Ask a Priest

5,433 Responses

Anonymous, on February 1, 2026 at 7:26 am said:

Hello Father Joe,

I have a question about situations when you realize that unwanted (or even sinful) thoughts may appear. For example, a person is engaged in some activity (neutral in itself), but because of obsessive thoughts he begins to think about promising something to God (as a reflex), but the person understands the absurdity of the thought, but it is obsessive. Would it be a sin to continue doing that work knowing that you might have thoughts about the promise?

There’s another question on the same topic. If a person deals with people of the opposite gender, but not with the intention of lustful thoughts, but is aroused by, for example, appearance or something else not vulgar. A person knows that he will get aroused, but this is not his goal and he has no sinful desires. Will it be a sin for this person to talk to members of the opposite gender?

FATHER JOE:

Unwanted or fleeting thoughts either do not constitute sin or at most would be venial. The custody of the eyes, for instance, is a matter of concern for many who would maintain charity and modesty. However, we are fallen and we must sometimes dismiss the beast to give ground to the rational animal. Feelings influence our thoughts, but we need discipline and control. Sins can be committed in thought, word or deed but gravity requires some deliberation. You might become angry with someone over a slight or injustice, and while there may be a fleeting thought of retaliation or revenge, the mature believer should be disciplined enough to dismiss certain thoughts and to remain in control of actions. The admonition of the Gospel is to forgive and to love. This is in direct opposition to thoughts of violence or manipulation for personal ends. The notion that any affiliation, even chaste, with those of the opposite sex should be avoided because of lustful thoughts is ridiculous and representative of a scrupulosity that is disordered and clinical.

As for promises made to God, they should never be capricious and if virtuous, they should be kept. But my presumption is that the person is mentally sound. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is a mental disease that plagues certain people and such ailments mitigate moral culpability. Indeed, it damages one’s faculty to make good decisions and to act responsibly. It impedes both our relationship with God and with others. Repetitively acting out on compulsions might reduce stress but the problem remains. What you describe as intrusive thoughts seems symptomatic of this psychological dilemma. Such can interfere with one’s secular and spiritual life. While prayer can be beneficial, I would also urge therapy and/or possible medication. It is sad but true that aberrant religiosity can fuel such maladies. The issue one has is not with God but with oneself.
Michael J, on January 28, 2026 at 3:47 pm said:

Father:

Before my reconversion to the Catholic faith 11 years ago, I suffered from a life long addiction to pornography. At the moment of my reconversion, the desire to use visual stimulation was immediately removed and I have not been really tempted that way for many years. However, God did leave me with the struggle to change my thinking and begin seeing women as they ought to be respected and my growth in chastity over that time is now very close to completion. I have since offered myself to my spouse in Holy Matrimony in a Catholic church and gotten married. My wife and I are very concerned to avoid any sexual practices that might be offensive to the natural law. However, we have had a difficult struggle trying to find a reputable Catholic moral source on what sexual practices are fully acceptable within the bonds of matrimony. We want to give each other excitement and pleasure but get very confused about what is acceptable behavior and what is not. We follow all the basic rules: no ejaculations outside her proper vas; no oral or anal sex, (we are past the age of reproduction so we don’t worry about contracepting); no masturbation; etc. We have one special condition: she has had a full hysterectomy and the scars prevent her from having vaginal penetration orgasms due to fear of pain. Am I allowed to manually stimulate her to orgasm as preparation for intercourse so she can experience orgasm, or is that a form of masturbation? The issues that confuse us are those of sexual preparation for intercourse. Can she gently stroke my maleness with her hand to excite and prepare me? Can I put my maleness between her breasts which is exciting for both of us? These are really the only issues we have left to resolve. It has been terribly difficult finding reliable magisterial guidance on these types of issues. Please help! We just need a properly vetted and magisterially approved set of guidelines so we don’t fall into sin. Thank you

FATHER JOE:

I hear that these books are useful:

Holy Sex!: A Catholic Guide to Toe-Curling, Mind-Blowing, Infallible Loving by Dr. Gregory Popcak

Good News About Sex & Marriage by Christopher West
Jeremy Kok, on January 23, 2026 at 4:08 am said:

Hello, Father Joe, I would like to ask about what is the real truth behind the Amityville haunting and was the house really haunted?

FATHER JOE: I cannot say. I did here that at one point that a large Hispanic Catholic family moved into the house and afterwards there were no issues. The joke was that the kids were so rambunctious that they chased the demon out.
Mike Zias, on January 21, 2026 at 11:06 pm said:

Hello Fr. Joe.

Given the customs of Mary’s time I wonder how well she would have known Joseph before the marriage. Also, given timelines mentioned in the biblical readings does it seem likely she was present at John the Baptists birth?

FATHER JOE: She spent about three months and probably left just before the birth.
Jeremy Kok, on January 20, 2026 at 2:59 am said:

Hello, Father Joe have you heard of this particular heresy called Collyridianism? Which is essentially a heresy that adored our Blessed Mother Mary as a goddess originating from pre-Islamic Arabia somewhere in the 4th century AD and it is also one of the primary rationales for many Muslim misunderstandings of the Catholic faith, they literally believed that the Trinity also included Mary based on this particular heresy and is the source for all Islamic assumptions about the Trinity since then.

Currently, how prevalent is this heresy among Muslims until now?

FATHER JOE: It is an error that appears in their religious book, the Koran.
Winter, on January 13, 2026 at 11:46 pm said:

Hi Father,

If I can’t fast on Ash Wednesday or Good Friday due to medical reasons, do I need to ask a priest for a dispensation or is the dispensation automatic? Thank you very much.

FATHER JOE: If genuine, it is automatic. However, one should avoid scandalizing other Catholics.
forsamuraimarket, on January 13, 2026 at 4:52 pm said:

Dear Padre,

Shoud I go to confession for this particular sin? And should I consider this mortal or venial?

It’s very embarrassing.

What happened:

I went to a massive religious event called Nazarene Feast.

With over 9 million people participating.. the crowd was thick and I was overwhelmed. It was my 10th or 11th year of going to this fiesta in Quiapo Church.

I was following the crowd and I honestly didn’t know what to do next. The marshall yelled “4 lines” and I got scared so I squizzed myself into the crowd.

A woman suddenly yelled at me very angrily for cutting lines.
1. I honestly genuinely didn’t intend to cut lines. That is not my character.
2. It is still my fault and I am taking accountability. But because of instinct, I whispered to her or said in a low voice “I’ve been here” and the more that she got angrier and yelled again at me ” No, you’re not!”
3. It was very embarrassing. I walked away with my head down as everyone was looking at us.
So it’s a sin to cut lines. I understand. But my mind wants to categorize it as venial. Is this correct?

But the whole event I couldn’t focus on thanking and praising God 😦 I was in tears and still thinking of the incident. I felt like a terrible human.

And even the next 3 days I was still feeling sore/burnt of the embarrassing incident. It was eating me. Is this pride, father?

I think this sin is mortal, right?

But also in my mind, I just went to confession last Dec 29 , 2025 and if this is venial, I will just wait for March 2025 which is my next schedule of confession.

Thank you, Padre. I pray for your good health.

FATHER JOE: The lady should have been charitable to you. You intended nothing wrong. Let it go.
Jeremy Kok, on January 11, 2026 at 7:49 am said:

Thank you father for the answer, here is a follow up question, could the animal skins also be a type of judgement or justice experienced by Adam and Eve after the Fall? Since they lost the clothing of original grace and justice.

FATHER JOE: It has been so argued.