Ask a Priest

5,433 Responses

Kathleen C.Smith, on March 10, 2012 at 12:25 pm said:

Just came across your site in looking for Information on Father Luby! Is there any movement for calling him Blessed! I truly believe his blessing in 1986, while not curing my child kept her healthy. Reading your blogs I think you also are a holy man! God bless you and keep you and may He intercede in the crisis of faith being witnessed by ‘catholics’ in government, and by our current president. God bless our country and keep her in His favor.

Father Luby prayed over me in my daughters name at St. Leo’s church in Fairfax in 1986 and I fell. I truly felt at peace. My daughters disease could have been so much worse and had many, many problems in these ensuing years. She is still doing very well, even though all indications are she should have been more seriously ill. Her recent battery of tests have remained pretty static, from when she was 4! She is now 29.

FATHER JOE: Fr. Lubey married my parents and baptized me. We have a picture of him placing me as an infant on the altar at Holy Ghost in Issue, MD, and praying that I might become a priest. The day before he died, he saw my invalid father. He had hoped to see me one last time but I was out. God had given him the grace of knowing his time had come. He was a good and holy man. He insisted that all priests were healers; nevertheless, there was a special quality about him. While not known as a flashy preacher, people were mesmerized by his steady and gentle voice. A short man, and elderly, it was not easy to lay hands on others for healing. In many ways the healing and release from pain he brought to others was denied to him. He felt it was his calling and many sought him out. He would not deny them, even as his health deteriorated. There have been many imitators since, good men who make a difference and find the ministry rewarding. But with Fr. Lubey, one always had the sense that he did not so much choose this special ministry as it selected him. He felt it was a blessing to be so used by God, even if it meant that he might have to further embrace the Cross. He has been gone quite awhile now. The same age as my deceased father, who used to drive him around in the 1950’s and functioned as his sacristan and server, they would both be turning 95 this year.
Tim Malone, on March 9, 2012 at 3:58 pm said:

If marriage is so important then why are you or other priests as well the Pope himself not married? If marriage were good enough for St. Peter then why is it not good enough for you? You place too much importance on sex and make women like Lori feel guilty as she is not able to participate in a loving sexual relationship. You suggest that she submit to her husband and that would be nothing short of a coerced sexual act if not Rape. Joe you are frankly not qualified to dispense any advice, especially on sex, remember you are celibate. No one would want to have sex with you any way as you look so repugnant.

FATHER JOE: Tim, I would be remiss if I did not first take you to task for your disrespect to the priesthood and to me personally. We might disagree but you attack the person instead of addressing with any coherence the ideas proposed. Second, my response was very tentative to Lori given that many pertinent details were not known. Your categorization of consensual congress between spouses as “rape” is very much off the mark. It may be that you are the one who fails to appreciate the importance of the marital act in the Christian covenant of marriage. Third, just because the Holy Father and most bishops and priests (like me) are celibate does not mean that we fail to appreciate the dynamics of marriage and human sexuality. What we know and teach comes down to us through God’s revelation, the natural law and the experiences of our people (most of whom are married). We are not the fools you make us out to be.

I wonder if your face were plastered on the internet, how many would find it attractive? It often amazes me how “anonymous” commentators can be so incredibly nasty on the internet. They seem to delight in a “hit-and-run” terrorism on message boards and blogs. Of course, they are often shocked by how internet protocol numbers can quickly reveal the identity of such villains in the U.S. (and Canada), subjecting them to scrutiny and rebuke for misbehavior.
Pip, on March 4, 2012 at 8:40 pm said:

What’s the difference between the Old Testament and the New Testament? 10 to 2! God gave Moses 10 Words, but Jesus reduced them to 2. THE WORD OF GOD IS JESUS MESSIAH MANIFESTED.

FATHER JOE: I am so tired of dealing with fundamentalism and the accompanying ignorance. The two commandments of Christ do not replace the Decalogue; rather, they are a summary that speaks to the spirit of the law: love of God and love of neighbor.

In John 2:13-22 Jesus gives the “kiss of death” to the Temple system.

FATHER JOE: Certainly our Lord was making reference to the temple of his body. No longer will there be a need to sacrifice animals at the old temple; as the high priest he will offer up the temple of his body as the oblation to redeem us from the bondage to sin. His sacrifice will accomplish what all the sacrifices of old sought to do but could not do— heal the breech between heaven and earth.

In John chapter 4 Jesus tells the Samaritan woman that He is finished with ritualized religion, Jewish & Samaritan.

FATHER JOE: Jesus says nothing of the kind. Indeed, his use of the Jewish Pasch details the institution of a new ritual where he offers himself behind the appearances of bread and wine. He tells his apostles at the Last Supper to “do this in remembrance of me.” The Lord is the new Lamb of God. His supper or the Eucharist is forever entwined with his saving death on the Cross. Samaritans like the ancient Jews thought that sacrifice to God of animals or grain could be accomplished anywhere. The Jews of our Lord’s time insisted that such oblations had to be conducted by a priestly class at the temple. Jesus merely prophesizes that one day true worship will be offered where ever believers gather in the world. This is realized in the Catholic Church. The one true sacrifice of Jesus is re-presented in an unbloody way with all the Masses celebrated around the globe. “But the hour is coming, and is now here, when true worshippers will worship the Father in Spirit and truth; and indeed the Father seeks such people to worship him” (John 4:23).

In 1 Corinthians 6:19; 2 Corinthians 6:16; 1 Peter 2:1-12 we are told that WE who are IN Christ have NOW become the Temple of God, the Priesthood of God and offer Spiritual Sacrifices to God.

FATHER JOE: The Church is composed of a new people, a royal priesthood. The Holy Spirit lives in us as in a temple. We join our crosses to the Cross of Jesus. We participate with our priests at Mass. We are the recipients of heavenly mysteries. There is no conflict between our common baptismal priesthood and ordained priests who shepherd the community as “ministers of reconciliation.”

In John 19:30 Jesus spoke the Words that was the “Death knell” of the sacrificial system!

FATHER JOE: When Jesus said, “It is finished,” he meant the accomplishment of his Father’s will. His death is redemptive and makes all the difference. However, it signified the start, not the finish of the sacramental system. Jesus dies once and for all. He will never die again. The only thing missing from Christ’s self-offering was our participation. The Eucharist allows us to sacramentally offer ourselves with Jesus. Just as we ask that bread and wine might become his body and blood; we beseech God to transform us ever more into the likeness of his Son. We must be transformed by the Cross. The effects of Jesus’ saving act permeate all human history. The sacraments give us special access to his paschal mystery. Christ is not killed again in the Mass. Rather, it re-presents his one-time act of sacrifice so that we who were born later in time and even in distance from Calvary might fully benefit from its graces. All the sacraments are empowered by the Holy Spirit and bring us into contact with Christ’s suffering, death and resurrection. This was Christ’s intent and why he gave his command to the apostles to perpetuate the Lord’s Supper. A covenant cannot be renewed with fake blood. Every good Jew knew this. Jesus meant what he said when he referred to the cup as his blood and the transformed bread as his body.

The Old Testament system is FINISHED!

FATHER JOE: Yes, the Old Testament system is finished but there is continuity with the New Testament. The early Jewish Christians continued to pray in the synagogues until they were expelled. Then the liturgy of the Word would be attached to the supper of the Lord, just as we see today. Our bibles include both testaments because God does not forget his promises. There is one covenant between God and his people. Jesus is the fulfillment of that covenant.

Religion is FINISHED!

FATHER JOE: There was a book written many years ago which argued that Catholicism or Christianity was the end of religion. Traditionally we refer to the faith as true religion. But what the author meant was that faith in Christ is radically different from anything that came before— Jesus is the revelation of the father— his sacrifice is real and eternal.

Now we have access to the Holy of Holies 24/7 – 365 days of the year, as it was in the Garden before the Fall. (Hebrews 12:18-29)

FATHER JOE: Well, yes and no. Certainly our Lord is very intimately present: in his Word, in his Sacrament, and in the Mystical Body of the Church. However, we do not see him face-to-face. As our Lord remarked in reference to doubting Thomas, “Blessed are those who do not see and believe.” This is precisely why the sacraments are so very important. Our Lord knew that we needed something tangible on which to hold. He instituted the sacraments as sacred signs to convey invisible realities and to give grace. Just as with the early Church, our Lord reveals himself to us in the Breaking of the Bread.

The Jews realized that and that was one of the reasons THEY had Him killed!

FATHER JOE: Jesus was killed because darkness always seeks to destroy the light. Jesus was condemned by his own people because they could not accept that he was God’s Son, indeed, God come down from heaven to save his people. He is charged with blasphemy and condemned to death as a liar. His resurrection will vindicate him from the foul charges of his enemies.

The Pagans realized that the Gospel Paul was preaching was the “kiss of death” to their religious system and that is why they were trying to kill him (Acts 19:21-41).

FATHER JOE: Much of the persecution that Christians would face was because of their evangelization and resistance to pagan worship. These martyrs were all Catholics and are remembered as saints of the Church.

The Holy of Holies – In the Holy of Holies, behind the heavy veil. Sat the Ark of the Covenant, where the most High dwelled. And only the high priest could enter there in, to offer a sacrifice for atonement of sin. But the veil was rent in an instant, revealing that Holy place. For on a hill nearby on a rugged cross. Justice met grace.

(chorus)

Now I can go into the Holy of Holies. I can kneel and make my petition known.

I can go into the Holy of Holies and although I’m just a common man, because of God’s redemption plan. I can boldly approach the throne.
The blood of sacrifices is no more required. For the blood of Christ, the spotless lamb has already paid the price. In the sacrifice of worship we’ll open Heaven’s door. Allowing us to enter in, the presence of the Lord.

QUESTION: So why ALL the religion in Christendom?

ANSWER: 2 Thessalonians 2:1-12

FATHER JOE:

When Jesus whipped the money-changers from the temple, he was not denigrating the significance of their rituals, but rather that they should come to offer true and heartfelt worship. Those who had reduced their involvement to the exchange of coins and buying and selling had displaced faith and piety with the love of money.

Our Lord made the Samaritan at the well a prophetess for her people. He prophesies that one day true worship and sacrifice will not simply be in Jerusalem, but where ever believers should gather. This prophesy is fulfilled in Catholic worship, utilizing the ritual he gave us at the Last Supper. The Mass is an unbloody or clean re-presentation of the one-time oblation of Jesus on the Cross.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20: “Do you not know that your own body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”

These words are an attempt by Paul to get his listeners to shun immorality. Catholicism likewise teaches that given our high dignity, we should be chaste and faithful to God. In baptism and faith, we became temples of the Holy Spirit. We were each anointed priest, prophet and king. The baptismal priesthood of believers is not the same as the ordained priesthood. The former is in reference to our embracing the Cross and to express a sacrificial love that is in solidarity with our Lord. The ordained priesthood is a sharing in the authority given to the apostles and a unity with Christ, the one high priest. It makes possible the celebration of the Eucharist and the ministry of reconciliation.

1 Peter 2:1-12: “Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ, To the exiles of the Dispersion in Pontus, Galatia, Cappado’cia, Asia, and Bithyn’ia, chosen and destined by God the Father and sanctified by the Spirit for obedience to Jesus Christ and for sprinkling with his blood: May grace and peace be multiplied to you. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! By his great mercy we have been born anew to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and to an inheritance which is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while you may have to suffer various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith, more precious than gold which though perishable is tested by fire, may redound to praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Without having seen him you love him; though you do not now see him you believe in him and rejoice with unutterable and exalted joy. As the outcome of your faith you obtain the salvation of your souls. The prophets who prophesied of the grace that was to be yours searched and inquired about this salvation; they inquired what person or time was indicated by the Spirit of Christ within them when predicting the sufferings of Christ and the subsequent glory. It was revealed to them that they were serving not themselves but you, in the things which have now been announced to you by those who preached the good news to you through the Holy Spirit sent from heaven, things into which angels long to look.”

Notice that Peter exerts his apostle over several communities. We already see signs of his universal jurisdiction as the first Pope. Christians are washed clean in the blood of the divine Lamb and are moved to obedience and sanctified by the Holy Spirit. Our Lord has promised his friends a share in his life. Jesus is our Messiah and Savior. He is the fulfillment of the law and the prophets. While we have the witness of the apostles, many have come to know and love Jesus although they have never seen him with their physical eyes. The Holy Spirit makes possible this saving faith. Apart from the Spirit of God there is no faith and no loving obedience. Spiritual sacrifices or taking up our crosses in no way subtracts or nullifies the sacrificial nature of the supper that Jesus gave his apostles and which he ordered to repeat in living memory (anamnesis) of him.

Christ is indeed the fulfillment of the promises given in the Old Testament, but his own sacrifice will have eternal consequences. He extends himself and his saving actions so that men and women of all places and times might encounter him and know his redemptive act.

John 19:30: “When Jesus had received the vinegar, he said, ‘It is finished’; and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.”

These words were not the death knell to the sacrificial system, merely to the sacrifices of old. Now all true worship and sacrifice will be in connection with the Cross. Christ’s passion and death bring to an end his redemptive oblation. This is what was finished. The price was paid. He dies that we live. He suffers so that we might know the joy of healing and unity with God in the kingdom. The Mass brings to our minds and hearts this saving mystery. Three days after being placed in the tomb, he raises himself from the dead by his own power. His resurrection vindicates him and his message. The one who has power over death and sin can also give efficacy to the sacraments and bring salvation to souls.

Christianity is true religion. It is the end of religion as it had ever been understood before. Now we can worship God in spirit and truth.

Hebrews 12:18-29: “For you have not come to what may be touched, a blazing fire, and darkness, and gloom, and a tempest, and the sound of a trumpet, and a voice whose words made the hearers entreat that no further messages be spoken to them. For they could not endure the order that was given, ‘If even a beast touches the mountain, it shall be stoned.’ Indeed, so terrifying was the sight that Moses said, ‘I tremble with fear.’ But you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to innumerable angels in festal gathering, and to the assembly of the first-born who are enrolled in heaven, and to a judge who is God of all, and to the spirits of just men made perfect, and to Jesus, the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks more graciously than the blood of Abel. See that you do not refuse him who is speaking. For if they did not escape when they refused him who warned them on earth, much less shall we escape if we reject him who warns from heaven. His voice then shook the earth; but now he has promised, ‘Yet once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heaven.’ This phrase, ‘Yet once more,’ indicates the removal of what is shaken, as of what has been made, in order that what cannot be shaken may remain. Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe; for our God is a consuming fire.”

Christ heals the breach inflicted by Adam and Eve. He is the bridge between this world and heaven. He is the kingdom, breaking into this world. Jesus is God among us. God comes to save his people. Paul exalts this great mystery and urges confidence in Jesus Christ. All earthly kingdoms, indeed all powers and principalities are subject to him. He is the source of our life and has taken his place at the right hand of the Father. He is our advocate, mediator and judge. Again, because of Jesus, his saving Cross and the institution of the Eucharist at his Last Supper— we can now offer to God acceptable worship.

It is true that Caiaphas spoke for the Jewish leadership in condemning Jesus for making himself God’s Son. They failed to discern the true identity of Christ. As for the pagan Romans and Greeks, Christianity can borrow accidentals from culture and even other religions, but at its heart it defies syncretism and religious indifferentism. It truly did mean an end to the old religions.

Acts 19:21-41: “Now after these events Paul resolved in the Spirit to pass through Macedo’nia and Acha’ia and go to Jerusalem, saying, ‘After I have been there, I must also see Rome.’ And having sent into Macedo’nia two of his helpers, Timothy and Eras’tus, he himself stayed in Asia for a while. About that time there arose no little stir concerning the Way. For a man named Deme’trius, a silversmith, who made silver shrines of Ar’temis, brought no little business to the craftsmen. These he gathered together, with the workmen of like occupation, and said, ‘Men, you know that from this business we have our wealth. And you see and hear that not only at Ephesus but almost throughout all Asia this Paul has persuaded and turned away a considerable company of people, saying that gods made with hands are not gods. And there is danger not only that this trade of ours may come into disrepute but also that the temple of the great goddess Ar’temis may count for nothing, and that she may even be deposed from her magnificence, she whom all Asia and the world worship.’ When they heard this they were enraged, and cried out, ‘Great is Ar’temis of the Ephesians!’ So the city was filled with the confusion; and they rushed together into the theater, dragging with them Ga’ius and Aristar’chus, Macedo’nians who were Paul’s companions in travel. Paul wished to go in among the crowd, but the disciples would not let him; some of the A’si-archs also, who were friends of his, sent to him and begged him not to venture into the theater. Now some cried one thing, some another; for the assembly was in confusion, and most of them did not know why they had come together. Some of the crowd prompted Alexander, whom the Jews had put forward. And Alexander motioned with his hand, wishing to make a defense to the people. But when they recognized that he was a Jew, for about two hours they all with one voice cried out, ‘Great is Ar’temis of the Ephesians!’ And when the town clerk had quieted the crowd, he said, ‘Men of Ephesus, what man is there who does not know that the city of the Ephesians is temple keeper of the great Ar’temis, and of the sacred stone that fell from the sky? Seeing then that these things cannot be contradicted, you ought to be quiet and do nothing rash. For you have brought these men here who are neither sacrilegious nor blasphemers of our goddess. If therefore Deme’trius and the craftsmen with him have a complaint against any one, the courts are open, and there are proconsuls; let them bring charges against one another. But if you seek anything further, it shall be settled in the regular assembly. For we are in danger of being charged with rioting today, there being no cause that we can give to justify this commotion.’ And when he had said this, he dismissed the assembly.”

Christ is our mediator. We are given an abiding hope in salvation, knowing that Jesus keeps his promises. We join our prayers to Christ’s. The story of our lives enters into the greatest story ever told, the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Jesus makes himself present to us in the mystical body of the Church, the Word of God and in the Blessed Sacrament. The figure has been replaced by the reality.

The only blood of sacrifice that now matters is the oblation of God’s Son. At every Mass we acclaim Jesus in the Eucharist as the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. Jesus has paid the price. The only thing lacking is our participation, joining our YES to his YES to the Father. Every time we come to Mass we ask that, just as the gifts of bread and wine will become Christ’s body and blood, that we too might remade more and more into the likeness our Lord. The Eucharist is Christ’s great gift to his friends, a foretaste on the banquet table that awaits us, the rations taken from that promised shore to which we travel as pilgrims.

Christ established his Church and the Holy Spirit has sustained and protected that community in his truth and grace for two thousand years. Christ wants us to have both a personal and corporate relationship with him. As for why there are so many denominations, particularly after the reformation, it has a lot to do with ignorance, the hardness of hearts and the politics of the world intruding itself into the life of the Church. The devil has also probably been sowing weeds in the wheat field, too.

2 Thessalonians 2:1-12: “Now concerning the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ and our assembling to meet him, we beg you, brethren, not to be quickly shaken in mind or excited, either by spirit or by word, or by letter purporting to be from us, to the effect that the day of the Lord has come. Let no one deceive you in any way; for that day will not come, unless the rebellion comes first, and the man of lawlessness is revealed, the son of perdition, who opposes and exalts himself against every so-called god or object of worship, so that he takes his seat in the temple of God, proclaiming himself to be God. Do you not remember that when I was still with you I told you this? And you know what is restraining him now so that he may be revealed in his time. For the mystery of lawlessness is already at work; only he who now restrains it will do so until he is out of the way. And then the lawless one will be revealed, and the Lord Jesus will slay him with the breath of his mouth and destroy him by his appearing and his coming. The coming of the lawless one by the activity of Satan will be with all power and with pretended signs and wonders, and with all wicked deception for those who are to perish, because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. Therefore God sends upon them a strong delusion, to make them believe what is false, so that all may be condemned who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness.”

The true Church of Christ under his visible Vicar has weathered the storms of history and the rising and falling of many empires. Today, as with threats to the religious liberty of the Church in the United States and elsewhere, we are certainly facing a lawlessness that would defile the marriage bed and human life itself. Pope Leo XIII spoke about this “strong delusion” from Satan that would bring unbelievable terror upon the world. We have since seen the extermination of millions of Jews and today of tens of millions of unborn children. Marriage is being redefined to include a perversion of the natural order. Cohabitation outnumbers marriages and egregious fornication destroys the value of purity and virtue. The Catholic Church stands with Jesus Christ, even as other churches accept the new morality and reject the truths of Scripture, tradition and nature, itself. Those who attack her are inadvertently doing the work of the very beast that they claim to oppose. The Catholic Church is the great sign of contradiction is a world that has forgotten God.

Notice that the poster omitted 13 to 17. Why? I suspect it is because they sound too Catholic. “But we are bound to give thanks to God always for you, brethren beloved by the Lord, because God chose you from the beginning to be saved, through sanctification by the Spirit and belief in the truth. To this he called you through our gospel, so that you may obtain the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. So then, brethren, stand firm and hold to the traditions which you were taught by us, either by word of mouth or by letter. Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word.”
Austin Carlile, on February 25, 2012 at 4:34 am said:

Do you ever feel as though it’s selfish of the human population to have this one, beautiful life laid in front of them, but instead of accepting it and loving it, we look forward to a more perfect, everlasting life that we are not even certain exists?

FATHER JOE:

It is true that we can know joy and beauty in this life. But, no one avoids pain. Further, some people have very hard lives. They suffer from physical and mental disabilities, crushing poverty, discrimation and so much more. They would certainly have every right to hope and pray for something better and more lasting.

The gifts we now know are only glimpses or a foretaste of the life and joy that await us. We are called to cherish all life as sacred. We can both appreciate our existence in this world and still look forward to life with the saints and a more full union with God.

Remember, the greatest joy and appeal for the world to come is the beatific vision. There will be no more signs and symbols. We will see God. Christians can work with atheists to make a more just and humane society. But such a preoccupation would not force us to abandon our hope in a hereafter.

Indeed, some atheists adopt a philosophy of selfishness and live only for themselves since they feel this is their single chance at life and they should grab as much pleasure and as many experiences as they can before the lights go out. Christians will suffer for the kingdom, in love for their fellow men and women but also knowing that everything this world takes away from us, God will give back. The Catholic teaching about purgation preserves our understanding of God as merciful. If there is no heaven and hell, then there is no justice and God would be a monster. Sometimes the innocent suffer and the guilty are happy with their exploitation and materialism. Without an afterlife, the scales could never be made right.

This matter of justice requiring divine judgment and life beyond the grave is another reason why some atheists become nihilists, arguing that the only logical answer is suicide. If creation and existence is futile and there is no ultimate meaning; then, they argue, it is best not to play the game at all. They refuse to participate in what they see as a cosmic joke. We will all suffer and die. Everyone we know will die. Societies will rise and fall and planets and suns will cease to be. Finally, everything will be in vain.

Without God and life after death, no one will remember you. Black holes and annihilation will consume everything. It will be as if we were never here at all.

The Christian says in regard to this: “No! I am not worm food! God is real and he desires for me to know and to love him. God loves me and has promised to share eternal life with me.” Ours is a good and personal God. To give us a desire for eternal life and then not to give us a means of achieving it would be monstrous. We are not cogs in a clock that somehow invented itself. We matter and what we do has eternal consequences.
Lori, on February 25, 2012 at 3:48 am said:

Father Joe,

My situation is a bit different than those already posted, and I’d very much appreciate your thoughts.

My husband and I have been married for 21 years and have 9 beautiful children. I have MS, finally diagnosed about 9 years ago, which has left me without any sexual desire, and with physical impediments that make the marriage act difficult and unsatisfying, though not physically impossible.

As I suffered severe complications after the births of our two youngest, we have not had sex for several years. He is 65 (I am 49), and he now suffers ED. Without my knowledge, he obtained ED drugs for himself, and he expects me to find some sort of medical solution for my lack of desire. My belief is that, if medical intervention is needed for him (for both of us) to perform an act that can no longer be procreative (as another pregnancy would be life-threatening) and that is, for me, both dreaded and physically difficult, then that act should no longer be part of our marriage.

He recently told me that he’d been happy for 14 years (with sex), and the last 6 years, not so much (without sex) – along with other comments, he made me feel that sex, or the prospect of having it, is what our marriage means to him. I suggested that we discuss the issue with a good priest, but, as he didn’t reply, I am looking for advice here.

Can you tell me if, given the age/health issues involved, Church teaching compels me to search for drugs to help me do something I’ve literally come to abhor? (Obviously, that has not always been the case, as is evident by the houseful with which I’ve been blessed!)

Thank you for your time – and God bless you!

FATHER JOE:

Lori, there are a number of questions to your situation which complicate any answer I would give you. How bad is the MS? Are you reaching or have you reached the natural end of your fertility? What is the degree of difficulty in fulfilling the marital act? What is the general status of your relationship?

It is bothersome that he obtained ED drugs without your knowledge. The passion, marital act and fertility should always be discussed within the shared dynamics of the couple. Within their dialogue, there is often recognition that one partner may have a level of need that is not shared by the spouse. Sexual congress is generally regarded as a right to which a spouse is due and which the beloved should try to fulfill in justice even if he or she suffers from a lack of sexual interest. Hopefully such is also accomplished as an act of love, not merely as a reluctant duty or to satisfy the beast.

Given that the marital act (sexual intercourse) consummates marriage as a sacrament, reflective of Christ’s covenant with his Church, there is a spiritual element that would be forfeited with it cessation.

Your health issues are a tough wrinkle because spouses must also be prudent and practice charity toward one another. Fidelity is still required, and chaste continence must be practiced, either temporarily or permanently, when a spouse is ill or can no longer effectively engage in the marital act. Some men and women find this very difficult; the loss of such intimacy becomes a cross they must carry. Hopefully, these couples are also friends, finding satisfaction and unity through conversation, prayer and a shared life.
Drose, on February 25, 2012 at 12:58 am said:

Father, I’m having a problem with this kid (I’m not going to mention his name) but, I don’t know what to do. I went to high school with him and I always saw him getting picked on in every way verbally and especially physically. I never really hung out with him, or I should say I never hung around him at all. One day I saw him getting picked on and I remember telling the guys who were going to hit him (with a metal object), not to do it. To my surprise the kid whom I was stepping up for said, “I don’t need your help” and began to bother me for the next 3 years in high school. He would see me and punch me and run away.

The kid is a little slow but not retarded. I’m not trying to be judgmental but he looks like one of those geeks from some movies. I have never seen him with a friend; so my guess was that he punched me, but not hard, hoping that I would chase him and be his friend. In my head, however, I said this is childish— I’m not going to play along.

I graduated and moved on. However, I now see him in college and as soon as he sees me he follows me and sticks with me. Now, this does not bother me except for the fact that I have nothing in common with him. It feels as if I’m talking to a child when I talk to him. I don’t know how he did it, but he also got my number, which I did not give to him. He calls me multiple times a day and really has nothing to say. He insults me and calls me dumb. The minute I make one small joke about him (not jokes about his appearance or anything regarding disabilities or anything considered offensive) he gets sensitive and leaves. Today he called me and said, let’s hang out. I said I’m sick. I really am and he said you just don’t want to hang out with me like everybody else.

I need your advice. I know for a fact that he’s Catholic, but that doesn’t matter. Anyway, I know he needs a friend. I really know that but I feel that the minute I give him my friendship, he’s never going to leave me alone. I feel bad because I know he needs a friend; but, I feel he will annoy me. Help please!

FATHER JOE:

It sounds to me that he has never really developed the proper mechanisms for communication and making associations with others. There is a possibility of some form of autism, but that is just guessing. Do you know anything about his family and home life? You already acknowledged that class mates abused him. Such hurts can really affect us and leave lasting scars. He was bullied and mocked and so he relates the same way with someone who will not clobber him. You are right; he might mistakenly think that is how he can make a friend. It could be all he knows. He probably needs professional counseling but would probably interpret the suggestion as a personal attack. I have heard similar stories before.

There are many lonely and angry boys in this world suffering from poor self-esteem. Being his friend may not be easy, but you may be all he has. Yes, that is a burden and an annoyance. But, I would urge you to continue in trying to make a difference for him. If I were in your situation, I would brush aside how snobs might think of me because of an association with him. You can show a greater depth of character and compassion than such shallow people. I would also suggest that you really be his friend and try to discern something positive about him. Just feeling sorry for him is not sufficient. This young man does not need pity. He needs a friend who will look past his shortcomings and lend a helping hand in moving forward with life. Of course, only you can answer the question as to how you really feel about him and how much time and work you want to put into this relationship. The fact that you are writing on my blog about the situation makes me think that you are a good person struggling with responsibility in his regard. Try to be honest with him without sounding judgmental. One day he may be the friend that you need. Remember, even Mayberry’s Sheriff Andy Taylor had his friend, Deputy Barney Fife. (Do you watch classic television?)
Oliver Sykes, on February 23, 2012 at 10:50 pm said:

I do not believe in God but I have a question I’ve always wanted to ask a person of faith, who is a better person? The man who is a good person because that is God’s will and they are being offered the gift of heaven in the afterlife while also fearing eternal torment in Hell, or the man who is a good person just because it’s the right thing to do, even if they don’t necessarily believe in a god or any sort of afterlife. I don’t mean this to be offensive, it’s an honest question.

FATHER JOE:

It is a good question, but there is a false premise, because a person can both want a heavenly reward and still want to do the right thing because of an inherent goodness or sound moral character. There really need not be any contradiction. Having said this, the discussion could quickly turn to the defining of terminology. What does it mean to be a “good” person? The Church speaks about a healthy collaboration with non-believers of “good will” for a better and more just society.

The other issue is how do we determine what is or is not the right thing to do? Unless there is a commonly accepted understanding of natural law and the dignity of human life; there could be terrible conflicts in this regard. We are already facing this in respects to same-sex unions, contraception, abortion, euthanasia, embryonic stem-cell research, in vitro-fertilization, capital punishment, cohabitation and premarital sex, treatment of immigrants, racial preferential treatment in education, gender-based job opportunities, minimum wage versus a just wage, universal healthcare, just war questions, the use of nuclear weapons, self-defense parameters, etc. A religious person may give certain credence to the Decalogue and the message of Christ that would be in conflict with various secular values currently in vogue.

Believer or not, we are obliged to follow our conscience in making moral judgments. I would hope that a believer might be better equipped, but this in itself would not necessarily make him a better person.

A non-believer might not believe in an afterlife with judgment, but he would still face the fear of punishment from society in terms of our laws and incarceration, or just the social stigma we attach to various acts. Notice that I have not discussed this question in terms of ultimate salvation or the goodness that comes to a person because of the infusion of grace and the living out of the moral virtues. Christians are not pelagians; we cannot save ourselves or make ourselves spiritually good apart from the Lord. We can, however, cooperate with divine grace. That is a benefit a non-believer would not have.

It is a given that I would prefer people to know spiritual conversion and to live in the hope of salvation. Other than that, on a purely earthly level, the question is very subjective and individualistic. Lots of details would have to be filled in before there could be a realistic stab at an answer.
Paul Brann, on February 23, 2012 at 2:53 pm said:

Dear Fr Joe,

There are those who worry or challenge us and our position around the Saints and, of course, images of the same. As an ageing Catholic and one who had concentrated Catholicism rammed down his throat from a very young age, contrarily I yearn for more of it now.
The Arc of the Covenant was revered and decorated and given the most esteemed place in the Holy of Holies because it contained The Word of God. So too, in the New Times is Mary also The Arc of The New Covenant which also contained The Word of God made flesh.

Now the Patriarchs of old were very particular about worship of the One True God and would have stoned to death any wrong doer, so it is right to assume that the embellishments to their most holy possession, all clad in precious metals with the images of 2 Guarding Angels facing each other over it must have met well with their prohibition of worshipping false Gods. So too with Moses’ staff with the image of a serpent forged from precious metals and to that image those struck by snake bite would look up to and be healed.

In my experience there just isn’t enough of this ceremonial in The Church any more. We followed the Jewish tradition of fasting and ceremonial with Catholic Feasts allied to their Jewish ‘equivalent’ on many occasions, and with all the splendour of the dress and discipline from The High Priest down, but we have seriously ‘dumbed down’ that which used to be magnificent to understate much of what we believe and so as to not draw attention to ourselves.

I’m not sure what happens in the USA, but over here we used to have open air processions, and certainly with Holy Week and Easter on the horizon we, in England, used always to profess our faith by Public Exhibition. Certainly the seriously bad press of late has left a certain bad ecclesiastical taste in the mouth, and until the wounds heal and the public opinion reverts to mild confusion over our ceremonials rather than the current hostile reaction where we have all been branded as child molesters and serious sinners, we can just wait for that to pass and try to set a good example through good works.

But I miss all that even though as a child I hated it. And as for the New Translation of The Mass, I see it more as a harmonisation to the Protestant Eucharist Service, and even the other day, I had half an hour to kill and nipped into a Church of England church for a few minutes to say ‘Hello’ to my Maker, only to find a service in full flow, and, apart from certain serious differences with the theory, the essentials were almost identical.

I know that some critics have gone too far and suggested that Vatican ll was the start of the big apostasy that Our Lady of Sallette had warned about, but She was assumed into Heaven Body and Soul, she does have a really special place in The Heart of God, and she has appeared to us mortal men several times over the last 100 years or more and has always warned us to be faithful to her Son. That God should allow her to do that is significant, and that she had appeared and given warnings before the changes took place is also significant, to me at least.

There are still fundamental differences between the True Church of Christ and all the protestant derived factions that have sprung up over the last several centuries, and the biggest must be the True Presence of Jesus at the consecration at Mass, and the deepening division and difficulty in any reunion now with the appointment of women as ministers and so called bishops. But I feel that there is an air of capitulation for the sake of political correctness, and those who call themselves ‘Christians’ have, in reality, put themselves outside of the True Christian Church, that is The Roman Catholic Church, because they accept heretical beliefs and deny The Truth.

I believe that I have lost much of my identity as a Catholic, as a Roman Catholic, simply because My Church has become grey and less vibrant, has tried to keep its head below the parapet and has appeased too many in the process. I truly yearn for the time when there will be, yet again, public procession of the Eucharist, held aloft for public worship in the monstrance and covered by the canopy, proudly and publicly carried by four acolites and a pair of thurifers.

I yearn for the time when a Statue of The Blessed Virgin will be carried high so that the public can see that we pay rightful homage to the woman that God set apart from all others.

And I yearn for the reverence to return to our Churches when never would it be heard even a single whisper from the congregation as we awaited the presence of the Priest as a father and man of God. So many, these days, are wimps and apologisers rather than strong men and apologists.

And I yearn for the return to the disciplines that used to set us apart from ‘the rest’ of untamed society. The Bishops of England have decided to reintroduce the Friday abstinence which makes us all think about that special day. We have started Lent and I have, yet again, adopted the bread and soup (600 calorie a day) starvation diet that I have managed to stick to over the last few years. If our fellow Muslims can manage Ramedam for a whole month without food or water for the whole of the day, I’m sure that committed Christians can better that. Not to be proud of it, but not to apologise for it. Anyway my motive for fast is not entirely holy as I know that I need to loose weight and so, to some extent, my sacrifice is less than others, but never the less my adopted daughter is also joining me in the struggle and it’s even more difficult for her being, not only the only Catholic in her year, but sadly the only Christian in her year of about 40 students.

Although neither Baptised or instructed in the Catholic Church she describes herself as “Catholish” rather than “Catholic-lite”, and my hope and prayer is that by my example as a single foster parent, and a committed Catholic, I might just be able to show the way to salvation and that she will, one day be received into the True Church. Until then I just do my best and leave the rest to God.

With love, Paul.

FATHER JOE:

When the Protestant reformers separated themselves from Catholicism, they took various elements of the faith with them. Indeed, they have their bible thanks to the Catholic Church. Certain sacraments were also extracted, even if only their external form and not the interior mystery— like the Lord’s Supper or Mass. The new English translation is far superior to the previous one and is doctrinally very rich. While expressions, dress and so much else might resemble Anglican forms, they are in truth, uniquely Catholic. Many texts, at least with the High Church, were literal and direct translations from the Latin used by Catholicism. The new Catholic translation has, as you said, made these similarities even more apparent. But I would argue that the Catholic Church has not deliberately made itself look Protestant. Rather, it is merely that certain Protestant faith communities have deliberately retained Catholic features in faith and worship.

Here in the United States, the Episcopal Church is very small compared to Evangelical and Baptist congregations. They stress the Word with little or no emphasis upon the communion table or set rituals. In the Archdiocese of Washington, St. Luke’s, an Episcopal parish recently became the first faith community to take up the Pope’s offer of reunion under the new pastoral provision. They use a reformed “Catholic” version of the Book of Common Prayer, called the Book of Worship. This initiative around the world reflects Anglican dissatisfaction with the growing secularization of their former faith communion and a rediscovery of Catholic roots.

I am also seeing a revival of Eucharistic processions and Marian devotions. There is cause for hope. We, as Catholics, should stay the course and emphasize those elements that are distinctively Catholic and rich in meaning. Most parishes here also schedule regular Eucharistic adoration and encourage the traditional Holy Hour. You have it over us in the States in that the UK bishops have reintroduced the Friday abstinence. Of course, such a discipline requires proper catechesis and understanding.

I will keep you and your adopted daughter in my prayers. In addition to the Lenten observances, I am currently under doctor’s orders to forego bread, rice, pasta and potatoes. I wish I could say that I was happy but I have never been satisfied with rabbit food.

Blessings! Father Joe
Anonymous, on February 23, 2012 at 12:25 pm said:

I’m a Catholic and love my faith. I recently returned to the Catholic Church. I am sincerely strengthening my faith but am having a huge problem with the Blessed Virgin Mary. I believe in her powerful intercession but many times there are books and prayers which tell us to give our lives to Mary and to trust in her completely. Isn’t this trust reserved for God alone? Also, I know that statues of Mary and the saints are used to remind us of them but why do we kneel in front of them and pray and put flowers on their statues, looking at them with such reverence?

FATHER JOE:

Mary has both a singular role in the Church as well as being an integral member of the communion of saints. All saints as members of the Christian family of faith can intercede and pray for their brothers and sisters still on pilgrimage in this world. But Mary also has a unique role as Christ’s Mother and as the New Eve or Immaculate Conception. Because she was preserved from sin, she participates as a creature and in a dependent way with the redemptive work of her divine Son. She says yes to the angel at the Annunciation and is still saying yes as she receives her Son’s body from the Cross. Indeed, her yes for mankind is eternal and the wound of the first Eve is healed. Christ has conquered sin and death, even though the consequences have to be worked out still in human history. The notion of giving oneself to Mary has to do with our relationship to her. We may be physical children of the first Eve but we are spiritual children to the New Eve, our Mother Mary. The sentiment of children for their Mother is extreme but should not be confused with divine worship. It is more and of a different order than given other saints, but not the direct glory that we render to God. Our Lord is pleased when we honor her. Why do we do it? We know what she did for us and we love her. Her “fiat” or yes to God was not merely for herself but for the entire world. Her motherhood was not merely a reality of a few months or a number of years; Mary will always be the Mother of her Son. As members of Christ’s Mystical Body and adoptive sons and daughters of the Father, we also look to her as our Mother in the family of God.

As for statues and images, our emotions come into play. Do we not bring flowers to graves? Do we not salute the flag? Have you never kissed a photograph of someone far away you loved? Such things are tokens or signs for what we cannot see— a person or even an idea. Catholics show respect to holy persons, places and things. We give the level of respect to a sacramental which reflects its sign value and use. A statue of Mary (or any saint) is a substitute for what we fail to see and touch. Creatures of flesh need such symbols. We are not pure spirits. Catholics have a healthy appreciation of the full ramifications of the Incarnation, how even the things of creation can now convey something of the divine and the story of salvation.
Michael, on February 22, 2012 at 11:59 pm said:

Of all the thousands of gods our race has known over the years, how did you decide on which one to believe in? I mean, with the risk being that if you choose the wrong god you will suffer an eternity in some form of hell, its a tough choice to make. How did you logically decide which god was right for you?

FATHER JOE: I was raised a Catholic. I cannot recall ever doubting God’s existence or the unique significance of the Catholic faith. As a student, I would agree with C.S. Lewis that Christianity seems best equipped to answer man’s longings and the ultimate questions. G. K. Chesterton shared similar sentiments, joking that if there were no Christianity we would have to invent it. God in Jesus Christ is in solidarity with humanity, particularly in regards to the problem of pain. We are also promised forgiveness, healing and restoration. Religions that did not last were not from God. Those that exist today may have elements of the truth (mixed in with error); but, I believe that everything necessary for salvation is available in the Catholic Church. It is the Church of faith and reason. It also has truth and passion. God feeds us with his very self. There is no need to look elsewhere.
Sue, on February 22, 2012 at 3:40 am said:

Dear Fr Joe

I am writing to ask you to delete your blog on Fallen TV Priests .Fr. Jose Zovko is not under suspension and never has been. Medjugorie is under attack and has been for many years . A wealthy Person from California has been behind some efforts to discredit Medjugorje and priests associated with it. I would suggest that you remove all information about suspended priests from your site unless you have first hand knowledge from both parties. Some priests are forbidden to defend themselves even after the courts have found them innocent. As with Medjugorje I would suggest first hand research and prayer before writing them off.

Thank you

Keith

FATHER JOE:

Is that even a Blog post on this site? Maybe I should repost the conversation? It seemed to have value for hurting souls, wounded by certain clergy.

Place your trust in God and not in men. That is really the whole point. As for the truth…

First Things (2009 article): And this summer, at the end of July 2009, Benedict acted on his doubts. He has removed from the clergy one of two local priests most active in supporting the visions, Tomislav Vlašic, and threatened him with excommunication. (The suspension of the other, Jozo Zovko, from pastoral duties was confirmed in 2004.) Vlašic is also prohibited from residing in Franciscan facilities.

Bishop Ratko Peric (on 2010 visit of Cardinal Schonborn): We had two separate charismatic promoters and “architects” of the “Medjugorje phenomenon”: The prominent and disobedient Tomislav Vlašić, who last year was expelled by the Superior General of the Order of Friars and who at his request, was dispensed of his priestly faculties and obligations by the Holy See, and Fr. Jozo Zovko, who has been denied priestly faculties in this diocese since 2004, who according to newspaper reports, has been withdrawn by his religious superiors from the territory of Herzegovina and is prohibited from any contact with Medjugorje.

I suspect the the new papal commission will eventually get to the bottom of things and give us a verdict. Certain fruits are admitted but the Vatican honestly tells us that serious questions remain about Medjugorie. My confidence is in the bishops and the Church, not because they are better than anyone else, but because the Holy Spirit protects our shepherds in union with the Holy See.
Sam B, on February 21, 2012 at 1:56 am said:

I’m a Catholic that has fallen away from the Church, but I hope only slightly, I’m actually trying to reconcile myself back towards God, His Church and the truth, things that I’m having issues with lately is having deep doubts about the sincerity of my leaders and my brothers and sisters, most often with issues of them being too into the legality of everything and not seeing them yearning to worship in Spirit and Truth, issues of seeing people who say “yes” but then they do “no” and other issues of “make believers” instead of “true believers” or people who come across being more interested in being superior and indifferent instead of being humble, welcoming and honest. The real question is, what am I doing wrong? Why does this bother me so much and why don’t I love and pity these people and correct the wrong in myself first? Why do I see them as an excuse to be frustrated and not to love? How can I be better? What was it that Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen used to say about Wasting our lives?

FATHER JOE: It is commendable, Sam, that you want to be in good standing and unity with God and his Church. We all have issues with which we struggle; but, we need to trust God and to have confidence in the shepherds he has appointed. The hypocrisy and scandal of a few should not invalidate or devalue the witness of many as servants of the Gospel and friends of Christ. Cynicism of any kind is a poison to the hope which fuels the Christian faith; we must trust and surrender ourselves to divine providence. The sacraments and the Christian life are composed of visible and invisible elements. As in the liturgy, they are intricately bound. The new efforts of the Church today are to insure that these elements are in harmony and sync. Many have lost track of the Mass, for instance, as a true participation in the propitiatory sacrifice or oblation of Christ on the Cross. Too many have forfeited a sense of reverence and faith in the real presence of the Eucharist. The new English translations are helpful in restoring this proper orientation. We all make judgments about right and wrong. That sometimes puts people in the cross-hairs. However, we must acknowledge ourselves as sinners, too. Finally, every life is precious and no life is wasted as long as we respond to God in the manner that he has called and empowered us. The old catechism answer still applies. We are to KNOW God. We are to LOVE God. We are to SERVE God. We are to GIVE GLORY to God in this world and forever in the next.
laShawn, on February 19, 2012 at 1:23 pm said:

Hello, my question is why are the commandments written in stone by the finger of God changed by the Church? Jesus is equal with His Father and even he didn’t change them (Matt 5:17, 18). Also the apostles didn’t change them but adhered to the very same one in the bible. God says in. Mal 3:6 God says “I am the LORD, I change not.” Paul says in Romans 7:12 “The law is Holy, and the commandment just, and good.” Why then has the church changed something that the God of scripture did not himself change?

FATHER JOE: You will find the complete biblical listing of the commandments in both Catholic bibles and the universal catechism. The catechetical listing we use is a short-cut version. Lutherans use a division similar to ours. Jews, Eastern Catholic, Orthodox and Protestants tend to divide the verses another way. Having said this, we do believe that the authority that Christ established for his Church has the right to “interpret” the Decalogue and the two-fold commandments of our Lord. What is it you are saying that we changed? Protestants and Catholics alike, worship on Sunday. This is because of the heightened gravity given the resurrection and our re-creation in Christ. We see Christians coming together to worship on the Lord’s Day in the Book of Revelation. Are you a Seventh-day Adventist, insisting upon the Hebrew Sabbath? The prohibition against images was never absolute, as the figures of angels were even upon the Ark of the Covenant. The economy of images changes because of the Incarnation. God takes to himself human flesh and now creation can convey something of God. Of course, the worship of idols is still prohibited. But the use of images, much like the pictures of loved ones in your home, is something quite different. Veneration of sacramentals and holy images is not divine worship. The proper object for all prayer and worship is God.
Melissa Tan, on February 16, 2012 at 2:05 pm said:

Dear Father Joe, I heard from a friend that God’s Law is to make us sin more so that God can bestow His Grace towards us. Is this true? Father, can you explain why God wanted to give us the 10 Commandments? Thank you.

FATHER JOE: You are making reference to Romans 5:20: “Now the law entered in, that sin might abound. And where sin abounded, grace did more abound.” We are given choices, freedom and grace (God’s help). God is not the author of sin. God’s will is expressed both in divine positive law (commandments) and in natural law. The two are intimately connected. God would NOT have us sin. Nevertheless, the fall has merited for us a wonderful Redeemer (the Christ). God reveals his law so that we might know him. The Decalogue was an element in God’s covenant with his people. Similarly, Christ’s obedience unto the Cross is the focus of the new covenant established between God and his Church.
Fredo, on February 15, 2012 at 10:18 pm said:

Father how do those that don’t believe in God convert and change their ways?

Have you ever witnessed unbelievers convert?

I believe if you have converted somebody who does not believe than you truly have a gift because quite frankly I don’t know if I can truly ever convert anybody. The unbeliever will always ask for a sign, a sign which I cannot produce because Jesus clearly told us those who ask for a sign will not get it. Thus if Jesus will not give them the sign then how will I?

My best answer to an atheist is that it is my desire to have eternal life that leads me to believe in God and I truly believe in him but an atheist can refute this by saying why does life have to have meaning?

So as you can see in the eyes of the unbeliever I’m a lunatic because I believe in something I cannot see or prove but on the contrary I find it to be the other way around.

Also am I a bad Catholic for thinking like this? I’m young and have a long way to go so I ask the experts.

Another thing, is it safe to read books written by William Guy Carr such as “Satan Prince of this World” or “Pawns in the game” where he talks about the three world wars being fabricated behind the curtains? If I read it should I be careful or should I avoid stuff like this? I believe is safe to read the books because Carr was Catholic but then again many claim to be Catholic but their actions don’t show it like the late Ted Kennedy.

FATHER JOE:

Yes, I have traveled with such people in their faith journey.

Priests, catechists and others help people to know about God and his community of faith. We hope that they will come to believe and to love the Lord and his Church. Faith is God’s mysterious gift.

God does give us signs of his presence and action in our lives. What is sometimes lacking is discernment. But our eyes can be opened to the truth.

The philosopher would seek rational proofs for God’s existence of God. But such can only go so far. The person of faith has a relationship or friendship with the Lord. When we pray, we talk to God; but, we also allow him to spiritually communicate with us.
The challenge you face at this stage of your life is not so much to spread the faith but to grow in your own understanding of it. The more you come to know, the more you will love.

Most of us will never know much in the way of supernaturally infused science or knowledge. You are young. Study and pray. Give it time.

There are all sorts of speculative books, many espousing theories about conspiracies and so much more. Why waste your time on such silly fiction when we have the Scriptures, the universal catechism and so many works of merit to feed our minds?
Paul Brann, on February 13, 2012 at 9:02 am said:

Dear Fr Joe,
But if our hypothetical hero, at the instant of his own death, cried out: “My God, please forgive me!” from the bottom of his heart in genuine repentance and sorrow either because he offended the Goodness of God (perfect), or exactly because he feared hell (imperfect) in contrition, then surely he would have obtained God’s forgiveness and theoretically been dumped in Purgatory.
I have seen very many dead people and witnessed much death, and we can never know exactly what goes through a person’s conscious mind and conscience at that instant of death.
It could be argued that Adolph Hitler would have been saved had he simply said with truth and meaning: “My God, forgive me!” just before his soul left his body.
Hell is real, but it might be quite empty.
On the other hand, it might be very full and only very few might be welcomed into the wedding feast. Jesus certainly gave the impression that very few would be saved, and the apparitions of our Mother Mary seem to imply that very many might be going to Hell.
What do you think, Father, might Hell be a very empty and destitute place, or is it full of polititians and money lenders and that ilk?
Best wishes,
Paul

FATHER JOE:

If a person repents before death, we do indeed believe that God hears him. But that was not your question. Your query was whether or not a good act might save a person who was damned. Since we cannot merit our own salvation, the answer is no. Further, contrition would have to be genuine. Look at Matthew 7:21-23: “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you evildoers.’” We are not simply saved by what we do but by an obedient faith relationship with God and trust in the saving name of Jesus. Even if there is forgiveness or a priest’s absolution, a person would likely undergo purgation because of needed perfection and to appease temporal punishment. Short of the mercy of God, there is only hell.

We do not presume that any person is damned precisely because we cannot see into a person’s heart and mind at death.

The late lay theologian Frank Sheed once taught that as Catholics we must believe in a literally hell; however, he said that we can pray that the devil is lonely. In other words, we can hope that most will somehow be saved. However, various saints have reported personal visions where a multitude is crying out in torment from the flames. The children of Fatima, for instance, saw a terrifying vision of hell. What are we to make of this?

Further, while a last minute or deathbed conversion is possible; it is not as common as many might imagine. We become set in our ways. Some theologians speak about this as a “fundamental option” where the whole orientation of a person’s life is either toward or away from God. We are creatures of habit. If there is little or no love in our hearts, then there is not much to be done. We can take either love or hatred to the grave. Yes, it is terrible to think about, but there are people who die hating God and their fellow men and women. While I cannot speak of the eternal destiny of men like Hitler and Stalin in an absolutely certain way; I do suspect that it is highly unlikely that they made sufficient contrition to appease the wrath of God.

What is my personal opinion? I want to go to heaven and hope to take a few of my friends with me. The rest, I leave to God.
Fredo, on February 12, 2012 at 11:34 pm said:

Ok father I have a question out of curiosity. So let’s say that a man died in a state of grave sin and the man knowing that if he died would go to hell. However before he dies he saves a persons life that later converts to Catholicism. He saved the guy by pushing him out the way of a truck coming his way but he was struck and died and had no time to think of his own salvation in trying to save someone else’s life. The problem is that Jesus said whoever saves his life will lose it and whoever loses his life will get life. Will this person go to purgatory or hell, because I don’t see him going to heaven well at least not for the moment if he’s in purgatory, so what is your best guess or answer if you have one?

FATHER JOE: The reference to losing one’s life or saving it has to do with our dedication to the Gospel. It is related to Christ’s summons to take up one’s cross and follow him. Like the martyrs, we should count our faith as the greatest treasure, for which it is worth dying. We can also witness by laying down our lives for others. As for the example you offer, a person who dies in grave or mortal sin goes to hell. That is the end of the story. Evil people may sometimes do good or neutral things, but unless there is repentance, they remain spiritually dead. Physical death makes this state permanent. Acts that might be meritorious for righteous believers would have no value whatsoever for those in mortal sin. That is why even Holy Communion, the saving bread of life, comes to the judgment of one who receives unworthily and in serious sin. It is a sacrilege and another grave sin. Souls that go to Purgatory must still possess sanctifying grace. Those in mortal sin have neither sanctifying nor actual graces. If they die in that terrible state, then they are damned. Hell is real.
Paul Brann, on January 27, 2012 at 9:08 am said:

Dear Fr Joe,
As I was instructed in my faith from a very young age by some determined nuns and then by some equally pedantic Christian Brothers, the taught and learned realities were as you stated at the end of your last piece; the two realities of Heaven and Hell. We can never get a proper appreciation of what this will be like while we are shackled to this Earthly environment, but I do not doubt that this has been the doctrine and teaching of the church for a very long time.

As I have aged and have had more time to think (possibly a disconcerting thing to do for a Catholic) I have had to struggle with the apparant conflict between the teaching of the Church and the truths in Holy Scripture. Daniel, Revelation and even St Paul all seem to imply either a rapture or a re-creation of this Earth, and (as we profess in the Creed but fail to understand) a resurrection of ‘the body’.

I have tended not to look at this because it’s beyond comprehension, but perhaps I should as it’s both Biblical and Catholic. Does that mean that my rotted and consumed physical body, eaten by the worms and crushed by the cold ground of the grave will be miraculously resurrected, warts and all, so that I will physically walk on this ‘new earth’ or is it all metaphorical?

Regards, Paul

FATHER JOE: The Church is merely wary of too much speculation about elements of the afterlife which either trivialize it (like sitting on a cloud playing a harp) or which seem to devalue it as only natural happiness (living in a country cottage by the sea). The doctrine is that we will be restored, body and soul. But as we see in the risen Christ, the glorified person (body and soul) is not subject to the many limitations we now know. Similarly, the Virgin Mary was assumed body and soul into heaven as a further testimony of our eternal destiny. Heaven is where God is. God as God and his angels are pure spirits. As such, spiritual beings do not need physical extension in space. Glorified people will have real but immortal bodies. I have heard it argued that the new earth (within heaven itself) is probably where such bodily persons find such extension. The Catholic emphasis is not upon exact details but upon our union with God. References to the new earth really regard creation and the kingdom that Christ will hand over to his Father at the final consummation. We will be made into a new creation.
lue, on January 26, 2012 at 2:55 pm said:

In 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17 Paul stated, “The Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.”
What should we do if we hear the trumpet call? Do we fall to our knees where ever we are and pray? do we repent? do we celebrate and dance? etc?

FATHER JOE: When I was a boy I often imaged this scene in my mind. Gabriel, the great angel of the annunciation, would finally blow his horn for the consummation of the world. The dead will be restored body and soul. The faithful living will never die. As for posture, it probably does not matter. The saints will respond accordingly and there will be no play-acting or going through the motions. There will be a new heaven and a new earth, but this is really just another reference to the resurrection and our new life with God. We will make our home with Christ in heaven. There will only be two realities: heaven and hell.
Melissa Tan, on January 26, 2012 at 2:39 am said:

Dear Father Joseph

I wanted to ask Father regarding Blessed Imelda Lambertini-Patron Saint of First Communicants – When is her feast day?

Thank you Father

Melissa

FATHER JOE: I think it is May 13.
Paul Brann, on January 24, 2012 at 9:40 am said:

Dear Fr Joe,
I was interested in what Betty had to say as currently I am having difficulty adjusting to our new priest. For many years we had a lovely man, intelligent but not condescending, human and a sinner but of really good intent, traditionalist as well as encompassing the modern, and now we have been given a 12 year old with an ego bigger than the congregation. His homilies go on for an eternity and he says nothing.

He was willing to continue with the Latin Mass on a Sunday evening, but had probably been trained in it with just a server, and as he’s so very young, would never have experienced the ‘Dialogue Mass’ as it used to be, so he deliberately started off rushing the entry prayers so that by the time he got to the confeteor, he was well ahead of the congregation and most were lost anyway.

Our attendance at evening Mass went down from about 50 to perhaps just 7 to 10, and I just could not help myself one evening as he rushed the “Intreibo ad Alterna Dei”, deliberately trying to better the failing congregation, I just boomed out from the back of the church: “If you went a little slower, it would help us!” Well it took him back; perhaps he had never been heckled before, certainly I had never, ever done anything like that before in the House of God, but something had to give. Aparantly he was indignant for a while, sought advice, and now we have a dialogue Mass once again, in Latin, and the numbers continue to rise.

However I still can’t stand the boy and he can’t look me in the eye, and I just try to see the bigger picture. He is acting “in persona Christi” when he celebrates Mass, and that’s good enough for me, It’s his first parish and he will learn from this. Also I suffer from a mental illness that means that, sometimes I struggle to be diplomatic; it’s not turettes, but sometimes I wish I could claim that and get away with it more easily.

And we need priests more than ever before, not that should mean that the barrel scrapings should ever be acceptable, but even priests are human. I just pray for him when I am able, and I pray for myself too. If I left this church, “Lord, where would I go?”

With love, Paul.
Betty, on January 20, 2012 at 7:32 am said:

Dear Father,
How come that our parish priest is always negative thinking . Since he came in our church 2006 always giving problems to the congregations and putting us in stress. He should be loving , caring, full of wisdom and compassionate. Our church is not used to be good atmospher as I am in this church for 36 years. Does he needs to be retrained or needs a proper guidance or psychological help? His behaviour is strange.He should be a good Shepherd as a follower of Christ.Priest that does’t know how to say sorry or thank you. Most of congregation left the church.Father, what can you say that might help us for peace of mind.

Thank you and God bless us all.
Betty

FATHER JOE: Not knowing the priest or parish, there is not much I can say. All parishes have problems or challenges, but hopefully everyone works to solve them. Some priests get tired and their disappointments haunt them. Others do not pray as they should and so their lack of confidence in God’s grace might be hard to hide. Priests are sinners like all the rest but we are also called to bring healing and forgiveness. I am sorry you have had such a negative experience of what the parish family should be about. Instead of leaving, did any groups of parishioners try approaching him as friends? Or, was he too hard and too many walls were in place? If all he ever received was criticism, could that have killed his love for his flock? I am only guessing. But I wish you all well. I would still suggest trying to talk with him. Priests are suppose to pray for their people. Do you pray for your priest, even if he is not the kind of priest you would prefer?
maria, on January 11, 2012 at 5:21 pm said:

Father, I have a more personal question to ask you. My husband and I have been involved in the church for more than 20 yrs, but a few years ago, we stranded and became too involved in work, our relationship was decaying to the point where I was unfaithful to my husband. I repented and confessed I left my job and turn my life around.But to be honest with you I have not found peace with my self I feel unworthy of God and my family. I have never told anyone else but the priest of course. And I do wonder is my marriage still valid by god’s eyes? And although I know God loves us and forgive us do you think I would go to hell? since I knew what I was doing and knew about god. Or will my children suffer in their own lives with this almost like a course? Now my husband’s dream has always been to become a deacon, can we? or because of what I did we can no longer do it?

Father thank you for your help!

FATHER JOE: You confessed your sin and was absolved. God has forgiven you, now forgive yourself. Such things do not invalidate a marriage. God loves you and desires for your marriage to grow and to remain strong. If you are both receptive to a possible vocation for your husband to the diaconate, then explore the possibility officially. God bless you!
john, on January 11, 2012 at 2:22 am said:

Would Luke 10:38-42 be a proper justification for a hermit’s life?
Is it proper for an individual, in cooperation with a national force, to
wage war on Christ’s enemies? Do we love our enemies by striking them dead? Are we to bring in Christ’s kingdom with “tough love” or
have Christ accomplish that fact?

FATHER JOE: I am not sure how Luke 10:38-42 speaks to the life of a hermit. The sisters of Lazarus were actively engaged in society and displayed a welcoming or hospitality to Jesus. Christians need both the active and the passive (receptive) elements that we find in Martha and Mary. As for your question about Christ’s enemies, who judges such things and what national force are you suggesting? The Church subscribes to a just war theory about national defense and human rights. The pain of war and defense is precisely because we are called to love our enemies. We need to pray for his conversion and right relationship with God and man. While there are Christian pacifists, most feel that we have a right to defend ourselves and others, especially the innocent. Can an enemy force our hand? Martyrs to the faith are wonderful witnesses to divine love. But one might also sin by allowing an enemy to persecute the just, kill the innocent and subdue peaceful peoples.
Fredo, on January 10, 2012 at 10:38 pm said:

I’m sorry father I didn’t mean for you to feel as if I am an enemy of the church I was just confused and that is why I was asking you sorry if caused you to be dissappointed in me or a little mad because it sounds like it. Look at it from my perspective the guy said very convincing stuff and all I did was to you so you can clarify this for me I am not going against the church sorry if you misinterpreted me for an enemy of the church

FATHER JOE: I am not mad at you or disappointed. I would not judge you as an enemy of the Church. Rather, I was merely offering an evaluation of the website you cited. Peace!