Ask a Priest

5,442 Responses

Gary, on February 3, 2023 at 8:57 pm said:

My fiancé says that premarital sex is a sin but feels like it is ok if a priest blesses the engagement. A blessing does not make it not a sin does it ?

FATHER JOE: The priest who blesses an engaged couple is praying that you will both be chaste and faithful in preparation for marriage. Sex outside of marriage forfeits the blessing and saving grace. It is mortal sin. Does she really believe what she is saying or is she trying to manipulate you into bed? I will pray for you and the necessary discernment.
Jeff, on February 1, 2023 at 4:49 pm said:

so what would you say about the near death experience stories when people claim to be sent back?

FATHER JOE: I would say they are not reliable as they are not truly and completely dead. Now give me someone who is verifiably dead or rotting and if he or she comes back then I will pay attention! HINT: Lazarus in the tomb.
Sasha, on January 31, 2023 at 3:21 pm said:

Is someone who is baptized and received their first holy communion in the polish national catholic church allowed to receive communion in the roman catholic church? Or in the eyes of the roman catholic church, would they not ve eligible to receive communion? Thanks

FATHER JOE: The sacraments celebrated in the Polish National Church are valid but not licit. If they are unable to take communion in their own church then as a matter of conscience they might receive in the Roman Catholic Church.
bluruby, on January 31, 2023 at 12:54 am said:

Hello Fr. Joesph. I hope you are well.I have been celebate for over 10 yrs.Whilst I was in deep sleep the act of self pleasure arose (masturbation) What I want to know please is it a Mortal Sin? I do not even think about sexual acts during the day or at anytime. Do I need to go to Confession? Is this a demonic attack? I want and I try to get close to Our Lord in every way, I go to Confessions regularly. Thank you Fr. Joesph

FATHER JOE: You cannot commit mortal sin while sleeping and dreaming. The will is compromised. I suspect that the incident is just a natural reminder of your humanity.
Jos, on January 29, 2023 at 7:15 pm said:

Hello fr Joe,

I just wanted to ask are impure thoughts considered a mortal or venial sin? Also how do we know for sure that we have commited mortal sin and it’s not just scrupulousity. I had an impure thoughts which became hard to resist yesterday and today I am feeling guilt but idk if it’s mortal or venial.
Thanks in advance!

FATHER JOE: They are likely venial but one must be alert to more serious sins that emerge from the imagination.
Darla, on January 29, 2023 at 3:44 pm said:

I have seen conflicting opinions and would like yours.

When you die [what is the connection] regarding sin and where you are ending up? Do you have an opportunity to learn from your mistakes and repent and be saved after you die when the final judgement comes around? And what Scriptures support which beliefs?

FATHER JOE:

The learning curve is in this world, not in the next. Sin is more than mistakes or accidents. There is real culpability. Venial sins do not destroy the divine life within us. However, mortal sin severs our friendship with God. While there is mortal life, the opportunity for repentance and faith remain. However, once we die there is no second chance and/or reincarnation. At the moment of death we experience a particular judgment. The soul will then know heaven or hell or purgatory. At the final judgment, there will be no more purgatory, just heaven or hell. At the end of the world all things will know the consummation of Christ.

Matthew 5:22,25-26 – “But I say to you, whoever is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment, and whoever says to his brother, ‘Raqa,’ will be answerable to the Sanhedrin, and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ will be liable to fiery Gehenna. . . . Settle with your opponent quickly while on the way to court with him. Otherwise your opponent will hand you over to the judge, and the judge will hand you over to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison. Amen, I say to you, you will not be released until you have paid the last penny.”

Matthew 7:21-23 – “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name? Did we not drive out demons in your name? Did we not do mighty deeds in your name?’ Then I will declare to them solemnly, ‘I never knew you. Depart from me, you evildoers.’”

Matthew 18:32-35 – “His master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you your entire debt because you begged me to. Should you not have had pity on your fellow servant, as I had pity on you?’ Then in anger his master handed him over to the torturers until he should pay back the whole debt. So will my heavenly Father do to you, unless each of you forgives his brother from his heart.”

Matthew 25:45-46 – “He will answer them, ‘Amen, I say to you, what you did not do for one of these least ones, you did not do for me.’ l And these will go off to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

Romans 2:5-8 – By your stubbornness and impenitent heart, you are storing up wrath for yourself for the day of wrath and revelation of the just judgment of God, who will repay everyone according to his works: eternal life to those who seek glory, honor, and immortality through perseverance in good works,
but wrath and fury to those who selfishly disobey the truth and obey wickedness.

2 Corinthians 5:10 – For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive recompense, according to what he did in the body, whether good or evil.

First, we cannot save ourselves, only God can save us. However, we must be disposed or open to the Lord’s mercy and saving grace. We must first repent so as to believe. We must forgive if we want to be forgiven.

Second, Jesus is the redeemer and thus is the Way, the Truth and the Life. He is the bridge to heaven. There is no salvation apart from Christ. Because the Church constitutes our Lord’s mystical body, union with Jesus also mandates communion with his Church. Jesus sits upon the right side of the Father as the judge of all. He is our mediator and Lord.

Third, we know a spiritual regeneration in faith and baptism where we become members of the Church, inheritors of the kingdom of Christ, adopted sons and daughters of the heavenly Father, kin to Christ and children of Mary our Queen Mother in the royal household of God.

Fourth, a saving faith must be realized in loving obedience. Such a faith cannot be sustained if separated either from fidelity to the commandments or from a living and active charity. Otherwise it is a lie or if initially genuine, it can sour and die. While maintained we live in the sure and certain “hope” of our salvation.

Fifth at the moment of death our orientation is made permanent, either toward the Lord or away from him. Justified souls are in love with both God and neighbor. They desire reunion with loved ones where together they will give glory and praise to almighty God. The damned failed to love as they should and bring the damnation of hell upon themselves. The souls of the damned are spiritually dead and can know nothing of the joys of heaven. Where there should have been love there was either hatred or apathy. I suspect the tiniest divine spark that sustains them in existence constitutes the painful fire of hell.

Sixth, while there is no repentance after death, there is a transitory purgation for many who love the Lord but not as completely as they should. Venial sins and the temporal punishment of sin must be satisfied. The fires of divine love purify such souls as gold in a furnace. The debt is paid in Christ but they still owe the proverbial last penny. Unlike Lutheranism with its notion of juridical imputation, Catholicism believes that the saints are truly made perfect for heaven. Our Lord does not mask or disguise our identity or standing but rather changes it by the operation of grace. While we remain creatures, we are divinized in a sense by our likeness to Christ.

Seventh, the Easter mystery of Christ’s resurrection and appearances is a testimony of our Lord’s victory. Love is stronger than death. Jesus conquers the grave and gives us a share in his new life. We look to the glorified Christ and to the assumed Virgin Mary as signs of our own restoration body and soul. Our bodies will not remain corpses and we will not be ghosts forever. We will be remade and given imperishable bodies.
Elizabeth, on January 29, 2023 at 4:48 am said:

Thank you for your reply re the Mark of the Beast .I should just ignore this talk of people losing their salvation? It is really stressing me out
Elizabeth, on January 28, 2023 at 9:37 pm said:

Thank you for your helpful reply re the Mark of the beast ,I saw recently a Catholic speaker on you tube say it is in the scriptures that the Mark cannot be forgiven and the person loses their salvation who takes the Mark. He did not say where in the scriptures. Your thoughts ?

FATHER JOE: Do not believe everything you read, even when written by Catholics.
hibernatorslibrary, on January 28, 2023 at 4:02 pm said:

Dear Father Joe. My father and I are having a discussion of great doctrinal significance. My dad believes J R R Tolkien created orcs. I believe that God created orcs because, after all, it is heresy to claim that anybody but God can create. He suggested we ask a priest.

Thank you and God bless,

Rachel

FATHER JOE: Orcs are based on folklore and are similar to goblins. As a fiction they are authored by Tolkien. God created Tolkien.
Peter, on January 27, 2023 at 11:54 am said:

How does the ascension of Jesus Christ teach us as Christians?

FATHER JOE: Jesus ascends to the Father to sit on the throne at his right hand. Jesus is our Mediator and Judge. He goes to prepare a place for us.
Teri, on January 26, 2023 at 5:11 pm said:

I know a Eucharist Minister who is also a “Lightworker.” What does the Church say about this?

Why does the Church seem to have a “don’t ask, don’t tell” attitude towards things like when two people want to get married and they have been living together and they go through the marriage classes? They have to give their address so the church knows they live together outside of marriage, but no one seems to mind.

Or even annulments, which I have gone through. When my wedding day came the priest at the last minute got sick. My family was close to two Franciscan brothers and they performed the ceremony. When I applied for my annulment it was done in a snap because the annulment council had been looking for a way to discredit the brothers and said they were not authorized to marry couples so they used my annulment as proof.

FATHER JOE:

Sorry, but what is a Lightworker? If it has something to do with the occult, then the Church would seriously frown upon it.

A priest preparing a couple for marriage would likely challenge a couple for cohabitation and premarital sex. However, Church ministers and other staff would have no interest in violating trust and in parading the sins of others in public.

As for the annulment, I suspect you got it for a legitimate reason. Franciscan brothers are not authorized to witness marriages, only priests and deacons. Indeed, even these ministers must have faculties to witness marriages and the permission of the local pastor who has jurisdiction.
John, on January 26, 2023 at 2:59 pm said:

How are we to interpret Mark 16:18?

“They will pick up snakes with their hands and when they drink deadly poison it will not hurt them.”

Isn’t this promoting dangerous behavior? Should we take this figuratively? I’d appreciate your feedback.

Sincerely,
John

FATHER JOE:

It is best to read from Mark 16:16 to Mark 16:18. “He said to them, ‘Go into the whole world and proclaim the gospel to every creature. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved; whoever does not believe will be condemned. These signs will accompany those who believe: in my name they will drive out demons, they will speak new languages. They will pick up serpents with their hands, and if they drink any deadly thing, it will not harm them. They will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.’”

Our Lord is not recommending dangerous behavior. The emphasis here is the great commission to take the Good News to the whole world. It is this saving faith that is lived out and shared that makes all the difference. The various signs are in respects to certain people but not all. Demons will be exorcised (Acts 5:16, 8:7, 16:16-18, 19:11-12). Some will be given the gift of tongues (Acts 2:4, 10:46, 19:6, 1 Corinthians 12:10, 12:28). Others will receive the gift of healing (Acts 9:17, 28:8). Miracles will happen. Some will also be protected from physical harm, such as from venomous snakes or even poison. Note the story involving Paul: “Paul had gathered a bundle of brushwood and was putting it on the fire when a viper, escaping from the heat, fastened on his hand. When the natives saw the snake hanging from his hand, they said to one another, ‘This man must certainly be a murderer; though he escaped the sea, Justice has not let him remain alive.’ But he shook the snake off into the fire and suffered no harm” (Acts 28:3-5). One would not go out looking for trouble but sometimes trouble finds us. Such signs will indeed be realized.
Katie, on January 24, 2023 at 3:18 am said:

Can I ask a priest to forgive me for all my sins? Also, is wearing leggings a sin?

FATHER JOE:

There is no sin in leggings.

Every time one goes to confession to a priest we are seeking to have all our sins forgiven.
Steven, on January 24, 2023 at 1:59 am said:

I am a Jewish man who wants to marry a Catholic woman who is involved with an annulment. What do I need to do on my part?

FATHER JOE:

It is hard to respond as there are so few details in your question. Regarding the Catholic woman, given that her first bond was celebrated in the Catholic Church, she is not free to marry again until or unless there is a formal annulment. (If there is some confusion here and the first bond was outside the Church, she would need a declaration of nullity before being free to marry.)

As for yourself, it is my presumption that you are either single or a widower. If you were previously married, and not being under our laws, such a marriage would still be regarded as binding. While a legal divorce is now part of the annulment process, we do not recognize the authority of the state to sever what are presumed to be genuine marriages or natural bonds.

Given that you should both find yourselves free to marry, a priest would assist you to do so. However, there are certain complications that must be acknowledged. Jews and Catholics can get married in the Church before a priest or deacon; however note that the Jewish faith frowns upon such unions. With the proper dispensation a rabbi can preside at the ceremony in a neutral setting (neither a synagogue nor a church) with a priest in attendance to witness the union. However, few rabbis will conduct such services. Further, if of child-bearing age, the Catholic party must pledge to do all in his or her power to raise any offspring as Catholics. This is a requirement even to marry a Jewish person in a church.

I wish you well and will keep you both in prayer.
May, on January 19, 2023 at 11:32 pm said:

Is it a sin to put yourself in a situation where you might do something that is objectively a mortal sin, but you’re not fully going to consent to it? Lets say you want to do something that might lead to you involuntarily committing an objectively grave sin (like very bad thoughts about someone).

FATHER JOE: Placing ourselves into the near occasion of sin can indeed be grievously sinful, especially if we are being frivolous and playing games in seeking something morally denied us.
Elizabeth, on January 19, 2023 at 7:40 am said:

xFr,
Does the church teach anything DEFINITE re about a future manifestation of the Mark of the Beast ? How is the Mark unforgivable ? I can’t understand how this is as the Church teaches all sins are forgivable ?

FATHER JOE:

You are referring to Revelation 13: 16-18: “It forced all the people, small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to be given a stamped image on their right hands or their foreheads, so that no one could buy or sell except one who had the stamped image of the beast’s name or the number that stood for its name. Wisdom is needed here; one who understands can calculate the number of the beast, for it is a number that stands for a person. His number is six hundred and sixty-six.”

Catholics are not fundamentalists and we would not take literally the symbolism of the Apocalypse. The beast signifies the pagan Roman emperors that persecuted early Christians, the single most being Nero. His name in Hebraic numerology is designated as 666. Many exegetes presume that the mark of the beast has to do with the coinage that bore his image. (Remember the incident when Jesus was asked about the legitimacy of taxation and he asked whose image was on a coin. When the answer came back Caesar he told his listeners to give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and to God what belongs to God. Of course, ultimately our loyalty and most everything belong to almighty God as the Creator.)

We belong not to the world or the Roman Empire but to Christ and his kingdom. We have a jealous God. He will not share us. We might live in the world but we must never forget that we are wayfarers and our true home is heaven. We may give human respect to the earthly community but we place our ultimate faith and find our values in the Lord.

The mark of the beast in the narrative is compelled and not voluntary. This mitigates responsibility. What is damning is that some worship the beast and thus violate the first of the commandments. Such strips one’s name from the Book of Life because we are only permitted to render worship to God. This work of true worship is perfected in the Mass. The so-called beast would urge idolatry and an abandonment of the Eucharist. We place our trust less in men and foremost in the Lord. Christ is the invisible head of the Church and the Pope is his vicar and the visible head. The beast and/or the anti-Christ would attack the Church and all who remain steadfast. As in the early Church, while there may be a reluctance to reconcile traitors to the faith, today the sacrament of penance is more liberally offered. Such has been the operation of the keys given to Peter and his successors. As long as one lives, there is the chance for repentance and absolution.
Adric, on January 17, 2023 at 6:54 am said:

Dear Fr. Joe, I just want to thank you for your very detailed answer to my question about Hell.

I read your description of why you became a priest. It’s an interesting story. Thank you for sharing it.

If I ever have a son, I have promised that I will encourage him if he shows signs of having a vocation to the priesthood.

IMHO you are a very intelligent, knowledgable, and thoughtful priest. I think you do a great service by answering all these questions.

Right now I have been going through some severe pain due to kidney stones. I spent the last two days in considerable pain. At first I admit I was tempting God to heal me right away if He truly exists. I hate experiencing pain, because it keeps me from doing other things. I get wrapped up in my own pain. Why should I experience pain?

However, no matter what happens, I have this simple version of what I believe. I believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Messiah, and that He is the Son of God. I am just copying Simon Peter when I say this. I do not need a better model than St. Peter, do I?

I believe because of personal experiences. I was saved spiritually and physically by my faith in Jesus Christ.

The Buddhists are right when they say life is suffering. Why does God create a world in which his humans, made in his own image, must suffer so much? But it’s all just a test, is it not? They say God does not test us beyond our abilities.

One last comment. I read that St. Thomas Aquinas said the following. He asked, would God condemn a man who never heard of Jesus Christ to eternal Hell? St. Thomas replied, of course not, that would not be just. Instead, at the moment of that ignorant man’s death, God would send an Angel who would reveal to that man the Gospel. Then it would be up to that man to accept or deny. I can’t remember the reference.

People ask how God can be love, given all the suffering in this world. But somehow I still believe. Apparently, faith is a gift. Why love God even when He makes me suffer? It seems irrational. Yet so it is.

In conclusion, I believe what it says in Scripture. All who call on the name of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, shall be saved. I must rely on that, because I am such a mixed up sinner. I just can’t get things right.

I wish Jesus would come today. I am so tired of this world. As beautiful as it is, I know it will pass away very soon.

I wish I could experience a private vision like those saints. I’ll try fasting.

Come, Lord Jesus, Amen.
JC, on January 15, 2023 at 8:56 pm said:

I want to help a girl at work who’s car broken down and had ‘t got the money for a used one. I have an older car that is in good condition that I bought years ago. My husband doesn’t want me to lend it to her. His my husband the final day in a Catholic marriage?

FATHER JOE: I am not sure what you are asking or saying in the final line of the comment. You and your husband should be on the same page about such gifts.
Charlotte, on January 14, 2023 at 11:11 pm said:

Dear Fr Joe
(I have 2 questions)

I am a 12 year old Catholic girl. I pray every night, go to church every Sunday, (to the best of my ability) and try to be kind and act as Jesus would. I’m not perfect obviously, but I try, and I know in my heart that I love God and Jesus. I have constant anxiety that I am not doing enough, and that I will go to hell when I die. Am I doing what I need to do? Do I need to do more? If so what?

(Alright now question number 2)

Are white lies bad? For example if my grandma bought me some ugly clothes, and asked if I liked them. I wouldn’t tell her that I think the clothes are ugly because that would be mean, right? Or if my freind asked me if I liked her new haircut, and I didn’t, should I tell her that, or should I tell her it looks good?

FATHER JOE:

You are doing the right things, but you must also surrender your anxiety and trust the Lord. God is not out to get you but to save you. Jesus loves you and knows your heart. If you walk with the Lord then you have every reason for confidence and hope in salvation. Try to find peace and some level of joy in the here-and-now. God wants you to be happy. You are young and all sorts of possibilities are before you. Make the most of the life that God has given you.

We should avoid deception but there are ways to dialogue that are still affirmative and not hurtful. For instance, while the clothing may not be your style or not something you would purchase for yourself, you know that your grandmother’s gifts are expressions of her love. That is really what you are receiving. So you might not “like” a blouse or skirt, but you can truthfully say you “love it” because you love her. If a friend asks about her new haircut, I would simply return, “if you like it and it makes you happy then I am all for it.” If your friend herself shares reservations then you can chime in. If she is unhappy about it then simply add something like “thank goodness, hair grows back and you can try something else next time.” Exchanges can be tactful, honest and kind. Peace.
Adric, on January 12, 2023 at 3:48 am said:

Dear Fr. Joe,

I have a rather deep question for you. I’m sure you’ve heard it before. It concerns everlasting punishment in Hell.

Of course this is not a new topic for me, but what got me to thinking about it was a Japanese film called Jigoku, which is a horror film about sinners being sent to the Buddhist Hell. If memory serves, everyone in the film ends up in this Hell.

I learned a few things about Buddist Hell from some independent study. Apparently there are specific punishments for specific sins. Each punishment is for a certain amount of time. In terms of Earth years, the punishment can be trillions of years undergoing nightmarish tortures. But eventually, each sinner has the possibility to escape from Hell and continue on the road to enlightenment.

I think it’s fair to say that any reasonable person will agree that there is no way anyone deserves everlasting punishment, with no possibility to escape, and that the idea of a God who tortures the damned forever is clearly unjust. I think this idea can either terrify someone, or disgust them to the point where they reject any religion that teaches everlasting punishment in Hell with no mercy for anyone.

But there will also be people, like myself, who have thought that if Christianity is the true religion, and the Catholic Church is the true Church, and we believe this to be the case, then we must accept everything the Church teaches, including the idea of everlasting torture for even a single mortal sin.

I have read the standard replies, which are the same among Protestants and Catholics, which try to convince people that God is just when he sends people to Hell so they can suffer unspeakable tortures forever. Frankly, none of the replies are convincing. No matter how one attempts to defend this belief, it presents the picture of an unjust and sadistic God.

What makes this idea even more objectionable is when we hear the statement that most Catholics are going to Hell. This is in line with the words of Jesus, that the way is straight and the gate is narrow. In my reading about St. Alphonse Liguori, among others, he is quoted as saying that he had some kind of vision that most of his young students ended up in Hell. I’ve also read very picturesque descriptions of Hell from saints. They go into great detail, as if they had some actual vision of Hell or perhaps even were allowed to visit Hell so they could experience it for themselves for a short time. Their statements, if they actually made them, makes me wonder if they were mentally deranged or simply had an overactive imagination.

My favorite defense of Hell is one I’ve heard from a priest during his homily. He was very cheerful and said no one goes to Hell unless they choose to of their own free will. I find this argument absurd, because no sane person is voluntarily and knowingly going to choose eternal torture in Hell.

If my question seems as if I am challenging the traditional Christian belief in everlasting punishment in Hell, then so be it.

I have seen videos of Pope Francis warning people about the reality of hellfire. In particular, he singles out mafioso and what he calls corrupt people. I’ve read that some of his critics like headlines such as “Pope Francis denies the existence of Hell” etc, which is part of their usual tactic to paint Pope Francis as a heretic. But it seems to me that Pope Francis, and also his predecessor the late Pope Benedict XVI, believe in the traditional Catholic idea of Hell.

Here is my specific question. Suppose you were going to defend the doctrine of everlasting torture in Hell as punishment for even one mortal sin. What argument would you use? Or is it something that every Catholic must simply believe as part of the overall belief that the Church always teaches infallibly true doctrine?

FATHER JOE:

I would not worry about the Buddhist purgatory called Naraka as it does not exist and there are no intermediary rebirths.

I view myself as a reasonable person and I see the rationale of an eternal hell within the proper appreciation of divine justice. The souls of the damned prefer hell over heaven as they do not desire friendship with God or to give him the glory that is his due. Why would you force damned souls to spend eternity with a God they do not honor and with others they hate? You would make a hell of heaven.

The everlasting fire or punishment of hell is likely the spark of the divine presence that preserves the damned in existence. The total withdrawal would bring annihilation to creatures. Our existence, both the elect and the damned, is sustained by the Creator. It has been conjectured that the fire or punishment of the senses in hell is God’s final gift to the damned— to distract them from what is far worse, the frustration of forever being incomplete and without the divine union for which they were fashioned.

The irony is that those who would reject the sovereignty of God to do as they please, even in regard to hell, is in itself damning. The only way to heaven is Jesus who is literally the bridge across the chasm caused by sin. He is the saving name, there is no other. Our orientation is set with death, either toward union and perfection in the Lord or toward estrangement and corruption.

Yes, mortal sin is by definition a death-dealing sin. Without sanctifying grace the soul forfeits eternal life in Christ. I suppose in a religious sense, the person becomes the “spiritual” walking dead. The condition can be remedied by repentance, contrition, confession and absolution. However, if physical death overtakes us the orientation becomes permanent. It should be said that even perpetual venial sins are dangerous as they can lead to mortal sin or what certain theologians refer to as a negative fundamental option.

God is not sadistic. It may be that you have been overly influenced by too many Calvinist-leaning evangelicals who insist that God hates sinners. He does not. But he respects human freedom and will not make us robots or force his love upon us when it is unwanted. We can only speculate what the damned do in hell. Some critics contend that there may be a vigorous intellectual life. But it is hard to say. The main characteristic of hell is not fire but loneliness. The one who rejects God is also alienated from his neighbor. Many get hell wrong. They suppose that those who like themselves too much and others too little are sent there. But in truth we are to love ourselves as God loves us. I suspect the damned hate themselves and there is the hell of it— every where they look is hell, they themselves are hell.

The priest who preached that the damned chose hell was correct. As a pastor of souls I have known saints and people of the lie. Both the demonic and evil men are active in the world and they cause all sorts of trouble and heartache. One way to discern such a presence is that the wicked drain away the energy of life from those around them. They are the people you most want to run away from. They are all murderers— they might not kill you in a homicidal act— but they steal your life away a little bit at a time. They will take advantage of you, abuse you, and manipulate you— all because (despite the show) they really do not care. As I have said so many times, the opposite of love is not hate, but apathy.

Are most Catholics going to heaven or hell? I do not know. It may be that most in the world will be lost, but I cannot speak to that either. What we should concentrate upon RIGHT NOW is cooperating with God’s grace so that we might go to heaven and in trying to bring our friends and even enemies with us along the way.

Private revelation is not mandated for belief, but the vision of hell is common among many saints. Indeed, Lucia of Fatima speaks of the frightening vision given her. Such things should spur our efforts to save souls, not to make excuses.

Your ultimate question makes no sense to me. Mortal sin is something that is serious or grievous in matter committed freely by one who knows it is wrong. The gravity is that the soul forfeits grace and a saving relationship with the Lord. This is the subjective element of culpability that is harder to quantify than the act itself. It is not juridical or like a speeding ticket. It is not just something one does but something one becomes. Not all the damned might look like devils. Some might be quite charming. But on some level, they all go through the motions. There is an overriding deception, toward others and maybe even toward themselves. But God sees all. He will not be deceived.

You make a lot about “one” mortal sin. But think about it this way. You may have made a lot of plans. Tomorrow might be an important and busy day. But if you died in your sleep tonight, all that would be changed. You had a lot going for you. It seems unfair that it should be spoiled by that one moment when you died. It seems wrong that the single act of dying should mess everything up. But it is what it is. At least with mortal sin there is still the chance of repentance and restoration to life. When it comes to physical death, the last hand has been dealt.

Peace.
Adric, on January 12, 2023 at 3:13 am said:

Dear Fr. Joe,

You asked me a good question, namely to specify which modern popes practiced what I called punishing the flesh. I think the classic term is mortification of the flesh.

One famous example is St. Pope John Paul II The Great. During the beatification process, there were reports from people close to him that he always had a simple self-flagellation device which he used on himself on a regular basis.

Concerning Opus Dei, Hollywood exaggerated the practice, but the reality is that Opus Dei has two well-known methods of what they call corporal mortification. One is the cilice, which is worn around the leg once a week for a short period of time. It causes some pain. The other is a whip made of knotted rope. Rules limit the use of these things, and permission is required to extend the time. Information about this is readily available from Opus Dei.
Anonymous, on January 9, 2023 at 3:41 am said:

What is the word to describe someone behaving holier than they actually are? It’s the false pride of holiness. Someone offered the Orthodox term “prelest”, but that didn’t seem quite the word. Would Catholicism use that same term?

FATHER JOE: Possible synonyms for “holier-than-thou” are sanctimonious and pietistic. The word “prelest” is similar as it also refers to spiritual deception. It can either be deliberate or the person himself may be deluded about his standing before the Lord. I have found that those most enamored to ritual or religious attire are often tempted by the trappings and are known “to put on airs” (to cite a cliché). Those who would project themselves as uniquely spiritual or righteous often do so to the minimalization of others. The smaller they can make others then they bigger they seem to be. This fault often comes along with jealousy for the spiritual favor God shows to others.
Mareta, on January 9, 2023 at 1:35 am said:

Are self-harming and attempting suicide sinful?

With whom should I talk about it?

FATHER JOE:

The Church regards suicide as a violation of the commandment, “Thou shall not kill.” All life is precious and all persons have dignity.

You can speak to your priest or minister. They can give local help. If the problem is imminent, then there is the 9-8-8 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, a US based suicide prevention network of over 200+ crisis centers that provides 24/7 service via a toll-free hotline with the number 9-8-8. “It is available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. The caller is routed to their nearest crisis center to receive immediate counseling and local mental health referrals. The Lifeline supports people who call for themselves or someone they care about.”
Adric, on January 5, 2023 at 12:20 am said:

Dr. Fr. Joe,

I wonder if you have seen the Pasolini film The Gospel According to St. Matthew and if so, what is your opinion?

Recenty I saw The Gospel According to St. Matthew for about the fifth time. This includes one time I watched the English dubbed and colorized version. It’s beautifully done, but I prefer the Italian version which is black and white with subtitles. I find the Italian version more powerful, because the English dubbing is a bit too subdued, in my opinion.

The first time I saw this film, it was by accident. I was channel surfing and I caught it on cable TV soon after it began. I could not look away, it was so compelling. I have never seen a film like this one. I was crying much of the way through it. I don’t mean a few tears, I mean the tears were streaming down my face. I have seen other films about Jesus, but for me none of them came anywhere close to Pasolini’s. This was not just another film, this was the actual Gospel in a film version.

This film was made in 1963 and was dedicated to Pope John XXIII. I read that the offical Vatican newspaper review said it was the best Catholic film ever. Although Pasolini was a bit controversial in his lifetime, I believe he was God’s instrument.

I saw an interview with Pasolini. He was flying to Israel for filming. He said his film will give the viewers nothing, but it will give them everything. I’m not sure, but I think he meant it is the pure Gospel, and he really does not need to add anything.

I lived in the Holy Land for a time as a young man. Before that I had only seen the Holy Land on TV and in films. Many of the people in Pasolini’s film remind me of Jewish and other Palestinian people I saw there. Maybe others are ordinary Italians. Pasolini was a genius, including the casting.

Other than this film, are there any films about Jesus or on other Catholic themes you would recommend?

FATHER JOE: As far as I can recall, I have never seen it.
Adric, on January 4, 2023 at 11:34 pm said:

Dear Fr. Joe,

I will try to keep this quesiton as non-graphic as possible. I’ve been dealing with temptations towards impurity for many years. Nothing unusual about that.

But recently I was attempting to use the method of self-punishment, as used by Opus Dei, various modern Popes, etc. Nothing very extreme, but I was trying to control my physical urges by punishing my flesh in various places.

At first, it seemed to be working. But I realized what was happening in the back of my mind was I was being drawn into the snare of BDSM activity, which is stimulating, as opposed to whatever the true self-punishment is.

I was telling myself at first that I was not guilty of the sin of impurity because my intention was to prevent the sin of impurity with myself. So after debating this with myself, I received Holy Communion.

My logic, if that is what is was, is that if I am not really sure I’ve committed a grave sin, I should not confess it. Isn’t that rather stupid of me? I lose nothing by confessing if it’s a venial sin, but I commit sacrilege if I receive Holy Communion when I am not in a state of grace.

Now I’ve changed my view, and I’ve abandoned my futile attempts at self-punishment to prevent impurity. Maybe it works for others, but not for me.

Instead, I’ve read something by St. Alphonse Liguori and followed his simple suggestion to fight temptation by repeating Jesus, Mary. That actually worked last night. I realized that what I was lacking was praying in my moments of temptation. It’s really hard for me to keep praying every day. I need to do better.

Although I was telling myself when I did this self-punishment that it was for a good reason, I now regard that as very foolish. So I have learned something about my own weaknesses.

I plan on going to confession and, without going into detail, just mention my self-punishments, which did eventually become self-stimulation, as sins of impurity with myself, and leave it at that.

I don’t presume to judge saints and popes who find self-punishment helps them, but for people like me with some attraction to BDSM, it’s poison. Thank God I read the advice from St. Alphonse Liguori. It really does work. Jesus, Mary, save me from these temptations of the flesh.

As always I appreciate your insights.

FATHER JOE:

I am not sure what you mean by punishing the flesh. What modern popes resorted to such? As for Opus Dei, not being affiliated with them I cannot substantiate what is admonished by authorities and what excesses might be practiced by deranged splinter groups. All the various sexuality and power elements associated with Sadism and Masochism are morally disordered and grievously sinful. As a pastor of souls I would urge you to stay away from anything that would harm the body. No one can avoid pain but it is problematical to go looking for it.

Seek the counsel of your local priest for spiritual guidance. Distrust what you read on the internet. Many sites cannot be trusted. Say your prayers and perform acts of charity. Treat you person and life with respect. Peace!