Ask a Priest

5,442 Responses

Leslie E McGraw, on March 3, 2017 at 7:37 pm said:

Can you confess online to a priest?

FATHER JOE: No, you cannot. You must be immediately present.
Teresa, on March 3, 2017 at 3:21 am said:

Hi Father,

I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to answer our questions. Sometimes it seems difficult to get in touch with a priest – there are fewer of them now and they are kept busy with so many duties – and sometimes it is nicer to have a sort of anonymity in having such intimate questions answered. I appreciate you making yourself available!!

God Bless You,

Teresa
Finn, on March 3, 2017 at 3:13 am said:

Hey Father,
I recently noticed that you do not have a Skype account. I would recommend that you create one or i could create one for you if you want

FATHER JOE: No thanks. Not interested.
Dennis M. Long, on March 3, 2017 at 1:54 am said:

God will protect those who love him from bad people who do not follow Him and are evil, correct? What if we encounter them at work or socially and we even shake their hand? I worry about these things.

FATHER JOE: God will not abandon us. But this will not necessarily protect us from all harm. Remember that faithful Christian men are having their heads chopped off by ISIS militants.
Steven f, on March 3, 2017 at 1:26 am said:

My mother recently passed away, she suffered alot from als plus she was a good women and mostly went to mass when she could. I prayed the rosary, went to confession, followed by eucherist, hopefully all that taken together can get her into heaven. If she is in heaven, can she observe us, is she aware of what goes on with her family left behind.

Thanks Father.

FATHER JOE: I believe the dead are conscious and aware of us. How much they are aware of us I cannot say. I suspect it is whatever God finds sufficient. We pray for the poor souls in Purgatory. The saints of heaven intercede and pray for us.
Finn, on March 1, 2017 at 12:29 am said:

Hey Father, This is your task

Examine one of the following figures in Church History. At some point in the life of the Church, this person established a Religious Order, which is still in existence today.

Your role is to:
-Write a 250 word biography on the life of the chosen founder;
-Examine the historical context of the period in which your chosen founder lived;
-Evaluate the individual’s importance in shaping Church history;
-Assess the role of the Religious congregation in the life of the Contemporary Church worldwide.

You may choose from:
-Saint Marcellin Champagnat
-Marist Brothers
-Saint Vincent de Paul
-Congregation of the Mission
-Saint Ignatius Loyola
-Society of Jesus
-Saint Dominic Savio
-Order of Preachers
-Saint Clare
-Poor Clare Sisters
-Catherine McAuley
-Sisters of Mercy
-Mary Ward
-Institute of the Blessed Virgin Mary
-Nano Nagle
-Sisters of the Presentation of the Blessed Virgin Mary
-Madeleine Sophie Barat
-Society of the Sacred Heart

FATHER JOE: Sorry, but it is not my job to do your assignments. Peace!
Finn, on March 1, 2017 at 12:02 am said:

Hello Father,
I am a Catholic whore, currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend, who works at a military abortion clinic. So Hail Satan, and have a nice day.
Can I be forgiven for my sins?

FATHER JOE: One person’s bigotry is another’s mental illness. Some people delight in the sensational, even when it means rudeness and deception. Whatever your issues might be, I hope that you get the counseling and medication you need. Peace.
Finn, on February 28, 2017 at 9:39 pm said:

Hey There Father,
I was wondering if i could get in contact with you for a more relatable conversation. Do you have a Skype account? I would really appreciate it,

Cheers!

FATHER JOE: I do not have Skype. I am sure you have local priests that would be willing to have a conversation with you.
Jeffery, on February 28, 2017 at 8:24 pm said:

I have a question, if you are sick or have a serious diagnosis do you still have to give up something for Lent and eat no meat on Fridays?

FATHER JOE: Unless there is a direct medical reason, most people can and should abstain.
Joanne Conrad, on February 28, 2017 at 7:24 pm said:

Since Our Lady of Fatima told Jacinta that more people go to Hell for sins of the flesh than any other kind, it seems as if sexual reproduction itself is doing as good a job of populating Hell as it is populating the earth.
Just want to hear some intelligent comments.
Thank you.

FATHER JOE: The distinction that should be made is that the marital act between a husband and wife is virtuous and not sinful.
Dennis M. Long, on February 28, 2017 at 4:48 pm said:

I seem to have suffered from scrupulosity. I want to know, when I went to confession last I seemed to torment myself with coming up with sins from when I was a boy. Does one need to confess sins that might be venial? I don’t think I knew what a mortal sin was at the time. For something to be mortal one of the conditions is grave matter. What if I knew it was sinful but not grave matter.

FATHER JOE: If not grave matter, then not mortal sins… you are not obliged to confess all venial sins. Let the faults of your youth go.
Yvonne Serrano, on February 28, 2017 at 3:57 pm said:

Hello Father,
I suffer from Sciatic Nerve pain. I have heard and read that yoga is good for relieving this pain. I have also heard that yoga might be a sin. Is yoga a sin? Can I begin yoga to relieve my pain? Thank you. God bless.

FATHER JOE: Many people argue that the exercises are helpful. That is okay. But the trouble are the spiritual explanations. You cannot buy into the latter.
mrsbee330, on February 28, 2017 at 3:50 pm said:

Hi Fr. Joe,

I suffer from crippling anxiety about my health and future, even though I am happily married and have a wonderful life. Do you have any recommendations for books or scripture readings I could look into for help with this? Thank you!

FATHER JOE: As someone who has his own health issues, I can certainly understand anxiety. But remember what Jesus tells his apostles… “Be not afraid.” Whatever happens, our Lord will be there for us.
J, on February 27, 2017 at 8:24 am said:

I need to interview someone with a religion for my assignment and I was wondering if you could help. If you have the time it would be much appreciated if you could answer a few questions for me in detail. Thank you very much in advance and im very sorry if this caused you any inconvenience I just didnt know who else to turn to.
1. How old are you, where are you from and what was your childhood like?
2. How has your faith affected your life?
3. Have you always felt a connection to God? Why/Why not?
4. Were any of your close family also practicing the same religion?
5. How has the church changed and developed since you were little? Was it significant?
6. What is your role in the community and how does that associate with what you do for a living?
7. What is your opinion on Vatican II? Has it affected you in any way? if so was it in a good or bad way?
8. In your opinion should religion affect politics and have a say in the way they run things?
9. What significant historical events affected your faith and life experience?
10. What called you to become a Priest?
11. If there is anything you could change about the Catholic faith what would it be and why? or would you leave it the same?
12. Has you believing in this faith changed your relationship between your family and friends? If so how?
13. If you didn’t believe in the Catholic faith how would your life be different to how it is now?
14. What is your favourite part about Catholicism?
15. What is your favourite part about being a priest?
16. In what ways has God helped you through your life?
17. Do you think even though you have a faith you still lead a normal life and why?
18. Has anything ever happened that made you question your beliefs and if so what were they?
From Jacynta. Thank you very very much, God bless you.

FATHER JOE: I might return to this but right now do not have the time or inclination for an interrogation. Also, I can witness without laying bare my whole life. Peace.
Jeff Lawson, on February 27, 2017 at 1:28 am said:

Regarding Luke 10:21-22, can you give some clarity to the chosen? I have been trying to get my head around the fact that God knows who will be saved and who will not. The Church does not believe in predestination, and this seems to almost imply it.

FATHER JOE: The passage is about how the Spirit gives insight to the children about the ways of the kingdom. Turning to what you call “predestination” it is true that God knows all things, including who will be saved and who will not. St. Augustine spoke about this as predestined for glory. God’s providence makes room for freedom and abundant grace. If we have faith in Christ, lived out in obedience and charity, then we have every reason for the sure and certain HOPE of our salvation. There is a universal call to salvation but this does not mean that everyone will accept the divine invitation. Why should it bother us that God knows something that we do not? Human knowing cannot scratch the surface of what belongs to God. It should be enough that he has given us the means to be saved. We should make use of it. Anxiety about such questions minimizes the trust that we should have in him. God loves you. The big question is, do you love God? How you answer that question has eternal consequences.
Joe, on February 26, 2017 at 2:18 pm said:

I have a question. does sex equal marriage in God’s eyes? do two people if they aren’t married become one flesh if they just have sex? Do people become one flesh during sex or at marriage? I thought that two people become one flesh when they are married and when they have a much more deeper relationship than just sex. I know Paul says if you sleep with a prostitute you become one flesh with her but it also in Genesis it said how a man must leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife and then become one flesh. Also in John 4 when Jesus talked to the samaritan woman and he said that she is not married (does this include one flesh?) to the man she was sleeping with. Also my girlfriend is not a virgin so if sex equals one flesh and/or marriage is she still one flesh and/or married to her ex? please help

FATHER JOE:

You ask an excellent question. I believe that the laws of Scripture and those of the Church on this matter reflect something intrinsic to human nature and the meaning of personhood. Men and women might act like beasts but they are so much more than animals in heat. The corporeal complementarity of men and women touches realities unseen but real. As background to your question, the Catholic appreciation of marriage hinges upon various elements: (1) the couple must consist of a man and woman; (2) they must be free in this overture to each other; (3) they must possess the ability to fulfill the obligations of marriage, i.e. the ability to share the marital act, a life of mutual fidelity and an openness to the generation of children; and (4) they must actually desire this lasting union with a particular person (it is not readily interchangeable). The way men and women are made is geared or directed to this natural union. Our Lord raises it to the level of a sacrament that gives grace and is a renewal of the covenant of Christ with his bride the Church.

Moving to the question itself, while our bodies are meant for this profound union where there is both surrender and offering; bodies can be misused or even treated as toys for recreation. We can forget that we are our bodies. Christians are not separatists in terms of our metaphysical identity. We are animated or ensouled bodies. The human body (our very selves) when engaged with the sexual act is seeking the fullness of unity that is implied in marriage… this is even the case when the person is not the spouse. That is the reason why promiscuity and sex outside of marriage is both tragic and damaging. We are trying to express, find and manifest a unity that is not fully realized or present.

It is my conviction that every time a man and woman have intercourse, they are unalterably changed. There is a part of themselves given that is crying out for unity. When that unity is not what it should be, they fracture themselves. They leave a part of themselves that is wrongly given away.

C. S. Lewis in THE SCREWTAPE LETTERS has the demon Screwtape telling Wormwood that the analogy of “one flesh” is literally vaginal intercourse. What your body does, you do. It should be associated with love and marriage, but the physical expression has a profound effect on persons and joins them in a bond. Subsequent marriages are often challenged and even fail when there has been a great deal of pre-marital promiscuity. One young woman who was sexually active told me that over time she felt like she was being pulled apart. In truth, this was happening because she had given herself to so many men. A young man expressed something similar. He described it as being haunted. He had thought about being a priest. But his imagination, his very soul, was haunted by the faces and bodies of hundreds of women. What hurt him the most was he did not truly love any of them. He wanted to love, at least one of them. Lewis’ fictional demon Screwtape tells his compatriot this pressing fact: “The truth is that wherever a man lies with a woman, there, whether they like it or not, a transcendental relation is set up between them which must be eternally enjoyed or eternally endured.”

Back in more prudish days, this understanding even made people more cautious about kissing upon the mouth. The breath of life was associated with the souls. Lovers who kissed upon the mouth were seen as mixing or tying their souls together. While this might sound silly to us, it is a notion akin to that of the greater union of sexual intimacy. Many cultures insisted that if a man had sexual relations with a woman then he was duty-bound to marry her. In other words, he had to finish what was started.

Biblically, we can cite 1 Corinthians 6:15-20:

“Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take Christ’s members and make them the members of a prostitute? Of course not! [Or] do you not know that anyone who joins himself to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For ‘the two,’ it says, ‘will become one flesh.’ But whoever is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Avoid immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the immoral person sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been purchased at a price. Therefore, glorify God in your body.”

Sexual intimacy is an important part of marriage. Indeed, given that the primary reason for marriage is propagation, you could indeed regard them as equivalent. That is what makes fornication so terrible. It is wrong to extract that which belongs to marriage or to pretend to be married. However, if one pretends long enough, the state if not the Church might declare a cohabiting union to be a common law marriage. If there were no sex or genders then there would be no marriage as we know it. Sexual intimacy is the particular friendship and happiness that only properly belongs to spouses.

Biblically, the entering into one-flesh means copulation, not love. The two should become one-flesh in marriage but often people have already violated virginity. This would include the Samaritan woman at the well and your girlfriend. You can still fall in love and get married, but she will never be able to give you the gift of her virginity. It was offered to someone else. The sadness about this should also apply to men. There is no dual standard in Catholicism. However, promiscuity is not marriage in the eyes of the Church. Much is made of spiritual virginity these days (meaning sexual healing) but in truth the loss of virginity is a one-time demarcation. You cannot undo what has been done. Sexual intimacy is a powerful and life-changing experience. Lovers should be spouses ready to receive the treasure of children. That is why giving it as a gift to God in lifelong virginity or celibacy is so very precious. Instead of surrender to another person, the evangelical counsels are pursued in their most drastic realization. The woman or man gives himself entirely to God and to his service.
Decidueye, on February 26, 2017 at 8:09 am said:

Pseudo-Dionysius’ hierarchy of angelic choirs is obviously inspired by Iamblichus and Proclus’ orders of deities, with new names appended to the ranks (Hypercosmic gods became Seraphim, Liberated gods became Cherubim, etc…), and this angelology has stayed much the same since then, after St. Thomas used Ps. Dionyius’ works as source material for his own writings.

Given that the choirs of angels, which have been acceptable within Christianity for over a millenia, correspond exactly to ranks of deities in the Platonic system, and given that these deities have long histories and traditions of being viewed as beneficial to their worshippers before the advent of Christianity (akin to how Michael is viewed as the special protector of Israel, in Judaism, and of the Church, in Catholicism), is it heretical to venerate “pagan deities” as angelic spirits corresponding to particular choirs, or is it only unorthodox like some strains of “folk Catholicism,” which aren’t necessarily at variance with Catholic doctrine? If it is heretical, could you explain why? (I am considering becoming Catholic and have a background as a pagan, please be patient with my ignorance)

FATHER JOE: Pseudo-Dionysius and Thomas Aquinas are important sources for the classification and labeling of angels. While early neo-Platonic thought drew upon pre-Christian philosophy and thinking, the Bible would also be important, i.e. Ephesians 1:20-21: “…which he worked in Christ, raising him from the dead and seating him at his right hand in the heavens, far above every principality, authority, power, and dominion, and every name that is named not only in this age but also in the one to come” and Colossians 1:16: For in him were created all things in heaven and on earth, the visible and the invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers; all things were created through him and for him.” The classifications and labels appear in art, prayer and liturgical orations (creation), etc. But the speculation is not a matter of required catechetical belief. As a general rule, it would be forbidden to venerate pagan deities as angelic spirits. Indeed, angel-worship is regarded as superstitious and sinful. We ask for saintly intercession, but only God can be adored. The early Christian tradition would regard the pagan deities as DEMONS.
carla, on February 25, 2017 at 7:34 pm said:

I was reading Exodus, and the Jews were complaining to God about not having meat. God sent them quail and struck them down with a plague. Why? I have heard it is warning against greed… but they were eating manna for two years. The human body needs a variety of vitamins to function. The Jews request sounds reasonable to me. I am not sure what the issue is?

FATHER JOE: The details of the Exodus may not be always literally exacting. They also encountered other Semitic people in their wanderings. Food and water was sometimes plentiful, at other times it was not. They still had to toil and life was a struggle. The lesson was the need to trust God. God was not a grocery store. Jesus experienced something similar when after the multiplication of the fish and bread some people followed him not because of faith but for free food.
JC, on February 25, 2017 at 3:42 am said:

Is it mortal sin to copy on an exam?

FATHER JOE: I suspect the gravity would depend on the exam and the subjective makeup of the person. I can say that it is a sin. Cheating or copying on an exam is a deceit… work is put forward that belongs to another.
Jeff Lawson, on February 24, 2017 at 2:02 am said:

Can an no baptized adult be baptized in the Catholic Church without going through the rcia process. In other words if they are truly a believer in the Trinity and searching for a church can they still be baptized while discerning?

FATHER JOE: Reception or baptism into the Church by an adult requires catechesis. You must know what you are embracing. This comes at the end of the process of instruction and discernment.
SheenaM, on February 23, 2017 at 2:42 pm said:

Dear Father,

I am currently studying Year 9. I would like to ask you a few questions with my Religion major assignment. If it’s okay.

Here are the questions:
1. Can you describe your life before you become a priest?

FATHER JOE: I grew up in a large family. We went to Mass every Sunday and I attended public schools. I applied and was accepted into seminary right out of high school. I was an ordinary kid from a poor family.

2. How did you feel God calling you? What were the instances/events in life that made you feel God’s calling?

FATHER JOE: I initially thought about being a doctor. That was my plan until I was informed of acceptance into the seminary. We had a photo on the wall of a priest placing me as an infant (just baptized) on the altar. He prayed that I would be a priest. My father also prayed for this and told me so. I had a sense in prayer of God calling me to make a difference. I did not feel worthy but became a priest because I wanted to be an instrument of God in the forgiveness of sins and the salvation of souls.

3. What sustained your religious life through all these years?

FATHER JOE: I loved the Lord and wanted to bring others to a personal and corporate relationship with Jesus. I was particularly attracted to study and prayer.

Hoping for your immediate response.

Respectfully yours in Christ,
Sheena
Finn, on February 23, 2017 at 1:04 am said:

Hello there Father, I am looking to become a priest and was wondering if there was a certain type of hair-cut that i am required to get. Please help me!

FATHER JOE: Seminaries will instruct candidates in such accidentals. You need to be more concerned about the substance of a calling to ministry. Can you be celibate? Are you intellectually able to handle eight or more years of study? Will you give yourself to obedience to the bishop or a religious superior? Are you a person of prayer? Do you believe in all that the Catholic Church teaches to be true? Do you fully practice your faith as a layperson? Are you willing to lay down your life in service to God and to his people?
conversion13, on February 22, 2017 at 2:36 am said:

Father Joe,
I’ve read in the news that president Putin is a Christian himself and vowed to protect other Christians. Does there appear to be a religious shift in Russia towards Christianity? Christian’s are being prosecuted around the world but do you think that Our Lady of Fatimas messages calling for conversion of Russia is being fulfilled? I pray this is the case.

FATHER JOE: I hear that Putin wears a cross given him by his mother. But I really know little about him or about the current state of religion in Russia. Much is often made about our Lady of Fatima and the conversion of Russia. But what about the state of our own conversion in the West?
Marie, on February 22, 2017 at 12:24 am said:

Father,

I apologize in advance for the length of my post, I am wondering what response I should take in this situation as a Catholic. I am a disabled woman and have been since I was 2 years old. My brother has a child who is chronically ill due to a brain tumor and has had all the experiences related to caring for his child and seeking treatment.

Due to political issues lately, we got into a bit of a tiff. They are furious with me for supporting current president and therefore supporting hatred and discrimination. While I love my brother and his daughter very much, I feel I have a bit more perspective on some of these issues. I am older than his daughter and I have gone through the mainstream public education system when doing so was still controversial. I am gainfully employed, I have been fired due to my disability and I have been threaten due to it. I am not unaware there are people who make bad and even evil choices when they have power over someone weaker than them. In my opinion and experience, the radical left is a far bigger threat to the disabled in this country than Trump ever will be.

I feel my brother and my niece are both a little naive and heavy-handed with how they feel advocacy for the disable should be conducted. They have had the assistance and advocacy of a team of doctors and specialists that many of the disabled would never have access to. I feel I have more “boots on the ground” experience and frankly, have a better understanding of how to navigate these issues outside of the medical and school institutions.

I would be fine with them disagreeing with me, they are entitled to their own opinions. But my brother got on his high horse and declared me a terrible person and basically argued he knows more about the plight of the disabled than I do. He told me he wasn’t going to speak with me for a while so he could decide if he could get past my terrible flaws. I will be honest, Father, I told him off and demanded an apology when he decided to talk to me again.

I am a very private person. I do not generally share my tales of woe or my past hurts expect with those who I trust very much. My brother doesn’t know really anything about my experiences. I feel I should not have to “verify” my credentials to speak on these matters by rolling out all these “Woe is me” stories. Those stories have rarely been effective anyways. People get defensive or dismissive. I think my brother should be wise enough to understand I have some experience and some insight due to 30 years of being disabled without having to hearing all my stories.

I am struggling with whether I should contact my brother and give him the brutal truth. I don’t want to. I don’t think it will work. I have past experience where I fear I will be mocked and dismissed by my brothers. But in the large scheme of things, those are minor things, I will just get my feelings hurt. The rest of my family of origin wants me to let it lie because they want it to blow over and everyone get along again. My friends are encouraging me to leave it alone because they don’t want me to get hurt. But I want to do the right thing not just the safe thing. I am pregnant and I don’t want a lot of stress so there is part of me that believes I should put this out of my mind for my baby’s sake.

Am I being prudent by not getting into it or am I being a coward? I want to think I am being prudent but maybe I have these experiences and this perspective because I am supposed to speak up. For what it is worth, I doubt my brother will ever give me the apology I asked for so I think this is either the end of the line for a while unless I attempt to reach out.

Again, sorry for the length. Thank you for your time, Father.

FATHER JOE: Sharing more personal information with people who have already shown disrespect toward you is not the way to go. The current political situation is terribly polarized and many who criticize President Trump are also demonizing and mocking his supporters. I was not partial to either candidate in the last presidential election, but it is over and we must now move on. It seems that you are honest and open to dialogue but your brother and others are not so tolerant. Pray for him. Take care of yourself and your child. It is enough to leave a window or door open without reaching out and risking further rejection or humiliation. Arguing about who is more sensitive or aware about disabilities is childish. You both have some sense of the struggle. Your own experience and awareness should be obvious. He does not see the other side because he does not want to see it. Let it be. Maybe he will come around but there are some things we cannot control. Be at peace. God bless!
Sadie, on February 21, 2017 at 7:53 pm said:

My Catholic husband became an atheist. He wouldn’t allow our children to get baptized. I was scared for their salvation and since I knew he wouldn’t allow for their baptisms, I found out that if you were under oppressive circumstances and could not get to a priest for baptism, that you could do it yourself. And so, one day when I was giving them a bath, I baptized them. They were still young enough to not know what I was doing. They are much older now and don’t know that I did this. Neither does he. He would probably divorce me if he ever found out. Do you think God recognizes their baptisms?

FATHER JOE: Given that you had the intention of the Church, used water and followed the baptismal formula… yep, probably so.