Ask a Priest

5,442 Responses

Blanca, on August 13, 2013 at 8:41 pm said:

I am Catholic and my sister converted to a non-denominational Christian church. I have a lot of back and neck pain and have been doing yoga to exercise and strengthen these areas, but my sister believes this is a sin (to do yoga). What is the Catholic church teaching on this? I tell her that I do not believe in the spiritual aspects of yoga, but merely like the type of exercise as it agrees with my body and helps also to alleviate my anxiety, but she says that my intention doesn’t matter and I am engaging in idolatry.

FATHER JOE: I am not well versed on secular versions of Yoga, if they exist. Some have tried to separate the external physical exercises of Yoga from the mental or spiritual elements. These latter components of inner Yoga are closely associated with Hindu pantheism. As false religion, this is incompatible with Catholicism.
Nizar, on August 13, 2013 at 8:19 pm said:

Dear Joe,

Please forgive my poor English,

I am a Muslim who was raised and lives in the Middle East. I have many Christian friends and I consider them just like my brothers. I have many questions about Christianity. I haven’t asked my Christian friends because I don’t want to bother them. It may be that they don’t have answers. First question, does Jesus say literally I am the Son of God in the Bible? If yes, why didn’t God create him like Adam without a mother? Second question, if I want to ask God for help, which one should be asked, the Spirit, the Son or the Father? Third question, If Jesus is a Son of God then he has common characteristics with God, but did Jesus sleep and eat like us?

Thanks!

FATHER JOE:

I will try my best to answer your questions, but I must also respond to a number of errant presuppositions. I am glad that you see Christians as your brothers.

1. Does Jesus say literally I am the Son of God in the Bible?

The truth that Jesus is the Son of God is indeed taught by Scripture, and the Bible itself is regarded as divinely inspired. Thus what Jesus says about himself and what others say in affirmation of him has equal weight. God is the author of life and yet Jesus also claims to give life. This reflects his divine nature and power. Jesus can also forgive sins and his critics argue that only God can forgive sins. Either Jesus is God or he is a blasphemer. The reason he is condemned by Caiaphas is because he “made himself God’s son,” and they believed that the Lord God was one. They did not understand the profound unity of the Trinity:

Mark 2:5-7 – “When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, ‘Child, your sins are forgiven.’ Now some of the scribes were sitting there asking themselves, ‘Why does this man speak that way? He is blaspheming. Who but God alone can forgive sins?’”

John 5:18-30 – “But Jesus answered them, ‘My Father is at work until now, so I am at work.’ For this reason the Jews tried all the more to kill him, because he not only broke the sabbath but he also called God his own father, making himself equal to God. Jesus answered and said to them, ‘Amen, amen, I say to you, a son cannot do anything on his own, but only what he sees his father doing; for what he does, his son will do also. For the Father loves his Son and shows him everything that he himself does, and he will show him greater works than these, so that you may be amazed. For just as the Father raises the dead and gives life, so also does the Son give life to whomever he wishes. Nor does the Father judge anyone, but he has given all judgment to his Son, so that all may honor the Son just as they honor the Father. Whoever does not honor the Son does not honor the Father who sent him. Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes in the one who sent me has eternal life and will not come to condemnation, but has passed from death to life. Amen, amen, I say to you, the hour is coming and is now here when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God, and those who hear will live. For just as the Father has life in himself, so also he gave to his Son the possession of life in himself. And he gave him power to exercise judgment, because he is the Son of Man [a Messianic title]. Do not be amazed at this, because the hour is coming in which all who are in the tombs will hear his voices and will come out, those who have done good deeds to the resurrection of life, but those who have done wicked deeds to the resurrection of condemnation. I cannot do anything on my own; I judge as I hear, and my judgment is just, because I do not seek my own will but the will of the one who sent me.’”

Jesus is the pre-existent Logos or Word and applies to himself the divine name, I AM (see Exodus 3:6 and 14):

John 8:56-58 – “‘Abraham your father rejoiced to see my day; he saw it and was glad.’ So the Jews said to him, ‘You are not yet fifty years old and you have seen Abraham?’ Jesus said to them, ‘Amen, amen, I say to you, before Abraham came to be, I AM.’ So they picked up stones to throw at him; but Jesus hid and went out of the temple area.”

His listeners wanted to kill him for declaring himself God’s Son. We see this elsewhere as well:

John 10:30-39 – “‘The Father and I are one.’ The Jews again picked up rocks to stone him. Jesus answered them, ‘I have shown you many good works from my Father. For which of these are you trying to stone me?’ The Jews answered him, ‘We are not stoning you for a good work but for blasphemy. You, a man, are making yourself God.’ Jesus answered them, ‘Is it not written in your law, I said, You are gods? If it calls them gods to whom the word of God came, and scripture cannot be set aside, can you say that the one whom the Father has consecrated and sent into the world blasphemes because I said, I am the Son of God? If I do not perform my Father’s works, do not believe me; but if I perform them, even if you do not believe me, believe the works, so that you may realize [and understand] that the Father is in me and I am in the Father.’ [Then] they tried again to arrest him; but he escaped from their power.”

Sometime later Jesus clearly stated that He was God and the Jewish leaders once again understood.

The phrase “Son of God” did not mean that Jesus was a created child of God; rather, it immediately meant that he was God, himself. Such is the profound unity in the godhead. The Jews understood this and, not believing, they wanted to kill him for it.

Remember also the Apostle Thomas’ response to the risen Christ, “My Lord and my God!” (John 20:28).

We also read in 1 John 5:20, “We also know that the Son of God has come and has given us discernment to know the one who is true. And we are in the one who is true, in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life.”

2. If yes, why didn’t God create him like Adam without a mother?

Jesus is the eternal Word or Second Person of the Trinity. As God he is not created at all but always existed. The Father knows himself and generates the Son from all eternity. The Son comes to exist in human history through a woman. Mary conceives the Christ by the power of the Third Person of the Trinity, the Holy Spirit (the perfect and divine Love of God). Why did God come through the Blessed Virgin Mary? The Incarnation joins the Creator with his creation. We owed a debt we could not pay because of sin. Sin brought death and suffering into the world, making us the devil’s property. The redemptive work of Christ buys us back from the devil and appeases the honor of God. Jesus has God had infinite authority and power to make satisfaction for sin; as a man, he could do so as one of us, on our behalf. This is why God takes to himself a human mother, one of his creatures.

3. If I want to ask God for help, which one should be asked, the Spirit, the Son or the Father?

There is only ONE God. The formula of the Church is simple: God is three divine persons in one divine nature. In knowing himself he generates the Son. In loving himself he generates the Holy Spirit. To address any person of the Trinity is to appeal to the one God. Catholics at Mass often appeal to the Father through the Son and in the Holy Spirit. Christ makes possible our approach to the Father. He is the Way and the Truth and the Life. The Holy Spirit gives us the gift of faith and makes the sacraments efficacious.

4. If Jesus is a Son of God then he has common characteristics with God, but did Jesus sleep and eat like us?

He did more than that, he suffered and died like us. The whole purpose of the incarnation is unity with us and the atonement of sin. God takes to himself a complete human nature, body and soul. However, Jesus is a divine person, not a human person. As for eating, his Last Supper with his friends is where he instituted the priesthood and the Eucharist. We celebrate the renewal of the new covenant in his blood every time we participate at Mass.
Allan, on August 13, 2013 at 2:11 pm said:

I was just wondering if getting tatoos is a sin, I mean obviously the tatoos I would get (If it isn’t sinful) would be nothing evil or anything like that, I still probably won’t get tatoos anyways.

FATHER JOE:

My personal view is that tattoos mutilate the body; however, it appears that the Church’s Magisterium has no absolute prohibition against them. In any case, you should be cognizant of the following:

Nothing should be done that harms the health or integrity of the body.

While Leviticus 19:28 may be an antedated “subjective” ritualistic law, please note that certain Jews, Protestants and Catholics would cite it in opposition to tattoos.

Tattoos should not celebrate the vulgar or violent or satanic.

Laser and acid treatments to remove them are painful, expensive and leave scars. Tattoos should be regarded as permanent. Are you willing to mark your body with an image or message which one day may embarrass or trouble you? Note also that the body changes and skin stretches. Do you really want to live with a message or image on your skin? Will it affect friendships? Even if you want to express a religious message, do you really want to make your body into a billboard?

What do tattoos say about the dignity of bodily persons?

If the Lord is alive in our heart, mind and soul… then why do we need anything written upon the skin?

But the decision is yours.
Stan, on August 13, 2013 at 5:24 am said:

I was wondering if the story of Mithras is related Catholicism or Christianity in any way?

FATHER JOE: No, other than it was criticized by the early Church fathers as a false or even demonic pagan religion, there is no relationship. Most of what we know about it comes down to us in their condemnations or in references from platonic philosophers. It was a pagan mystery religion which mimicked and evidently borrowed from Christianity. However, while its central character was mythic, Christ and his resurrection was real. Indeed, during the time that St. Paul wrote, hundreds of witnesses to our Lord’s resurrection were still alive.
Nick, on August 13, 2013 at 5:10 am said:

I was wondering which version of the Bible you would suggest for me. I’m a 17 year old male looking to buy a copy for the first time. I wouldn’t want anything that is extremely difficult to read, but it doesn’t have to be extremely simple, either. So, what would your recommendation be?

FATHER JOE: While I like the Revised Standard Version (Catholic Edition), not the New Revised Standard Version, I would recommend the same translation we use at Mass, the New American Bible. Make sure that it is a Catholic Bible as there is a Protestant text that gets confused with it because of a similar name. This translation is available online through the USCCB.
Grace, on August 13, 2013 at 4:18 am said:

My 2 cents’ worth about Clare’s predicament:
In your sharing, Clare, you said you were a new Cath, and that ‘we go to Mass’. Im assuming the ‘we’ includes your hubby. So, despite the emotional abuse from him, you still embraced his faith? Am I right?
So, maybe there are things about him, maybe only one, that still makes you love him despite it all?
I know that addictions stem from some emptiness, failed dreams. It could be selfish dreams and hubby could be selfish in wanting those dreams and now that it’s not a possibility, he goes to the bottle despite knowing Christ all these years.
So, perhaps Clare, God wants to know if you could help lead your husband back to Jesus? Pain and suffering should not be wasted. Im thinking that to walk away from 22 years together is a waste. Maybe it’s a Cross sent your way to bring an erring soul back to Him? No one else could be strong enough by being Weak enough for Jesus to do this herculean job but maybe you’re the Perfect one for the task.
Could you try?
Grace, on August 13, 2013 at 4:07 am said:

Dear Fr,
Thank you for the speedy and very clear answer. I was afraid that my discomfort with the practice of praying / speaking in tongues was tantamount to blasphemy. On that note, can I get a clarification from you, Fr, regarding “sins against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven”? Also, I recall reading somewhere in the Acts of the Apostles that not all wrongdoing can be prayed for. Is there a connection between sins against the HS and this, Fr?

May God bless you, Fr, for the comfort and enlightenment you bring to us all.

FATHER JOE:

It is not Acts but 1 John 5:16-18: “If anyone sees his brother sinning, if the sin is not deadly, he should pray to God and he will give him life. This is only for those whose sin is not deadly. There is such a thing as deadly sin, about which I do not say that you should pray. All wrongdoing is sin, but there is sin that is not deadly. We know that no one begotten by God sins; but the one begotten by God he protects, and the evil one cannot touch him.”

Exegetes tell us that this does not mean that we cannot pray for others, only that those in serious sin have cut themselves off from transformative and saving grace. The sin referenced is probably apostasy and/or blasphemy. The “unforgivable sin” has sometimes been referred to by preachers as suicide, given that no repentance is then possible. As long as there is life in our bodies, there remains the opportunity for turning back to the Lord with contrite hearts and supernatural faith. The trouble with sins against the Holy Spirit is that the sinner finds himself in a direct adversarial relationship with almighty God. As an example, critics who condemned Jesus’s saving work as demonic in origin were guilty of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. How can one repent as long as he repudiates the very source for forgiveness and holiness? These sins are different from others that hurt our neighbor or ourselves but do not focus on God and the Church directly (although they can be mortal). Violation of any commandment can be mortal or venial, but when it comes to those referencing God (keeping the Lord’s day, honoring the Lord’s name, worshipping no false gods) the stakes are much higher.
Susan Miller, on August 12, 2013 at 7:43 pm said:

Re: Clare. How could it possibly be her fault to be belitteled – and to encourage the children to do the same? Even if she did horrible things to her husband, how could it be warrented? She is scared to leave him; on top of that – even though she mentions nothing about being remarried – she is now being told she probably wouldn’t get much sympathy from the Church.

Tried counseling? I seriously doubt he’d agree. She is a battered wife (and yes, verbally counts and often leads to physical abuse.) And he drinks. She and her children are in danger, and should get out. I am deeply disturbed by your reply, and I, too will pray for her.

FATHER JOE:

I have learned from experience that one must not be quick to take sides in marital squabbles. It is impossible to give certain advice when all the facts are not in our possession. Again, the Church would require no one to submit to abuse but at the same time marriage is a permanent bond. If it can be salvaged, then they should try to do so. You should neither wrong me nor the Church by your defensiveness. Separation can bring about its own hell. I have known people who were accused of abandonment, stripped of their children and left without resources to live on. I stand by what I said. Who is the blame? In this case it may only be the husband; however, I have also encountered situations where the abuse and dysfunction was mutual.

What do we actually know?

• She says there has been emotional abuse/name-calling in front of the children.
• He criticizes her cooking.
• He drinks.

That is not much to go on. We do not even know her real or full name. Only a tentative answer can be given. Her charges are worrisome, but is there any intimation of physical violence?

It is not for you or me to presume that the husband would refuse counseling. That option needs to be explored. If he says no, then that closes an important door and the spouse will have to explore other avenues. Verbal abuse can be as terrible as physical, although it is far harder to prove. You would be quick to tell her to leave; but she has to live with what she does. Spoon-feeding an answer to her is easy for us; but she would have to suffer the consequences from either staying or leaving. We cannot make that decision for her. That is why we must move with caution. You would throw such caution to the wind and maybe destroy the lives of a family with 2 children and a marriage of 22 years. It may be that situation cannot be fixed. But evidently you would not try.

The victimizer is also a wounded person, even if he or she has self-inflicted the harm. These situations are difficult and tragic. Sometimes, even with the contrition of one spouse, it may prove difficult or impossible for the other one to forgive. How does one forget being hurt or tormented by a person who was loved? Our first and most immediate concern is for the ones being targeted, the wife and children. But we cannot wash our hands of the abuser, even if we should want to lock him up and throw away the key. Physical wounds might heal, but broken hearts and painful memories can linger for a lifetime.

As someone who has counseled and found shelter for battered women, even suffering threats from their husbands or boyfriends to disclose where they were being housed, I feel a certain personal pain at your attack. I try to help others. It never seems to be enough. It may be that you are reading too much of your personal history into the question; I cannot say. If her life and that of her children be truly threatened, then she would have to seek out appropriate help and do so immediately. But is that the case here? I do not know. And neither can you know.

You and I are but distant voices on the Internet. Only she can truly judge her situation. I would again direct her cry for help to her pastor or to a professional counselor or to a local abuse hotline. Help is available, but she has to make the first move. It will take courage because none of us can guarantee what will ultimately happen. It is here where we must all turn to prayer.

I am not infallible. And if you have what you feel is helpful guidance to share with her, I am perfectly willing to allow you to have your say, even if you disagree with me. But such disagreement does not have to be accompanied by rebuke of me and ridicule of the Church.
Clare, on August 11, 2013 at 6:33 pm said:

I am newly Catholic and have been with my husband for 22 years. We have two children aged 12 & 5. I think I have been emotional abused by him but do not know what to do. He calls me names in front of the children. He gets them to call me names. He criticises everything I cook, how I clean, everything. He drinks to excess every other day. He calls me stupid and not right in the head. We go to Mass every Sunday as a family but I cannot help feeling like a fraud. I truly have been thinking it would be best to leave him but I am afraid. Would it be a sin to leave a man such as this? Please help me.

FATHER JOE: It is hard to give advice when I only know your side of the story and there are facts to which I am not privy. How do you treat him? Have you as a couple sought counseling? Certainly no one should have to endure abuse, but you have a couple of decades and children invested in this relationship. I would recommend trying to find healing and saving it if possible. If you are the guilty party, then there is culpability for divorce and visa versa. The reason for this is that a spouse ordinarily has a natural right to a common life and intimacy with the spouse. Unwarranted depravation would be judged a sin. An annulment and remarriage is probably dubious. Emotional abuse is far harder to prove to courts than physical wrongdoing. You should not sit back on this. Contact your pastor and/or a local professional who helps women like yourself. Their proximity would make an evaluation easier and more accurate. I will keep you in prayer.
Grace, on August 9, 2013 at 7:53 am said:

Fr, can you please explain the Gift of Tongues to me? Ive heard people speak and pray in it and for some absurd reason, I feel alienated by it. How is praying in gibberish supposed to be of a higher order of prayer?

FATHER JOE: The so-called praying and even singing in tongues is a phenomenon shared between Catholic Charismatics and Pentecostals. However, Catholics view it as a lesser gift and not essential for faith or salvation. Some argue that Glossolalia constitutes real languages (Xenoglossy), albeit forgotten, and is connected to the tongues spoken on the first Pentecost. Others suspect that it is an emotional-spiritual response to grace where the believer returns to nonsensical baby-talk, becoming like little children before the Lord. Others regard it as heavenly talk. There are also those who claim to be interpreters of such tongues, enlightened by the Holy Spirit. Faith healing is an element of this movement. I would not regard it as a higher form of prayer despite the claims of Protestant Pentecostals. I am also personally wary of gibberish language and urge that we look closely at fruits. We must practice the discernment of spirits. Demonic spirits can masquerade as angels of light. The Catholic emphasis is upon the sacraments, not ecstatic experiences. I have friends, yes even priests in the Charismatic renewal, but God has never moved me to pray in such ways. Without the odd externals, all Catholics are “charismatic” as temples of the Holy Spirit.
john, on August 9, 2013 at 2:35 am said:

how many miracles must we witness (or be informed of) till we believe,
and give homage to the king of all, Jesus Christ. When is enough, enough
Millie, on August 8, 2013 at 12:36 am said:

Hi Father Joe:

I am having anxiey and I am so scared to die that I really am not living and enjoying all of God’s beautiful blessings. I have good health, a nice job, a house, a daughter (my husband died when she was 4, she is now 26) is this a sin to be so afraid of death? I remember my mom telling me when I was little that God was going to come get me if I didn’t learn to be pottied trained and so I have such a fear of God.

Thanks, Millie

FATHER JOE: I well understand the fear and it is quite natural. Such emotional concern is not sinful. However, the faith can help ease our anxiety. We cannot escape the basic truth that we are all going to die. Our Lord would have us brush aside the fear with faith and hope. We are not forgotten or abandoned by God. He loves us. Jesus surrendered his life on the Cross so that we might know the forgiveness of sin. Death is conquered. He promises to give us a share in his resurrection. In God we find both the Divine Justice and the Divine Mercy. Peace!
John, on August 7, 2013 at 10:15 pm said:

Hi Father Joe!

This site has helped me a lot. I have a question… Is a Priest allowed to wear a Zuchetto or Biretta during Mass? And if so, when?

Another question: What can a Canon wear during Mass?

FATHER JOE: The reformed rite omits a hat or cap for the priest. He traditionally wore a biretta, which was alternately put on and taken off. An ordinary priest is permitted to wear a black zucchetto with the cassock. However, it is rarely if ever seen. The practice has fallen out of favor. When worn by a bishop, note that it is removed at the altar.
James, on August 5, 2013 at 1:55 am said:

I may have said that I wouldn’t ask any more questions back in July. If so I’m sorry to break that promise, but I really wanted the opinion of a priest on this. And I don’t feel comfortable asking my confessor.

So first some background information, a month ago my confessor and I talked about the frequency of my confessions. I asked if he cared if I went weekly. There were two reasons for this. First, I struggle with discerning mortal from venial sins. My belief is that this scrupulosity comes from a lack of knowledge. Because of it I had been abstaining from the Eucharist frequently. I wanted to rectify that and I thought frequent confession would help. My second reason was that I liked the idea of using confession as a way to prepare for Sunday Mass. We commit venial sins every week and even though they are forgiven through receiving the Eucharist, I saw a benefit in confessing them. My only concern was that I didn’t want the venial sins to prevent my reception of the Eucharist— hence my first reason. And so we agreed on weekly confession.

Well, yesterday he told me he wanted me to go to every three weeks. My biggest problem is that I haven’t learned anything in the past month. Maybe he was bothered by the fact that my last confession was pretty long, but the length wasn’t due to scruples. I had been told that we must confess sins we forgot to confess, even though they have been forgiven. Well during my examination of conscience I remembered many mortal sins. I’m 100% sure that they were, unless Protestants can’t commit a mortal sin. Furthermore these were things that I have never confessed before. So I don’t believe that the length was a problem. I was only following what I had been taught, although, there were a few things that I confess that were due to scruples.

So now back to me being told to confess every three weeks, my problem is that I’m sure I committed a mortal sin. It involves me pretending to agree with something that based on my knowledge, is contrary to the Catholic faith. Maybe there are some circumstances that make it venial. For example I wasn’t completely sure that it did contradict the Catholic faith, but I did remember reading something that said it did. Anyway, I’m positive that some aspects are contrary to the faith. Plus there are a couple of other things I’m unsure of. Obviously I should ask my confessor about these things, but I feel uncomfortable doing so without the seal of confession. As a result, I’ll end up waiting three weeks to receive the Eucharist; which isn’t good. So what should I do? Next week I’ll be at a different parish because I prefer going to Mass there (it’s more reverent). I don’t feel comfortable going to confession there because it feels disobedient and like I’m going behind my confessor’s back. Also, I know that obedience to one’s confessor is important and that puts me in an uncomfortable spot. Going to confession with that priest will be uncomfortable because I’ll be there before he’s in the confessional. As a result, he’ll see me before I enter. So what’s your advice?

FATHER JOE: Given this comment and others, it is my opinion that you do indeed suffer from an unhealthy scrupulosity. What you cited as mortal sin is not so given your state of mind. My advice is simple. Do as your confessor tells you. Say the Confiteor with a contrite heart at Mass and receive Holy Communion. The devil loves such mental games about past sins and unworthiness. He would have you despair. As for when you do go to Confession: tell the sin, about how many times committed and then stop talking. If it takes a lot of words to explain how you are sinful or bad then it probably is not so. Stop second-guessing God’s grace. Stop being afraid— it does not matter if the priest sees you. That is another element of this spiritual sickness. Your failure to take your confessor’s advice is distrust in him as a priest and in the power of the sacrament.
Sam B, on August 4, 2013 at 6:10 pm said:

All these hundred of replies of advice or criticism. How would they sound or seem from a person who loves others as much as loving themselves? I mean if that’s the advice or criticism you’d have to hear from someone else, how would you want to hear it? If I was really hard on you about your sin, would you get upset and lose faith in me? What would prevent that?

FATHER JOE: Do you mean to impugn my motivation? I am not sure what you are trying to say. I am hard on myself, regarding various matters. When I appeal to others for advice or answers, it is my hope that they would share the truth. That is what I try to do. Most who post here do so with a certain level of anonymity.
agnes, on August 1, 2013 at 3:21 pm said:

Good evening, I have a question on how to behave as a Christian woman. I’m on holiday with my younger sister. She is 23 and I am 30. We were at the bar in the evening, relaxing, and not in the mood to pay attention or to be careful. Two boys aged 20 talked to us. Then suddenly they wanted to take us to their room. I said no. My sister wanted to go because she believed it was only about talking like the boy said. I strongly said no again and forbid my sister to go. She did not understand. The boy was upset and angry. “What are you thinking about me? No sex, just talking.” We can talk here I said. He persisted more than twenty times. I was drunk but did not care. The boys knew we were orthodox. But the boy was angry with me. He seemed not to want me thinking wrong about him. But after talking a little bit he admitted he wanted to have sex with my sister. He knew nothing about us and only small talk. I feel angry about him feeling no shame. We stopped talking to them a few minutes later and went to bed. Next day they greeted me and smiled without any shame in their faces— as if it was us not them behaving wrongly. The boy is here with his parents and is a Swiss Champion in ice hockey. His friend is even Catholic. Should I talk to him or his parents about it? What did we do wrong?

FATHER JOE: Bars these days are regarded as pick-up places. It is wrong but this is what is communicated when guys meet girls at such places under the influence of alcohol. Bars are especially dangerous places and can present all sorts of temptations. Singles might be tempted to one-night-stands and married people alone might flirt with adultery. I find that bars are safer places for groups where trusted friends go to socialize. Your sister should not be naïve about what boys want. Be careful. I do not know where you live, but in many places you have to be 21 to drink at bars.
Elisebeth, on August 1, 2013 at 2:01 pm said:

I know that clergy and religious make vows of celibacy in order to devote their entire lives to our Lord, and I understand that reasoning. I also understand that they make that vow as a sacrifice. I wondered though, if someone is asexual, would that vow (as a sacrifice) have the same resonance? I mean, I guess, would someone who has no sexual desire for either gender be considered worthy to enter religious life? I am struggling with this myself. As a woman, I am not physically attracted to men or women. I am considering a call to be a religious, and I worry about how my spiritual director may view this matter.

How does the Church view asexuality? Do they acknowledge it at all? View it as morally wrong?

FATHER JOE: If there is no attraction at all then there might be an issue with the orientation. However, drive can be affected by many things, like hormonal levels and/or emotional trauma. (You would want to make sure there is no issue of chemistry that could damage your health.) Sexual drive varies from person to person. St. Paul acknowledges this when he says that it is better for one to marry than to burn. I had several dear friends in seminary that left to get married, realizing that they were not cut out for the celibate life. While homosexual or lesbian tendencies could be problematical for candidates to religious life, this is evidently not an issue with you. Celibacy would still be a sacrifice, even with minimal drive, because you surrender the right to have an intimate helpmate and children. Vocations programs these days require psychological evaluation before admission. I will pray that things work out for you.
scott, on July 31, 2013 at 9:05 pm said:

When I became a Disciple, I became a saint; should people pray to me? How do you explain the changing of the Ten Commandments to exclude “no graven image” Thanks, Scott

FATHER JOE: The understanding of the word saint shifted from the biblical use (disciples of the Lord) to those who had run the race and now had their crown in heaven. Certainly we are all called to be saints, but I suspect the Church found it increasingly difficult to use the term for earthly pilgrims given how often the story of Judas was repeated in the lives of believers. Nevertheless, especially when someone lives their faith in a courageous way, we might still refer to him or her as a living saint. The appreciation of prayer is really in regards to what we call the communion of the saints. Believers in God’s good graces are indeed united to each other, both in the pilgrim Church and in the Church of glory. We ask the saints to pray with and for us. Similarly, we can ask each other to pray with and for us. In that sense, friends and other believers could turn to you to pray in solidarity with them. All prayer has God as its ultimate object. We appeal to the Lord, both from our personal and our corporate faith. We do not give divine worship to the saints. As for graven images, the worship of idols is still forbidden by the Church. The prohibition was never absolute, as with the angels depicted on the Ark of the Covenant and the seraphs on poles to heal those bitten by poisonous snakes. The greater liberality or reform is in regard to such representations in stone or art. Because of the incarnation of Christ there is a change in the economy of images. God now has a human face in Jesus Christ. Just like photographs of loved ones, we cherish the depictions but we love the ones who are represented. A soldier away from home might cling to the picture of his sweetheart; however, it is his girl and not the picture that is the source of his devotion and affection. As with the depiction of Christ on the Cross; we do not worship the object but give veneration to a depiction of the great sacrificial love of Jesus Christ. Jesus died that we might live. He paid the terrible price for our sins with his own flesh and blood.
Marie, on July 30, 2013 at 7:08 am said:

Dear Father Joe, I am the child of a lapsed Catholic single mother. I was raised very liberal and without much religious instruction at all. As I get older, I am 18 now, I find that there are parts of what I was taught, specifically that abortion is a viable way to rid yourself of a baby, that I don’t believe is morally right. So now I feel very alone and confused about where I belong and what people are good and bad. I need some sort of guidance, and because before my mom all of my people were Catholic I thought I would ask a priest. I’m sorry to bother you; I am sure that talking to a confused non-Catholic a teenager is not your job. I just really have no one else to whom I can turn. Thanks for your time.

FATHER JOE:

Dear Marie, first I would be thankful that your mother, liberal or not, gave birth to you. Second, the Church would agree with you that every child, every person, has a precious dignity and an inviolate right to life. Third, while there is real evil in the abortion industry; they feed upon fears and empty slogans so as to prey upon women who are afraid and confused. Organizations like Planned Parenthood always lobby against giving information on the development of the embryo and fetus; they do not want pregnant women to be shown images of their unborn children. The reason for this is simple; it is much harder to kill a baby once you have seen his or her face. The agents for the culture of death will play with terms, never speaking about the death of a child, but using language about “choice” and “equality” and “freedom.” They will focus on how a child will affect your studies, or career, or lifestyle choices, or finances, or relations with family, etc. They do not want the pregnant woman to ever come to the realization that she is a mother, even while the child is in the womb. They also give fathers the excuse to be irresponsible and to walk away. The Church tries to help pregnant women, mothers with little children, offers family counseling, and is even there for girls that make the wrong choice, as with Project Rachel, helping them to forgive themselves. The Church would have men step forward and take responsibility as fathers. I do not know if you are still in high school, college or working; but I would encourage you to contact a Catholic parish and take instructions in the faith. No one will force sacraments upon you. But it is a good way of learning and maybe dispelling something of the confusion. Continue to love your mother and pray for her. I would be careful about getting into arguments; at least until things get clearer for you. Please know that I will be praying for you.

http://lifeteen.com/

http://old.usccb.org/prolife/youth/for-teens-chastity.shtml

http://www.usccb.org/issues-and-action/human-life-and-dignity/abortion/
Tan Chu Chin, on July 30, 2013 at 5:13 am said:

Dear Father Joe

Please show me where can find the verse in the Bible: the meaning is ” a seed has all that it needs to grow into a tree. Once planted the farmer does not have to keep digging it up to see if is growing.”

Thank you. Father.

FATHER JOE: You may mean Matthew 13 or you may be confusing it with Luke 13:7-9 (the fig tree). Matthew 13:31-32 gives us the parable of the little mustard seed that grows into the largest of bushes.
Louis, on July 29, 2013 at 6:57 am said:

Father Joe, I am a teenager and I practice the sin of pleasing myself. I want to know, if pleasing yourself is a deadly sin. I also recently went to Mass and when I was going to receive the Host, I thought about it 2 times due to my sin. I’m already trying to stop. I wish I could go to a confess my sins to my local priest but he is a family friend of sorts and I don’t want him to think bad things about me. What should I do?

FATHER JOE:

The universal catechism states:

[CCC 2352] By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action” (138 CDF, Persona humana 9). “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of “the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieve” (138 CDF, Persona humana 9).

It constitutes grave matter, one of the conditions for mortal sin, but there are subjective elements (as with all sins) which must be considered. Years ago I worked at a facility for the mentally handicapped. Some cases were very severe and the people were judged uneducable. Lacking much in the way of rationality, they wore diapers and lived on the level of basic instincts. Many of them cried liked infants. Many of them had also entered into habitual self-abuse for pleasure. Not knowing what they were doing, there was no sin involved. Such an excuse would not apply to the average person who has reached the age of reason. However, the extent of one’s awareness of the wrong would still apply. Various factors can reduce the gravity from mortal to venial. Any discernment of a person’s moral liability includes these factors: (1) awareness and maturity; (2) the tenacity of habit; and (3) mental issues, trauma, fear, stress, etc. Remember, mortal sin requires grievous matter, awareness of the wrong, and free consent.

Teenagers pass through a level of maturation where they discover their sexual identity. Masturbation “seems” like it is always an element of this awakening. The drive can be very powerful and overwhelming. Try your best to be chaste, avoid additional stimulation (like pornography) and make a good act of contrition should you fall. God understands your struggle and that you love him and want to be in right relationship with him. Your confessor will probably tell you the same. God forgives you, learn to forgive yourself. While the struggle may become easier, your sexuality is an important part of your identity. This drive was given us by God to preserve the species. But we are not animals. One day you may meet a young woman who wants to share your life with you. Your sexuality is a way in which the two become one flesh in love. Do not hate this great gift. Rather look upon it as a door opening up to wonderful possibilities in the future, like being a husband and father. Remember, too, that your father and the local priest are men, and all men were once boys, if honest with themselves they will be sympathetic to your situation and understanding. God bless!
Maria, on July 27, 2013 at 2:33 am said:

Thank you very much for answering my question, Father.
Lisa Christian, on July 26, 2013 at 4:59 pm said:

I recently completed my graduate degrees in library science and English education and I am currently searching for a teaching or library position in a private secondary school (preferably Catholic). My question is: Would it be against Church teaching to interview for or accept a position in a non-Catholic religiously affiliated school (i.e., Episcopal, Lutheran, Jewish, etc.). To clarify, I would not be required to teach religious classes or attend chapel. My job placement counselor says that opening my job search to other religious schools will help my prospects, but I do not wish to go against Church teaching. Thank you in advance.

FATHER JOE: As long as you are true to your own faith, there should be no problem. We have Catholics in the public schools and that may be a far more dangerous place. Indeed, people of faith can witness to each other, not to compromise content or truth but to show conviction and courage.
Mary Jo, on July 26, 2013 at 1:30 pm said:

Fr. Joe, is it permissible for a married couple to continue to have sexual intercourse if the husband sometimes but not always has trouble completing the act due to erectile dysfunction? I’ve searched for an answer to this question and haven’t been able to find an answer based on official Church teaching. Would such a couple be sinning if there is a 99.9% chance that if the husband was fatigued he wouldn’t be able to complete the act? Also, even though this doesn’t happen all the time, should this couple abstain from marital relations? Thanks you your help.

FATHER JOE: I am confident that the Church and our Lord understand that human sexuality does not always function in a textbook “ideal” manner. It is inexact and messy. We are dealing with fallen human nature, powerful passions, and physical abilities and limitations. As happens in all human activity, things do not always go as planned and people even suffer accidents. You are husband and wife. You have every right to the marital act, even when it may prove somewhat a challenge. The good of fidelity and intimacy is linked to the giving of “yourselves” to each other. This includes sexual congress and clinging to one another while at rest. Continue to love each other the best you are able.
Maria, on July 26, 2013 at 3:08 am said:

How can one tell if a man is a freemason?

FATHER JOE: You can ask him. They are not very secretive these days… rings, pins, license plates, bumper stickers, etc.