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NEW MESSAGES/HOMILIES CHRISTIAN REFLECTIONS DEFENDING THE FAITH















































Do you or Do you not support Corporal Punishment of Children? Would it be a Sin If I refused to spank a child? Society seems to still support it. But Do I have to follow their discipline plans even at the expense of my conscience, and the cost of my relationship with my children? The only reason I am asking you is because, so many people Use the Bible to support hitting their children in the name of God. Thanks.
My husband and I had a civil union in 2004, but we had been living together since 2001 and have a son together. After so many years of being unhappy and feeling I didn’t love him, but being forced by my parents to stay with him, I finally decided to leave him about 3 years ago. I have been a sinner all my life and even more so when I separated from my husband. I know that cohabitating while unmarried by the Catholic Church is a grave sin, and I had sexual relations with another man while I was separated.
Now that I want to turn my life around, my husband and I have gotten back together and have been cohabitating for about 2 years now. I have realized that I had it all with him, and I’m not talking about money because we always lived paycheck to paycheck. We’ve been trying to plan a religious ceremony and a wedding celebration since we got back together, but something always happens and we have to keep pushing the wedding further and further. I have talked to my husband many times and I really just want to get married so we don’t keep living in sin, but he wants to have a big party the day we get married by the church. I have told him we can get married and have a huge party later on and renew our vows then. He says it’s not going to be the same when people find out we have already had a religious ceremony and are only renewing our vows with a big party. I have told him no one has to know, though I don’t know if that is right either. I want to start doing the right thing and be a good Catholic in the eyes of God. He doesn’t agree with me and in the meantime we will keep living in sin until the wedding.
Is it possible to live separate from each other in the same house and stop having sexual relations until the wedding in 9 months? He says he is okay with that. Would we be able to confess and take Communion at mass? What if we die tomorrow without having been married by the Catholic Church or having taken communion at Mass. Is there no salvation for us? Or are we already lost souls because of how we, especially I, have sinned deeply before marriage? Are we the fornicators who will have no place in Heaven no matter if we repent?
Fr. Joe and Grace: thank you for your support of children at mass. Although I do not think children should run amok in church, I feel that children should be welcomed there. Can the Church not see that young parents are leaving Catholicism for this very reason? Unfortunately, I belonged to such a church. Example: a few years back, my son-in-law who was an army officer, recent Iraq veteran and also a recent convert. He, our daughter and their very excited 3 yr old daughter had come early to Christmas Eve Mass to listen to the choir sing carols. We were all so happy to be together, especially as Jeff can not always be there on holidays. But even before mass began, a parishioner turned loudly to him and said “You’re going to have to learn to control your child.” Since then, both my son-in-law will not go to that church. It put a pall on our whole celebration. Father has glared at parents, and on at least one occasion, ordered a mother to take her child out – even though we do not have a “cry room.” This is not the place for me, either. I am now searching for another parish.
Dear Father Joe, i have one burning question to ask you. Please answer me this soon. We all saw what gates do. He invests in population control plans, which is really sick. So, should i write comments and try to inform people about that, and seek boycott? Do I have to spread news so less and less money would be given to that sick plans? Are we all supposed to do that? Do I have to inform about illuminati and other occult stuff (like apple selling it’s first computer for triple 6 number of dollars) and seek for boycott there? Answer me….
I try to stay anonymous. Im sorry for not giving my real name.
I came from a small family where my mother felt that it was posh to to have as few kids as possible. When I was growing up in my parish, kids never misbehaved in church partly because of good parental control and partly because the ‘more active’ ones were banished to the playground outside the church whilst Mass was going on. My parents were amongst those who chose the easier path when dealing with unruly kids – out to the playground. It wasn’t exactly an order but more a tacit approval.
I grew up and went on to have a big family. Whenever we returned to my home parish, my mother squirmed with embarrassment as my husband and I marshalled our kids into church and struggled to hear mass in the midst of spankings, furtive threats and muted whines and…the occasional temper tantrum. My mother was embarrassed if anyone commented on the number of kids we had – simply because almost everyone in that parish had 1 or 2 or none.
When the Cry Room was introduced in my home parish, the Parish priest firmly told parents to make use it of if their kids kicked up a fuss. This was a beautiful church, filled with expensive paintings and quality furniture donated by wealthy church members. My mother was very proud of it. But we felt cold and unloved amongst all those well-dressed, well-heeled congregants who gave us discreet glares or stiffened up whenever any of our kids decided to make known their frustrations. And at that time, my kids were under the age of 2.
So, to make things easier on us, we never visited on a weekend so there would be no need for Mass there.
The parish I’ve belonged to since marriage is a very big one, with a good mix of poor and rich. While the glares are soemtimes still there for those with kids, the support from the rest overides all else. It’s a noisy mass every time. Ever so often, I used to turn to those seated behind us, after mass, and apologise for my unruly kids ‘disturbing’ their concentration.
And the response I always got was a comforting pat and a “Don’t you worry; let kids be kids. It did not trouble us at all.” And this came from grandparents, parents and single people.
And even when swatting a fat bum or glaring at a recalcitrant scowler, my husband and I managed to follow the mass well.
I have a question and I do not want to start a war, but I still have to ask. When I attend Mass, I would like to pray and hear the Mass. I have yet to hear an entire mass (except Midnight Mass on Christmas) without screaming, running and crying children. I have had to quit praying on more than one occasion because a child was jumping on the pew and kneeler, and the mother was sitting nearby. During Ash Wednesday last year, some kids who should have really known better were doing tumbling in the aisles. What is the rule of children in Mass and isn’t there any Mass that I could attend that are kid free? Am I expecting too much to want to hear Mass and pray in relative quiet?
Father, wasn’t Mary taken up into heaven like Elijah? Therefore she never physically died?
What I read, according to the Bible, is that Mary is not a deity although we cannot dismiss the fact that she is highly favored by God.
Her intercession to Jesus was made when she was still alive. It is very clear that Mary is now dead and she can no longer hear our prayers— for the simple fact that she is not deity.
We can ask for intercession only from living saints— priests, the faithful, elders and those who walk with God.
Father Joe: if your loved one is cremated, but the ground is frozen preventing burial until spring, can the family keep the remains at home until then?
(Hi Fr. Joe, hope you don’t mind my replying to her post too)
daughter of God,
Sorry you’re dealing with this. I learned that an old rule for priests at Mass is for him to not touch anything with his thumb and forefingers, since he would hold the Host with them, using only his remaining three fingers for everything else, including holding the Chalice, like what Father was saying. That could explain the odd placement of his hand on your face. However, I also have never heard of this face-holding thing. Does he just do it with you, or does he hold everyone’s face like that? Have you asked him about it?
Yes, good point. Thank you for your counsel Fr. Joe.
Will God banish u or send u to hell for smoking weed??
Thank you for your reply. Actually it is the same priest that does it, he cradles my cheek with his pinky, ring and middle finger while placing the Host on my tongue. It makes me feel very uncomfortable. I stick my tongue out far and try to avoid his grabbing mu cheek but he does it each time. I have never had it happen with other priests and it seems improper. I wanted to know if there are rules about administering Communion. For instance, I never see Pope Francis do it.
I would like to know if it is proper for the priest to touch the cheek when administering Communion. I am greatly offended when this happens, it interfered with my reception and all the preparation I did to preserve my purity and then here comes a big hand touching my face without permission. I feel violated. Is it a touch if lust? Questions clouding my mind when I am about to receive my Lord. Please tell me it is not proper.
Thank for resounding father.
I’m catholic and he is baptist. He is able to work. His an ex NFL player is hoping to go back and play football again. I’m trying to be a as supportive as I can. He also plays arena football but it’s only 3/4 months and he does get paid for that. But I guess don’t know if it’s wrong to leave him as we have been through a lot and be by his side as he follows his dreams.
I’m engaged. I’m happy. But now the one thing is that my fiancé doesn’t work and is always asking for things, like money and stuff. He is 30 and has never worked in his life. I work and still take care of my son from a previous marriage. I know that in the Bible it said no work no food.
Dear Father, I am seeking for advice that comes from my religion. I am a Catholic and a Filipino. I want to get married but my girlfriend and I don’t have enough money budgeted for a church wedding. We are looking for a civil wedding but based on our faith, this wedding doesn’t have a blessing from our Lord God. Is it possible that we can get married through a civil wedding and after that go to our parish priest to bless us as a couple? Can we have our honeymoon then? Please give me an advice. Thank you and God bless.
I think I have OCD and scrupulosity. I read an article about this from Jimmy Akin and he writes, ‘Merely having a thought occur to you is not a sin, no matter how bad the thought it. At most, having the thought occur to you is just temptation. It only becomes sin if you endorse it with your will. But the fact that you clearly do not want these thoughts and that you oppose them means that you are not consenting with your will (CERTAINLY not in the fully human way needed to commit a mortal sin).’
http://jimmyakin.typepad.com/defensor_fidei/2005/04/a_crown_of_thor.html
I often have thoughts that if I touch something like a tap, keyboard and other items, or download or don’t download something that I will be with the Devil or in fire after I die for example. This may sound crazy but I find it very annoying and upsetting and I just wondered that if I think I should touch something and think I will be with the Devil if I don’t, and then I decide not to touch that thing, does that mean I am endorsing that thought with my will and am commiting sin?
Fr. Joe
I once shared that I’ve been going to counseling for some things that happened in the past. I’d suspected that I have Dissociative Identity Disorder (previously mislabeled as Multiple Personality Disorder), and I’m growing more convinced that’s the case.
It’s confusing, working all this out, but I have a very good counselor to help me. However, there’ve been some things that’s been bothering me about it, spiritual things. My counselor is Christian, but not Catholic. Meanwhile, the priest I normally talk to has only recently been ordained, and this is might be a bit too complicated. So, I wanted to hear what a more experienced priest like yourself would say first.
One spiritual issue is, with my mind dis-integrated like this, split up in distinctive, separated parts, what does that mean for my soul? One part passionately hates God for allowing my uncle to hurt me, while the main part (the one talking to you) loves God and wants to do His Will.
This brings us to the other thing; this part relives the abuse from the past, stuck at that time, through compulsive masturbation. It’s always afterwards that the I, the main part, am back in control, that I fully realize where I am and what I’ve done. I’ve been wrestling with this issue for such a long time now. I don’t want to give myself (or her, whatever) permission to do it, as I firmly believe what the Church teaches, that sex belongs in marriage for love and life, neither of which happened with my abusers, nor in those nightmarish moments. However, the more I confess about it, the more I seem to do it. It’s like I’m a mother forced to watch my 10-year-old do these things, blaming herself, blaming God, and I feel helpless how to guide her away from all this. My counselor told me to not have guilt over it when I do it, and I get a similar sort of message when I pray about it, but it’s still a sin; shouldn’t I feel remorse for my sins? After all, in today’s Gospel Jesus said that impurity and sin comes from within, not outside. I couldn’t help but cry when I heard that.
I know this is all very complicated stuff, but I’d appreciate any input/prayers.
God bless,
-Ana
Regarding the census in the OT, the topic was covered on the Archdiocesan Blog here:
http://blog.adw.org/2012/02/whats-so-sinful-about-a-census-and-why-did-israel-get-punished-for-something-david-did/
It seems to me that the answer there neglects one important facet: that God asked for the census, then David felt guilty (why?) and God punished him (why?). Others have explained this by saying that the “he” in the passage asking for the census refers to Satan, and not God, usually referencing 1 Chronicles 21.
Dear Father Joe, this is not a usual question but necessary at least. Please bear with me as I am being completely serious. Most people never have a revelation with God in my understanding. Sometimes things happen that are unexplainable by logic. In my understanding however, I have seen multiple times the works of God. These are minor and I am only a teenager so these are kind of petty but…
1. For a couple of days before, I doubted my faith as a Catholic. I am by nature a legalistic and logical person and I had been voicing my doubts regarding the Scriptures. I am a competitive player on game consoles and have a certain standard of play. When I underperform, I know something is wrong. I began to play badly at the same time as when I doubted my religion. Almost as if by magic, after a couple of days I renounced what I had said and instantly had started to do better.
2. I have a TV that takes normally 35-40 minutes to turn on due to a capacitor issue. It has taken 100 clicks of the remote to turn it on. One day I tried once and it did not work. After sitting in prayer for almost five minutes I tried again with faith and it turned on for the first time ever on the second try. This would not be important if it wasn’t the first time.
3. This is by far the most awkward but shocking. I had been pondering the thought of something that I as an immature child had stolen. I had thought that I had never been caught and the person had not known. This was true, but after I had left a room for 15 minutes, I returned to the room: on my computer screen which was completely blank, went to a picture of the item. This would have taken multiple steps to get there so I’m sure there was no accident involved. Plus, no one was around. It was almost as if God had said, “I had witnessed it, and I have not forgotten.”
Many other things have happened before also such as me having certain feelings about things and them coming to life. One day I awoke thinking of someone dear to me, to find out later that day that they had passed away. These may just be coincidence, and I hope they are, but I feel as if there is no way.
Please reply telling me your thoughts, and I am sorry for the length of the comment.
Thank you for the response regarding my previous question about acting. A week ago I landed a small role (only 2 lines) in a film that is really raunchy comedy. My scene is fine, but the movie itself is full of vulgarity. Should I go through with this role since my scene isn’t vulgar, or would you advise I drop out of this film due to the overall vulgarity?
Hello Fr. Joe: Can you give me some insight as to why taking a census is so often regarded as evil in both the old and new testaments? King David surly took it on the chin and the census call that brought Mary & Joseph to Bethleham didn’t end well for all the innocents slaughtered. This has always bothered me and I wonder what the lesson is to be learned here. Thanks, and may God bless you and your work.
Dear Father Joe
I am having such difficulties with trying to cope with Anti Catholic bigots on a Chat channel called #scripture on Undernet and I was wondering if you could help me. They are so extreme and spend hours daily decrying Pope Francis who is the False Prophet. I am not able to deal with this in a nice way so wondered if you could help. I found you by accident, I am reading some of your writings on the topic. Thank you.
Is it a sin to commit sinful acts as an actor in a play/movie? I am very passionate about acting and would like to pursue it as a career. This question is the only thing that is holding me back. While I personally don’t think committing sinful acts as part of a performance has any negative effect on my personal and spiritual life, I would still like to be absolutely sure that I am not committing a sin here. Thank you and God bless!