Ask a Priest

5,417 Responses

Lizethnunez, on February 12, 2025 at 2:55 am said:

When going to confession, do I have to go into detail?

FATHER JOE: The confessor does not want every intimate detail but needs to know enough for counsel and penance. When it comes to mortal sin, you should confess species (type of sin) and number (how many times).
Ludovico, on February 9, 2025 at 10:03 am said:

While the priest was absolving me, I remembered a sin (not kneeling during the Eucharistic prayer, I don’t know if it’s mortal), but I didn’t confess it because I didn’t want to interrupt the priest.

FATHER JOE: It may be wrong but is not a sin.
Jeremy Kok, on February 8, 2025 at 8:14 am said:

Hello, Father Joe, I would like to ask this question regarding a person mentioned by Blessed Anne Catherine Emmerich which is Mary Heli and according to her, Mary Heli is the eldest sister of the Blessed Virgin Mary. So I would like to ask is this Mary the biological sister of the Blessed Virgin? Since, Anne Catherine revealed that Saint Joachim and Anne had two daughters, so which is true Father?

FATHER JOE: I would restrict myself to Scripture on this one. Mary of Cleophas is probably the Blessed Virgin’s sister-in-law.
M Samudio, on February 1, 2025 at 11:58 pm said:

Hello,

Is it ok to give a non-Catholic a third class relic? This person is a non-denominational evangelical Christian who has asked for prayers.

Thank you!

Maria

FATHER JOE: What would they do with it? If they would throw it away as idolatrous then I would say not to offer it. We do not believe in magic. Sacramentals have value because of the faith that we as believers have in them respective of almighty God. Relics are helps for intercessory prayers from saints. If one does not accept this, why give them the relic?
Lizethnunez, on January 27, 2025 at 1:44 am said:

Hello,

I didnt know that i was misusing God in prayer but after some research i found out I was. do I have to go to confession for that

FATHER JOE: How could you possibly do this?
Alyssa, on January 22, 2025 at 8:42 pm said:

Hi Father,

Can I take a job that requires me to work on Sunday even though it’s not an essential public service? Also, if there is a chance they would let me choose which weekend day I would like off, and I’d honestly prefer Saturday off so I can go to the vigil mass and run errands on Saturday night. Public transportation is better on Saturday evening compared to Sunday morning. If I take Saturday off, it would require me to work on Sunday. Is that okay?

FATHER JOE: In days gone by I would say you should absolutely avoid working on Sunday. But for many it is a necessity for survival and the care of families. If you can find a way to make the weekend Mass (either on Saturday or Sunday) you should be okay. God and his Church understand the struggles faced by God’s people in a secular society. Do the best you can.
Lizethnunez, on January 19, 2025 at 10:13 pm said:

hello,

just wondering what the bishop name is where you’re at?

FATHER JOE: Robert Cardinal McElroy, Archbishop of Washington, DC
Jeff Lawson, on January 19, 2025 at 1:07 am said:

Is it appropriate to bless bibles…..I did not think they needed to be blessed.

FATHER JOE: Yes, it is appropriate to have bibles blessed.
Lizethnunez, on January 12, 2025 at 12:23 am said:

hello,

If I have a question and I deliberately keep the question in confession does that invalidate the confession?

FATHER JOE: Confession is about sins not questions.
Maria, on January 11, 2025 at 5:21 pm said:

Hello,

If I don’t remember how much I did the mortal sin can I just say the mortal sin and not say I don’t remember how many times it was.

FATHER JOE: Yes, you obviously cannot confess what you do not remember.
Bryce, on January 10, 2025 at 5:55 am said:

i have a question father

FATHER JOE: What is the question?
Gabriel, on January 4, 2025 at 10:01 pm said:

Hello,
I was baptized in the Catholic Church, but not raised exactly as a Catholic. I’ve begun to learn more about the Faith as an adult and I’ve found that it makes sense. However, I already had some spiritual beliefs and I also think they make sense. Right now, it’s like I don’t know in what to believe.
I’m going to Sunday Mass, but at the time of reciting the Creed, I silently change the part of “I believe… in the holy Catholic Church…” to I “want to believe in the holy Catholic Church, if this is the right thing to do…” or something like that.
Is this acceptable or would this invalidate my participation at Mass?
Thank you!

FATHER JOE: It is unfortunate but true that many are baptized as children into the Catholic Church but given little to no religious formation. The creed is a statement of faith, not a petitionary prayer. As a public acclamation of faith, no individual has the authority to change what it states. Either recite it in full or remain silent. Further, if you do not believe in the four marks of the Church established by Christ then you should refrain from taking Holy Communion. The “Amen” to the sacrament is a profession in the real presence of the Eucharist and an affirmation to the Church that makes it available.
Lizethnunez, on January 2, 2025 at 5:44 pm said:

Hello,

I know that if I didn’t say how many times I did the mortal it’s not valid. So I went back to confession and said remember the sin I told you last time?

And the priest said “yes” so I told him ” I don’t remember if I did more than 3 times ” is my confession valid? Sine I didn’t resay the sin again?

I told him a hint of what sin it was and he did remember.

FATHER JOE: Trust your confessor. You are absolved.
Lizethnunez, on December 27, 2024 at 5:09 pm said:

Hello, I have a question

I confessed a mortal sins but didn’t think I needed to say how many times it was because it was only once. Is my confession still valid?

FATHER JOE: Yes, it is okay.
AA, on December 26, 2024 at 1:53 am said:

Hi, do women need their father’s approval for them to get married or can they make the decision by themselves? Does the fathers approval carry any weight at all?

FATHER JOE: Much depends upon your culture. But in the modern West, it is your decision and not that of parents.
Mary Jo, on December 23, 2024 at 3:24 pm said:

Hello father,

I have a question regarding marriage. I’m dating a Catholic boy, and we both want to get married in the future. Obviously, we had to discuss the topic about children. My issue is that I have a health problem, a lipoma (which is a non-cancerous tumor) in my lower back. I consulted pregnancy with my doctor and he only said that I would have to rest a lot because of my back problems in general, since I’ve had two surgeries in the past. He didn’t seem to mind the lipoma at all, and well, he only adviced me to get tests done before getting pregnant to see how things were going with my lipoma. Anyways…after some time, I found out in internet articles that the hormonal changes during a pregnancy can cause the lipoma to grow, though it’s mostly a possibility. I didn’t discuss this with my doctor.

My dilemma is this. I know the Church doesn’t allow contraception and encourages couples to have children. I’m scared that a problem like this, if in the future my doctor advices me not to get pregnant, could be a reason not to marry him, since we would have to live in abstinence most of the time, and we wouldn’t be able to have children, not because we don’t want to, but because it would be advisable not to. I’m really in anguish because of this and I don’t want to be a cause for us to sin.

Thank you in advance for your reply, father.

FATHER JOE: If you want to get married then you both likely want a family. Every pregnancy brings risks. The two of you have to discuss this with a local priest.
Natalia, on December 19, 2024 at 7:34 pm said:

How to find meaning in my own life if I choose to believe in God?

Many people would tell you that life without God would not make any sense because we die and that would be the end. I agree because I really fear this kind of death. Heaven calms my mind. However, if almighty God is real, what’s the point of living this life? God is almighty. He can help everyone and this means no one needs my help. I’m miserable and unneeded. What’s the point of say studying medicine if God can easily heal everybody? I’m not a medical student but this thought often crosses my mind.

When I was a child and a teenager my faith was much stronger. Later I became an atheist and then an agnostic. Now I don’t know who I am but work hard to regain my faith. Not having faith seemed wrong to me but it gave me a sense of my own importance, the feeling that I’m capable of something more than just kneeling to ask or thank. I don’t even know what is really better for me.

FATHER JOE:

How can you not find meaning if you believe in God? Such belief is not just a movement toward faith in the person but the movement of God and his grace in the soul. The prospect of heaven is about more than relieving anxiety about death. It is all about unity with the Lord and rendering eternal adulation to the Almighty. We find ourselves in knowing God. Our purpose or meaning is to know him, love him, serve him and give him glory.

It seems that you are miserable because you have placed yourself in competition with God. That is an untenable position. As for being needed, the good Lord gave us one another to be companions on the journey. Many will only know the love and mercy of God because of the compassion found in his faithful children.

Maybe you must work less for faith and surrender more to the transformative grace of God? Dispose yourself to faith by reading the Gospels, associating with other people of faith and living the life of charity. We should exert our energy and time in trying to make a positive difference for others. After having done as much as we can for the good, then we must place everything in God’s hands. I suspect that many struggle to believe in God when they fail to see our Lord in their neighbor and in lives of caring discipleship. We cannot fix everything. There will always be suffering, sickness, pain and death in this mortal world. That which cannot be fixed must be transformed. That is the meaning of solidarity with Christ and his summons to take up the cross. A sign of defeat becomes one of victory.
Chile, on December 18, 2024 at 12:30 pm said:

hello Father joe I have a 5 questions here

Question #1: Do born again use sign of cross?

Question#2: Do born again use holy Rosary?

Question #3: Do born again attend catholic church?

Question #4: Do born again use Communion?

And Question #5: I accidentally fall the cross how do I forgive to god

(I’m a born again I schooled on catholic college I am from Philippines)

Thank you! And god bless

FATHER JOE: What do you mean by “born again”? Catholics define spiritual regeneration as faith and baptism. Many Evangelicals reference it as a faith affirmation in Jesus without the sacrament. Thus, while I cannot say what Protestants do or do not do, Catholics obviously make the sign of the cross, recite the rosary, attend Mass at Catholic churches, and take the Eucharist. Not sure what you mean by your fifth question. Peace!
L., on December 16, 2024 at 8:45 pm said:

Is it a sin if you are a minor to use social media, without your parents knowing, if you do not use it for sinful things?

FATHER JOE: It would depend upon how old you might be. Children should be obedient to parents. Adults can respect but disagree with one another.
STEPHANIE, on December 11, 2024 at 6:15 pm said:

Hello Fr. Joe, I have a question regarding being an empath. I have always been a sensitive person tuned into other people’s moods and sufferings. I have always wanted to help people with their suffering since I was young. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with concerns for people, their feelings, sufferings, etc. Is this a gift from God, or something that should be shunned.

FATHER JOE:

Forgive me, but I tend to be somewhat skeptical when people tell me that they are empathic. Such a claim is much more credible when others make it about you. The problem with a personal attestation to such a gift is that it lends itself to self-deception and even a sense of superiority over others who are less attuned or sensitive. I also suspect that Star Trek has tainted the waters with its fictional empaths who can read minds or sense the feelings of others. That is not really what a Christian empath is about. Some are simply very good at reading body language and other non-verbal signs. Many project their own anxieties or concerns upon others. This can cause great harm because they can lead the gullible into claiming issues that do not belong to them. There are a few saintly empathic priests like St. Padre Pio and St. John Vianney who as confessors could read souls. I have also known exorcists who have used sensitives who can sense things both seen and unseen. But such a gift can be dangerous and frequently becomes a burden. One must be a true person of faith and prayer so as not to be frightened in the presence of a hidden demonic presence. One might even seek to ignore the signs so as not to attract the attention of something unseen.

You may want to help others and that is noble. Maybe you are called to be a counselor— or maybe not? But remember, such a call is more about listening than talking or imposing. It can be hard to listen to another’s pain. Often, we want to render immediate healing, but such is not within our power. People need time and grace to heal. There are some lives that cannot be fixed in this world. The fact that you speak of being overwhelmed by the presumed and unspoken brokenness of others is likely telling. How can you pursue any ministry of such outreach when just the hint of another’s pain is too much? You cannot assist others when you cannot help yourself. I think the answer to what you should do is in your own words. You may be soft-hearted but that is not true empathy. Those who wear their feelings on their sleeve are not the ones to give counsel but rather the ones to receive it. God bless!
Jeremy Kok, on December 2, 2024 at 6:08 pm said:

Hello Father Joe, I would like ask when Jesus appeared to Saint Anthony of Padua as an infant was that divine manifestation or he literally transform himself into an infant? Because several Marian apparitions also revealed that Jesus also appeared as an infant along with Mary.

FATHER JOE: Our Lord can appear as anything he pleases. He is now the glorified and risen Christ. He is God and man. What difference does it matter if that man appears to us a full grown or as a child. The incarnation is still just as real. Even more wondrous, Jesus comes to us each Sunday as the Eucharist, under the appearances of bread and wine.
Timothy, on November 30, 2024 at 5:44 pm said:

Hello Fr. Joe,

Is it wrong to look at non-sinful images of attractive girls? They are dressed modestly and I look at them to admire their beauty. The problem is later on at night I get impure thoughts about them, even though all the images I look at are pure and I’m not trying to lust after them. Is it wrong for me to look at these girls knowing that unwanted thoughts will come later?

FATHER JOE: You have to ask yourself, are you admiring the beauty of creation or just satisfying a lurid desire?
H, on November 24, 2024 at 10:32 pm said:

Hello Father,

I have a question for you. Sorry this is a bit long. I need some advice and guidance please. I have spoken to many other parish priests for some advice and they couldn’t give me a advice that was helpful.

Basically, i have people in my family, in laws, community etc who mirror demonic behaviour (my parents, my Mother inlaw etc) even strangers that pass by portray this behaviour. I am being attacked.

I dont know how i can obey the commandment honour thy Mother and Father and everyone else around me if they want to pick fights with me, bully me, break my boundaries, endanger my baby through negligent behaviour, they broke up my relationship with everyone in my family and in laws, they vent and gossip to me non stop like an addict, so now i end up in grave sin because of the sinful affairs they tell me i shouldnt have heard even when i tell them to stop? They are addicted to bad behaviour and they just cant stop. They crave and thrive in this behaviour.

The only thing im doing so far is contacting my dad through text to make sure my parents are doing ok and occasionally send money. I dont speak to my mother in law. I lost so many people in my life that end up in a tragic break up.

I spent my whole like forgiving trying to make peace and reconciling and then end up in a conflict or falling into depression and even being depressed is sinful, i should be thriving with joy because of Gods presence but i cant do that, i cant make peace and be happy.

I grew up in family violence, i worked and helped pay for my parents rent and bills. But my mother is projecting all her problems on me and has attempted to physically harm me.

My mother in law is racially emotionally abusive and she ostracised me out of the family. She projected the death of her husband ( who passed away 20 years ago) on me, she made fun of my catholic faith, she made me go to shops with her to watch her pick fights with ethnic shop keepers because im ethnic person etc this is some of the many examples of things she has done. I have reconciled with her because she wanted to and my husband want me to but she went back to her bad behaviour, she came over to offer help and reconcile with me by helping with my newborn after my csection and all i did was clean her bathroom, her bedroom, make her lunch, cook her dinner, clean up after her mess, she vented, gossiped to me and told me personal affairs of others non stop, she complained, she left my baby in her cot with door closed with the heater on and my baby was laying in unsafe room temperature, she was gasping for air, she was in a thermal sleep sack. My MIL said she just felt cold and my baby seemed fine she was playing with her dummy in her mouth.

I have been told my priests, all i can do is make peace, or “Mary probably suffered from her in laws” (i dont discredit Mary’s suffering but that wasnt helpful).

What do you think is the best approach? I want to do whats best for God and i want to obey his commandments.

Kind regards,

H

FATHER JOE: Forgive injuries and love them. Leave the rest to God. Can you do that?
paolobellopede5, on November 20, 2024 at 8:08 pm said:

Hello Father Joe,

I am seeking some clarification regarding the authority parents have over their adult children that may help me a lot. Specifically, I would like to ask the following:

1 Are adult children required to avoid behaviors they believe their parents would disapprove of, even if this disapproval hasn’t been explicitly stated?

2 Are they obligated to follow instructions given for their own good, even if these instructions may not genuinely benefit them?

3 How should adult children handle situations where their parents’ wishes conflict with a vow or commitment they have made?
I appreciate any guidance you can provide. Thank you very much for your time and consideration!

(I have already tried to send this, but since it looks like it has not been sent, i’ve changed the form to prevent it from begin blocked as spam)

FATHER JOE: The question for adults is whether their behavior would muster approval from almighty God. Adults are not under the immediate authority of parents. However, they should respect and honor them. This is apart from the concern of authority in general when you live in someone else’s house. The owner of the house is the master of the home.
David, on November 18, 2024 at 11:45 pm said:

Dear Father,

I pasted below part of the Gospel from this past Sunday. How should we understand the words: “…this generation will not pass away until all these things have taken place”? The generation that Jesus addressed this to has indeed passed away. Perhaps Jesus was speaking symbolically?

Thank you,

David

“And then they will see ‘the Son of Man coming in the clouds’ with great power and glory, and then he will send out the angels and gather his elect from the four winds, from the end of the earth to the end of the sky.

“Learn a lesson from the fig tree. When its branch becomes tender and sprouts leaves, you know that summer is near. In the same way, when you see these things happening, know that he is near, at the gates.
Amen, I say to you, this generation will not pass away
until all these things have taken place.”

FATHER JOE:

Here are the words of Jesus that you are referencing:

Mark 13:30 – “Amen, I say to you, this generation will not pass away until all these things have taken place.”

Matt. 24:34 – “Amen, I say to you, this generation will not pass away until all these things have taken place.”

Luke 21:32 – “Amen, I say to you, this generation will not pass away until all these things have taken place.”

Critics of the faith point to this prophetic verse as an error on Christ’s part that negates his divinity and what we believe about him. However, Christians who included these remarks in the Synoptic gospels saw no problem or contradiction to their faith.

It is true that many believers did expect an eminent return of Christ that would culminate with the consummation of all things, judgment and the end of the world. However, our Lord warned them that while there would be signs for the End-Times, it would still catch them unaware and that no one knew the day of final reckoning.

Second, “these things” did not refer to the end of the world. What is being referenced is the end of the old order and the breaking into the world of Christ’s kingdom. Note that our Lord makes a dire prediction about the temple: “As he was making his way out of the temple area one of his disciples said to him, ‘Look, teacher, what stones and what buildings!’ Jesus said to him, ‘Do you see these great buildings? There will not be one stone left upon another that will not be thrown down.’ As he was sitting on the Mount of Olives opposite the temple area, Peter, James, John, and Andrew asked him privately, ‘Tell us, when will this happen, and what sign will there be when all these things are about to come to an end?’ Jesus began to say to them, ‘See that no one deceives you. Many will come in my name saying, “I am he,” and they will deceive many. When you hear of wars and reports of wars do not be alarmed; such things must happen, but it will not yet be the end’” (Mark 13:1-7). The temple will be destroyed by the Romans in 70 AD. The prophecy is fulfilled.

Additional material is added and organized differently in the other gospels and so there may be some confusion for the modern reader with questions about the end of the world. However, note what has indeed come to pass . . . Jesus has died and risen from the grave, he has descended to the dead, he has ascended into heaven to sit at the right hand of the Father, and he abides with the Church through the mystical body, the living Word and the sacrament of the Eucharist. The time of the second coming is delayed that many more might be born and come into a saving relationship with Jesus.