony

FATHER JOE: Work evaluations are necessary but difficult, especially because we do not want to hurt or wrong others. There are issues beyond our control. Termination should always be the absolute final alternative. It seems to me that the immediate objective is honest and effective work productivity. That requires open dialogue with employees that respect their talents and treats everyone with justice. Sometimes companies even move people around to find their best fit, but not everyone can do this. Some hurt in these situations is unavoidable.
Dellenite, on July 22, 2014 at 4:35 pm said:

I’m cool with that, that human beings have dignity, speaking of can you say some prayers for my father, he is old and dying from cancer, I see the disease take away his body and dignity day by day. Can God do something good with this? I bet if anyone can bring good from awful He can.

FATHER JOE: I will keep your father in my prayers and remember him at Mass. I will pray for you and the family, too. My father passed in 2000 after a long period of being an invalid. It is very hard. I sympathize. My father saw the final struggle as his part in Christ’s passion. That is about all we can do. Let him know you love him. Blessings.