Ask a Priest

5,442 Responses

Talei, on March 20, 2018 at 9:43 pm said:

Father Joe,

I really love your response to anonymous …. and this point

“God’s grace can transform sinners into saints. Where there is true repentance and amendment of life, many couples can salvage their marriages. Most couples that pray and go to Mass together every Sunday will stay together until the death of a spouse. It is holiness that brings happiness, not sin and rebellion.”

this is sooo deep and so true and thank you for your response to my question on the 4th commandment.
Talei, on March 20, 2018 at 9:35 pm said:

Hi Anonymous (post on March 17, 2018 at 4:22 pm); I agree with Samantha who posted on March 19, 2018 at 11:09 pm. You are truly blessed to have been chaste for 30 years; if you still are; please keep it up … you are like a diamond that is hard to find; and all you have to do; is pray for a good spouse; God will hear your prayer; ask our Blessed Mother for her intercession.

and if I may add on your point in which you made about contraceptives

“Church is against contraception because it wants to control the bodies, minds and lives of women and totally subjugate them/make them more submissive and more dependent on husbands and males then anything else.”

from my experience, this is quite the opposite; as a Catholic wife I practice the calendar method for natural family planning; and this method requires a lot of discipline and whether hubby likes it or not; when its not the safe period; its hands off for him. With the natural family planning method, as a married woman, I more in control of my body and it’s not that easy especially when my other half is a non-Catholic.
Paul, on March 20, 2018 at 8:27 pm said:

Hello Father. Important question here (although I suppose we all think ours are important questions). This afternoon I went to confession at a storefront church that is run by the provincial Franciscans who operate the church . I have gone to confession there quite a bit in the last few years and have found the priests there to be very much willing to give their time in the booth in a way that is charitable and helpful. That is why today was so strange. I waited in line behind a dozen or so people. There was a several minutes wassit for most penitents until the priests changed their shift so to speak. Suddenly you could feel the tempo of the penitents moving very fast. The priest who took over, one whom I have never seen before there, was with no exaggeration moving people in and out of the confessional booth in less than a minute. I was so confused when my turn came that I can say I really didn’t feel any confidence at all confessing to this priest who was not even wearing a habit or stole. He looked as if he had dead eyes. For a moment I almost wondered if it was somebody who had snuck into the booth as I’m sure stranger things have happened. However, I know this is not the case. Because the previous priest had come out and at clearly handed the reins over to this other priest who appeared not only to be operating like a machine but was also very confused. It was a very disheartening experience. I believe that I had bit to confess and I don’t mean that in a scrupulous way. I do believe that priests have a great responsibility and are under great strains when hearing confessions. No doubt about that in my mind. That said, it almost felt as if I was not in confession because in all honesty I was there for maybe 60 seconds and felt as if I was being pushed out of the booth. The people in front of me and the people behind behind me I suspect had the same feeling. So here’s my question; should I consider this a valid confession? This was so haphazard and confused that I’m quite shaken by it. I want to receive the sacraments in a worthy manner and I trust in the office of the priest to grant absolution, but I do not know what to think. Scrpulosity may drive others back into the booth, but this is not my case. I legitimately don’t know what to do. Your advice would be much appreciated. Thank you for your time Father. God Bless.

FATHER JOE: Priests are sometimes pressed for time and no matter how they are dressed have the power to absolve sins. The numbers of people waiting can also be a cause for quick confessions. (I have suffered scrupulous penitents that took so much time to confess venial sins that those waiting in line with mortal sins had to leave without the sacrament. Be careful that a self-preoccupation does not violate charity to others.) Minute confessions are not ideal but the priest will do what he has to do for God’s people. I was in such a situation years ago when it was just me and three hundred people waiting. Schedule a time for counseling outside of confession. Always make your confessions to the point, mentioning first mortal sins and then any habitual venial sins. Give minimal but sufficient details. Be prepared so as not to leave periods of silence and do not pause in saying the act of contrition. Say your penance immediately after absolution and confession. It might sometimes seem mechanical but it works all the same. The main point is absolution (given to properly disposed penitents, i.e. contrite and with a firm resolve of amendment). Peace!
Talei, on March 20, 2018 at 7:03 am said:

Hello Fr. Joe,

Thank you for always taking the time to answer my questions; they’ve been very helpful. I have another question on the 4th commandment. In my culture; it doesn’t matter whether your parent is right or wrong, we are not allowed to talk back to them in any way. And furthermore; disrespecting our parents is like kicking the head of a spear. So I’ve pretty much tried to obey my parents; though not always; but more yes than not. Now I’m in a situation where my mom, who raised us to be staunch Catholics; has allowed a woman to stay with us at home. This woman is a married woman and she walked out of her home; because her husband usually abuse her (verbally only). So the rest of my family members think that the woman should go back to her husband; they can always work it out and they can always ask our parish priest to give them counselling. We just don’t want to be involved in breaking up a marriage; a sacrament. So my older sister confronted my mom about the issue; but my mom didn’t take it well. She was angry at us. Fr. Joe; did we break the fourth commandment by confronting our mother? Would we be cursed by our actions?

FATHER JOE: I would not interpret this as any conflict with the fourth commandment. You are all adults and silence on moral matters can also be sinful when the situation calls for a response or correction.
Eduvina Garcia, on March 20, 2018 at 5:04 am said:

Hello Father,
I want to buy a Bible, but I want to but one that I could understand. What is the difference between Good News Translation, Contemporary English Version and New American Bible? I want to buy one that is easy to read and that I can read cover to cover, and not get discouraged and put it down because I can’t comprehend it.
I also am grateful to the Jehovah’s Witnesses that came to my door and let me know that easy to understand (Catholic) Bibles are available.

FATHER JOE: I would recommend the New American Bible for both accuracy and ease of reading. It is the translation used at Mass. A more literal bible, and my favorite, is the Revised Standard Version – Catholic Edition. The Good News translation is sometimes useful with children but it is a paraphrase bible and rarely used for either bible study or in schools.
Samantha, on March 19, 2018 at 11:09 pm said:

God bless you for being chaste for 30 years. The holy spirit was with you the whole time otherwise you wouldn’t have been able to achieve this. You must love God deeply. Your reward will be great in heaven. Open your heart. Trust Him. Maybe he has a soul mate in mind for you. If you are afraid of STD’s etc the man who truly loves you will agree to testing prior to marriage. Some are called to a single life. We all have our cross to bear. I am married and two of my children have died. Suffering is inescapable and has redemptive qualities. Mary lost her only son. Focus on the positives of being single. As a mother I cant watch a movie, go on holidays, sleep in etc because of my many responsibilities.
ANNONYMOUS, on March 17, 2018 at 4:22 pm said:

Can one be Catholic and not 100% agree with everything the Church has done, has taught, currently does?

I am opposed to abuse, covering of abuse and I am not happy with the way the Church has hidden and caused abuse and harm to others.

I also do not see Humanae Vitae anything from Christ, in fact reading the New Testament Jesus never says thou shall not contracept and Jesus never said he would punish couples who refuse to have large families. Jesus instituted the Sacraments in the New Testament and gave up his life for sinners so we could have a hope of eternal life if we believe Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior.

I also see Humanae Vitae to be more political then anything and more mind control then anything- any logical person knows pulling out and condoms do not cause nor lead to abortion and there are medical reasons why women are on the pill as well- we simply cannot get rid of modern medicine because the Catholic Church wants more Catholic babies born so there could be more priests and nuns and for Catholicism to stay a prominent church and religion in this world and because the Church wants more people in its pews and more money- a lot of priests take money from baptizing babies and marrying couples in the couple of hundred of dollars for each ceremony performed. I also believe the Church is against contraception because it wants to control the bodies, minds and lives of women and totally subjegate them/make them more submissive and more dependent on husbands and males then anything else. Because let’s face it a women who has 5-10 children at home is not going to be seeking a job outside of the home because she could not afford child care for that money children unless she is a millionaire and most of us aren’t, she’s not going to be questioning her role in life outside the home, she’s not going to be protesting any demeaning or marginalization or discrimination of the female sex in the workforce/church either.

I am not married and I have not children and I am in my 30s the biggest mistake and decision I never made was to stay Chaste- I have regrets for choosing to believe sex was designed for marriage only, because the majority of Catholics do not believe nor accept this- I have no hope of finding a Godly man- the only guys available to date have slept with multiple partners and the Church has done a poor job educating Junior High and High School students about the realities of delaying marriage or being promiscuous from a young age. The majority of males and females married in the Catholic Church and other Christian Churches are because people gave in and had premarital sex that’s why they are married today their fornication lead them to their happiness and marriage.l see women who I went to JH/High school who had multiple sexual partners from an early age, were very promiscuous being happily married and have been blessed with kids too and their husbands happy too who also were sexually promiscuous males themselves- yet I have received nothing, received no blessing of either a husband nor child from choosing to follow the New Testament, being chaste in my age is a disgrace to me, it also makes me feel worthless and punished for sins I haven’t even committed yet the sluts/male whores get everything.

Do I want to NOW marry someone or be someones 8-50th sexual partner who can give me a STD or has baggage or out of wedlock children or a widower with kids or a divorced guy with kids- ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! Just because a women waits for marriage doesn’t mean her partner waited and that is why I believe in modern contraception and that yes condoms do have a place even in a married relationship and No I will never have unprotected sex if I ever marry and no I will not have a child with a guy whose slept with multiple women before me because I don’t want to expose myself or any children to any STD/HIV/AIDS/ZIKA and no you cannot pray STDS/genetic/HIv away.

FATHER JOE:

We should seek to assent to all that God has revealed to his Church as true. We might struggle with certain ideas, but the assent is crucial. The question touches ecclesiology. If the Church’s immutable teachings in faith and morals are in any way questioned, then the whole catechism is called into doubt. Do we believe that the teaching authority of the Church is established by Christ and is protected by the Holy Spirit? How we answer that question will denote whether we are still Catholic or not.

There are many pragmatic decisions made by churchmen that are not infallible. Certainly the membership of the Church, even priests, bishops and popes is not impeccable. We are all sinners needing mercy and grace.
Like you, and in accordance with the mind of Christ and the universal Church, we stand opposed to abuse and to its concealment. The Church is often a lone voice arguing for the dignity of persons and the sanctity of life. The whole Church should not be condemned for the horrendous sins or crimes of a few. Most bishops and priests love God and are shepherds who daily sacrifice for their people.

Humanae Vitae reflects a consistent Christian teaching going back to the Lord and the early Church. Contraception and abortion are directly mentioned as sins in the first century. Indeed, the condemnation of sorcery in the Scriptures was often in reference to those who prescribed contraceptives (like Egyptian crocodile dung) or abortifacient potions. All Christian churches throughout the world were unanimous in condemning contraception until the Anglicans voted to allow it for married couples in 1930 at the Lambeth Conference. Other churches would later follow this pattern. Catholicism has maintained the perennial truth. A contraceptive mentality arguable led to the pro-abortion arguments put forward to the U.S. Supreme Court in 1972. Moral truth was compromised and now we live in an eroticized society where persons are reduced to commodities.

Remember that Christian revelation is in Catholicism based upon two fonts: Sacred Scripture and Sacred Tradition. The pill was fashioned in 1960, although it was originally developed for men, not women. The research changed because, as it was argued, men could not be trusted. This lack of trust was another seed for impending doom in the moral life of men and women. Certain forms of contraceptives are really abortifacients; but even if such is not the case, they transform the marital act into a wholly different type of act.

Condomistic intercourse is regarded by the Church as intrinsically immoral. Every marital act must be that type of act that is open to the generation of new human life. This is the case even if the married couple is elderly and/or infertile. More than just basic biological mechanics, the act is a renewal of the covenant of marriage in Christ. This requires that it be a fully human act that promotes the unity and fidelity of the spouses. It should be expressive of a sacrificial passion toward the beloved person and not as a selfish lust toward an objective human body. Our Lord would call us to conform with both divine positive law and to natural law. Anything else is from the evil one.

Women who take the pill for the regularization of cycles and/or to control excessive bleeding are not censured by the Church. There is no contraceptive intent. The Church’s teachings are not to insure more money, as most of the Church in the world is very poor. That charge is the calumny of those in the Western world who have become cynical even as they are more formed by a secular humanism than by a Christian humanism. It is often illustrative of those who have no faith or who have abandoned it. Every human person from the womb is called to an eternal destiny and friendship with God. True treasure does not rest with bank accounts, fancy homes, lots of stuff or worldly influence and power. Every person has an incommensurate value and is precious and irreplaceable. The Church would safeguard human life and the nature of Christian marriage. The Church does not insist upon married couples having as many children as possible; rather, they are invited to be responsible parents. Natural family planning allows couples to work with God and human nature in spacing births and raising families. This is far better than working against nature and thwarting the divine will.

The Church has often been the source for a true defense of women’s rights. Many of the great saints are women and the greatest human person who has ever lived was the Blessed Virgin Mary. Certainly the Church would defend a woman’s right to be a wife and mother. However, we would also urge justice in the workplace and the full articulation of her learning, gifts and abilities. A Christian feminism does not see men and women at war with each other. Rather, it sees men and women in a complementary partnership— working together in mutual respect— to create a more just and compassionate society. Do not buy the lies of those who hate the Church. I suspect that they have never even read the Church’s documents like Mulieris Dignitatem. Back in 1995, Pope John Paul II had this to say:

You can see then, dear sisters, that the Church has many reasons for hoping that the forthcoming United Nations Conference in Beijing will bring out the full truth about women. Necessary emphasis should be placed on the “genius of women”, not only by considering great and famous women of the past or present, but also those ordinary women who reveal the gift of their womanhood by placing themselves at the service of others in their everyday lives. For in giving themselves to others each day women fulfil their deepest vocation. Perhaps more than men, women acknowledge the person, because they see persons with their hearts. They see them independently of various ideological or political systems. They see others in their greatness and limitations; they try to go out to them and help them. In this way the basic plan of the Creator takes flesh in the history of humanity and there is constantly revealed, in the variety of vocations, that beauty-not merely physical, but above all spiritual-which God bestowed from the very beginning on all, and in a particular way on women.

It is no mistake to believe that genital sexual activity belongs solely to marriage. Fornication and adultery are still sins, just as they were in biblical times. The Church preaches and teaches the truth about chastity and fidelity; however, the Church today must compete with many other voices. The media in particular is bombarding our people and their children incessantly. A child might get an hour of catechesis a week and a homily might only extend 15 minutes. That same child is bombarded by media (television, radio, and internet), influenced by peers and taught in secular schools. Clergy and catechists weep and pray for lost souls. Forgive me for saying so, but instead of praying with us or helping us, you write words of condemnation. That makes YOU part of the problem, not the answer.

You would ridicule the Church’s ministers and moral teachings. Your life is what you made it, and any regrets must remain yours as well. The Church is required to proclaim the truth, even when it is out of season. The believer today must be a sign of contradiction— not a sign of capitulation. Half of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. Frequently adultery is at the root. Once sex is subtracted or disconnected from marriage in fornication, it is hard to put back into the box. It may be true that many Catholic couples misbehaved; but if they were married in the Church then they also passed through the confessional on the way to the altar. There are few perfect people. But God’s grace can transform sinners into saints. Where there is true repentance and amendment of life, many couples can salvage their marriages. Most couples that pray and go to Mass together every Sunday will stay together until the death of a spouse. It is holiness that brings happiness, not sin and rebellion.

You are angry at the happiness and blessings that came to others. The proper Christian response would be to praise God and how he works in the lives of his people, even the most sinful. I know nothing about you personally or the opportunities that you either explored or ignored in terms of courtship. Did you raise the bar too high? Were you too critical of others? Did you mingle in Church settings with people who shared your faith and values? Were you willing to forgive a man who stumbled? I cannot say… as I really do not know you. But I do know many others and can testify to the presence and saving power of God in their lives. Of course, none of us is promised perfect happiness in this world. All that is really required is faithfulness.

God bless you and I will keep you in prayer, too.
Mike B, on March 17, 2018 at 3:53 pm said:

Thank you for your detailed response to my question. It definitely gave me a lot to think about. I wrote the original message from a bad place last night where my depression spiraled out of control and I started to doubt my beliefs. Sometimes when I’m in that mindset I find myself asking “why save me”, but I know it’s not about just me I just need to get over the belief that I need to earn everything good in my life I think and just accept the gift that has been given to all of us. It is often hard for me though.
Mike B, on March 16, 2018 at 7:13 pm said:

Hi Father Joe,

I consider myself a Christian, but I am struggling with accepting Jesus’s forgiveness of my sins. It is hard to reconcile the fact that I accepted that He died for our sins with the overwhelming thought in my mind that I don’t deserve it and need to suffer. I know this sounds like I think I know better than God about what judgement I deserve, but that is not what I want to say – as hard as I try to accept that He knows what is best, the thought that I deserve to start suffering now and spend eternity in Hell is overpowering. In short, I feel I am not worthy of salvation even though I know it is right there waiting for me.

I know the whole point of the faith is that nobody is truly worthy, but in my case I feel like I shouldn’t be saved.

Do you have any suggestions on how to reconcile these two conflicting views or who to turn to for help? I am reluctant to talk to my pastor because I don’t want him to think I’m saying I know better than God, because I know I don’t, but the emotional side of my brain is winning out on the rational/logical side.

Thank you for any insight you can provide.

FATHER JOE:

While it might be argued that a failure to accept the mercy Christ is a symptom of self-deprecation, I have also encountered it as an expression of hubris or pride. The one feels that he is not worthy of forgiveness and the other that he stands above it or does not need it.

Common to both is a rejection of a profound gift. The one who would receive grace must first be disposed to graciousness. We welcome the presence and the saving action of our Lord into our lives.

You may consider yourself a Christian, but how would you define such if there be a hesitance to accept him as Savior? The Christian desires to be a saint and a saint is a sinner who knows the forgiveness of Christ. It is insufficient to have an academic appreciation that God in Jesus Christ has made atonement for sin. A person can memorize the Bible and know everything taught by the catechism; however, unless there is a movement of the will, then one is a pretty poor disciple. Even those baptized as infants, must inherit and make their own a saving faith in Christ. That is why the religious formation of youth is so very important. Our Lord wants both our heads and hearts.

Jesus pays the price that we owed because of sin. This will not utterly free us from suffering. While it might sound cynical, there is an expression, “To live is to suffer.” When Catholics pray the Hail Holy Queen prayer, we refer to this world as “a vale of tears.” The price is paid by Christ; however, you will have an opportunity to take up your cross and follow Jesus. Emotional and relational hurts will join physical struggle and pain. Catholics would agree with you that you indeed “need to suffer.” But such suffering is an element of the human condition and the effects of the fall. Catholicism would contend that nothing need be wasted. You can add your tears and pain to the passion of Jesus. Joined or grafted to Christ, you can offer yourself to God in Christ’s great self-offering as priest and victim to the heavenly Father.

While penance and mortification are noble efforts to be weaned of worldly delights so as to be prepared and receptive of heavenly joy; nothing of these efforts should threaten our trust in Christ’s infinite power and the need for the three things that last: faith, hope and love. Christian faith is neither a philosophy of life nor precepts of a legal system— it is a trust and obedience in Jesus Christ. Christian hope assures us that God keeps his promises and as long as we have repentant hearts and walk with the Lord, we have nothing to fear. These two virtues should last throughout our entire earthly pilgrimage. But note that is Christian love that takes us past the gates of heaven to the other side. Faith will be realized and we will see God face-to-face. Hope will be no more because we will fully possess the object of our hearts’ longing. Love or charity will be purified and made everlasting. We will live in that divine love forever. God loves and redeems you. He wants to save you. You do not deserve such an intervention. You could not merit or compel God’s hand. The truth be said, we all deserve hell; but Jesus in his mysterious love wanted us for heaven. Indeed, he joins us to the divine family and says that he has a room for each of us in his house. Every believer in this world should live as if he already has one foot in heaven, the kingdom of Christ.

The movement of the will is far deeper than mere emotions or feelings. Psychology is unpredictable and manipulated by many forces. Do not allow human chemistry to short-circuit the movement of the soul. The satisfaction for prayer might disappear— pray all the same. You might feel that you are no good and stand rightly condemned— trust the promises of Christ all the same. We might alternately love ourselves too much or too little— but find the real measure in that God has loved us first and we are to return this love in an overflowing charity to others. Depressed, abandoned and alone, sad, frustrated, hurt, angry— use it all but do not allow any of it to rob us our saving faith. The Christian does not run away from the darkness. Rather, we take hold of our torches— the LIGHT of Christ, and we bravely enter the night. We know that we will come out on Easter morning.
Kurt, on March 16, 2018 at 6:56 pm said:

Is anger a mortal sin even if you where angry with god.

FATHER JOE: What you write is too vague for a thorough response. The sin of anger is related to the other deadly sins and might be defined as fury. It is irrational and hateful. It wants to kill or destroy. It wants to hurt and take from another. Anger with God can be a sin; however, it can be transformed if we hand it over to God in prayer. There must be a surrender to the Lord. The sin of anger is not the same as the righteous indignation that is shown by Christ in his reaction to the money-changers in the temple. This type of anger is based upon truth. It wants to correct and not to harm.
Chris, on March 16, 2018 at 6:15 pm said:

Hello Father,
Last week I missed Mass. I had been sick most of the weekend (stomach bug) but began to feel well enough around lunchtime on Sunday so I found a parish in the next city over that offered a Sunday evening Mass. Somehow, I got distracted with something that afternoon and lost track of time. When I realized the time, and given that it wasn’t my local parish, I would have arrived sometime after the homily. (About 25 minutes late) so I opted not to go. Other than being sick once, I haven’t missed Mass in many years. I had no intent to miss and was very upset about it. I had been to Confession 5 or 6 days prior to this happening which I know doesn’t play a role here but felt that you should know. Do I need to return to Confession in order to go to Communion?

FATHER JOE: Given that you were sick and recovering, I suspect that you are okay. Make a good act of contrition. Peace!
Chinonye, on March 16, 2018 at 6:58 am said:

Hello Fr.
I wanted to ask, would it be wrong to write a love letter to my crush who happens to be a Muslim? I know that I have to be with a Catholic man but I want to tell him how much I appreciate his positive qualities which includes his sensitivity, patience, a gentleman and a forgiving heart. Although he stated that he used to be a player but stopped when he turned 22. He may or may not want to date me but I still want to tell him how I feel about him. Should I do it? I can’t get him off my mind.

FATHER JOE: Sorry, but I try not to intrude into people’s romantic lives. All I would say is be fair and honest with everyone, including yourself. If you do not see a future in this relationship because of faith differences, then why would you spark the fire with such a revelation? But it is totally your business.
Scarlette, on March 15, 2018 at 1:25 am said:

This reading is misinterpreted by a few people I know. The first time I came here was to ask Father about one of the interpretations. My daughter’s religious ed. teacher said that Jesus made mistakes, and this instance was proof of it because he had to “try” 3 times before he cured the blind man. It was very disturbing to me. She’s still teaching and I’m not sure what to do.

FATHER JOE:

Sometimes, given the blog format, I am not sure about the references or connections of comments. Are you writing about Mark 8:22-26? This past weekend it was a different selection.

When they arrived at Bethsaida, they brought to him a blind man and begged him to touch him. He took the blind man by the hand and led him outside the village. Putting spittle on his eyes he laid his hands on him and asked, “Do you see anything?” Looking up he replied, “I see people looking like trees and walking.” Then he laid hands on his eyes a second time and he saw clearly; his sight was restored and he could see everything distinctly. Then he sent him home and said, “Do not even go into the village.”

I read an interesting article about this years ago in a medical journal while waiting in a hospital. The physician who authored the article suggested that the stages of healing were clear evidence that the miracle was real. He explained that medical science today can repair such eyes so that people might see; however, the patients complain that people look like walking sticks or trees… the very same language as in the Bible. He said the reason had to do with the brain. In such cases, the brain does not know how to interpret what the person is seeing. The second act in healing the blind man has Jesus healing the connection between the man’s eyes and his brain. There was no failure or mistake on Jesus’ part; the doctor explained that there were two distinct healings. I found it very interesting… especially as an argument for faith in a secular journal.
David, on March 14, 2018 at 2:50 pm said:

Dear Fr. Joe, I have been thinking about an event that happened last Sunday at Mass. During the homily, the priest was talking about the miracle of Jesus healing the blind man. (This is the alternate RCIA reading; perhaps it’s not the reading most people heard.)

I liked the way the priest read the whole passage, including the “optional” parts. But then in his homily, this priest said that the passage was not necessarily to be taken literally, as historical truth, and that it has symbolic meaning.

My understanding is that this way of interpreting the Bible is part of Modernism. How common is it these days for a priest to deny that the Gospel account is factual? I believe in the past such a statement would have been condemned. Perhaps it leads ultimately to denying the literal truth of the Resurrection itself? Maybe that too is to be taken as “symbolic?”

He also quoted from John Lennon’s Song “Nowhere Man.” Perhaps there is nothing wrong with that, although clearly John Lennon was an enemy of religion as stated in his song “Imagine.” Can’t the priest come up with a quotation from a Church father or a saint? How about quoting the late young Servant of God Carlo Acutis. As a teenager dying of leukemia, he devoted what energy he had to serving God. I like his statement “to always be close to Jesus, that’s my life plan.”

FATHER JOE: I would regard the Gospel narrative as historical and true.
Lauren, on March 12, 2018 at 7:48 pm said:

Father Joe,
Thank you for taking the time to respond to my question on spiritual restlessness. I appreciate all you shared. It might take me some time to digest it all, but a couple things jumped out to me.

First, “We are unable to fully give ourselves over”. This makes some sense to me. Already this Lent, I’ve experienced some remarkable spiritual growth. I have been faithful to my Lenten offerings of extra prayer, time for silence each day, at least one mid-week mass, and making a mindful effort to channel Christ’s love and healing to the patients I’m treating. (I work as a physical therapist). I’m not accustomed to being this prayerful normally (some prayer yes, but not what I’ve been experiencing since right before the start of Lent) I’ve received so much affirmation in things that have happened….I wish I could share them with you because it’s been remarkable! While it’s wonderful, it’s also a little overwhelming. I haven’t experienced this feeling before to this extent….so tuned into how close God is to us…and the extent of his love, etc. So, I believe there is some resistance on my part, holding back, unable to give myself over 100%. Maybe it’s lack of trust on my part, feeling unworthy, etc. This could all be cause for some restlessness I suppose.

Second, “Make the restlessness work for you”. This is very helpful! I think I’ve been fighting against it. Maybe God is making me uncomfortable for a reason? When it happens again, I will try to allow the restlessness to flow, and like you suggested, try to open up to God in that moment.

This weekend was the 24 hours of adoration and confessions (world wide I think!). I spent almost 2 hours in a beautiful church, one that I had not been in before. Everything seemed amplified, the smell of the candles, the amazing detail of enormous stained glass windows, the mesmerizing crucifix above the altar, the intensity of the silence, and of course the presence of the blessed sacrament. The 2 hours passed so quickly! There were a few peaks of restlessness…but I think the sheer beauty of the moment was able to override the restlessness so it didn’t become too intense. I also experienced a very healing confession, so if the restlessness has some connection to the state of my soul, hopefully that took care of it.

But, I will look into the prayer suggestions, devotions, and etc. you suggested. I’m finding this “spiritual restless” to be a peculiar and interesting thing….but, a little confusing. I will be pleased when I move past it. Also, I’m glad someone else benefitted from my question and your answer too! Thank you again for taking the time to draft such a extensive answer.
Peace be with you,
Lauren
Matthew, on March 12, 2018 at 1:54 am said:

Hi Father,

Is it a sin (mortal, venial, etc.) to contact anyone who possesses spiritual gifts, e.g., gifts of healing, prophecy, and discernment for guidance? I know that many of our favorite saints had the power of clairvoyance, yet the Church holds them in high esteem.

It appears the Catholic Church/Vatican still frowns upon necromancy, i.e., consulting the dead, spirits, etc. to obtain answers, especially about the future.

This website provides more information: http://www.amandalinettemeder.com/blog/vatican-now-approves-of-spiritual-gifts-heres-what-this-means-for-lay-people.

I recently contacted one such psychic who had the gift of clairvoyance. A religious Christian man who viewed his gifts as coming from God. Did I commit a sin by consulting with him? Do I need to go to confession to confess to a priest?

FATHER JOE: The interpretation of the Church’s acceptance of charismatic gifts as a general approval of psychics and mediums is false. While there are some sensitives used by exorcists, they only exercise their gifts at the behest of the Church and under her direction. I suspect that many if not most mediums are either charlatans or they are manipulated by demonic spirits and not the Holy Spirit. Charismatics view their gifts as an expression of the Holy Spirit. Most “professional” psychics are also involved with the occult and take payment for their services. ME-TV ads for psychics boast of only charging a dollar a minute… but that is $60 an hour. A famous (so-called Catholic psychic) on TV charges $850 for a short psychic encounter with the dead. Do not buy into it. Is it a sin… yes, I would say so. This is about more than charismatic prayer or prayers for healing. Gullible people are being exploited by superstition and old fashioned witchcraft under the banner of new age.
Dwight Carter, on March 12, 2018 at 12:13 am said:

My mother who was she went through RCIA before it was RCIA, back in the mid 60’s. It was a one on one with the priest, it his office, she took short classes a few times per week at St Bernard’s in Akron, Ohio. She is not sure if she and my father was physically confirmed. Does she have to go through the entire RCIA program again? Also my father have since pasted so she is worried about his status as well. Thank you very much.

FATHER JOE: If she entered the Church as an adult then she was received (or baptized), confirmed and received first Holy Communion. That was how it was done. So she has nothing to worry about. The Church would also keep a record.
Jeff Lawson, on March 11, 2018 at 11:02 pm said:

Fr.
Is it an option to use the readings of cycle a for lent this year? A local church is doing that.

FATHER JOE: Yes, we use cycle A for the scrutinies.
Kristin, on March 11, 2018 at 10:55 pm said:

Protestant student trying to understand the nature of papal infallibility. Is there any way that a pope could be coerced into speaking ex cathedra? Obviously, one hopes such a thing would never happen, but are there any safeguards to prevent It?
Thank you for your time and may God bless you!

FATHER JOE: Coercive statements would not be regarded as infallible. The Pope must freely profess something that the universal Church already believes and intends it to be received as part of his extraordinary magisterium.
Anon, on March 11, 2018 at 8:40 pm said:

Hi,
Are you sinning if you commit a sin without realizing it at the moment, and later, you think back on what you did and realize it was wrong? Is that type of thing something to confess?

FATHER JOE: You might do something wrong without knowing it. However, you cannot sin without knowing it. Sin requires deliberation and assent.
David, on March 11, 2018 at 7:03 pm said:

Dear Fr. Joe, this is similar to a statement I made on another blog this morning. (I don’t know if it will be posted.) I want to repeat it here because I think it’s important in case I made some statements that I should not have made. This concerns any criticisms I have made about how people dress or behave at mass, along with any criticism that may be implied in how priests run things, and the whole subject of the new Mass vs. the old Mass.

I realized this morning at Mass that I have been too critical of what others are doing, and not critical enough of my own attitude. I actually had a beautiful experience at Mass this morning, at the parish where I am newly registered. It is run by a religious order. Yes, I saw a man in shorts. And there was a young girl who assisted at the Altar. (It was actually a beautiful thing to see.) I also saw a great throng of people who were there to worship, and there was also another presentation of the elect who will soon be baptized. For me this is always a moving experience. I am so happy for them. How dare I criticize? To paraphrase the Holy Father, who am I to judge? Maybe he is right and I am being too rigid in my thinking. I think I have been focusing on a few minor problems, and ignoring the big picture.

I was thinking during Mass about my criticisms and I wondered what Jesus would say to me about my attitude. Then I began to see the light. I don’t want to be like the Pharisees in today’s Gospel reading, who criticized Jesus for healing the blind man on the Sabbath! Forgive me, Lord, for my own sins. Forgive me for judging others, when I am just a miserable sinner.

I am still interested in attending the Tridentine Mass, since I have never done so, but when I attend the regular Mass and it is like this morning, I feel ashamed of criticizing an experience that others find so meaningful. Today I was more open to the experience at my new church and it was meaningful to me as well. So I have learned an important lesson today.

I will pray about this.
Steve, on March 11, 2018 at 6:47 pm said:

Father – sometimes I feel my faith is as strong as anything, other times, I feel like I am just going through the motions. If I don’t feel my faith, will G`d listen to my prayers? How do we know we aren’t just keeping it up out of fear vice true love and faith? Bottom line, some days, it’s love, others it’s fear, others it’s just going through the motions,

FATHER JOE: Love, fear or going through the motions… the main thing is never give up and keep the faith.
paxi1949, on March 11, 2018 at 2:55 pm said:

Thank you for the deep answer to Lauren’s question on spiritual restlessness. It helped me deeply!
Talei, on March 11, 2018 at 2:57 am said:

Hi Father,

There is something that doesn’t always seem right to me. Last week Friday, just before Mass ended, the priest presiding Mass; offered one Hail Mary for the Holy Father’s intention and then said a few litany (not sure if this is the right term) and then he went on with the concluding rites. Is it alright for us to be saying other prayers; just before the concluding rites at Mass? I would think that it would’ve been better to offer up any prayers/special intentions during the general intercessions? Vinaka (Thank you)

FATHER JOE: Not sure what was happening. In the old days we used to add the prayer to Saint Michael the Archangel to defend us from evil and the devil.
Lauren, on March 11, 2018 at 2:13 am said:

Hi Father,
I’m curious to know if spiritual restlessness is a known phenomenon. I use the words ‘spiritual restlessness’ since that is the best way i can explain what I’m experiencing. I wouldn’t say it’s a bad feeling, just uncomfortable. Are there known causes for these feelings? This restless feeling happens mostly in quiet prayer, at Mass, sitting silently in church, etc. It’s like when you’re sleeping in one position for too long and you wake up because you’re uncomfortable and need to move into a different position. Have you ever heard of anything like this? Thank you so much!!

FATHER JOE:

Spiritual restlessness is in part expressive of the human condition. We are unable to fully give ourselves over. There is always a certain holding back. We are easily distracted and sometimes even bored. Nevertheless, sometimes the time flies as when a prayerful meditation surprisingly takes hold of us. There is a sense of God’s presence that fills us with joy. And yet, at other times, our words of prayer ring hollow. We know God hears all prayer but, as with a bad phone connection, the communication is broken or one-sided. We are sometimes more disposed to grace than at other times, perhaps in response to the state of our souls. We must also contend with chemistry. Jesus remarked about his lead apostles, “the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.” I cannot tell you how many rosaries I stared only to fall asleep and force my poor guardian angel to finish them.

I am reminded of C. S. Lewis’ book, THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE. Their experience of Narnia with its adventure and their encounter with Aslan the Lion (Christ) changes the children. They will never be the same again. Those who do not have a relationship of faith with Christ would not understand what we are even talking about. Non-believers regard prayer as a waste of time. What they regard as fiction, we consider as the most real— that God loves us and in Jesus Christ has offered his life for us. The warmth of his love brings the promise of eternal life. Returning to the book, after the children had undergone their spiritual adventure, they felt they had to explain to the Professor why four of the coats out of his wardrobe were missing. We read: “And the Professor, who was a very remarkable man, didn’t tell them not to be silly or not to tell lies, but believed the whole story. ‘No,’ he said, ‘I don’t think it will be any good trying to go back through the wardrobe door to get the coats. You won’t get into Narnia again by that route. Nor would the coats be much use by now if you did! Eh? What’s that? Yes, of course you’ll get back to Narnia again someday. Once a King in Narnia, always a King in Narnia. But don’t go trying to use the same route twice. Indeed, don’t try to get there at all. It’ll happen when you’re not looking for it. And don’t talk too much about it even among yourselves. And don’t mention it to anyone else unless you find that they’ve had adventures of the same sort themselves. What’s that? How will you know? Oh, you’ll know all right. Odd things they say— even their looks— will let the secret out. Keep your eyes open. Bless me, what do they teach them at these schools?’” We cannot return to the innocence and trust that made our prayers as children so very poignant and powerful. Like the children in the story, we have to find other ways to return to Narnia. We should employ all the gifts that come with learning and maturation. We can say our traditional prayers and we can make up our own. We can reflect upon the divine presence in our lives. We can meditate on his truths and what our Savior has done for us. We can be silent and still… and know that he is God.

St. Augustine would urge us to keep coming back to the Lord. The Church offers many tools to make this happen. We have the faith and sacraments. We have the Scriptures. We have the treasury of the Church. There is no need to pamper non-Christian spirituality— there is an infinite variety of devotions and prayers within the Catholic faith. There are litanies like that of the Sacred Heart, the Saints, the Holy Name, the Holy Spirit, etc. There is the rosary and countless chaplets. There are prayers of consecration as to the Sacred Heart and the Holy Family. Many pray the Stations of the Cross. Books are filled with approved novenas. There are also testimonials from great spiritual masters like St. John of the Cross, St. Theresa of Avila, St. Ignatius of Loyola, St. Francis de Sales, etc. It is okay to move from one to another. Make the restlessness work for you, instead of as against. Spend a Holy Hour from time to time and just talk with the Lord.

It may be that certain dry times are opportunities for spiritual weaning. God might take away the satisfaction we get from prayer so that we might be more attracted to the Giver than to the gifts. Remember what St. Augustine said, “You have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you.”

(1) Are you fully investing into your prayer life?

(2) Do you feed your faith through spiritual or religious reading?

(3) Have you chosen and exercising a Christian apostolate?

(4) Are you involved with anything that would damage your relationship with God?