Ask a Priest

5,442 Responses

Anynomous, on October 5, 2013 at 6:55 pm said:

Thank you for taking the time to answer my question and your answer is interesting. I thought that privacy of confession is gone when the interpreter is hearing the sins of the person and that the person is sinning. Your thoughts please.

FATHER JOE: Interpreters may be a necessary compromise for the sacrament and needed counseling. They are frequently used with the deaf or those who have trouble speaking verbally. But both the priest and interpreter are under the seal of Confession.
Anynomous, on October 5, 2013 at 3:18 pm said:

Hello. I have a question about confession. Let’s say that a person who wants to confess their sins is someone who doesn’t know English but the priest speaks English. In this case, can the person confess their sins to God in their hearts and for the priest to give the absolution? Also in this case is it allowed for a person confessing sins to have an interpreter to tell the priests their sins of the person confessing? What would you do in this case?

FATHER JOE: If need be, in an urgent situation, the priest can still hear the confession although he must trust that the sacrament is received in good faith. However, Catholic translators or interpreters are permitted; but such persons must be trustworthy. The translator would also be placed under the seal of confession. Revealing what is confessed would constitute mortal sin and the censure of excommunication (applies to priests and third parties).
Rashon Shamah, on October 5, 2013 at 1:51 am said:

Do they really have a black mary and baby Jesus I’m the Vatican? And why?

FATHER JOE: Did you really think they were white?
karla mayers, on October 4, 2013 at 1:05 pm said:

Hi again, Here are two reviews of the film. I do not know if this helps to assess whether it would be a sin for me to buy the film? I have watched the film already.

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:dSTvnVeG5cEJ:www.catholic.org.au/black-book&client=Roccat&hl=en&strip=1

http://www.catholicnews.com/data/movies/07mv063.htm

FATHER JOE: It is not something I want to see.

CATHOLIC NEWS – The frankness of some of the material – arguably not all dramatically valid – and a troubling revenge plot involving two of the principals, will preclude viewing for many Catholics, and should thus be approached with caution. In Dutch, German, English and Hebrew, with subtitles. The film contains strong rough and crude language and profanity, sexual encounters, full male and female nudity, innuendo, wartime violence including shootings and beatings, and vigilante justice. The USCCB Office for Film & Broadcasting classification is L – limited adult audience, films whose problematic content many adults would find troubling. The Motion Picture Association of America rating is R – restricted. Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian. – – – Forbes is director of the Office for Film & Broadcasting of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops.
Anthony Davi, on October 3, 2013 at 9:26 pm said:

Dear Father Joe
Thank you for your reply! Quick follow up.

As a private devotion, do you believe we could/should ask the Holy Souls to pray for us–their loved ones–left here on the earth–as we continue to offer up Masses and prayers for them?

Anthony D–San Diego

FATHER JOE: The liturgical prayers give us the pattern we should follow: we appeal to the heavenly saints to intercede for us but we pray for the dead (in purgatory) that they might have healing. We want to be where the saints are, focusing on heaven, not purgatory. Heaven is our ultimate goal and our true home.
karla, on October 3, 2013 at 6:42 pm said:

Hi Father. Would it be a sin for me to buy a Dutch war film that contains premarital sex scenes? Is watching such scenes in a film a sin, even if it is not a porn film specifically? As a war film, it also has killing scenes. Is watching killing scenes in a film a sin, as murder is a sin.

I have watched the film and I do want to buy the film but I am questioning about watching those scenes.

Hope to hear response.

FATHER JOE: The Church teaches that even sexual simulation is sinful. Gratuitous violence can also be wrong, but there is a big difference between a horror slasher film and a war film which reinforces positive values about sacrifice and just war. I do not know the film and so cannot directly or properly answer.
Anthony Davi, on October 3, 2013 at 2:51 am said:

Dear Father Joe,
Loved your answer about the lyric in the song,
Come Christians Join to Sing. Thank you!!

On a separate note, do you have an opinion as to whether the holy souls in Purgatory know of/are made aware of the happenings of their dear ones still in the earth?
Anthony D-San Diego

FATHER JOE: The souls in purgatory probably have some awareness of those who remember and pray for them. However, I cannot say if they have a perfect awareness of what is happening in the lives of all their loved ones still upon their mortal pilgrimage. The Church teaches that the poor souls are utterly helpless. Note that we call upon the intercession of the saints in heaven, not the souls in purgatory. Of course, I have no doubt that the poor souls know the joy that they will one day be in heaven and reunited with loved ones. Purgatory may be a place of suffering but there is nothing there of despair.
eric s., on October 3, 2013 at 12:08 am said:

Hello Father Joe,

I hope all is well.

Thank you for answering many of my questions over the past year.

Today is the Feast of the Guardian Angels.

I turned on the TV just in time to catch the homily by Father Larry Richards on EWTN. He told a story about how when he was a child he was almost hit by a car. He felt someone grab his shoulders and pull him back from oncoming traffic just in time and unscathed. He thought it might have been one of his relatives, but his grandmother informed him that it wasn’t any of them, but that it was his Guardian Angel. He affirmed this.

It made me think of how Blessed Pope John Paul II said that Our Lady helped him avoid a fatal bullet wound by redirecting the bullet fired by Mehmet Ali Agca.

Father, my question may be very simple or just something unknown,…but how do we know who intercedes for us? Is it based on our prayers and who we direct them towards…or based on the roles or patron attributes of the Saints and Angels? We know every grace given comes from our Lord, so always thanks be to God. But I was just curious as to whether or not we should know who intercedes on our behalf… Just as when someone helps out another by an act of kindness or charity, it would be nice to know who it is and say thank you/I love you…

Thank you Father. Again, I apologize if the question is simple. Just curious and was interested by Father Larry Richards homily. God Bless you.

Sincerely,
eric

FATHER JOE: All the saints and angels give glory to God and pray for us. As for special intercessors, we can have confidence that our petitions are heard. But we cannot know all who pray for us by name. Note that this is the case even in this world. Priests, family members, friends, even enemies might regularly pray for us and never tell us that they are doing so. I pray for past parishioners I have not seen in decades (like youth group kids who are now in their 30’s and 40’s!).
Anthony Davi, on October 2, 2013 at 5:41 am said:

May I ask a question Father Joe,

We sang a song at Mass several weeks back. One phrase has me baffled. Life shall not end the strain. Where will the strain continue to–Heaven’s shore. I thought Heaven will be without strain/ Or is the song suggesting Purgatory even tho the next verse mentions Heaven?

Here are some of the words from the song.

Come Christians Join to Sing

Praise yet our Christ again
Life shall not end the strain
On Heaven’s joyful shore
Singing for ever more.

Would love your thoughts–this is vexing.
Anthony D- San Diego
a_davi@msn.com

FATHER JOE: It is a folk hymn used heavily in Protestant settings. There is no reference to purgatory. The composer is using the word “strain” to preserve a rhyme. She intends an obscure definition of the word, meaning a section or piece of music. Nothing that happens in life will dampen the song of praise from the celestial choir.
Grace, on October 2, 2013 at 5:06 am said:

Father, while saying the Rosary the other night, as I recited the prayers, in my heart I prayed to St. Pio instead. I do not normally do this but is it wrong, Father?

FATHER JOE: You can appeal to any saintly intercessor, however, properly all prayer is directed toward Almighty God. Am I understanding your question?
Cynthia, on September 30, 2013 at 5:00 pm said:

Father Joe: Why don’t we include “Please” and “Thank You” in the Mass and prayers? I have decided to include them and have been doing so for a number of years out of respect and admiration.

FATHER JOE: Actually, the word Eucharist means THANKSGIVING. The bidding prayers and many others besides are expressions of “please” or beseeching God. We should not, however, deviate from the liturgical form. The response to Holy Communion is AMEN and never THANK YOU. We are not thanking the minister but focusing upon the Lord. The AMEN is an acclamation of faith, asserting the truth of the Eucharist and loyalty to the Church which gives us the great sacrament. You are certainly free to use PLEASE and THANK YOU in personal prayers. But do not forget the other types of prayer, PRAISE and CONTRITION.

Worldwide we are taught that it is rude to not use these simple phrases when talking with others. God, our Father and Creator, is much more than another person. In Mass and everyday prayers like the Our Father and Hail Mary, we ask for help, but please is not part of the prayers. Why is that?

FATHER JOE: There are other ways to show our appeal to God and our gratitude. Look at the prayers more closely and you will see that. However, our approach to God is not the same as that which we exhibit toward one another. The posture of the creature to the Creator is not between peers.

Thanks for your insight!

FATHER JOE: Again, I would recommend that you study the prayers more closely. The liturgy is not open to our innovation.

After the Mass Readings: “Deo gratias.” THANKS be to God.

After the blessings over the Offertory gifts: “Benedictus Deus in saecula.” BLESSED be God for ever.

In the Eucharistic prayer: “…accepit panem et gratias agens fregit,….” …he took bread and, GIVING THANKS, broke it…. / “…iterum tibi gratias agens….” …and, once more giving THANKS….

At the dismissal: “Deo gratias.” THANKS be to God.
inezdeborah, on September 28, 2013 at 10:41 pm said:

COMMENT DELETED

FATHER JOE: The question was answered. Terms were changed to preserve a certain sense of propriety. That should be sufficient. If not, you may go elsewhere.
Bob, on September 28, 2013 at 6:52 pm said:

Father Joe: its been awhile since I’ve ask a question. I believe this is a question that all your readers could benefit from. Is it permissible to mention God’s real name as told to Moses, Jewish tradition is no, as I understand, in-fact I believe it is also a Jewish practice to spell God as G-d. I believe that The Holy See stated that Gods name should not be used in the mass. Please clarify my confusion and or misunderstanding. Have a blessed weekend father.

FATHER JOE: Catholicism does not have a general prohibition about the use of God’s name. All that is required is that we honor his name and not use it in vain (in a derogatory or flippant manner). Just as the economy of images is abrogated by the incarnation, so too can we call upon the name that saves, Jesus Christ. Catholics traditionally bend the head at the mention of JESUS. The Catholic Church no longer uses the name YAHWEH in song or liturgy in deference to the Jews who are offended by such familiarity. This is a recent change.
Chelsea, on September 26, 2013 at 10:36 pm said:

Father Joe, I am a young woman who cares strongly about my Catholic faith. My fiance was born and raised Baptist and we are having troubles with our wedding planning. His Grandmother is dying of a lung disease and is unable to travel to the Parish where I worshipped. She actually can’t leave his hometown. She has maybe 6 months left to live and her dying wish is to see her only grandson married. The only solution is to have a small wedding by a minister (non-Catholic) in his hometown before she dies. I am devastated by the circumstance and wish I could be married in the Church but I know how much it means for her to see us married.
I was wondering if after we are married outside the Church if we could have our marriage acknowledged by the Catholic Church so I can receive my sacrament of marriage. Any answers would be greatly appreciated. I have prayed and I believe God is telling me to make sure she is able to be there, but is the cost of my faith and the disappointment of my family worth it?

FATHER JOE:

(1) A Catholic who marries outside the Catholic Church is not regarded as truly married (there is no sacrament).

(2) You should contact your priest and ask about a dispensation from canonical form. This way you as a Catholic could be validly married before a Protestant minister.

(3) If you do not get permission and/or dispensation, then the next step is to see the priest about a marriage convalidation. After proper marriage preparation, the priest and at least 2 witnesses would receive your vows in a Catholic church. Then the civil/Protestant wedding would be recognized in the Catholic Church as a sacrament.

You would have to promise to continue living your Catholic faith and do all in your power to baptize and raise your children in your faith.
Stephanie, on September 26, 2013 at 9:49 pm said:

Father I’m very confused. I’m orthodox catholic and for as long as I’ve known I’ve been getting communion at both orthodox Catholic Churches and Roman Catholic Churches. I never saw the division or the difference in the two. Is it ok for me to continue receiving communion? Please advise me.

FATHER JOE: Catholics are only permitted to receive Holy Communion in Orthodox churches if it is impossible to receive in a Catholic one. Not all Orthodox churches would approve, either. Orthodox churches are not in juridical union with Rome. The reception of the sacrament also functions as a faith profession and a statement about ecclesial communion. Eastern rite Catholics can receive in either the Eastern or Western rite (Roman) Catholic churches. Orthodox Christians are permitted to receive in a Catholic church if it is impossible to do so in their own church. There are many places where there is no Orthodox church available. Some patriarchs agree to this and others do not.
Melissa Beauchamp, on September 26, 2013 at 8:11 pm said:

Thank you so very much Father. I will follow your advice.
agnes, on September 24, 2013 at 6:59 am said:

Does the Catholic Church (or any holy father of the Church) teach or write or think or suppose anything about a difference between a man’s and a woman’s SOUL?

FATHER JOE: The souls of men and women have the same elements: intellect and will. The modification is how the substantial form or soul informs the matter.

Does any heretic father of the Church think about this matter?

FATHER JOE: Heretics are not normally regarded as Church fathers.

I “remember” that all souls were without body first and that all were equal and without gender.

FATHER JOE: No, this is a false. The notion of any pre-existence of souls is heretical. Souls are immediately created at the moment of conception. (Some ethicists once supposed this occurred at the moment of cellular differentiation.)

The souls of the future men had deserved more dignity in the eyes of God. So he made them men. The souls of the today-women had to learn from and obey the men. They had to be rescued to heaven through obedience and giving birth to children.

FATHER JOE: No, this is false. Men and women alike are redeemed by Jesus Christ. There is equality in dignity and grace.

(And that someday every woman will be allowed to choose if she wants to become a holy MAN.)

FATHER JOE: No, this is false. Men will always be men and women will always be women. Gender is an intrinsic element of identity. We will be reconstituted as such in the resurrection of the dead.

But the Bible says that the woman was created for the man. So every man should have a wife that belongs to him.

FATHER JOE: No, this is a fundamentalist literalism. Men and women were made for each other. The Genders complement each other in terms of marriage and having children. This is in terms of the race, not every individual man and woman. Jesus and St. Paul are clearly celibate. There is no absolute requirement that men marry; indeed, the apostle says that it is a higher calling to remain celibate for the kingdom.

Is this contradictory to what I said I “remember” or is the Bible simply not starting at the beginning?

FATHER JOE: You were taught wrong. Catholicism has never taught what you write about.

Are the souls ONLY different because of the different decisions the souls made before life (before being born in a body)?

FATHER JOE: Again, there is no pre-existence. Human persons are not just souls but spiritual-corporeal-composites. Our choices for or against God are made while we are in the body. Only the angels exist as pure spirits.

Or are they different by nature and from the beginning?

FATHER JOE: Souls begin with the body. One cannot speak of the soul without the body. When we die our bodies become corpses and our souls are released as ghosts. Ghosts are helpless. There is a particular judgment. At the final consummation, the souls and bodies of the dead will be restored. Glorified, the righteous will know life in heaven. Damned, some will go to hell. Purgatory will cease to exist. The saints will live with God forever, not as angels or ghosts, but as men and women— albeit immortal, beyond suffering, sickness and death.
Grace, on September 24, 2013 at 2:21 am said:

I was never able to convincingly answer Protestants about the worship/veneration of Mary and also their question as to why we need saints when we can go directly to God.

Until these past 2 years. Many times, Ive been prompted by the Holy Spirit to read up/research about a saint/or to pray the saint’s novena – for seemingly no reason but over a period of time, I noticed that this has led me closer to Christ.

I could have approached Him directly but many times, something in the saint’s life or teaching touched me more than the Lord’s words. It sounds blasphemous, I guess, but I know it is not because I am searching for the Lord within the church and NOT leaving it or the Lord. So, praying with/to the saints got me closer to Christ.

In the same way, reciting the Rosary in the meditative way, not just parroting the prayers, has also brought me closer to Christ. From time to time, I have been gripped by Our Lady fever – being led to intensely research some Vatican-validated apparition, for instance, and this has led me to pray for Our Lady’s intentions…….again, I have been brought closer to Christ.

So, if she or any saint, is venerated in the correct manner, our faith need not sink and no one can rightfully accuse us of going astray.
Obianuju, on September 23, 2013 at 9:12 am said:

I’m a communicant catholic from Nigeria. I believe firmly in Jesus and I honor Mary the mother of God but this is the part that get me thinking these days.

I really don’t know if this is peculiar to the church in Nigeria or that the universal church now worships Mary! These days, there are more devotion to Mary than to Jesus and even when there’s a devotion to Jesus, it ends in an appraisal of Mary!

The legion of Mary don’t make things easier at all! They go to the layman on the street preaching about Mary and when they get challenged by their protestant counterparts about Jesus being the source of salvation, they have little or nothing to say in defense. And why don’t we even have “Legion of Jesus”?

Growing up, we were taught in catechism that we honor Mary and never worship her but in recent times, the most difficult thing I’ve tried to do is “draw the line between honor and worship”

PLS HELP, MY FAITH IS SINKING!!!

FATHER JOE: All true prayer has as its proper object Almighty God. Mary is venerated because we love her; however, she does NOT receive divine worship. Mary is a singular intercessor among the saints because of her participation with Christ in our redemption. Just as Jesus entered our world through Mary; many still encounter her Son through Marian devotion. Mary always brings her spiritual children to Jesus. Her titles, like “Mother of God” defend the identity and dignity of her Son, Jesus Christ. Jesus is divine but also human. The mystery of the incarnation is accomplished through her. Her maternal role continues even now, for she will always be the Mother of our Lord. The Church is the Mystical Body of Christ. We look upon her as our Mother. She is given to us at the Cross. The Mother of the Redeemer becomes the Mother of all the Redeemed.
Grace, on September 21, 2013 at 6:20 am said:

This kind of a thing has happened a few times to me too. I believe that t is the Holy Spirit’s way of trying to speak to you through St Francis. Try reading up on him or his writings. Print those out and read and meditate on them. Look up his novena too and pray with it till the Holy Spirit prompts you to the ‘next stop’.
Grace, on September 20, 2013 at 6:55 am said:

To Melissa…

Look, you might think me nuts but you need to walk your boyfriend while you talk to him. Everything is magnified 10x without exercise. So, get him out on a long walk and talk and see if this might help you. God bless
Melissa Beauchamp, on September 19, 2013 at 1:43 pm said:

Dear Father, my boyfriend has mentioned killing himself 4 or 5 times this week. He says that life takes too much work. At first I thought it was a manipulation tactic but now I’m starting to worry that he might actually follow thru. I dont know what to do. He is not a Catholic nor does he believe in God, so reminding him of mortal sin, playing God or eternal damnation are beyond his comprehension. Please Father, I need your advice.

FATHER JOE: Do you know of any reason why he might feel suicidal? There can be a tangible cause but sometimes it is due to chemistry. In any case you should intervene and talk to him about it. Does he have a good relationship with his family? Can you talk with them about it. Would he seek counseling if you recommended it? You must take such assertions seriously! Let him know that you love him and that such a prospect would hurt you, too.
Inez Deborah Emilia Altar, on September 19, 2013 at 10:21 am said:

Reverend Father,

Could you please tell me, does [the thorough cleaning] of a person’s private parts in good hygiene, even if it causes [unintended pleasure] constitute masturbation? [If so] what can virgins do so as not to damage the anatomical veil of virginity?

Sincerely,
Inez

FATHER JOE:

I HAVE ALTERED CERTAIN WORDS IN THE QUESTION FOR PURPOSES OF PROPRIETY.

The physical element of a woman’s virginity is even subject to exercise. One should not worry about that component of the question. As for bathing, I urge people to do the best they can to preserve chastity, but health and respect for one’s person demands care and washing. We are bodily creatures and as such feel many sensations, in regard to pleasure and discomfort, that cannot be avoided. There is no sin or if there is some small willfulness, it is venial. Given our fallen nature and concupiscence, we do the best we can and should not become scrupulous or hate the body. Our corporeal nature is God’s gift to us.
agnes, on September 18, 2013 at 10:26 am said:

I have a question that is important for me. But I can’t explain why I ask it, it’s too private.

If you were married and God would tell you that your wife will ask God after death to punish you for telling her “I love you” but not doing that/or like she wants. Would you still be able to love this woman? Would it be more Christian to stay with her or more Christian to leave for the sake of not playing love games where she does not deserve this or because God does not think you love her enough?

FATHER JOE: God does not dialogue with us in this fashion so your question has no basis. We know from Scripture that God wants couples to keep their promises and stay married.

I know you would say you are married and can’t leave. But the question is would you be able to love a woman that betrays you after death?

FATHER JOE: The afterlife does not work this way so the question is nonsensical. Marriage is only until death, do you part. The saints pray for us. There is no betrayal. Are you asking, can you love someone in hell? The wife you describe would be a devil. Only the damned would hate us.

And if you wouldn’t be married yet, would you try to leave her?

FATHER JOE: The theoretical question has no basis in reality.

I think it is not easy to love such a person and I don’t know what would be Christian. To risk punishment from God and not break her heart (by leaving) means staying with her; or leaving and not betraying your idea of love, simply stopping telling her that you love her.

FATHER JOE: Am I missing something in translation? What you write makes no sense. Why would God punish you? Love is an act of the will. When you make promises you are expected to keep them. Love in marriage should be both joyous and sacrificial.

I know if you truly love, God won’t listen to the accusations of your wife. But CAN you love a woman who will accuse you before God in the name of love? Would you risk her accusations or better leave?

FATHER JOE: God is not capricious. Why would the wife accuse the husband of anything before God? God judges us, not human beings. We get what we deserve. No one escapes both divine justice and mercy.
Leslie, on September 18, 2013 at 2:06 am said:

I have been realizing there have been a lot of things like Franciscan saints or even things about St. Francis himself popping up a lot. But mostly it is St. Francis things (Be it a quote from him, a prayer from him, his prayers made into songs being played at a funeral and Mass, movies, even a garden satute of St. Francis to other things)

For example, I come to visit my grandmother who lives out of state (she is not Catholic) and when I get to her house there is sweet St. Francis in the flowers, a garden statue.

The most recent one is I decided on the way back from visting family to stop at this pretty little parish I passed on the way up here. So as I was looking up information about when the Mass times are I read in the history of the parish it was founded by Franciscan monks.

These coincidences aren’t necessary over the top but they are frequent.

My question is why. Is there a reason for all this? Is it all just a
coincidence?